by Sarah Noffke
All my friends all had regular jobs so I knew that they weren’t going to be able to hang out with me on my Fridays off. So guess what I started doing to fill the time? I started a blog, which turned into a book, which I didn’t publish because it was silly. But still, I can probably thank having those Fridays off for preparing me to write real books that are still silly but hopefully much better than my first one.
I’d actually written a book prior to that called One Day Hill. I, like many authors, had woken up from a dream where I’d gotten this idea for a novel. I started taking my lunch breaks to write it. I didn’t outline at that time because I was insane. And guess why you’ll never see that book? Because it doesn’t have an ending. Well, it doesn’t have a good ending. It actually has like three endings that I’ve written but none of them fit because I don’t think I was ever supposed to do anything with the book. Like the blog, it was just priming me to one day write real books that have endings and hopefully are good enough that readers pick up the next one or hopefully the next 11.
Seriously, right before I sat down to write these author notes, I was like, I’ve got nothing to write about. And then 2k words later and I’m talking about video games and blogs. Is it ever a wonder that my daughter is never quiet? I wonder where she gets it from...
Speaking of never quiet, let’s discuss Ramy Vance and how he got to be killed twice in a book. So Martha Carr has these really fun Zoom luncheons each month. She made the mistake of asking Ramy and I to host one. Anyway, during one of these lunches, he all but begs me to bring him back in the books and kill him off, but only in ridiculous ways.
The idea was that his deaths would always be totally avoidable and a total inconvenience to others (especially because he didn’t really die and would come back). In the past, I’ve actually had trouble with the idea of killing off a friend in a book. Yes, I called Ramy-Cans a friend. Do not tell anyone!
However, after coming up with the new Ramy storyline, I realized that I could kill him since he didn’t really die. So that’s how we got the Ramy-Cans who is accident prone and can’t be killed, but is constantly splattering his guts all over everything.
To make things even darker, I asked the Scotsman how Ramy should die and he supplied the idea of him making fun of a vegan and then poisoning himself with meat or cheese. Yes, that’s how we romantically spend our time, crafting the fictional deaths of our friends. Just imagine if you’re not my friend!
If you’re not my friend, then you go into a book as a villain, where you are hated and die an even more horrible and permanent death. Versalee was a real bearded girl I knew from Arkansas. She wasn’t bright or especially talented and she cheated on my brother (her husband at the time) and then tried to sabotage me. It’s all water under the bridge. I forgive Versalee for being a first class Hooker Shoes (yeah, I’m bringing that one back for those of you who get the reference). I forgave her, but then I also put her in a book and who knows what will happen to our villain. Spoiler alert! She won’t go on to rule the world or break hearts or succeed in bringing me down.
Okay, I’m off to start book 12 and a little sad as I realize that it will be the last one, but as you all know, I’m never really done with characters or settings. I’ve got the ability to bring back Ricky Bobby, the House of Fourteen, the Lucidite Institute and many characters. So be prepared to see our friends again, possibly in the next series: The Inscrutable Paris Beaufont. Looking forward to visiting Happily Ever After College after this.
Until then, take care of each other and yourselves.
Much love and peace,
Tiny Ninja
PS Manderle, I let you off the hook on this one, but just you wait... More teasing at the end of book 12. That’s a promise!
Michael’s Author Notes
December 28, 2020
Thank you for not only reading BOOK 11(!) but also my author notes in the back after Sarah ‘What do have I to talk about?’ Noffke’s novellete before me.
Not that I’m saying she has a problem with lockdown and going stir crazy (and just how far apart is crazy from stir crazy anyway?)
But I totally am.
She and I spoke the other day for a few minutes to catch up on a subject or two and if you ever get a chance to jump on a phone call with her…
Do it.
I promise, the call will be EXACTLY like her author notes in this book.
So, I’m starting to cook more (something I did a lot of back in my teens and early twenties). For the last few years (especially since 2016) I have exchanged money for someone to cook and clean at restaurants. The reason was time.
As in, I haven’t had enough time since 2016 to slow down.
Now, about five years later, I have set up stuff in the company in such a way that I’m looking forward to getting some time to dabble in other areas besides books and publishing. I’ve kinda decided that healthy eating (well, healthier eating because me…) is what I hope to do.
So, be prepared for more discussions about my little jaunts into cooking and things I have learned. For example, I’m a HUGE fan of chili oil at Chinese food restaurants.
Now, I thought that it was little more than oil and red chili flakes mixed together and let it sit.
Spoiler – It’s not.
So, I was on Amazon a couple of weeks ago and decided I’d try to start buying some of the food that I can’t find easily while re-heating fried rice from Ping Pang Pong. Of course, I was running low on chili oil from a bottle I purchased at the local large grocery store.
I had an iPad, and a reason to go shopping for something cool.
I found two different types of chili oil (one with the flakes as a component and one that was clear red) PLUS a 7-Pepper Japanese mix that you shake onto your food.
For those who are interested, here are the products:
S&B Layu, Chili Oil, 1.11 fl oz
S&B - La-Yu Chili Oil With Chili Pepper 1.11 Fl. Oz
And
House - Shichimi Togarashi - Japanese Mixed Chili Pepper 0.63 Oz
Now, I haven’t tried the first oil (only the second) nor the mixed chili pepper yet. The ‘With Chili Pepper’ oil was …ok. It wasn’t as good as what I get at the restaurants and had a slightly odd flavor that was kinda meh.
I’ve tried the Japanese spice on the tip of my finger – it promises to burn the @#%@# outta my mouth. Not really jumping on that wagon at the moment. Plus, I haven’t cooked anything I’d want it on.
Oh, and I bought something besides ground meat for the first time in a while. I grabbed the Smith’s Carne Asada and grilled it for tacos yesterday. Wasn’t a huge fan of the spice they used. So, I’ll have to find a recipe to use.
I also had leftover brisket (from the day before – Dickey’s BBQ. I didn’t go to Jessie Rae’s because now I live pretty far away.) The restaurant did NOT provide much sauce so I bought Stubb’s BBQ sauce and tried it.
Pretty good, nice hit of spice but a bit sweet for me. I need to plan a trip over to Jessie Rae’s to buy a bottle or two of God Sauce.
I found a book on wood-pellet grill and smoking and bought it last night. I felt like Tim ‘the Tool Man’ Taylor as I’m reading all of the specifics of how wood pellet cooking makes BBQ and smoking a Texas brisket much easier.
I’m from Texas, I have a desire to at least cook one damned brisket that can be described as meat butter before I die.
I realized that for the cost of everything (that I wanted) I could order a @#%@# ton of brisket from the local BBQ joint for three years so is that really practical?
Who said loving to make BBQ was practical?
I’m eyeing a part of the back yard where the pit could be stashed. If my wife finds me out there with a tape measure, she should get worried.
Ok, I need to go eat, I’m starving!
See you next book.
Ad Aeternitatem,
Michael
Acknowledgments
Sarah Noffke
I feel like I’m on the stage at the O
scars, accepting an award when I write my acknowledgments. I stand there, holding this award, my hands shaking and my words racing around in my mind. I’m not an actress for a reason. I’m a writer and talking to people in “real life” is hard. Not to mention a ton of people all at once.
I picture looking out at the audience and being blinded by spotlights and forgetting every word of the speech I memorized just in case I won. The speech would go like this and it’s meant for all of you, not the guild. For the fans. The supporters. The people who are the reason I would ever stand on any stage, ever.
Okay, here we go. I clear my throat and smile, looking up at the camera, holding the little golden man. And then I begin:
This was never supposed to happen. I was never meant to publish a book and then another one. And then another. I was supposed to write in private and live a life that Henry David Thoreau called a life of “quiet desperation.” I would always hope to share my books, but never bring myself to do it. And you would never read my words. But then, in a crazed moment of brashness, I did share my books and you all liked them. And because of that, I’ve never been the same. And here I am feeling grateful all just because…
That’s why I’m here. Because of you. Thank you to my first readers. The ones who picked up those books that I didn’t even outline and you still liked them. You messaged me and maybe you thought it was no big deal, but when your ego is new to the publishing world, it’s a big deal.
I can’t thank you readers enough. I’ve found that reading your reviews helps me to start a chapter when I’m stuck or lazy.
I really need to thank someone who has made this all possible and that’s my father. I was going to quit. I can’t tell you how many times I quit. But when I wasn’t making it, he was the one who told me to not throw in the towel. “Give yourself a timeline,” he suggested. If I didn’t get to my goal by then, I’d quit. And apparently there was magic in that advice, because I’m still doing this. Dad, you’re the pragmatic one, but when you believed in me enough to tell me to not quit, I knew I had to follow your advice.
And I thank all my friends who are constantly supporting me with thoughts of love and encouragement. Most don’t read my books. I’m sort of self-deprecating, although I’m working on it and will be the first to tell my friends, “My books probably aren’t for you.” However, every now and then a friend surprises me and says, “I was up all night reading your books.” It’s always a total shock. But my point is, that even if they didn’t read, I still have the best friends ever. Diane, you’re my rock. And I love you, even though you will probably not read this.
Thank you to everyone at LMBPN. Those people are like family to me, although I’m not sure if they’ll let me sleep on their couch. Well, who am I kidding? They totally will. Big thanks to Steve, Lynne, Mihaela, Kelly, Jen and the entire team. The JIT members are the best.
Huge thank you to the LMBPN Ladies group on Facebook. Micky, you’re the best. And that group keeps me sane.
And a giant thank you to the betas for this series. Juergen you are my first reader and friend. Thanks for all the help. And thanks to Martin and Crystal for being some of the best people I know. What would I do without you? A huge thanks to the ARC team. Seriously, if it weren’t for you all I might pass out before release day, wondering if anyone will like the book.
And with all my books, my final thank you goes to my lovely muse, Lydia. Oh sweet darling, I write these books for you, but ironically, I couldn’t write them without you. You are my inspiration. My sounding board. And the reason that I want to succeed. I love you.
Thank you all! I’m sorry if I forgot anyone. Blame Michael. For no other reason than just because.
Books By Sarah Noffke
Sarah Noffke writes YA and NA science fiction, fantasy, paranormal and urban fantasy. In addition to being an author, she is a mother, podcaster and professor. Noffke holds a Masters of Management and teaches college business/writing courses. Most of her students have no idea that she toils away her hours crafting fictional characters. www.sarahnoffke.com
Check out other work by Sarah author here.
Ghost Squadron:
Formation #1:
Kill the bad guys. Save the Galaxy. All in a hard day’s work.
After ten years of wandering the outer rim of the galaxy, Eddie Teach is a man without a purpose. He was one of the toughest pilots in the Federation, but now he’s just a regular guy, getting into bar fights and making a difference wherever he can. It’s not the same as flying a ship and saving colonies, but it’ll have to do.
That is, until General Lance Reynolds tracks Eddie down and offers him a job. There are bad people out there, plotting terrible things, killing innocent people, and destroying entire colonies. Someone has to stop them.
Eddie, along with the genetically-enhanced combat pilot Julianna Fregin and her trusty E.I. named Pip, must recruit a diverse team of specialists, both human and alien. They’ll need to master their new Q-Ship, one of the most powerful strike ships ever constructed. And finally, they’ll have to stop a faceless enemy so powerful, it threatens to destroy the entire Federation.
All in a day’s work, right?
Experience this exciting military sci-fi saga and the latest addition to the expanded Kurtherian Gambit Universe. If you’re a fan of Mass Effect, Firefly, or Star Wars, you’ll love this riveting new space opera.
*NOTE: If cursing is a problem, then this might not be for you.
Check out the entire series here.
The Precious Galaxy Series:
Corruption #1
A new evil lurks in the darkness.
After an explosion, the crew of a battlecruiser mysteriously disappears.
Bailey and Lewis, complete strangers, find themselves suddenly onboard the damaged ship. Lewis hasn’t worked a case in years, not since the final one broke his spirit and his bank account. The last thing Bailey remembers is preparing to take down a fugitive on Onyx Station.
Mysteries are harder to solve when there’s no evidence left behind.
Bailey and Lewis don’t know how they got onboard Ricky Bobby or why. However, they quickly learn that whatever was responsible for the explosion and disappearance of the crew is still on the ship.
Monsters are real and what this one can do changes everything.
The new team bands together to discover what happened and how to fight the monster lurking in the bottom of the battlecruiser.
Will they find the missing crew? Or will the monster end them all?
The Soul Stone Mage Series:
House of Enchanted #1:
The Kingdom of Virgo has lived in peace for thousands of years…until now.
The humans from Terran have always been real assholes to the witches of Virgo. Now a silent war is brewing, and the timing couldn’t be worse. Princess Azure will soon be crowned queen of the Kingdom of Virgo.
In the Dark Forest a powerful potion-maker has been murdered.
Charmsgood was the only wizard who could stop a deadly virus plaguing Virgo. He also knew about the devastation the people from Terran had done to the forest.
Azure must protect her people. Mend the Dark Forest. Create alliances with savage beasts. No biggie, right?
But on coronation day everything changes. Princess Azure isn’t who she thought she was and that’s a big freaking problem.
Welcome to The Revelations of Oriceran. Check out the entire series here.
The Lucidites Series:
Awoken, #1:
Around the world humans are hallucinating after sleepless nights.
In a sterile, underground institute the forecasters keep reporting the same events.
And in the backwoods of Texas, a sixteen-year-old girl is about to be caught up in a fierce, ethereal battle.
Meet Roya Stark. She drowns every night in her dreams, spends her hours reading classic literature to avoid her family’s ridicule, and is prone to premonitions—which are becoming more frequent. And now her dreams are fi
lled with strangers offering to reveal what she has always wanted to know: Who is she? That’s the question that haunts her, and she’s about to find out. But will Roya live to regret learning the truth?
Stunned, #2
Revived, #3
The Reverians Series:
Defects, #1:
In the happy, clean community of Austin Valley, everything appears to be perfect. Seventeen-year-old Em Fuller, however, fears something is askew. Em is one of the new generation of Dream Travelers. For some reason, the gods have not seen fit to gift all of them with their expected special abilities. Em is a Defect—one of the unfortunate Dream Travelers not gifted with a psychic power. Desperate to do whatever it takes to earn her gift, she endures painful daily injections along with commands from her overbearing, loveless father. One of the few bright spots in her life is the return of a friend she had thought dead—but with his return comes the knowledge of a shocking, unforgivable truth. The society Em thought was protecting her has actually been betraying her, but she has no idea how to break away from its authority without hurting everyone she loves.
Rebels, #2
Warriors, #3
Vagabond Circus Series:
Suspended, #1:
When a stranger joins the cast of Vagabond Circus—a circus that is run by Dream Travelers and features real magic—mysterious events start happening. The once orderly grounds of the circus become riddled with hidden threats. And the ringmaster realizes not only are his circus and its magic at risk, but also his very life.