“Oh, fuck no!” I harshly roar out. I’m out and around the truck before she gets to the hood. Pushing forward, I advance on her quickly, towering over her short, petite frame. She holds her stance with an evil promise on her face, her features set in stone. “You can drink my whiskey, smoke my bud, you can ride my dick or passenger, but do not disrespect the truck.” I point toward the side she just carelessly kicked and scratched. For the love of god, what is up her ass?
Her hip cocks out as she crosses her arms over her chest. “Fuck you and your truck, Cowboy. My purse brushed the door. I didn’t hurt your truck for fuck’s sake. I know you don’t want a relationship, and guess what? I don’t either, so calm your tits and think on it before you say something else you’ll want to take back tomorrow.” She first throws my words back at me and then she throws her elbow to maneuver around me.
Pressing forward, I trap her right where I want her and growl, “I’m not going to fuck you again.” My dick reacts and comes to rock-hard attention at her sassy mouth. “Darlin’, been there and done that, and could if I wanted it again. If.” I grab my cock, drawing her gaze to see what she could have. With a grunt, I turn around and make my way out of the garage.
Crazy ass woman needs more attention than I have time for. Fuming, I head inside before I do what I wanted and fuck her hard against the truck, making her apologize. She’s teased me with her familiar scent and intoxicating memories on the drive here. The fantasies play havoc with my senses and it takes all my will to push her away, because one taste may not be the last. I can’t go there with her. My reaction is enough to make me pull away. She is what a man like me runs away from—a complication.
Brothers try to make small talk, but I’m pissed the fuck off and hard. I don’t wait for them to try and figure out why as I blow past them with steam coming from my nose. I know it’s not my normal and I just need a minute to calm my nerves. The glances they freely give are proof I’m out of my damn mind.
In the bathroom, I strip out of my clothes and hit the showers. I try to ignore the night when I slid in between her slick pussy and fucked her under the stars in the mountains. Now, it’s damn near impossible to push back what is determined to be seen and I daydream about her choking on my dick while on her knees.
“Shit!” I give in and ride the crazy train. Wrapping my fist around my cock, I think of her and all the ways I would take her in this moment, if I could. I think about her naked, hot body and my hand pumps faster and harder until I shoot my frustration down the drain, groaning while jets of cum release the pent-up frustration she’s the cause of. I didn’t want to give in to any craving for her because, for some unknown reason to me, Angie is different. I want to know her and help her when I don’t want to open myself up to anyone. I could see her pain and worry and I want to be the man to fix it.
It’s a one and done, I remind myself again. Women who creep up into your head will fuck up your life. I learned that once already the hard way during my bull riding days. I don’t need to catch the lesson a second time. Best to remember what’s important—my momma, the trucking business, and the club.
5
Angie
I’ve spent the last three days on Jazzy’s couch, sicker than a dog. That makes think about Lucky and I chuckle, but it also makes me a little sad. She was cute, but Cowboy is an asshole. I refused to talk about the ride here and focus on not hurling again.
“I’m worried about you, Ange. I’m not so sure it is a virus,” Jazzy comments from the doorway. She walks in and sits on the edge of the bed. “Don’t freak out, okay.”
“Everyone freaks out when you say don’t freak out, FYI.” I heave through the nausea.
She nods. “True. But listen and then freak out. Better?”
“These are terms I can agree to, go ahead.” I roll my hand to emphasize she can continue the discussion.
“I was talking to Abuela. She asked how you were, and I gave her a report. She wants you to take a pregnancy test.” Jazzy hurries and spits the words out at me.
“Nooooo, she didn’t. Tell me she did not say that!” I get up from the couch and start pacing the floor. “Every damn time she says anything, she’s right. Damn that woman for cursing me.” Bile raises in my throat. “No.” I gulp and try to hold it back, but it’s useless, and I’m darting across the hallway to the guest bathroom to heave.
Jazzy sets a washcloth on my neck. “I left a test on the counter. Just take it. I’ll be outside the door the whole time. Nausea isn’t your only symptom. You’ve been so sad too. I’ve never seen you cry before, Ange, and I’ve met your parents. It would take something huge to make you cry.”
“I’m upset over the absolute bad luck I’ve had, woman. Fine. You want me to take it, you stay with me the whole damn time. You’re in this with me a hundred percent. Then we will prove who’s wrong.”
“Um, awkward, but okay.” She sits on the tub and starts telling me about her day at the tattoo shop and the piece she’s been working on. I let her babble while I open the box and drop my leggings to the floor. I try not to panic. I’ve never had a pregnancy scare before and have never done this. Beads of sweat coat my forehead and my hand shakes while I pee on the stick.
I cap the end and slide the test onto the counter while I pull up my pants then wash my hands. Taking in a lungful of air, I release it slowly and turn to my best friend while she finishes telling me about this dragon tattoo. Seconds later, she looks at the time on her phone. “You want me to look?”
“No.” Slowly, I turn and two pink lines confirm the fact I am pregnant. My vison goes blurry and my lungs seize. I make myself take in air and I gasp, “Jazz, I don’t know who the dad is.” Literally, I don’t know how far along I am and there have been several nights with men. This fact dumps a whole other load of shit on my back, and the weight wants to break me like a twig. When is enough, enough?
“That’s okay. I’ll be the surrogate daddy. You know I will always have your back. But in the meantime, can we narrow down the suspects?”
“Really, I don’t know. There have been a handful of men. I never asked them what their names were. I . . . ah . . . I don’t want to tell you this.” I hold my hands over my cheeks.
“I get it. You’ve been playing around with random guys and don’t know how to reach them,” she adds in for me. “We can try searching online. Oh, we can get Kat to help us!”
I shake my head. “Jazz, I never wanted kids, or at least didn’t think it would happen for me. I don’t want to be a contestant in the Jerry Springer drama. This is bad,” I groan. My heart wants to give in and run away from all of this.
“When was your last period?” she asks.
I think about it and roll over life events to figure out the timeline until one sticks out. “Right before your party.” My eyes bug out, the feeling of fainting and puking overwhelming, except I don’t know which one to do first.
“What is it?” she prods excitedly. “Or whose is it?”
“It could be Cowboy’s baby.”
“Oh, holy motherfucking-fuck-fuck.” She bounces up and the happy excitement on her face isn’t fair. I want to be excited, or at least I should want to be. My heart is so confused, and I tell myself, well, you did it to yourself, ya know.
I snort a reply at first, but the sudden urge to cry takes over the laughter that started and I do this ugly cry thing instead. “What is wrong with me? I used to be so badass, now I cry?” I wipe the errant tear away.
“Let’s sit on this, okay? We don’t have to tell anyone. Let’s make an appointment with the doctor before anything else. Then, after everything is cool and we’re sure, we’ll tell Cowboy together.”
“I love you, bitch, even if that sounds weird.”
“It really does, doesn’t it? I would do it for you. Don’t worry, we will figure this all out. First, we’re finding you a place to live and then move the rest of your shit here.”
“What?” I’m so shocked that I’m not even thinking about the life-a
ltering news from just seconds ago.
“Yep. You need support. I’m your person. Don’t worry about a thing. I’m going to take care of you. All I have to do is get your stuff here first.” Jazzy walks out of the bathroom, typing on her phone. “Don’t bitch either, this is happening. You can stay here and save money until your life balances itself out. You’ll see, just let me do this.”
I trail behind as she rambles on some more and once she’s quiet, I get a word in. “I love you. You’re my sister by another mister, you know that?”
“Of course. We made a blood pact, and there is no coming out of those, ever.”
“I would hug you, but I can only be so soft in one day.” Instead, I poke her shoulder.
“Noted.” She pokes back. “Who was there for me the last few years? You.”
As excited as I am that she has taken me in and helped, because there’s no one else on this earth I would trust, the residual fear of telling Cowboy he could be the father looms over me. Also, would I be any good as a mom? Mine was an incubator. I hope it comes naturally because there is no taking back what has happened. Some nights change our lives. We don’t intend for the dominos to fall, but once they have, there’s no telling where they will land. It’s the unknown that scares me so much.
6
Cowboy
I’ve been on the road for what feels like a week, haulin’ all over California, when I’m called into a spot I never believed I would return to again. My old Prez from Ely, Nevada, calls my cell. It takes me a second to get over the shock of seeing his name. I grew up in Ely as a kid on a ranch and bull riding was my pastime for years. My best friend grew up on the ranch next to ours, which was five miles away. There wasn’t a day we didn’t meet up after chores. We rode bulls in rodeos together until we both prospected for the local MC there, the Silver Creek MC.
“Can’t say I’m not surprised as hell to hear from you, Angus.”
“Hey, boy,” the old Prez starts with a wheeze in his voice, then coughs. “I need ya to come home for a weekend.”
Shit, this can’t be good. He’s been battling the bottle and cigarettes for years. My guess is the lung cancer is about to pull him under.
“I’ll see what I can do to get to you when I can. Hang in there. You’re too fuckin’ stubborn to go out easily.”
His dry laugh echoes through the phone. “You could teach us about being stubborn, kid. See ya soon.” I didn’t leave because I wanted to, I needed to, and he respected it. Still, not being there for him these past five years aches somethin’ fierce. He’s a good man and he ran a clean crew. Not like what we run now. The whole ride back to Reno, I can’t help but feel the sting of the past creep up on me like an old bitter mistress.
Once my boots hit the dirt outside of the clubhouse, Lucky springs out from behind me and takes off out back for a run. Walking through the building, a sense of home washes over me. My life is settled and running back into the past fills me with dread. At the bar, Blade, our Prez, and his Ol’ Lady are deep in discussion. Vegas holds her newborn baby girl, Adelina, while their twin boys play on the floor together, wrestling around.
My whole life growing up, I pictured my life just like I had with my dad, full with kids running around, being a rancher and driving truck. Every choice I made seemed to pull me further away from that life. As time passed, the more I got used to the idea that a family and the cowboy life wasn’t for me. Watching those boys wrestle down on the floor brings back memories. The rawness in my heart is new, a sensation I haven’t felt before. It’s a glaring reality of what I can’t have, a family. I left my regrets back in Ely with that bitch and my best friend. One night, one rodeo, and shit changed in the blink of an eye for me.
I shake my head to get back in the now. “Hey, Prez, I need to take a vacation and head back home.”
Blade kisses his baby on her head and points to his office. Fuck, I inwardly groan. I wanted a clean break. All these changes around here are good, don’t get me wrong, but these guys are a bunch of nosy assholes.
Walking in, we halt temporarily. “What the fuck?” Prez shouts, seeing Axl in his chair with his feet propped up on the desk. With his hands behind his head, he’s out cold, taking a nap. Axl snores loudly at Prez’s outburst and doesn’t flinch. Blade grabs his boots and tosses them to the floor. It’s funny watching it happen to Axl, but it wasn’t so funny when he did it to me a week ago.
Axl’s hands fly up to steady the world. His eyes bulge before he balances himself on the desk in front of him. “Dude, I haven’t slept in days. I was waiting for you and I must have fallen asleep.” He rubs his eyes with his palms. “Maddy is sick and killing me, man. How does something so little kill a man? It’s the worst torture.” He looks up and yawns. “What’s going on with you?”
Blade stands in front of him and waits for him to move. Axl squints up and huffs before he moves to the other office chair. “I need to head home for a week and check on things.”
“What things, Cowboy?” Blade questions. “Does it have to do with your old club?”
“Not exactly. I think Angus is on his last ride and is making calls, if you know what I’m sayin’. I need to go pay the man my respects. If I’m not needed there, I’ll be back sooner. Just estimating a week. Do I have any runs that can’t wait? If so, I’ll get them done before I leave.” I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from rambling out more than I want. I’ve buried my regrets deep down, and one was leaving Angus behind. It’s never easy saying goodbye, but it’s even harder when it’s for good.
“Shit.” Axl exhales. “Wish there was more I could do or say, but you need to go. I’m sure whatever needs done can wait.”
Blade dips his chin. “We got you covered here while you’re gone.”
“Can you guys watch Lucky while I’m gone? I don’t know what will be going on and it would be easier to leave her here.” The words twist in my gut and it’s the old trucker in me that hates to leave behind my lucky charm. Once again, I shake off the thoughts and man up.
“Vegas and the kids will love to keep her. Don’t worry about it, she gets along with Tugger, too.” Blade’s lip lifts and he fails at holding back a smirk. Their dog likes my girl a little too much. “He’s fixed, asshole, don’t worry about it.”
“See ya’ll, it’s time this cowboy hits the trail.” I tilt my hat and whistle for Lucky. I give her a pat on the head and tell her to sit and stay with Blade. She walks over to him and sits at his side. I don’t want to leave her here, but I give them my back and head out. In my room, I grab a duffle bag and stuff in what I need. One last check, and I can’t pinpoint it, but it feels as if I’m leaving something behind. Right now, it doesn’t make sense. So much has happened today. I felt like the luckiest bastard this morning, and now I’m the most confused. It’s as if I’m on the verge of change and it has my gut unsettled. I’m leaving a piece of me behind and it’s hard for me to pinpoint what or who it is.
7
Angie
Staring straight ahead, the cursor blinks at me. I focus on that and not the pit of despair I feel in my stomach. “What am I going to do?” I mumble, shaking my head. For the last couple of years, I worked at the shop and did my classes online. At the shop Jazzy worked in, there was a chair available and I got the spot. Finally, I had a win, but this has my heart in pieces.
Since I was in grade school, I wanted to be a nurse. My parents wanted me to be a doctor since I had no interest in the corporate world, and I mentioned nursing schools as an alternative. Being a nurse wasn’t good enough in their eyes. It’s a huge part of the reason we hardly ever talk anymore. Everything has strings and their money or help costs me too much, mainly my happiness. I paid to go to beauty school and worked at the salon while I was paying my own way through nursing school.
“What is it?” Jazzy scoots onto the kitchen stool next to me. She blows on her coffee and reads the screen on the laptop. She squints her eyes, trying to decern the problem I’m experiencing.
“
I can’t do it. I can only work a max of twenty-five hours per week while I finish my degree. I’m so screwed. For one, how am I going to pay for rent and school only working part-time? Even that is pushing it with how much time I need to study. Not to mention the baby that’s coming. I can’t take all of that time off—alone. And did I mention alone? Even if I could manage the bills, I have no car, and I’ll have a baby in six months. The baby won’t even know who I am because I’ll never be home.” My heart wants to explode from my chest with sadness. I was so close to proving my parents wrong. My lip trembles and a lone tear teeters on my lower lash.
Jazzy gives me an incredulous look. “Angie, did you call your parents?” My hesitation to answer says it all. I did and it was gruesome. “What happened?”
“I called them both at the same time. Thought may as well get the worst over with. My parents were disgusted I didn’t know who the baby’s father was. It was pretty bad, then my parents and I hung up with an understanding. My lifestyle, with my choices, they want nothing to do with me and I felt the same. They thought I wanted money and help. Jazz, I just wanted my parents.” I feel the anguish at the harsh reality of what I have always been to them—an inconvenience. It stung more than ever because for the first time, in a long time, I poured my heart out to them. The only difference is now I’m older and can accept the truth. It doesn’t take away my fight to want to prove them wrong though. If anything, I want to beat them with my success.
She sets her cup down and dedicates her smart ass to me. “Those people will get theirs. Hand to god, they have to be the most miserable people on this earth. You know not everyone is like that, right?”
Twisted Steel: An MC Anthology: Second Edition Page 62