Did she want to spend more time with him?
Yes again.
And she wanted him and needed him more than she had any other man. So did she want to sleep with him? The answer was yes again.
The nights she had sat on her porch listening for the sound of the pickup pulling into the neighboring driveway reminded Natalia of her mother who used to sit up and wait for her to come home at night after she’d gotten her driver’s license. And no matter how many times she told her mother she would never drink and drive, her entreaty fell on deaf ears. Sylvia Hawkins said it was her right as a mother to worry about her children.
But Seth wasn’t her child. He was her neighbor and more than capable of taking care of himself. He’d spent eighteen years in the Marines as a military police officer, deployed to Afghanistan and now had returned to his hometown to serve as a deputy sheriff. And for more than half his life he carried a gun on his person.
As Seth headed back to The Falls she recalled the nights he’d come home much later than usual and it suddenly hit her. Natalia was afraid he’d gotten involved in a confrontation where he may have been killed or injured. The images of bodies wheeled into the Trauma Center with gunshot and knife wounds came rushing back like frames of film. The sounds of screams, moans and prayers all merged into a cacophony which added to the chaos as she and the medical staff working tirelessly to save lives.
“Do you always talk to your patients?”
Seth’s query shattered her reverie. She stared at his distinctive profile as he drove out of the lot. “Most times. It becomes a distraction. I usually sing nursery rhymes to little kids before I give them a shot.”
“Do you rap to teenagers?”
Natalia laughed. “No. Sometimes I talk about sports or fashion or whatever they’re interested in.”
“That sounds a little unorthodox.”
“Don’t knock it, Seth, because it works. I once treated a high school football phenom who was brought in with a gunshot wound to his lower back only because he happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. He was inconsolable because he feared having to give up his dream to play college ball. I was able to stabilize him before he went into the OR.”
Seth gave her a quick glance. “What happened to him?”
“He made a full recovery and went on to become a first-round draft by the Philadelphia Eagles. We’ve kept in touch and he would send me a couple of tickets to every one of his home games.” Tickets Daryl coveted whenever a messenger delivered them to her, and had become a source of contention between them when she gave them to her brother, father and brother-in-law whenever she was scheduled to work.
Seth signaled, then maneuvered smoothly into another lane. “I like the feel of your Beemer.”
“You like it better than your Charger?”
“Nah! Your SUV is pretty, but there’s nothing better than hearing the roar of a muscle car’s engine. Some police departments around the country are using Chargers as cruisers.”
Natalia glanced at the clock on the dashboard. It was close to seven thirty. “Are you going back to work?”
Seth shook his head. “No. The assistant sheriff is covering my shift. If you don’t mind, I’d like to stop at the Den and have dinner before we go home.”
She glanced down at her scrubs. “I don’t want to go in wearing these.”
“What if I call in an order and pick it up?”
“That’ll work.” Her cell phone chimed a ringtone.
“Aren’t you going to answer your phone?” Seth asked.
“It’s a text message. I’ll look at it later.”
A pregnant pause ensued until Seth asked, “What do you want from the Den?”
“Anything that isn’t fried or rare.”
Using one hand, Seth unbuttoned the pocket on his uniform blouse and handed Natalia his cell. “Scroll through the directory for the Wolf Den and order what you want.”
“What do you want?”
“Whatever the day’s special is.”
Seth emerged from the restaurant to find Natalia staring straight ahead. She looked as if she’d been carved out of stone. He placed the shopping sack with their food on the floor behind the driver’s-side seat, and got in next to her.
He touched her arm. “What’s the matter, Natalia?” She handed him her phone. Seth swore under his breath when he stared at the photo of a well-dressed man holding a tiny dark-brown-and-white poodle. The text message read:
Oreo misses you and so do I.
He struggled not to lose his temper. “The clown is trying to mess with your head.”
Natalia closed her eyes as tears trickled down her face. “I know that. But...but I miss my dog.”
Seth gently rubbed her back in an attempt to comfort her. This was a Natalia he’d never witnessed. He was used to the feisty woman who’d survived a tumultuous relationship with a man who tried to bend her to his will, and she’d survived. She’d admitted to having two other relationships which had ended badly, and still she survived. Dr. Natalia Hawkins was a strong, intelligent, independent woman who’d taken control of her life and sought to change it when she relocated from Philadelphia to a town with two stoplights, but it was obvious her jackass of an ex knew exactly how to push her buttons.
Reaching over, Seth cradled the back of her head. “It’s okay, babe. He’ll get his.”
Natalia sniffled and blotted her face with a crumbled tissue. “I’m sorry I lost it.”
He kissed her temple. “You’re entitled to lose it, Natalia. You don’t have to be a superwoman every day all year. Even superheroes take time off to act like normal people.”
Her moist lashes fluttered wildly. “You’re a fine one to talk, Johnny Lawman. You’re on duty even when you’re not working. You try to hide that little automatic either at the small of your back or around your ankle, but I know it’s there.”
Seth rubbed his nose over her cheekbone. “That’s because I’m required to carry it even when off-duty. But once I take off the uniform I’m able to separate myself from deputy sheriff Collier.”
Natalia shook her head. “Correction alert. Remember you’re now the acting sheriff of Wickham Falls.”
He lowered his eyes. “It’s still not official.”
“But it will be.”
The news that Roger had selected Seth to stand in for him rather than Andy would generate a lot of gossip—positive and negative. “Is that what you want? For me to be sheriff?”
Natalia touched the tissue to her nose. “If in the future you were to run for the office you definitely would have my vote.”
He started up the engine. “That’s not going to happen because I’m not into politics beyond voting.”
“Not even if I become your campaign manager?”
“No.” Seth pulled out of the restaurant parking lot and drove in the direction of the local road. “We’ve both had a stressful day. What do you say about spending the night with me? After a good night’s sleep, you should feel better in the morning.” Seeing her cry had tugged at his heart.
“You want me to sleep with you?”
“Did I say that, Natalia? I invited you to sleep over, not sleep with me.”
Natalia stared out the side window. “Are you afraid I’m going to have another meltdown?”
“That’s only half of it.”
She turned to meet his eyes when he slowed as signs for the railroad crossing came into view. “What’s the other half?”
“I don’t need to be alone tonight.”
“Need or want?” Natalia asked.
“Need, babe. When I picked up Roger after he’d passed out, I had a flashback of carrying a buddy who’d literally been blown apart seconds after he’d attempted to detain a woman who’d detonated her suicide belt.”
Natalia placed her hand over his on the steerin
g wheel. “Do you still have flashbacks?”
“Not as many as I used to. The last one before Roger’s was when I saw the driver of that minivan bleeding from his head after I forced him off the road.”
“I’m so sorry, Seth. And you’re right. We don’t need to be alone tonight. What’s sad is that we’ve both experienced more than our share of death and dying. I’m going to stop at my place first and get a change of clothes I need for tomorrow, then I’ll be over.”
Seth felt as if he’d won a small victory to get Natalia to spend the night with him. She needed him and he needed her.
* * *
Natalia lingered at her house long enough to shower, change into a pair of lounging pants and oversize T-shirt, and pack an overnight bag with clothes for the next day. Seth had left his door unlocked and when she walked in she found him waiting for her. He’d also showered and had exchanged his uniform for gray sweatpants and a black tank top that revealed the power in his muscled upper body.
He took the bag from her loose grip. “I just put some of the dishes in the oven to reheat.”
“It smells wonderful.”
Seth set her bag on the floor next to the armchair and steered her into the kitchen. She’d ordered smothered chicken with onions and mushrooms.”
When he turned to check on the food in the oven Natalia remembered the colorful tattoo on his right shoulder and the one over his heart from when she’d given him the massage. “How long have you had your tattoos?” she asked.
“I got the Semper Fidelis one a few months after I passed basic training, and the Marine Corps Military Police insignia after graduating military police training. Do you have any ink?”
“No,” she said, laughing.
“Why not? Nowadays women have as much ink as men.”
“I’m not one of those. And what would I get?”
Seth winked at her as he slipped on an oven mitt. “What about a caduceus? After all, you are a physician.”
Natalia shook her head. “That’s not happening because I have an aversion to snakes and I definitely don’t want one stamped on my body.” She crossed the kitchen and gathered plates and flatware to set the table.
“If you did decide to get one where would you put it?” Seth questioned as he took out a microwavable dish and placed it on a trivet.
“It definitely would be somewhere that’s not easily visible.”
“That’s no fun. Only someone who would see you without your clothes would get to enjoy it.”
She gave him a saccharine grin. “Exactly.” Natalia set the plates on a place mat. “Do you know what I’ve noticed?”
“What’s that?”
“That we only get together over food.”
Seth took another plate from the oven. “That’s because our work hours don’t coincide like most normal couples.”
Her hands stilled. “Are we a couple, Seth?”
He stared at her under lowered lids. “Of course we are. Did you think otherwise?”
Natalia lifted her shoulders. “I wasn’t sure.”
“You’re not sure because we haven’t made love with each other?” he asked.
“Sleeping together doesn’t necessarily make two people a couple.”
There were times when she made love with Daryl she’d felt as if she was just going through the motions because it was something two people who lived together and shared a bed do. And if she had been truly honest with herself Natalia would say his lovemaking never rocked her world as she’d heard her girlfriends talk about their experiences with other men.
Seth came closer and cradled her face in his hands. “No, it doesn’t. Some people are couples in bed, but share nothing beyond that. I’m no choirboy when it comes to women. And I’m ashamed to say I’ve slept with some not because I wanted them but because I needed to release sexual frustration.”
Leaning closer, Natalia brushed a kiss over Seth’s mouth. She did not want to believe that she was having a mature conversation with a man who wasn’t afraid to admit his shortcomings when it came to women. “There’s no need to beat up on yourself, Seth—women use men for the same reason. And don’t ask me if I’ve done it because I’ll plead the Fifth. The only thing you need to know is that I’m not a virgin.”
He smiled. “And the only thing you need to know about me is that I’ve never slept with a woman without using protection.”
“Good for you. If more men used condoms it would lower the number of cases of STDs.”
Lowering his head, Seth trailed light kisses along the column of her neck. “Spoken like a true medical professional. Are you certain there’s nothing else I need to know about you?”
Natalia moaned deep in her throat when Seth’s hot breath seared her ear. “I’m on birth control.” She’d stopped taking an oral contraceptive when she and Daryl lived together and had her ob-gyn insert an IUD.
“So, you’re not ready to become a momma.”
“No. But I’m not saying I don’t want children.”
“You’d make a wonderful mother.”
“How do you know that?” she questioned.
“I saw you with Lily. She couldn’t stop laughing when you whispered something in her ear. Whenever I go over to see Giles she just sits there and gives me a death stare, and to this day I don’t know what I did for her to look at me like that.”
“Maybe she’s sizing you up. And you have to remember she’s daddy’s little girl.”
Seth released Natalia and pulled out a chair at the table. “Daddy’s and mommy’s. Mya was a few years behind me in school which meant she wasn’t one of the girls I hung out with. Please sit and I’ll serve you.”
Natalia sat and smiled up at Seth over her shoulder, wondering how she’d gotten so lucky to meet someone like him. He was the complete opposite of all of the men she’d been involved with and she chided herself for wasting her time with losers whom she’d known early on weren’t Mr. Right, but Mr. Right Now. She knew she couldn’t get back the years or time but vowed the next man in her life would have to be a certified Mr. Right.
Although she wasn’t in love with Seth, Natalia knew it would be so easy to love him. All she had to do was trust him enough to let him into her life.
“As soon as we finish eating I’ll make up the bed in the guestroom for you.”
“You don’t have to do that,” she said quietly. “I’ve seen your bed and it’s big enough for two people.”
Seth halted spooning a portion of green beans onto his plate. “You want to share my bed?”
Natalia bit back a smile when she saw his shocked expression. “Yes. We can sleep together without making love.”
“Is that want you want, Natalia?”
She nodded. “I do for now.”
His expression changed as he flashed a smile she interpreted as triumph. “Okay.”
Chapter Ten
“Were you aware that you snore?”
Natalia opened her eyes and exhaled a soft sigh. “No, I don’t.” She’d gotten into bed before Seth and fell asleep before he joined her.
“How do you know?” he whispered against the nape of her neck.
“Because no one ever told me that I do.”
“I take that back. Maybe those were sighs instead of snores.”
She turned over and met a pair of light brown eyes that were filled with perpetual laughter. “What happened to good morning?”
Winking, Seth kissed the end of her nose. “Good morning, darling.”
Natalia buried her face against the hollow of his throat. “That’s better.”
“Where’s my good morning?”
She rested her hand on his shoulder and, slowly and deliberately, she ran her fingers down his upper arm, over his pectorals, flat belly and even lower to the waistband of a pair of drawstring pajama pants. Her fingertip
s traced the indentation of his belly button.
“Good morning.”
Throwing back his head, Seth laughed loudly. “I like your good morning.”
She snuggled closer to his hard, warm body and buried her face between his neck and shoulder. “What time is it?”
“It’s a little after six.”
Natalia moaned softly. “It’s still too early to get up.”
“What time do you normally get up in the morning?”
“I try to stay in bed until seven. I know I’ll never catch up on all of the hours I lost working around the clock in the ER, but I’m going to try.”
Seth ran his fingers through her short hair. “Did you take something to keep you alert?”
“No. Most times I operated on pure adrenaline. But whenever I got the chance to lie down, I was asleep as soon as my head touched the pillow.”
“Like last night,” Seth teased. “You were out like a light when I came to bed. Do you always wear your hair this short?”
“Why? You don’t like it?” Natalia knew she sounded defensive because her short hairstyle had become another point of contention between her and Daryl.
“Did I say I didn’t like it?”
“No, but—”
“No buts, Natalia,” Seth interrupted. “I only asked because I think the style is perfect for your gorgeous face.”
She lowered her eyes demurely. “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me, babe. Thank your parents for creating such an incredibly beautiful baby girl that grew up to become a stunning woman.”
“You’re just full of compliments this morning,” she teased.
“You think I’m just blowing smoke, Natalia?” His query was laced with a thread of hardness. “You think I’m lying to you because I have an ulterior motive? Don’t compare me to your ex because there’s nothing I want from you except trust and honesty. I want you to trust me enough to tell me what you like or don’t like. And if I do something that bothers you, then let me know and not stew about it. I’m not perfect, Natalia. And there’s times when I’m not the easiest guy to get along with because I believe in not bending the rules. And if there comes a time when you don’t want to be with me, then just say the word and I’ll walk away with no hard feelings.”
The Sheriff 0f Wickham Falls (Wickham Falls Weddings Book 3) Page 13