For the last few weeks, ever since Mom told me what we were, nothing was fun anymore.
I would start off with a two mile run at dawn, followed by a big breakfast of bacon, eggs, hash browns and toast. Then it was an hour of martial arts, an hour of kick boxing and another hour of weapons training. Lunch would follow after that and then the rest of the day was practicing with my sand. My mom was a drill sergeant straight from hell.
Sometimes I wished that the people would just find us, but the minute that thought formed into my head, I felt guilty. It would mean Mom would disappear. I couldn’t imagine life without her but I know I wouldn’t be able to survive in Revera knowing that Mom was trapped in the Oblivion, which is where they would take her when she was caught.
The plan was simple: when the men came, my mom would pretend she was my kidnapper. I didn’t look anything like her. Thanks to my father’s strong Asian complex that shone through me.
All of a sudden I didn’t want to think about that day anymore, so I closed my eyes and cleared my mind.
Since my Initiation dream, I hadn’t dreamt of anything else. Mom couldn’t explain to me who Leigh was either. Light Casters, that young, wouldn’t be able to go to the Oblivion, unless they belonged there – and judging by Leigh’s golden sand, he was no Shadow Caster.
What he meant by me being able to choose, could only mean one thing: I could become a Light Caster. But why would my mother tell me that there was no grey area? That you are what you are?
In my case I was both. Dad was a Light Caster, a Level Four, as mom had said, which was the highest level Dream Casters could achieve, unless you were one of the Somniums —and Selene was the last one.
When my eyes opened again, the sun had started to set. It didn’t matter whether it was light or dark, my mom would still carry on with training. At least I wasn’t as tired as I’d been a couple of hours ago. I thought about just lying in bed, pretending to be asleep but then her voice jumped into my head, explaining how important all this was going to be if I was going to survive in Revera. I had no choice.
I rolled off my bed, and got up. My body felt stronger from training day and night, the muscles in my arms and stomach had started to cut nicely. I didn’t look like a dancer anymore, but more like some sort of gym junky.
I opened my door and the smell of meat filled my nostrils. Ahhh. Stew.
Mom paraded in between the pot on the stove to the cupboard, with a glass of whiskey in her hand while music played softly in the background. I’d never seen her drink so much in my entire life, but then again, I never knew my mother was such a badass too.
She looked over her shoulder as I entered, and gave me a loving smile. “Good, you’re awake. Hungry?”
“Starving,” I said.
“Grab the plates, food is almost ready.”
I did as she told and picked up two plates and placed them on the counter by the gas stove.
In a couple of minutes both plates were filled with a heap of rice and stew covering the entire plate. Another thing that had change ever since I started with this intense training was my appetite. I’d never eaten this much in my entire life. You’d think I’d have picked up a couple of pounds, but it was just the opposite. I’d shed a couple of pounds and all I picked up was muscle, lean and strong. I couldn’t wait for the beach.
My mother took my hand and closed her eyes.
“Father, bless our food which we are about to eat and although we know that danger is near, keep us safe, Amen.”
I opened my eyes. “Bon appétit.”
“It looks delicious.” I sounded ravenous and started to dig in.
Mom just stared at me as I shoved lumps of food into my mouth every five seconds.
“Easy tiger, the food isn’t going to run off your plate.”
Her comment made me giggle as I imagined grains of rice and blocks of beef growing little legs and running off my plate. “I’m just so hungry.”
“Then eat more fruit, Chastity.”
“Bleh.”
Mom shook her head. “You are the only teenager I know that doesn’t like fruit. Everyone else loves at least two or three different kinds.”
“Not my thing. I hate the sweet taste they carry.”
“It’s healthy sugar which your body needs too.”
“Chocolates are also healthy.”
Mom rolled her eyes, it made her look ten times younger than she was.
“Can you at least tell me what I’m going to go through when they come?”
“I told you before, you act like you don’t know me, act scared, like I put you through hell.”
“Mom, you are putting me through hell.”
Mom chucked her napkin at me. “Not that kind. Like I just kept you here against your free will.” I gave her a raised eyebrow look. “Don’t comment on that, please.”
I laughed.
“I wasn’t talking about that. I mean, tell me about Revera.”
She put down her knife and fork and leaned back in her chair.
“The small bit I saw of Revera was breathtaking. Your father used to tell me that anything was possible, it’s a place where dreams come true.”
“It sounds like Hollywood.”
Mom laughed again.
“Not that kind. The kind that makes your dreams literally come true. Light Casters have the ability to wield their own happiness.”
“Then why did you guys leave?”
“Because the love we shared wasn’t allowed in Revera. Even if I stopped, one Shadow Caster inside Revera would destroy it completely the way Magdalena almost did so many years ago.”
“That is so unfair. I mean, you guys didn’t choose to love one another, it just happened. Sometimes I don’t know if I want to go to Revera.”
“And live a life running from them? It’s not the kind of life I want for you, Chastity.”
Silence filled the dining room for a few minutes.
“How many will come, Mom?”
“I don’t know. It won’t be the two from before and I’ll have to disguise myself as I’m sure Beavis and Butthead already told Selene about you and that you got away. It would be a team of elite Pursuers, and they usually travel in groups of about five, maybe six.” She took a deep breath and smiled softly. “Your father used to be the leader of his team. They would go on many missions and quests for Selene. When guardians graduate, they have to prove themselves first so they get to guard the edge of Revera, all the escape routes, be on guard and watch out for Shadow Casters that try to enter Revera. It’s not easy but now and then they would find a way.”
“How did you and Dad meet then, if your love wasn’t allowed?”
A soft smile broke on her face. “It wasn’t always easy but your father used to wield a place. It didn’t hold very long, only a couple of hours or so.”
“A couple of hours or so?”
Vinique laughed. “You haven’t been in love yet, sweetheart. So a couple of hours feels like nothing if it’s spent with the person you love.”
I felt sorry for her. She really hadn’t had a chance at all to be with Dad and be truly happy. To think that he’d given up his life so that his family could escape.
“You never even got a real chance with him, did you?” I spoke softly.
Mom just smiled. “I did. You. You are in so many ways like him. Smart, stubborn and you follow your gut, not to mention you inherited his humor and the ability to say exactly what’s on your mind.”
“That’s from him? I thought it came from you.”
We both laughed and finished our meal. As I finished my glass of Coke, Mom put the dirty plates in the dishwasher.
“You ready?”
I got up and walked to the kitchen. “I probably don’t have a choice, so yes, I’m ready.”
Mom grabbed me playfully with her arm around the neck. “If only your will was connected to that mouth of yours, this would’ve been so much easier.”
We practiced till late that night. I tried so hard, but the only th
ing that appeared were the two lines. It was followed by plenty of tries and plenty of frustrated grunts. I really wanted to do this, but for some reason I just couldn’t get the picture that was inside my head to appear from my golden sand.
Mom glanced at her watch and sighed. “I think it’s time to do our runs, make sure the shield is holding, and call it a night.”
I looked with worried eyes at her. “How much do we still have?”
“Not a lot, enough to last at least another day or two, three at the most.”
“Then I should try a couple of times more, Mom.”
“You’re tired, Chas. It shows in your sand.”
My gaze snapped to my sand. It still looked like sand and still had that light, brownish gold color.
Mom giggled and gently lifted up my chin to look at her. “You’re producing less and less. Take it from me, you need your rest. Tomorrow is a new day.”
“Can we try something else, tomorrow?”
“Sure, what do you suggest?”
“Instead of drilling me like Major Pain, can we start with this, and finish with the physical stuff?”
Mom squinted, her eyebrows knitted together as she took in what I suggested. “That might be a good idea.”
We walked back to the cabin to get Dad’s sand that was hidden inside the gold and green bag.
Once Mom had slipped on her gloves, since the dust would turn black if she made physical contact with it, she gave a tiny bit to me. I couldn’t stop looking at the last piece of magic coming from my father. It was like pure gold and glistened inside my palm as the light from inside hit the small specks at the right angle. It was so beautiful. I cupped it safely with my other hand, careful not to lose one speck, and went back outside.
The perimeter was all around the cabin. About five feet from the cabin were small pot-like objects which contained a little bit of dust. I started re-filling them and Mom did the same, starting from the back of the cabin until all the pots were filled. I still had a bit left and placed it gently inside the green bag again.
“Why wouldn’t my sand work?”
“It’s not powerful enough yet, sweetheart. But it will be, one day.” She smiled and wrapped her arms around me again. I could hear Mom’s heartbeat. It was steady, familiar and it made me feel safe. I couldn’t imagine what life without her would be like, not to mention spending it in another world, one where make believe still existed.
“Go, take a bath and sleep. You need your strength for tomorrow.”
I planted a goodnight kiss on Mom’s cheek and ran up the stairs. The cabin sure was a magical one. When Mom mentioned that we were going to train with weapons and learn how to do kata’s and other phrases I didn’t even know how to spell, I had no idea where we were going to find the space to do it.
Mom refused to go into the forest, behind the shield and there wasn’t enough space to learn all this inside, or so I’d thought. But when she threw some of Dad’s sand and said a small incantation, another thing I’d never heard her speak before, a door appeared right in the wall.
When I opened it, everything we needed was right in front of me. It almost reminded me of the gym at school. There was a track, which I used for running two miles every morning, and a lot of targets and weapons hanging against the wall. A blue mat where Mom taught me how to punch and kick took up most of the space in the inside of the track. Bright lights lit everything up and three ropes dangled from the roof where we became well acquainted as I was drilled up and down them.
I remembered how my mouth gaped and my mother had to literally closed it for me. If there was one thing I’d learned that night, it was how powerful Dad’s sand truly was.
I imagined night after night what kind of life we would’ve had if he was still alive. Would we still have been on the run now, or would he have protected us from this life? I would probably never have known who I was.
If my father was like my mother, trying to keep Revera away from me and vice versa, he would’ve done everything in his power to keep us shielded, just like Mom did now.
Tim started phoning a couple of days ago. Mom just gave me a worried look. “The dummy disappeared,” she said. It was all she said. She’d had to do what was necessary to keep him safe so she never answered any of his calls. He must be going crazy with worry at this stage, probably thinking she’d left him after nobody found me. I thought that it would be a wonderful experience since I wasn’t a big fan, but felt quite sorry for the big guy. He might not have loved me very much, but I knew he adored my mother.
After the bath I crawled straight underneath the covers and switched off the nightlight. The stars shined brightly through the window and the moon lit up the lower part of my bed. It sure was peaceful here in the cabin Dad owned. I wondered if Revera was in the sky like the books and movies about Sandman explained.
I closed my eyes and played with the tear-shaped pendant that was around my neck. I pictured my parents dancing a slow dance in the lounge right after he came to tuck me in. Okay, so maybe I would’ve been too old to be tucked-in, but it was something I’d never had from any male figure in my life. At least he’d have been here tonight. I imagine them kissing, even though it would’ve grossed me out, but it would’ve been what Mom needed, what I’m sure she still longed for. She would’ve been happy and wouldn’t have to pretend that I was enough.
Then I thought about Shades. I wasn’t there anymore to give her the daily bowl of milk and I hoped that she was fine. I really missed our strange conversations.
I closed my eyes and said a soft prayer and with that, fatigue washed over me and I fell asleep.
THE NEXT MORNING I DIDN’T START OFF WITH MY
two mile run after a bowl of muesli and berries topped with yogurt. I hated the berries but didn’t want to pick them out of the yogurt. So, I had no choice but to suck it up and eat them. My strategic plan was to close my nose and swallow it whole.
After breakfast we went straight to the back and started practicing on making the dagger appear out of my golden sand.
I’d seen Mom do it so many times. She didn’t even have to imagine it anymore. She just believed that it was there and it was.
She told me that the first time was the hardest. Once I saw and touched the weapon I wielded, the second and third became a lot easier and it carried on until it became like breathing. It had something to do with feeling the object you wielded contained. Once I felt it, I would know it was real and that it was possible.
I took a deep breath before I stared at the heap of sand right in front of me.
The picture of the dagger formed in my mind. I could see the silver blade glistening and the snakes around the hilt. I even managed to put a ruby inside the middle, just like the one Mom’s dagger had.
“You got it?” Mom whispered.
I nodded, holding on to that image.
“Now make yourself want it with everything in your ability, Chas. Think of a scenario where you might need it, a scene, even if it isn’t real and make it real inside your mind. Then conjure it.”
I never imagined it like that, and maybe Mom had something here. So I went deeper into my mind. I went back to the day Mom wanted to see my sand and focused on that awful burned down place that used to be a field with purple flowers. I found it faster than I thought I would. I breathed in the burned air and heard the crunch of the grass that was blackened underneath my shoes. The soft growl was right behind me. Slobber ran down my shoulder and I knew the Shadow Hound was hovering over me. He would be huge and I would feel helpless, but not this time. I had something to fight back with this time, I just needed to conjure the stupid dagger.
I turned around and found his drooling mouth inches from me. His teeth were big and his breath was foul. The black smoke behind him started to consume his body again, until the hound disappeared completely. The darkness crept forward, wanting to consume me. My heart didn’t bounce like a bird that was trapped inside a closed room anymore. It was ready, ready to be strong and fight
back, ready to trust my sand.
I wanted that dagger so much, I could see it, I could feel it and then I saw the heap of golden sand right next to my body. I looked at it for a fraction of a second and back at the hound.
Mom gasped and everything disappeared right in front of me. I was still in the backyard of the cabin, surrounded by huge trees.
I looked down at my sand and right in front of me, lying in my sand was the dagger, I couldn’t believe it. I ended up staring at it, the same way Mom was staring at it. I’d finally done it. I conjured the dagger out of my sand.
Mom picked up the dagger as if it was about to break into what it was made of, but it looked solid. It looked just like the one in my mind. It’s hilt had the ruby right in the middle with the two snakes twirling around it. The blade was silver. I touched it softly but pulled my finger back and put it quickly into my mouth. It was flaming sharp and a small cut with blood oozing out of it was evidence that the dagger was real.
“You did it!” Mom yelled with excitement as she enfolded me with both her arms.
“I freak’n did it. It’s so awesome. I told you this would work.”
“Yes, you did, smart ass. Now go hit the track.”
My face fell. “Really?”
“Track, now.”
Loud music blared from the speakers as I ran my daily two miles. I was suited up with a device to count my steps, calorie loss, everything, as if I had to lose weight, but for some reason it was important to Mom, so I obliged.
Then after my two mile track it was rope climbing. I hated it in the beginning, it always felt as if my arms were going to break off afterward, but after doing this every day for the past few weeks, it had really become one of my favorite things to do. I climbed the rope like a tiger and once I touched the roof, I would slide down. My leather gloves protected me from the rope and Mom just looked at me as if I hadn’t just broke my own personal record of yesterday.
After rope-climbing it was a gazillion pushups and sit ups, working out my arms, abs and back. Lunges helped to get my legs stronger and getting my butt firm.
Then it was time to recite what I would say once they came.
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