Promising myself I’d never tell a soul I geared into the maid outfit finding it roomy. A highlight on the sleeve said I could get plus three to cleaning. I guess skills were a thing for hired help, or maybe it was a dungeon centric thing. I heard the clamor of armor from troops trying to find me and knew it was time to go.
An arched exit held a sign that read bear gibberish. I guessed that way would be a decent idea. My flight downward was on a spiral ramp without stairs. The gradual decline was enough to really let me run so I blasted down with a left lean to my body. My echoing footsteps drummed in my ears until I reached the bottom floor.
There was an opening with a door on each side of the rectangular. In the main areas all the cooking supplies were stacked high.
Those poor maids had to haul this stuff up a long way. I scanned trying to find where all this came from. There had to be an easier way to get all these goods down here. Hmm… I went to the left door and saw canned food without another exit. My trot to the right door revealed baskets of berries. Neither had another way in. Which meant all this food was hauled down the main spiral ramp, and I’d just trapped myself in a dead-end.
My grunt of irritation left me only one more option. The door behind stacked flour that was blocked. I would be able to drag the flour mostly back…
That was my play. For now anyway. I ran to the base of the flour and pushed the stack forward. The door opened revealing a liquor room with a desk. Perfect. I entered the small room and went to my knees. I dragged the stack of flour as close as I could. The three or four tries to get it closer failed. This would have to do. I closed the door and latched the interior lock.
I studied the room. The bottles on the three walls were dusty. The desk was mostly empty with a few invoices. The chair and height of the desk indicated it was clearly meant for a small black bear. Even I had to hunch in this room. I twisted my face, my eyes flickering around trying to find something that would benefit me. My mind kept screaming that there had to be something here I could use.
Commotion outside the room and in the storage area told me I was out of time. I went to hide behind the desk. My knee scraping something hard and out of place under the rug. There was shuffling from outside the door.
“This stuff is blocking the door,” a gruff voice said. “It’s too heavy.”
“Idiot!” A woman exclaimed. “If you, with all your rhinorc strength, can’t move the stack, no single human can.”
“Ah, smart! This is why you get paid the big bucks sergeant. What are in the other rooms?”
“Nothing, even sorted the berries to ensure he wasn’t hiding in a basket. This is a dead end so we head up and post a guard near the wet clothes. It's what the Cap would want,” the sergeant said. “Two rooms and he wasn't in either. We did our part, they will find him somewhere else. This is the worst for the poor workers.”
I heard the underling agreeing as their footfalls retreated up the spiraled ramp. Safe for the moment and stuck in a tiny closet I sighed at the fact I was trapped in a maids outfit. I did the rational thing, I ignored the trap door, and quietly pilfered a nice bottle of whiskey.
While I slurped the really strong delicious drink I kept glancing from the door to the trap door. I knew I was going to have to pick one eventually, and that would only be the start of my desperate attempt to get home.
CHAPTER 7
A final swig of whiskey had me stuffing the bottle into titty holders in my maid outfit. When I bent over to remove the rug the bottle spilled out and I caught the damn thing. Probably best if I set it down anyway. The covering was peeled back to reveal a trap door meant for a creature smaller than me.
Could I squeeze down the tight corridor? Probably. Did I want to? Hell no.
Unless... I walked over to a magical candle flickering on the wall in a holder. I snatched it off the resting spot so I could drop it down the tight exit.
I saw a few things that gave me hope. The confined laddered space was small, diving down thirty feet or so before opening up to a tunnel. There was no splash and the light continued to create a glow down below. Knowing I had a big decision to make I sat on the lip of the opening.
My blimp was still not in my core. Meaning that either Harmony had turned around mid-flight or… they hadn’t arrived yet. My understanding was they couldn't just flip a U-turn during portal travel. This also meant the moment they portaled out of slip space and above Thur, my blimp would despawn. I was sure they realized I was missing by this point. What could they do about it? Well, that was a whole different story.
While I glared down that hidden tunnel I had to figure out my plan. Like why go down the tunnel? What would the tunnel do to help me and could I trust it didn’t lead to another dead-end? Was the goal to hide until these guys vanished? What would Nicole do when our army returned minus a blimp?
These were just some of the questions I asked myself. The reality was I probably needed to make my own way home. That meant getting away from the forces above me and finding a portal city. Then jumping a few times to Thur until I made it home safe. Unless the Justicars decide I’m not worth it and bugger off.
In that case, staying put would be my best option. Pissing away the time in a tiny closet was… not me. I knew it might be smart to cower and hide for a week, but I hated the idea of shitting down a hidden trap door.
When I made up my mind to go exploring I knew I’d need to squeeze my body down the chute by holding in my breath to fit down. I really didn’t want to get stuck. The bonus was I was in a flimsy maid out, small victories.
I heard the shuffle of feet arriving in the storage area.
“He is not in the castle. That means whoever dropped from the blimp is behind that door,” a gruff voice all but shouted.
“But Cap, there is no -”
“There are scuff marks on the ground! You imbeciles. Get in there,” the captain demanded.
I sighed, the guy with half a brain finally showed up. Well, it was good while it lasted. I shimmied down the hatch, not even closing the lid. It wouldn’t slow them and I was forming a plan. Not a great plan, but a plan. The descent was tight, ever rung I bypassed resulted in me compressing my body. When I reached the bottom I fell the final ten feet, my feet smacking into a stone floor.
The crack of someone kicking the door above me echoed throughout the confined area. I frowned seeing I was in a square tunnel. I knew I was running out of time before I was going to get hounded. I grabbed the candle and ran down the tunnel to find a T intersection. I ran the other way, ensuring I didn’t pass under the opening I fell from.
My hurried feet found a Y intersection. A breeze from the left washed over my face. The cool wind smelt of forest and rain. Definitely the direction I wanted to go. But… I retreated back to the drop down. The sound of a lock being torn asunder told me they had gotten through with brute force.
“Get this gorram desk outta here!” the captain bellowed. I quickly placed the candle on the T intersection side and waited across from it.
“Cap, I won’t fit,” a voice said.
“No shit, you’re a rhinorc. Sergeant Bethany will go down, she made the mistake of not inspecting this room anyway,” the captain said.
“Cap, it could be an -”
“I’ll rip your wings off and stick you in hard labor for a dozen years if you don’t follow my orders, drop down there and apprehend the target,” the captain shouted.
The fairy grumbled, and the rhinorc cleared his throat. He said, “So Cap, who or what is the target?”
There was a smack. The rhinorc groaned and the sergeant said, “It’s a need to know, just because I made a mistake doesn’t mean you're anything other than a new recruit. Give this to my husband if I die.”
I heard the fluttering of wings head down the trap door chute. Well, this was war. Everyone had families, and everyone died at some point. I spawned a spear into my hand and waited, and waited some more.
“I'm stuck,” the fair
y grumbled. The sound of her try to shimmy down told me her efforts didn’t seem to be working. There was a lot of frustrated grunts added with scraping sounds. “Going to have to tuck my wings and just flipping fall.”
There was shriek so loud it echoed with sharp snaps. Sure enough, a fairy landed heavily on the floor in front of me with a thud. I saw her legs at horrible angles, her cries of pain were from between closed eyes.
“Healing you,” the captain said from above. “What do you see?”
I didn’t let her answer. I lunged forward with my meaty hand clamping her mouth closed. I dragged her away from where the others could see her. She fought my grasp but I snapped her neck with an empowered twist. Her fighting left her and I gently laid the body onto the stone floor.
The wash of healing magic hit her broken body without effect. A quick closing of her eyes was the only respect I paid. I looted her bag to find rations, water, a map, and a few coins bound tightly. Her small cloak over her back was pulled off. There was an organization of a trained warrior here. My fingers lifted the small sword off her body. Immediately I knew I would never fit this around my waist, it was perfect for my thigh though. I pulled her own blade out and removed her heart.
Three orbs filled her chest. I used her jerkin to clean them while hoping for a pet. I grumbled at the results, there was unfortunately no pet. There was air movement to aid in her scouting and a lightning spell. The last orb I was clueless on. The lightning replaced Kor for now since he was still on cooldown from dying.
While I looted the captain was screaming down at his sergeant. I checked my level. Holy hell. She must have been a high level because I saw 3327 on my score. Bonus. These mythic orbs and this gear was worth a pretty penny. This all told me I was indeed probably facing a Justicar army.
“Shit,” the captain bellowed. I guess he realized there indeed was a trap and he just sent his soldier to her death. “Gryff?”
His echoing voice caused my eyes to widen. That little shit Dib had indeed set me up. They knew it was me. No chance they pulled off the castle. If anything the army hunting me was only going to get bigger.
If they sacrificed enough idiots down this chute I could maybe spawn Beargor. That would probably net me a few high level kills even if it was only for a minute or two. And that was assuming the enemy was spread out.
Actually, I had no idea what would happen if I spawned Beargor. Would his army repopulate all over the castle? Would I be suddenly compressed by thousands of bears in this confined area? The mounting questions were irrelevant when I was forced to act.
A green aura of magical healing illuminated from above. I saw quickly the light was descending. A spear spawned in my hand while I waited.
There was no cry out or any warning besides the green glow getting brighter. A goblin hit the floor of the stone. The healing was so powerful that as soon as the legs snapped the little green monster knitted back together as if they’d hadn’t fallen thirty feet.
I hurled a spear into the creature's back. I figured this was the captain, and they’d fallen prey to my simple light trick.
The spear erupted out of the front of the goblin. The legs stumbled in shock. The wound I created actually healed.
The problem for him was, I ejected the heart which sent his orbs tumbling toward the T intersection. The body fell forward, still and rigid. I scooped up the light to collect my loot.
“Cap?” the rhinorc checked hesitantly. I paused. I knew exactly what that dumb shit recruit was doing.
My mind knew I was only a few feet from the chute opening. I readied a spear, craned my neck up while cocking my arm back, and walked for the vertical tunnel. The moment I was under the chute I hurled the weapon. Sure enough a big dumb rhinorc face stared down trying to see what was happening.
There was no time for him to react. The spear was simply too fast. The head exploded and the body clogged the opening.
My score said. 3432. Holy monkey grease on a bunny girl's tits. It had to be this captain guy. I went to loot his body and found the holy grail. The goblin had a legendary healing staff. Whoa, and he gave me probably a hundred levels. His orbs were yellow healing orbs. Ah, that made sense. Healing stuff was cheaper beside the staff.
The bag was filled with the orbs and I frowned at the fact both bodies were too small to get into their gear. Maid outfits, while airy, comfy, and surprisingly easy to fit in, were still a maid outfit. The goblin body had another expensive dagger that went onto my other thigh. I found a purse of platinum, a dozen coins jingling in the container. This was a small fortune and left me stunned. By the creator, who went to war with platinum? I mean, you’d have to be so confident that…
Justicar pride probably spurred them into confidence. My understanding was that they hardly ever lost. There was the echo of new footsteps above me. I reset my trap, cleared the bodies, and waited for more trouble. Nope, my plans were foiled. The sound of a sizzle mixed with a crackle informed me a wick was probably burning.
I bolted for the Y tunnel. Sure enough, there was a resounding boom as I fled down the left opening. The flames that licked my body brightened the tunnel. Far too late they showed me I was running for a drop off. Unable to slow myself in time I flew over the edge.
The explosive flames died off, giving but the tiniest of glimpses of water below me running at a rapid pace. Well, shit. I flailed uselessly without the ability to see. I had no idea how deep the water was so I cast an area heal immediately.
I splashed into the freezing water with my eyes widening from the shock. My heart slammed into my chest from the frigid temperature. My feet hit bottom suddenly causing me to jolt forward. There was no doubt in my mind I’d shattered my ankles. Thankfully, the spell repaired my busted joints quickly. I tucked the two legendary staves between my thighs so I could semi kick and empowered swim with my arms. I breached the surface.
From the end of a tunnel I saw light. No, it was another Y. I swam with rapid powerful strokes to reach the side with the sprinkles of daylight. My hands caught the edge of the tunnel intersection. With a mighty heave, I extracted myself out of the water and into the new path that went up.
“Well so much for the maid outfit,” I said, shedding the garment and kicking it back into the water.
I shivered naked, cold, and alone. The only thing I had was my new daggers, two staves, and the bag of loot. I walked up the big drain pipe that led to a grate. I used the firm moss to get traction. The sun only burst through one spot because vegetation covered most of the metal frame. The single opening created a beam of light that barely allowed me to see. I saw a T three quarters of the way up that was capped off, as if someone planned an expansion but never used it.
While I looked into the small cave I swore I saw movement. A big sewer rat jumped for me. I held in my shriek and instead beat the shit out of the creature with the staff. When it was a bloody pulpy mess I headed for the grate, careful of where to step. I spied a destroyed village not far off in the distance. From this angle it took me a moment to realize I was looking at the first village of the dungeon.
A few dozen soldiers in Justicar colors scoured under rubble and debris. The majority were aimless, pretending to search but were in reality bullshitting with each other. I scratched my beard, deep in thought.
“Who are we looking for anyway?” A voice said from the surface. My best guess they were no more than a dozen feet away. I held my breath trying to avoid detection.
“Some high value target. The word is it’s a male human who is seven feet tall. That’s all we were given,” a second feminine voice said.
“Sona, check that grate,” the first voice said to the second.
I scurried into the rat's hiding spot, tucking myself in to avoid the small hole the soldier would peer down. “I can’t see shit,” the lady said.
“Fine,” the male said, coming closer. A small fireball streaked for the water below. “Eww, there was a rat fight here. No human footprints or any human
s. You want to go down there?”
“For what?” Sona said with a scoff. “No, Sarge said there was a sewer crew handling the drains. We peeked, we did so thoroughly. Time to move on.”
I heard them talking about some vacation spot they wanted to visit for gambling once the war simmered down a bit. Their fading voices were getting further away and I was almost ready to head back to the grate. Suddenly I heard a loud sniffing from the bottom of the tunnel. Wet feet smacked up the pipe until the halfway point. I stayed perfectly still.
“Damn, Grevin,” a voice said from below.
The top team reacted immediately by running back to the grate and shouting, “Who goes there?”
“Smarnie, it's me Grevin. Checking this tunnel. Did you kill the rat?” Grevin asked.
I waited patiently, scared to move an inch.
“Was dead, looks old and has no footprints,” Smarnie said.
“There were watermarks. Either way, nothing is pointing to a human, let's go Grevin, I marked this tunnel as explored,” the second voice down by the water said.
Both top and bottom teams faded away, and both missed this intersection. I let out a sigh of relief. That Grevin fellow only halted to talk with the other. The timing was fortunate but it left me in a bind. The water obviously went somewhere that probably could be exited. The flip side was the forest area above me was littered with enemy troops.
I grew anxious about what path to take. Then I figured maybe both was the best option. After another five minutes passed before I left my hidey hole. When I returned to the grate I shifted it. While the frame was rusted shut, there was a squeak of give.
I waited patiently to figure out what to do next. The amount of soldiers I could see roaming the terrain stayed under a hundred. There had to be more beyond what I could see and the reality was there were simply too many for me to escape without being noticed.
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