Taking her hand, I brought her into the house. I paused and watched her as she looked around in confusion.
“What is all this?” she asked as she started forward, her fingers trailing along the bloodred roses in the vases.
“They’re for you,” I said, no longer able to keep the crooked smile from my face. I’d cleaned out every florist in a ten-mile radius. Every surface of the house was covered.
“Don’t you think you went a little overboard?” Wide-eyed with disbelief, she made her way through the house, following the trail of petals on the floor. From a distance, I followed. Watching her every move with utter fascination.
She was stunning. Beautiful inside and out. All the doubts and questions died right then and there. It didn’t matter how fast I was moving, it wasn’t fast enough.
Finally, she paused in my bathroom doorway. Head tipped, she looked over her shoulder at me. “Well, someone is set on seduction,” she said, and swallowed hard.
Whereas the rest of the house had roses everywhere, in the bathroom I had put dozens upon dozens of those battery-operated flicking candles. I’d wanted to use the real thing, but I was afraid of burning my house down while I waited for her to arrive.
Wetting my bottom lip, I stepped up behind her and slid my hands around her hips to hook in front of her. My eyes closed as I breathed her in. “Is it working?” I murmured into the hair above her ear.
“Oh too well,” she whispered.
“Good,” I whispered back.
Slowly, I spun her around, and she looped her arms around my neck. My lips nuzzled her as my hands worked at removing her clothes.
“Why do I feel like this is déjà vu?” Her words came out as a breathless gasp.
“Because that was the first night I think I knew you were different?”
She raised her arms to help me remove her shirt. For a second, I thought I saw tears glistening in the flickering lights. Then she closed her eyes and kissed me. After that, nothing mattered.
My clothes were quickly shed, and I lifted her into the tub after adding more hot water.
“I should’ve done this in the hot tub, then I wouldn’t have had to break the mood by adding water,” I muttered, feeling like I’d screwed it up. I’d wanted to use the tub because of that night. Kind of a reenactment.
“It’s perfect,” she choked out, voice full of emotion as I leaned her back against my chest.
She sat up and straddled my lap. I knew she could tell how hard I was, but she merely pressed into me with her heated core. Nothing more.
Trying to salvage my suave seduction plan, I lifted the bottle of her favorite wine that I’d opened to let breathe. Slowly I poured two glasses, then set the bottle back on the back platform of the massive tub and handed her one. But instead of taking it with the smile I expected, she burst into tears.
“Syd, baby. I knew something was wrong. Talk to me,” I said as I set the glasses to the side.
“I’m sorry. Being sick has made me emotional.” She sniffled as she bowed her head.
Damn, I hadn’t even thought that she might not want wine after being sick. Stupid move. “Are you finally going to see a doctor? You’ve been sick for a long time. That’s not normal.”
She gave a sarcastic-sounding laugh. “Well, that depends.”
“On?”
She shook her head dismissively. “It can wait. I want to enjoy this. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin everything.”
I inhaled deeply. Then I wished for a double shot of whiskey. Or two.
“So I found out that there was indeed a loophole for us to be together,” I cautiously started. After I’d disclosed my intentions, Simon had confirmed there was nothing they could say about us being together if it didn’t interfere with our professional side. He agreed to help me and Syd if they tried to find some bogus bullshit reason to let her go.
“Really?” She perked up a bit.
“Yeah,” I said, then bit my lip nervously. Okay, it wasn’t so much a loophole as it was what I realized I wanted. More than anything, I didn’t want to screw this up.
“How? What’s the mysterious loophole that you couldn’t tell me before?” Her eyebrows drew together as she waited expectantly.
“Well, it’s right here. I’ll let you take a look and tell me what your thoughts are,” I said as I reached over the edge of the tub, under the towels I had stacked and waiting. My hand came back with the ring on the end of my finger.
The facets on the stone caught the lights and sparkled like a million stars in the sky.
She gasped, staring from the ring to me, to the ring, to me again. “Oh my God, Alex, what are you doing?”
“Obviously a shitty job of it if you have to ask.” I winced. “Sydney? Will you marry me?”
She didn’t answer and my heart stuttered. It was the worst feeling in the world as the silence continued. Then she whispered, “You want to marry me so we can date?”
My head dropped for a moment, and I let out a short chuckle. “No. We can date all you want. There’s not a damn thing they can say. If they try, legal will back you. I want to marry you because I love you more than hockey. In case you haven’t figured it out, that’s a hell of a lot.”
She swallowed hard as she continued to stare at the ring, then she looked up at me, and her eyes glittered as much as the diamond. “How do you feel about starting a family, then?”
Confused as hell, I frowned. “Now? I’d rather not,” I said. “I thought you knew my thoughts on that. Especially after that situation with Hank Isaac.”
“No, I wasn’t sure, because you never really talked about it, Alex. You acted as if the entire thing never happened. I wasn’t sure if you had changed your mind after having that baby in your care for a week. So you don’t want kids?” she asked, putting me on the spot.
Unsure, I stuttered. “Well, I mean maybe someday, but not yet. I’m too young and I’m gone a lot. Now would be poor timing, I guess.”
Nodding in resignation, she stood, and water poured off her. The luscious curves of her body were lost on me as she grabbed the towel and started to dry off. “Well, I guess maybe you should’ve asked me how I felt about that. Maybe that’s something we should’ve discussed before you decided you wanted us to get married.”
“Syd?” It came out choked and worried.
“Alex, I’m sorry you feel that way, but you’re entitled to your feelings. Unfortunately, it’s out of our hands.” She dropped the towel and pulled her clothes on as I sat there in stunned silence.
For a moment she stared at her feet, then she looked up, and I saw the tears trailing down her cheeks. “I didn’t want to tell you like this, but I wasn’t expecting… everything.” She motioned wildly around. Still I sat there with my mind spinning and my mouth agape.
“I’m pregnant. I know it’s not what you want, so I’ll leave. I won’t expect you to be a part of his or her life, but I’m not getting rid of it. Even though I never thought an unplanned pregnancy could make me happy, I want this baby. I don’t want anything from you other than what’s fair. It’s not my intention to take you to the cleaners, but I do expect you to help me out. But only what’s expected. Nothing more,” she rambled as I sat there speechless.
Before I could shut my gaping fucking mouth, she was gone. When my mush for brains finally started to wake up, I jumped out of the tub, tracking water through my house as I rushed after her.
“Syd! Wait!” I shouted. “That came out wrong!”
Victor lay up on the top of his massive cat tree, glaring at me as if I was the world’s biggest fuckup. “I am,” I agreed.
Running by that time, I almost busted my ass on the tiles in the living room. It slowed me down enough that she burst through the front door and was in her car, backing out by the time I hit the front porch. As she drove off, I stood there watching her taillights disappear around the curve in the road, water dripping off me, and one hand holding the towel around my waist.
“Goddammit! Why
do we keep doing this shit?” I groaned. It was like a night of déjà vu moments. I’d started out trying to make it like the first night but better, but ended up screwing it up until she was racing off like the day I’d had Isaac dropped on me.
Speaking of which, she needed to understand a few things. She was right, I should’ve told her about how I’d acted tough after they took that baby away because it hurt and I didn’t know how to deal with it. I’d been an idiot. Again.
Determined not to let this stop me, I hurried back inside and dressed like my life depended on it. Tugging on boots, I grabbed my keys and wallet, then rushed out to the garage. I tugged on my helmet and climbed on the Ducati even though it was probably too cold for it. In that moment, I didn’t care. I needed to catch her.
Hauling ass down my road, I raced to her apartment. Except her car wasn’t there. “Fuck!” I shouted inside my helmet. Why the hell didn’t I call her instead of racing off after her? My brain had been useless since she stepped into my house.
After balancing my bike between my legs, I pulled out my phone. Dialing her number, I waited for her to answer. It went to voicemail. “Not again, goddammit. Syd, answer your fucking phone.”
Me: Syd please call me. I love you
Me: I fucked up
Me: I was stunned and stupid. Please call me
No replies came through, and they all showed as delivered but not read.
Repeated calls went unanswered. I decided to drive around looking for her, but I had no clue where to start. Randomly riding around, I finally gave up around midnight when I was almost out of gas.
As a last-ditch effort, I left her another message. “Sydney. Call me. We can work this out. But not if you don’t talk to me.” My voice had cracked, because the thought of losing her was worse than anything I’d experienced in my life—and a baby. Shit.
Then I returned home and parked in the garage and checked my phone. She hadn’t called back.
Before I went to bed, I left her at least two more messages asking her to call me.
I slept like shit. Wasn’t focused in the gym the next morning. Skated like absolute crap at practice. It sucked.
“Jesus, Kosinski. You don’t have a happy medium, do you?” McGregor said after we showered and were getting dressed.
“Not today,” I grunted.
Stupidity drove me to make one stop before I left the stadium for the day. After a good hour, I left feeling both like I might’ve pissed myself and yet happy. I’d had it out with her uncle and told him how I felt about her and what my intentions were. Simon now knew in no uncertain terms that I loved his niece and I’d do anything to protect her. He also knew if she’d have me, I was going to marry her. He’d agreed to help smooth the way with her parents if she agreed.
I didn’t say anything about the baby because it wasn’t my place. I wanted to but I’d refrained. Fuck, I wanted to scream it from the rooftops.
On my way home, I called her again. “Sydney. Please fucking call me,” I begged. “Or come to the game tomorrow night and we can talk afterward. Please. I love you. We can work this shit out. I need you. I want it all. You, the baby, everything. Just… call me.”
When I finished, I hung up. That’s when it dawned on me that she’d never returned the sentiment. Maybe this was more about the fact that she didn’t feel the same way than anything else.
Fuck.
Tuesday night, we skated out onto the ice for warm-ups, and I looked to the two season ticket holder seats I’d purchased for her. They were empty. I wasn’t sure what I expected. She’d pretty much said we were over and hadn’t replied to a single call or text. I didn’t understand. I’d left her messages saying we could figure everything out. I’d told her I loved her. I’d told her I wanted us to be a family. I’d begged. I’d even cried a little.
Jesus, I’d been reduced to a pussy-whipped asshole.
The first two periods were awful. We were ahead, but it was by the grace of God more than anything.
“Jesus Christ!” Coach shouted. “What the hell is this shit tonight?”
“What difference does it make? We’re still winning,” muttered Papadopoulos. We all froze, because if Coach’s face got any redder, he might have a stroke. He stalked over to Papa and stood with his arms crossed.
“What was that?” he ground out.
Papa held his tongue, thank fuck.
“Yes, I understand we are ahead, but by only one point. That’s nothing when we still have another period to play. The only reason we’re ahead is pure luck. We don’t win a Stanley Cup with luck, boys,” he said as he walked around looking at all of us one by one.
Tired and sweaty, we could only meet his gaze as he made the rounds. Especially because we knew he was right.
“This team is better than that. We win because we’re the best fucking team in the league. Do you hear me?”
Several of us agreed and nodded.
“I can’t hear you!”
“Yes!” roared through the locker room as we began to find newfound energy and drive. I wasn’t sure where it came from, other than none of us wanted to let Coach Soderberg down. He was a damn fine coach and had been an amazing player before he retired. As the youngest head coach in the league, he had a lot to prove, but he’d been doing a kickass job.
When we headed back out, it was with new determination.
As I neared the ice, I couldn’t help but glance at the direction of the seats I’d set up for her.
There was someone sitting there. Long dark hair under a team beanie made me pause. I’d convinced myself I’d never see her again.
She looked up and immediately stood. At first I thought she was running off again. Until she shocked the absolute shit out of me. She bent down, grabbed something, and quickly went down the steps to the boards. Then she slapped a poster board against the glass.
No way.
Instead of going to the bench like I knew I was supposed to, I quickly skated over toward her section. It was likely I might not play the rest of the game if Coach lost his shit, but I didn’t care.
Heart pounding harder than it had the entire first two periods, I came to a stop by the glass. Jerking off one of my gloves, I pounded on the glass. She peeked around the sign. With everyone around her going crazy because I was there, she smiled expectantly.
To anyone in the crowd, she was just another fangirl with a sign. If I had blown her off, it would be a situation of no harm, no foul. I couldn’t stop my laughter. The sign she held up read:
ALEX KOSINSKI—MARRY ME AND LET ME HAVE YOUR BABY
Incredulous that she was doing this, I glanced around at the crowd then back to her. I looked at her questioningly. I banged on the glass again.
“You mean that?” I yelled through the glass as I pointed to the sign.
It seemed like forever as I waited for her to respond, but I knew it had been mere seconds. She bit her lip and nodded.
I splayed my hand. She pressed hers to the opposite side of the glass. “I love you,” she mouthed.
“I love you! Wait for me after the game?” I shouted over the roaring of the crowd. She bit her lip, and I read teeming energy in every inch of her frame. My gaze remained locked to hers, and I waited—unable to breathe.
When a huge smile filled her face and she finally nodded, I grinned. The crowd’s screaming reached a massive roar.
“Get your ass where you belong or you’re gonna be in deep shit!” shouted Halvorson over my shoulder as he lightly cuffed me up against the head with his gloved hand. Taking one last glance at her smiling face, I grinned like an idiot and skated away with him.
“I guess congratulations are in order, huh?” he asked as we neared the bench.
“Yeah” was all I could get out. I was so fucking happy I couldn’t manage anything else.
“I wondered how long it was gonna take you to grow some balls. Well, I hope it was worth it.” He chuckled, and I gave him a confused look. Then, I looked up to see fire shooting from Coach’s
eyes.
Fucking hell.
“Drive”—Incubus
Fresh out of the shower, he came out of the locker room with his teammates. When he saw me, he ran toward me, dropped his bag, and scooped me up to spin me around. His smile was megawatt, and mine wasn’t much different.
“You asked me to marry you,” he said with a laugh.
“You said yes.”
“Fuck yeah, I did! You’re sure?”
I nodded as I bit my bottom lip, but it didn’t dim my grin one bit.
“I’m not sure if you ever got my messages, but I love you. I want it all—with you. I fucked up. I’m so sorry.” He hugged me tighter.
“I was emotional too. I should’ve stuck around to hash everything out. Natalie called my ass out for being a coward. She told me I needed to figure my shit out and go after what I wanted. I want you. I want this baby. I want us to be a family.” I cupped his cheek and brushed his beard with my fingertips.
“Deal. No take-backs. No more running off. From now on we work everything out together,” he insisted, and I nodded, fighting happy, emotional tears.
“Baby, I wasn’t prepared for what you told me, and my response was fucked. You caught me off guard, and I didn’t know what to say so I stumbled and fell flat on my face. I was an asshole. I screwed it up, and I’m so sorry.” He kissed me, and several of the guys who had stuck around started to whistle and catcall.
“Get a room!” someone said amidst the laughter and shouts.
My face flamed, and I buried it in his neck. It definitely hadn’t been a PG kiss.
“I don’t need a room, we have a whole fucking house!” he replied with a huge, devilish grin.
“Oh my God,” I gasped as I tried to hide my face, but he was having none of it.
“Let’s get the hell out of here. I never got to finish what I had planned on Sunday.” He led me out to his car and tossed his bag in back, then opened my door. Before I could get in, he stole another toe-curling kiss.
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