He took her hand and led her to the bench, pushing it back slightly before he seated himself facing the piano and positioned her so her behind just touched the keyboard. He pulled a condom out of his pocket and put it on the keyboard next to her.
“You said you wanted to watch me undress,” he said, shrugging out of his jacket and letting it drop to the floor behind him.
She laughed deep in her throat. “Keep going.” She hitched her bare bottom against the keyboard, sending a crash of discordant notes echoing through the big open space.
Tully’s gaze skimmed over her. “Now that’s a picture I’d like to hang on my wall. You, naked, on a piano keyboard.”
She arched her back, posing for him. “Like this?”
“Hell, yeah!” He ripped his tie from around his neck with a hiss of silk on cotton. “I want to suck on those beautiful breasts.”
Then he was yanking at the buttons of his shirt so hard that one popped off and rolled away. The shirt went the way of his jacket and Natalie gave an admiring gasp of her own. The chiseled muscles of his shoulders and chest were painted with the golden light from the huge bronze chandelier. His gray eyes blazed with a flame that came entirely from within.
Crossing his ankle over his knee, he dragged off one of the glossy black cowboy boots and his sock and tossed both aside before he did the same for the other foot. He stood to jerk open his belt buckle and unzip his trousers, stripping them and his briefs down in one swift motion before he kicked them away.
Natalie scanned from his bare feet up the curved muscles of his calves to his powerful, ridged thighs. When she came to his erection, she could almost feel the hard length of it inside her already. Her inner muscles clenched again.
He sat on the bench. “Come here.” He wrapped his hands around her hips and brought her in close, opening his thighs so she could stand between them. And then he fastened his mouth on one of her nipples while he rolled the other one between his fingers.
She dug her fingers into his shoulders and held on for dear life as electric sensation streaked from her breasts to her belly and back again. When he shifted his lips to the other breast, she pushed into him with mindless want.
Just as her knees were about to buckle, he pulled back. “I need to be inside you now,” he panted, grabbing the condom.
Natalie took it from him. “My turn,” she said, before putting the edge of the envelope between her teeth so she could run her fingers over the hard, velvet length of him.
He allowed it for a few seconds before he said through gritted teeth, “You need to get that condom on right now.”
She smiled with a sense of power as she stroked it down over his erection. As soon as she finished, he crooked his hand behind one of her knees to guide it onto the bench beside his hip. Then he wrapped his hands around her waist and lifted her without apparent effort so she could kneel over his lap, his cock brushing her clit so that she gasped at the zing it sent along her nerve endings.
He positioned himself between her thighs. “You ready, baby?” he asked.
“Go!” she commanded.
He brought her down as he rocked his hips, driving deep inside her in one hard thrust. It was powerful and thrilling to be filled so abruptly.
“Oh yeah!” His grip on her tightened. He lifted her so that he nearly slid out of her and then moved her downward again.
She could feel the slight dig of her high heels against her buttocks, adding to the sensual assault. And then he sucked one of her nipples into his mouth while she was impaled on his cock. That sent her over the edge into a shriek of an orgasm that slammed through her without warning.
Her body bowed back in a paroxysm of brain-bending release. But she knew Tully would keep her from falling. As her muscles contracted around his cock, he pulled hard on her nipple as he released it, sending a shower of sparks through her.
He held her while she came down from her climax, his grip sure. When she sagged onto his shoulder, he ran his hand down her back and up it again so that tingles shimmered over her skin.
He was still hard and deep inside her, which kept her arousal smoldering despite the orgasm. After a few moments, she lifted her head. “Time for you now, cowboy.”
“I’m in no rush.” He pulled her in so her breasts were crushed against his bare chest while he kissed her with slow intensity.
Desire seeped through her again. She pulled her mouth away to surge upward and drop down so his cock stroked in and out of her.
“Oh, sweetheart,” he said, his eyes half-closed as he braced his hands on the bench and leaned slightly backward to give her a better angle. “You are so perfect.”
Holding his shoulders for balance, she started out in an unhurried rhythm, savoring the slide of him within her, watching the way his face tightened with pleasure. Then he began to raise his hips to meet her as she came down, driving even deeper. His shoulder muscles bunched under her hands as he lifted his hips higher and faster until she held herself still and let him find his own speed as he thrust.
With a final lunge that nearly lifted her off the bench, he threw back his head and shouted, “Oh, hell, yes!” as he pulsed inside her.
He subsided onto the bench, wrapping his arms around her so tightly that it was hard to take a full breath. “Natalie,” he murmured against her temple. “My amazing Nat.”
He claimed her as his with a rumble of satisfaction in his voice and she liked it too much. But she stayed melded together with him until he softened and slid out of her.
He pressed a tender kiss on her mouth and smiled into her eyes. “Let’s see if we can make it to the bed now.”
Natalie stood on wobbly legs, deciding to kick off her heels for safety’s sake. Tully disposed of his condom while Natalie gathered up their clothes. Tully grabbed his boots and took the armful from her before he put his free arm around her waist to steer them up the stairs.
“I feel strange walking up this grand staircase stark naked,” she said. “It’s meant for ladies wearing ball gowns.”
“Are you kidding me? There’s nothing I’d like more than to watch you walk down these stairs just the way you are. Of course, you might not make it all the way to the bottom before I joined you.”
“How about if I wore a tiara and nothing else?”
He chuckled and swept her down the hall and into his bedroom, dropping their clothes on a chair. Natalie watched appreciatively as he walked to the bed, his corded muscles flexing as he turned down the quilt. “I want an armful of warm woman right now,” he said, gesturing to the inviting sheets.
“That’s the disadvantage of grand pianos,” she said as she slipped into bed. “No comfortable place to relax afterward.”
He climbed in beside her, making the mattress dip as he rolled over and hauled her in against him. “Hey, now I won’t feel guilty that I don’t play. I’ve found an even better use for the piano.” He nuzzled against her shoulder, rubbing the scruff of his chin over her skin.
“Mmm, that feels good. Like a loofah.” She squirmed in his arms to give him access to more of her back.
“A what?”
“A scratchy sponge. It exfoliates your skin.”
“So you’re hinting that I should rub my chin over your back?” His voice was amused.
“Only if you want to make me purr.”
“Oh, I definitely want to hear that.” He grazed his soft whiskers over her shoulder blade and toward her spine. She rewarded him by humming in the back of her throat.
He rubbed a little longer before he kissed her shoulder and settled on the pillow.
Natalie drifted in a pleasant state of satiation, warmth, and contentment with the press of Tully’s body against hers. She didn’t need to feel guilty, because this was just the aftermath of great sex.
“Now I really don’t understand why you’re not married,” she murmured. She felt the flinch in his muscles and smiled. “You need to stop jumping every time I say that word. You know you’re safe from me.”
“Like I said, I’m not cut out for marriage.” It was one of his stock answers, meant to deflect serious conversation.
Suddenly, she wanted to know the real reason. She twisted in his arms so she was facing him, so close that she could see the bands of silver and gray in his eyes. “That’s garbage. You have every quality that makes a great husband. So what has kept some smart woman from snapping you up?”
He smiled an easy, meaningless smile. “Maybe the right woman hasn’t tried.”
“I’m sure a lot of women have tried. After all, you’re rich, successful, and great in bed.” Her tone was wry.
“Thank you, ma’am.” His tone matched hers.
“So why?” She prodded him in his shoulder with her index finger.
He rolled onto his back. But he kept one arm around her so she was still against his side. “Hell, Nat, all kinds of reasons. You know that marriage is complicated.”
She remained silent, waiting.
He blew out a long breath. “You’re a tough interrogator.”
He slid his arm away from her and hitched himself into a sitting position, stuffing a pillow behind him against the headboard. Natalie sat up as well, wrapping the sheet over her breasts and curling her legs under her.
Tully gave her a straight look. “When I was in the FBI, I liked the risky assignments. I saw how many of my fellow agents ended up divorced because their wives couldn’t hack that. As for being a dad, I was likely to end up injured or worse. It wouldn’t have been responsible parenting.”
“You aren’t in the FBI anymore.”
“I can’t sneak anything past you, can I?” He smiled crookedly before his mouth settled into a grim line. “Okay, sweetheart, here it is. I come from a family of addicts. My mother and father were alcoholics. My father played the ponies with the rent money. My brother belongs to Gamblers Anonymous . . . when he’s not at the casino. My sister”—his eyes held deep sorrow—“overdosed on drugs two years ago despite several stints in rehab.”
“But you’re not an addict.”
“Don’t kid yourself. I told you I’m an adrenaline junkie and I was dead serious. I can’t live without the rush that comes of running into a bad situation with a gun in my hand.”
“You don’t do that now, though.”
“Not often.” He sighed. “I miss it.”
“But that’s not the same as drinking or gambling or drugs.”
He looked away. “Addiction is in the genes. I’m not passing my crappy DNA on to some poor innocent kid.” He turned back to meet her gaze. “Marriage means children, and I will never have kids of my own.”
“You could adopt.”
He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter how much you discuss not having children before you go into a relationship. Women change their minds. I’m not going to change mine.”
It broke her heart that he would deprive himself of love because of some misguided idea that every woman wanted her own baby. “You know, some woman might think having you as a husband would be worth not having a child.”
The angles of his face softened and he looked vulnerable. “She’d be making a bad bargain.”
How could he think that? “You should let her decide that.”
“I did. Once.” The softness disappeared. “She came to her senses and backed out.”
Someone had hurt him deeply. “I didn’t think you would give up so easily.”
He laughed, although it was with an edge. “You gotta know when to fold a bad hand. I think it might be the one useful thing I learned from my pa. Other than how not to be as a husband and father.”
“He treated you badly, didn’t he?”
“He thought I was a worthless piece of shit, as he often told me.” His lips curled into a sneer. “Maybe I owe him for that because it lit a fire under me to prove that I wasn’t.”
So that was why he believed he was a bad bargain. “Well, you certainly proved it beyond a shadow of a doubt.”
“Who did I prove it to?” He shook his head, unhappiness clouding his eyes. She wanted to put her arms around him, to comfort him, but he reached out and hooked his finger in the sheet where it stretched over her cleavage. “Didn’t you say something about me being good in bed?”
“I might have.” He wanted to banish all those ugly memories by losing himself in sex.
“Let me prove it.” He tugged at the sheet so she released her hold on it.
And then he tipped her onto her back before stretching himself out over her.
After he’d driven her nearly out of her mind by exploring every inch of her body before he came inside her, they lay spooned together again. Tully’s breathing settled into the steady rhythm of sleep. The arm he had draped over her waist went lax and heavy.
She couldn’t relax because his words kept running through her mind. She could accept his determination not to have children. Natalie suspected that the parental dynamic had more to do with his siblings’ addictions than any genetics, but alcoholism did run in families.
But he wouldn’t even consider adoption because he believed he wouldn’t be enough as a husband. Natalie wanted to punch whatever woman had convinced him of that. He must have really loved her. And her rejection meshed so perfectly with his father’s opinion of him that Tully would have felt he deserved it. Anger roiled inside her.
How ironic that she wanted to protect him. Now that she’d glimpsed that deep insecurity within him, it made her want him more, not less. Because she could pour her love into all those dark, ugly corners and make him understand how very worthy he was.
She pulled her thoughts up short, nearly gasping out loud. Yes, she’d used the word “love.” About Tully.
Her heart pinched as she shoved the idea away. She could not be in love with him. She didn’t want to be. He didn’t want her to be.
Her life was perfect the way it was, the way she’d so painstakingly rebuilt it. Her new house set up just for her, her growing business, her trusted friends, her helping hand for women who needed it. Tully would explode all that without meaning to.
She wasn’t going to change herself for a man again, not even for Tully.
She needed to end this now. Before she got pulled in any deeper.
Chapter 17
“I want to go back to my house today,” Natalie said as they ate the Mexican omelet Tully had whipped up for breakfast. In his blue button-down shirt with its sleeves rolled up to his elbows, he looked even more delicious than the food. “There’s been nothing from the stalker for more than forty-eight hours.”
Tully put down his fork. “That just means that he’s going to come at you from a different direction.” He shook his head. “You’re staying here until we catch him.”
“I need to be home.” She could see him winding up to say no again, so she added, “I want to go back to my normal life.” She needed to put distance between the two of them.
“Sweetheart, your life won’t be normal until your stalker is in police custody.” His tone was patient but unyielding. “You’re safer here.”
“I’ll have the bodyguard with me at all times. You said she’s just as good as Pam.”
“Fine.” She saw a flare of annoyance in his eyes. “I have to go to the office today but I’ll come to your place tonight.”
Natalie looked down at her plate, her throat tight with the tears she was holding back. “I would prefer you didn’t,” she said in a low voice. She forced herself to lift her gaze to meet his. “I need a little space.”
“What the hell, Nat?” He scraped one hand over his hair in frustration. “You’re being stalked. This isn’t a good time to need space.” He drew in a deep breath and softened his tone. “I’m trying to protect you.”
“I know.” She was trying to protect both of them.
“Is this about something I said last night?” he asked. “You wanted honesty.”
She couldn’t tell him that she’d seen how vulnerable they both were, so she lied. “I’m just feeling overwhelmed.”
He reached across the table to lay his large hand over hers. “So let me take care of you.”
His words hit her like a splash of ice water. That was how Matt had lured her in. But being taken care of had come with too high a price. She couldn’t fall into that trap again.
“Let your bodyguard handle it,” she said. “Just like you would a client.”
He winced as though she’d hit him. “You know you’re far more to me than a client. What I said last night doesn’t mean I don’t care about you.” He squeezed her hand gently, his gray eyes locked on her. “I can’t lose you, Nat. It would rip my guts out.”
She saw the truth of that in his face. Her heart twisted painfully as she understood that she was going to hurt him. She didn’t want to be one of those women who made him feel bad about himself. So better to do this now, stalker be damned.
“That’s why I think it’s time for me to go back to my life in New Jersey”—she waved her hand in the direction of the river—“while you stay here in Manhattan.”
Tully pulled his hand away from hers. His jaw was tight with anger, but she saw the confusion in his eyes. “So you’re saying you don’t want to see me anymore?”
“Of course I want to see you. We have close friends in common, so it’s inevitable anyway. I just think it’s a bad idea to continue sleeping with you.”
Pain glazed his eyes and twisted his mouth. She wanted to tell him she was doing this for his own good.
“Why?” he asked.
She folded her hands on the table and did her best to project an air of serene certainty. “If we go on much longer, things will get messy.”
“That’s not an answer.” He folded his arms across his chest, the muscles in his forearms flexing as he curled his fingers into fists. “But you’re right. Since it’s going to end, better to keep it neat.”
“I’m sorry,” she said with genuine regret.
“Shit, so am I.” He shook his head. “I knew this would happen. I just . . .” He stared toward the window. “Just not so soon.” When he turned back to her, he’d shuttered all emotion except for a wistful smile that barely curled his lips. “It was real good while it lasted.”
The Agent Page 21