***
She’s asleep when I walk into the room, stretched out on the small bed in the corner, our beautiful little girl on her chest. It is without a doubt, the most beautiful thing I have ever seen; My heart leaps in my chest at the sight.
Joe is walking towards the door, he stops before he passes me and claps a hand on my shoulder.
“She’ll come around,” He grins widely. “But you got some grovelin’ to do, boy. You sure are stupid, I tell you what...”
I laugh under my breath, unable to take my eyes off of my girls. “Thanks, Joe.”
He shuts the door quietly behind him on his way out, taking with him any light-heartedness I may have felt a few seconds ago. Standing in front of Bree holding our daughter now, the weight of what I could really lose comes down on me. The reality of that possibility hits me straight in the chest.
I sit quietly on the chair beside them, smiling with misty eyes at their beauty. Arabella is so small, so delicate. Aubree has physically and emotionally been through hell and back over these past few days, but she looks as fearless and determined as ever, even as she sleeps.
I think there is something to be said for a woman’s strength showing through, even in her most vulnerable state. And Bree is without a doubt the strongest woman I know.
I think of all that she’s been through, everything that she has battled, and I’m amazed that she can still go on. When Caleb died, I thought it was the worst thing that could happen to me. I sank deep into a darkness I never thought I would recover from. I grasped desperately at anything and everything that would make me feel as though he wasn’t really gone. That’s how I ended up in the army, that’s how all of this spiraled out of control. One lousy decision after another, all because I couldn’t hold myself together in my own pain.
I look at Bree, who has been through so much more than I could imagine, and I am in awe of her strength.
Her eyelids flutter as she blinks slowly awake. Her eyes go immediately to check Arabella, still asleep on her chest. They find me second, warily washing over my presence like it’s something to be cautious of.
My stomach dips like I’ve just gone over the peak on a steep roller coaster. Fear and adrenaline course through me as I crash at a hurtling speed toward the ground. I suddenly can’t speak. I had all these words to say and now all I can think is where are my words?
I place my hands on my knees and take a deep breath, trying to focus. One of her soft and sure hands covers mine. It’s like a shock to my system. I freeze looking to her for direction.
She smiles.
My heart hammers in my chest faster than ever. She smiles. She’s smiling at me. I can see by the playful look in her eyes that she’s enjoying watching me squirm.
“Before you say anything,” she whispers. “Can you just come here so we can stare at our little girl together?”
I let out a sound that’s somewhere between a sigh, a laugh and a sob. I gently sit down on the bed beside her and wrap my arms around her shoulders. She curls into me without hesitation, laying the beautiful little human we made halfway on each of us. We don’t speak, but so much is said in this small moment.
I take her face in my hands and kiss her softly. Tears are streaming down her face and mine as we take in our daughter for the first time together. We are mesmerized by her perfect innocence and all the possibilities her life holds.
“She has your nose,” Aubree whispers.
“She has your everything else,” I whisper back.
“She’s the most perfect thing I’ve ever seen,” she laughs through her tears. “Can you believe we made her?”
“You did all the work,” I tell her, tucking a loose hair behind her ear. Her eyes meet mine and I can finally see the questions in them.
She opens her mouth but I speak first.
“Aubree I was wrong,” I confess. “I was so wrong in not telling you everything that day after the funeral. I didn’t hide it for any reason other than my own fears. I was so scared to hurt you more than you had already been hurt. I thought you had been through enough, and I didn’t want to put you through anymore, not just yet. I told myself I would tell you soon, but I was too afraid every chance I got. First I was afraid of hurting you. Then, once you seemed to have moved on, I was afraid to open old wounds. Things happened so fast and once you got pregnant, I was terrified to put you under any unnecessary stress.”
I sigh, closing my eyes. “What I didn’t realize that entire time, is that I was judging your reaction based on my own fears.” I look into her eyes, willing her to really hear me. “You are the strongest person I have ever met. I am so sorry for not acknowledging the true weight of that, for not realizing that you could handle absolutely anything that life threw at you.”
I kiss her forehead and take a deep breath before I go on. “I know you have a lot to think about-”
“No, I’ve done all my thinking.” She says quietly. A rush of panic rolls through me, but I let her go on without argument.
She touches my face, her hand softly grazing over the stubble on my jaw. A soft smile touches her lips and she meets my gaze.
“I love you more than I’m angry with you.” She says simply. “Am I disappointed? Of course. You were this perfect person in my eyes for the longest time. I thought you could do no wrong and that you would never hurt me. That wasn’t fair to you. You’re only human and you’re bound to screw up every now and then, you’re allowed that. Once I calmed down and really thought it through, I realized that.
“I know this won’t be easy, we have a lot we have to work through, communication being one of them.” She laughs softly. I laugh with her, all the tension and worry seeping out of me with each word she speaks. “But I want that. I want a life with you, one we have to work on all the time because it will only keep getting better. I want a thousand bad days with you if it means I will get a million good ones. You are the love of my life, Sam. I want it all with you, the love and the war.”
Epilogue
Bree
One Year Later
“Has anyone seen my veil?” I ask the swarm of people buzzing around my room as I sit down to slip my feet into my barefoot sandals.
“Right here,” My mother says, bustling into the room with my veil held high. “I was just steaming out a few wrinkles. Stand for me?”
I stand up in front of the mirror, smoothing my hands down the front of my dress. I smile at her in the mirror, still just tickled that we agreed on this dress. It’s a fitted, silk chiffon Katie May dress with a low back and a tulip train. My mom places my veil gently into the long, intricate braid that winds down my back.
Her eyes meet mine in the mirror and they fill with tears. She places her hands lightly on my shoulders. “You look so beautiful, darling.”
I smile back at her, “Thank you, mom.”
“Let’s go show mommy your dress,” I hear Maddie say. I turn around to see a powder blue pom-pom wobbling over to me.
“Mama!” Arabella grabs for me with her chubby little fingers as Elle walks behind her to keep her upright. She’s only just started walking and the only words she knows are ‘mama’ and ‘snack’. Truly my child.
I scoop her up and spin her around. She shrieks with laughter, filling the whole room with her sweet giggle. The twins picked her dress and I can’t believe that I entrusted them with the task. She’s decked out in puffy tulle, the same dusty blue color as the bridesmaid dresses.
“She looks like she’s wearing a loofa,” I laugh, settling her on my hip.
“Well, then she’s the cutest little loofa I’ve ever seen!” Elle says, kissing Bella’s nose.
She giggles again, the sound filling me with so much love. Her laugh is the best thing I have ever heard. I kiss her chubby cheek and sit down, setting her in my lap in front of the mirror. I pull the flower crown I got her out of the box and place it over her dark ringlet curls.
My eyes wash over the scene in the mirror in front of me. Elle and Maddie are adjusting
their own flower crowns. My mother is fixing her lipstick. My daughter is staring up at me through eyes the same color as my own. I never thought I’d have this, a family, especially not a daughter.
I’m flooded with emotions, each moment of this weekend has held more weight than the last. And in just about an hour I get to marry the love of my life.
There’s a knock on the door and Carter pops his head in. “Hey, the photographer is ready for the first look.” I stand and he smiles, “You look amazing, sis.”
I pass him Arabella and grab my bouquet, taking a deep breath. I haven’t been nervous until this very moment. My skin buzzes with anxious excitement as I walk downstairs and out on the back porch.
Sam is standing with his back to me, hands in his pockets and facing the ocean. Just down the steps, chairs and an arbor are set up for the ceremony.
He’s wearing a light gray suit in a slim fit. It hugs his broad frame nicely. The moment I lay eyes on him, all my anxiousness fades away. The photographer gives me a thumbs up so I walk to him.
He turns around slowly, savoring each second of anticipation. He reaches for me immediately, his hand lightly cupping my face. He shakes his head, as at a loss for words as I am. I rest my forehead against his, closing my eyes and trying unsuccessfully to fight off the tears.
“The most beautiful I have ever seen you is the first moment I saw you holding Bella.” He murmurs against my lips. “But this is a close second. You are so beautiful.”
I wrap my arms around his neck and press my lips to his, giving up on fighting tears now. The rest of the world fades away, there’s nothing but Sam and the earth-shattering love we have that has survived a lifetime of hardships. I know there will be more, in fact, I look forward to them. I know they will only make us stronger, bring us closer together. If there’s anything that Sam has taught me, it’s that true love is a choice. When things start getting hard, love will only take you so far. When you truly love someone, you have to make the choice to stand by them through it all, no matter their mistakes.
“I can’t believe we’re getting married,” I whisper. “This all feels like a dream.”
“Then don’t wake up,” He whispers back, brushing his lips across mine. “Dream with me forever.”
The End.
About the Author
H. Dillon Hunt lives in Huntsville, Alabama where she grew up and will never ever, ever get to leave. If she had it her way, she would live in Seattle, but she loves her family so she stays in the slow moving, muggy, Ala-freakin-bama.
She and her husband Tim have five fur-babies together, two dogs Sammi and Shadow and three cats, Teddy, Thea, and Felicity. When she isn't writing, she's reading Harry Potter (Ravenclaw but a Slytherin if you cross her), working as a makeup-artist, or riding horses. By day, she works as an interior designer and wedding planner, and by night she writes and tries to live out her fantasy as a rock star. She is currently writing her third standalone novel, Mark, which will release in 2020.
You can stalk her on social media at the sites below.
Instagram: h_dillon_hunt
Facebook: Author H. Dillon Hunt
Twitter: @DillonSmith13
Goodreads: H. Dillon Hunt
Acknowledgements
First and always first is my God, my comforter, my best friend. Thank you, Lord for everything you have done for me. Thank you Jesus for the freedom you give so relentlessly and the redeeming love you demonstrated for us all. “We love because Christ first loved us.” 1 John 4:19
Kirsten Moore. From the plot help, to the editor-like beta reading, I would not have ever been able to write this book without you. Thank you, thank you, thank you for your unending patience and for all that you contributed to this story.
Tim Hunt, my real life Sam. I still remember sitting in the passenger seat of Ole Smokey, driving down the back of Grant mountain with my plot book in my lap, trying to figure out how in the hell I was going to execute this. I cried and whined and pulled my hair in frustration and you just put your hand on my shoulder, told me to breath and helped me talk it out. That was the turning point for this story; you truly helped me work out how to write it simply by being patient with me and helping me get out of my own head. I love you more than any other human. Thank you for your unending wisdom and patience. I am so, so blessed that I get to call you mine.
Hagan Ann Smith. You put up with more crazy from me than even Tim. Thank you for taking the time to talk out plot holes with me and having no qualms about telling me when something sucks. I love your brutal honesty and your keen eye for detail is what made this book into what it is. I love you big sissy!
Kristie Rentz. Thank you mama, for believing in me, pushing me to be my best self, and inspiring me. You always have made me feel that I can do whatever I set my mind to, and cheered me on the entire way. I love you more than words can say.
Shawn Smith. Daddy, you have a blind faith in me that has made me so confident in everything I do. I can’t thank you enough for that. For everything I try to downplay, you make every little thing I do seem like the greatest achievement in the world. Thank you for always believing in me.
Lisa Malone. Thank you so, SO much for all of your help editing. There is no one else I trust more than you and this novel would not at all be what it is without your help. You keen eye for detail and structure cleaned my messy manuscript up into a work I’m truly proud of.
Rebecca Hubbard. Thank you for being my best friend. You are the purest, most angelic soul I have ever met. You make me want to be a better person just by being around. I remember when I really started diving into the book and writing in general, before I ever wrote Whiskey & Wine, and you supported me and told me I could do it. You’re there every time I need you, and I need you a lot. Thank you for being you.
Emily Jamerson. My kindred, my soul mate. You get me; it’s as simple as that. I really buckled down and finished this book when we got back from Seattle, not because I couldn’t have before, but because I was so damn full of inspiration and love from that trip. I can’t think of Seattle without thinking of you. That’s our city, and it, just like you, is a constant source of inspiration for me.
Rachel Leighanne. You have always been such a radiant light of encouragement for me. When I feel like I’m a subpar writer, you make me feel like I am one of the greats. Thank you so much for all you contributed to this story and for your joyful enthusiasm.
Stephanie Nichole. You’re a freaking rock star. You pump out books and write more than I could even dream of writing. I am constantly inspired by your hard work and I’m so lucky to call you a friend. Thank you for always encouraging me and making me believe in myself as a writer.
David Johnson. Thank you for our long talks and your wonderful insight. I loved them so much that I put you in my book! You helped talk me through a pivotal time in my life where I didn’t know what to do or what I wanted to be. I still don’t know sometimes, but I do know my purpose and you gave me a sense of direction. I hope I did your brilliance justice.
Cain Dove. Your eyes were the first to ever read this story, long before it grew into what it is. Back before I even finished Whiskey & Wine, I wrote the prologue to this book. I remember sitting at my desk in the salon and you ran over with my tiny laptop in hand, hitting the down key repeatedly saying, “Where is the rest? I need the rest!” In your excitement, you inspired me in my writing more than you’ll ever know. Thank you for inspiring in me.
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