The Lavender Menace

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by Tom Cardamone


  The Eagle caught up with me and made to grab me until he saw what I was looking at. Without a word, he disregarded me completely and flew to the top of the building to rescue some of the people from the roof.

  I seized the opportunity to escape, racing around to the other side of the building. This would keep him occupied for at least five or ten minutes, and by then I would be long gone.

  What I didn’t count on was seeing two small children in a third floor window, just one floor above the raging fire. They were the only figures I could see; everyone else was on the roof or on the top floor and they’d been left behind. Their window was open and they were sitting on the windowsill—maybe because the floor had grown too hot to stand on—and they weren’t crying or calling out. They looked stunned and very scared.

  I set my ill-gotten gains down on the grimy alley floor and activated the Infinity Lenses. It took a full ten seconds to create a portal large enough to step through and another ten to open another in what I hoped would be the room they were in. It was hard to judge teleportation without a clear view of where you were headed.

  I ended up a few feet off the floor and landed with a bit of a thump behind the children, startling them. The little boy leaned away from me, instinctively, and my heart jumped as I pictured him falling out of the open window. Luckily, his sister caught hold of his t-shirt before he fell, and I was able to cover the distance between us and scoop them up safely in my arms.

  The floor was hot—I could even feel it through my armor—and the air in the room was very thin, most of the oxygen having been consumed by the encroaching fire. Holding them firmly, despite their feeble squirming to try and get away—I was an infamous super villain, remember—I headed back through the portal and stepped out in the alleyway again.

  Rain had started to fall. The Eagle’s teammate, Elementra, had arrived on the scene, hovering atop the building resplendent in her blue, flowing cape and long, black hair, arms outstretched; she was summoning a downpour to try and keep the flames from spreading to the neighboring buildings while he evacuated the last of the residents. The Eagle landed and leaned a very groggy man against a parked car. The man was barely conscious after being trapped in smoke for too long, and was calling out for his children.

  I walked to the end of the alleyway and crouched to set the children down. They were still a little unsteady, but I aimed them in the direction of the crowd and hoped they could get there on their own. I shouldn’t have worried; as soon as I set them down, they mustered the energy to race away from me and toward their father, who was overjoyed to see them.

  The Eagle turned and saw the children, then looked directly at me, still kneeling, watching the reunion. Face flushed, I darted back into the alley to retrieve my loot, and he took off in pursuit after me.

  I somersaulted up onto a parked car and bounced off onto a fire escape, making my way to the roof. Elementra’s rainstorm had intensified. I thought the heavy rain might make it easier to elude The Eagle, but it turned out to mess up my vision just about as much as his. It was tougher to make things out by heat signature with the rain cooling everything down.

  The second I made it to the top, I heard a high-pitched shriek and felt a shockwave that knocked me roughly to the tar and gravel roof. I tumbled forward, awkwardly at first, then managing to get my footing to turn the motion into a controlled roll. I’d forgotten about the Eagle’s sonic screech; he rarely used it unless he needed to put someone down at a distance. He was much more of a hand-to-hand kind of guy.

  He was playing rough tonight.

  I realized with dismay that the jewelry bags had fallen from my hands when I’d been hit, and The Eagle had snatched them out of the air and set them on the rooftop. He’d return the stolen necklaces, rings and tiaras after the fight, but that was apparently a secondary concern.

  I stayed face down, letting him think he’d knocked me out, and let him have it with a shadow blast from my Infinity Lenses when he got in range.

  He staggered back, but I only had a few seconds to get to my feet before he came at me again. This time I threw a punch, but he met me with a concise judo move—our bodies pressed up against each other momentarily before he pulled me past him, where I slammed hard into a slim tree trunk.

  A tree trunk?

  The space was set up as a rooftop garden, with potted trees and decorative grasses and even rows of vegetables. It had not been tended too carefully, and was pretty overgrown, but it was thriving nonetheless; it looked like a little wilderness in the heart of the city.

  That was the setting for our dance, the way heroes and villains dance. Throwing punches, ducking, weaving, using our super powers to our advantage when we could. As silly as it sounds, after that initial impact with the tree, we started to take special care not to injure any of the plants. Someone had gone to the trouble to set all this up, and it seemed wrong to destroy it.

  But it had been a long night already, and both of us were getting tired. Sometimes I’d see an opening and have to give him a jab to get his mind back in the game. Other times he’d catch me getting a little too cocky and would give me a taste of the same thing.

  The rain was still pouring down, and we were breathing hard with all the exertion, light steam coming off of our bodies. Our costumes were in shreds. The bobbing and weaving and sparring soon gave way to more clenches and wrestling—we were pretty evenly matched in the strength department—and soon we were face to face.

  And then, we were kissing.

  I don’t know who started it—maybe we met in the middle. But it surprised me, this fierce passion that took hold of me, channeling all the fury from our battle into stoking a long-suppressed desire.

  We broke the kiss and I studied his face. I released him momentarily, trying to give him an “out,” a way that he could pretend that this was all my idea and put a stop to it, but he didn’t take it. In a flash, we were all over each other again, stripping away the tattered costumes preventing us from pressing our bodies closer together, devouring each new bit of exposed skin to fill our boundless hunger.

  All at once he was on top of me, my legs encircling him, his aim unmistakable. He hesitated for just a moment, giving me an opportunity to put a stop to it all, as well. Instead, I held his body tightly and bit into his shoulder to give him a little bit of the pain that I felt as he entered me—pain that gave way quickly to pleasure for us both.

  The autumn rain pelted us, up there on that roof, animals lost in an urban jungle.

  You’re a half-hour late.

  The mayor is doing his best to entertain the crowd that’s filled the bleachers to capacity and spilled down the city streets in every direction, but he’s never been that good at impromptu public speaking and you can tell he’s uncomfortable without his script. The election’s coming up, and of course he was banking on this as a way to associate himself more closely with you to get more votes. This isn’t about honoring you and your contributions as much it’s about getting a good campaign video.

  God, I hope he gets caught in the blast, too, the pompous windbag.

  “The Eagle is a little held up,” the Mayor continues, “Doing what he does best, helping the citizens of this fair city!” He waits for the audience to cheer at that, but they’re reaching the limits of their patience and getting restless. Some of them have been here for over three hours, in the rain, and they are starting to worry that maybe you won’t even show up. What if you’re locked in battle with your arch enemy, Eclipse, and can’t get away? What if you’ve gone on another cosmic adventure with the Justice Alliance and aren’t even in this solar system?

  I peek down at the crowd, and see one of the poncho-and-sunglasses-wearing security detail standing off to the side of the stage, near the podium. He’s looking down at the pavement and speaking into a wireless headset, calling in some kind of an issue while the event continues as normal all around
him.

  To my relief, he pulls two teenagers out from under the stage, where they’d been hiding, thinking they’d have the perfect front-row seat to see you. He hasn’t seen any sign of my plan.

  The waiting is killing me. Hurry up and get here to get what you deserve.

  “So what do you think?” I asked tentatively, waiting and watching for his reaction. We stood on the same rooftop a week later with nothing standing between us: no sarcasm, no irony, no jokes to deflect the enormity of what was happening. And there were no Infinity Lenses blocking him from looking into my eyes and seeing that I was telling the truth. Every instinct told me not to face him without wearing them—without the Lenses I’m powerless—but I needed to show him that I was serious.

  I’d contacted him through official Justice Alliance channels to arrange the meeting; their number was right there on the website and I couldn’t think of any other way to reach him. To say he was surprised to hear from me would be an understatement.

  “Um… would you tell him that Eclipse is on the line and would like to speak with him?” Surreal. He actually got on the phone with me, and I’m pretty sure he didn’t have the call recorded because he was afraid I’d say something incriminating. I told him to meet me at the rooftop garden that night at midnight. There wouldn’t be any fighting, and I wanted it to just be him and me.

  So here we were, and I had just suggested that I would be willing to walk away from my old life to be with him. Floated the idea. What if I did that? What kind of possibilities would there be for us? I was sick of all the flirtation and subtext and assumptions; I just wanted to get it all out in the open.

  The Eagle mulled over the situation, and I could tell that he felt that I’d put him in an awkward spot. He had rules he had to follow, and they didn’t include starting a relationship with his archenemy, even if that archenemy suggested that he’d give up his life of villainy and work for the other side. He’d enjoyed the flirtation and the excitement, doing something that he knew he shouldn’t be doing, for a change, but this was entirely too real.

  There have been a few transitions from villainy to heroism in the past. Some stick, but most don’t. Doctor Magnetic suffered some awful near-death experience which was followed by a period of sympathy, and then he got to transition into being one of the “good guys.” Not me, I just made the leap. I leapt off a twenty-story building without a grappling line, sure there’d be a flagpole or awning or utility cable to keep me from falling to my death. I’d been fearless.

  Bullshit, of course. It was easy to leap when I thought The Eagle would swoop down and catch me.

  He leaned in and took my hand in his, looking directly into my eyes. My heart sank when I saw the mix of sadness and pity in his eyes. I was so stunned that I barely noticed when he attached the handcuffs to my wrist and took the Lenses out of my grasp. The roar of police helicopters preceded them coming up over the sides of the building, spotlights fixed on us.

  Handcuffs. Jail. Twenty-one hours of my freedom lost before the remote teleportation node implanted behind my ear had powered up enough to function, allowing me to return to my lair.

  Something had cautioned me not to wear the real Infinity Lenses, to hope for the best, but to plan for this eventuality. As a result of that plan, The Eagle had instead confiscated a very stylish pair of prescription sunglasses and was probably studying them at Justice Alliance headquarters, trying to figure out how to make them work.

  I seethed for hours, barely able to think clearly, my head clouded with rage at The Eagle. As my anger cooled into steely resolve, the seed of a plan started growing in my brain. One final plan.

  “Hi everybody, sorry I’m late!” you say as you swoop in. You’re wearing that impractical ceremonial cape that you trot out for special occasions; it’s reminiscent of the first cape you wore, festooned with lustrous feathers but executed flawlessly, detailed with gold and silver. These things cost money, and there’s no sense in them getting ruined. You only wear this when you know there’s not going to be any fighting.

  Perfect.

  Even though you’re over an hour late, the crowd erupts in cheers. They’ll forgive you for anything. Even the weather seems to cut you some slack; the rain petered out slightly just before you arrived, and a sliver of sun is threatening to peek out from behind the dark clouds any moment to light up the event.

  The people in the press box are delivering a collective sigh of relief at your arrival and the turn in the weather. They’re adjusting their zoom lenses, taking practice shots of you to get the perfect focus and exposure, preparing to capture the big moment.

  I watch you descend to the podium, hovering next to the smiling Mayor and looking out into the sea of adoring faces. You’re saying something, but my heart is racing and I can’t think of anything except what’s about to happen. An aide is scurrying up onto the stage holding a giant golden key prop, which he’ll hand to the Mayor to hand to you. All the camera flashes will be almost blinding.

  I only have a second to hesitate and ask myself… is this really what I want to do? Do you really deserve this for what you did to me?

  As you’re about to take hold of the key, I summon the portal and push my finger through, triggering the device.

  There’s a loud crackling noise and, for just a split second, the stage is engulfed in a brilliant, blue light shooting up from the pavement, disintegrating the stage, the podium, your beautiful, ridiculous cape. The Mayor is standing close enough that he’s halfway in the blast, which is good enough for me. Despite pulling my finger back as fast as possible, I feel a sharp pain and then a prickling sensation on my finger before it goes completely numb.

  Tearing my eyes away from the scene below, I look at my finger, apprehensive. As I feared, the tip of the finger of my costume has been completely disintegrated, leaving my index finger intact but exposed. Goddamn it; gloves this sophisticated cost about two-thousand dollars to manufacture. Meanwhile, down on the stage, you’re floating in the air above a giant hole in the stage.

  Completely naked.

  The Mayor is nearby, one foot on the solid stage and the other over nothingness, only having avoided falling into the hole by grabbing onto his aide for balance. The clothes have been disintegrated from half of his body and are falling off on the other side.

  The flashbulbs go off, and at least one of us has our perfect photo op.

  It’s snowing. The weather has been getting warmer so it’s probably the last snowfall of the season, and it will only be seen here, high above the city. Down at ground level, it’s a misty rain, giving the streets a wet shine that reflects the brilliant red of car taillights and neon signs, washing away the dirt that’s built up over the winter.

  “It’s just so beautiful from up here,” Conduit murmurs to his patrol partner, who is floating in mid-air in front of him. Not being able to fly under his own power, he’s rarely been up this high, outside of a plane. “I can’t believe you see things from this perspective all the time.”

  “I’m glad I could share it with you,” The Eagle replies, floating in the air beside him and flashing him a smile.

  “So… you never caught him?” Conduit asks tentatively, crouching on the edge of the rooftop atop the highest skyscraper in the city. “If someone pulled a stunt like that on me, I don’t think I’d let him get away with it.”

  “He disappeared right after,” The Eagle answers, visibly uncomfortable at recalling the highly publicized events of last year. “Hasn’t been seen since. Frankly, with the kind of threats the Justice Alliance faces, pranks rate pretty low on the priority list.” He pauses a moment, then chuckles and has to follow up with, “Even ones as spectacular as that.”

  “It was pretty genius, wasn’t it?” Conduit laughs through his mask, before pulling it up far enough to expose his broad smile. “I didn’t want to say anything until I knew you had a sense of humor
about it, but you definitely have to give him credit.”

  Conduit, clad in a sleek, white bodysuit with blue accents, had burst on the scene a few months ago, operating solo. New as he was, he impressed hero and villain alike with his determination, ingenuity, and unwavering selflessness. He was one of the few heroes who’d ever turned down a Justice Alliance membership invitation, saying that it was still too soon and that he still had some things to work out on his own before he joined any kind of team.

  A month ago, he’d finally relented and joined the team as a probationary member, and The Eagle had been assigned to be his mentor. They got along really well; Conduit had a twisted sense of humor and a playful, irreverent side that The Eagle appreciated. “So why did you take so long to join the Alliance?” The Eagle asks, taking a seat next to his partner. “I know I jumped at the chance when they offered membership to me.”

  “I just wanted to make sure I could do it on my own,” Conduit replies, his voice contemplative. “When I started out, I thought I was trying to be a hero just to please someone else, to live up to his standards. After he was out of the picture, I understood that what I wanted most was a change in my life, not necessarily the man who inspired the change.”

  “And my takeaway from all that is…” says The Eagle playfully, “…you’re single?”

  “You’re awful,” Conduit responds with a grin. “Is it really Justice Alliance policy for your mentor to constantly flirt with you?”

  The Eagle’s face reddens.

  “Relax,” Conduit laughs. “Sorry, I can’t help myself. You’re such an easy target.”

  “I never got to ask you,” The Eagle says, changing the subject. “How did you get your powers, anyway?”

 

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