by Erin Rhew
“My queen?”
She bolted up, trying in vain to wipe the tears off her face. With or without the dewdrops of sorrow, her bloodshot eyes and swollen, red nose gave away her activity. He didn’t often see the queen so vulnerable, no one did. Though the sight shocked him, he schooled his face to remain neutral, a technique he’d learned in Volton but never quite mastered.
“Yes, Mars?” Her formal, regal attitude overrode the sadness. He may not be a master at hiding himself, but she always had been. He long admired her ability to appear strong when everything around her fell apart, though he often wondered about the emotional expense she paid for such control.
“I thought you would want to know right away that Wil and his group made it to Volton. When they arrived, Wil lay unconscious, his wound grew infected again, but the medical Voltons treated it. He appears to have made a full recovery. The group rode for the Outlands two days ago.”
Sansolena nodded. “Thank you, Mars. Your new brings me a great deal of comfort.”
He stepped forward, hesitating. “My queen—”
“Oh Mars, Jesper has been dead for a while now. You can call me Sansolena. We don’t have to hide our friendship anymore.” A soft smile covered the pale shadow of grief shrouding her face.
“Some habits are hard to break, my queen. For over twenty years, I’ve called you ‘my queen’ or ‘Your Highness.’ I can’t imagine calling you anything else at this point.”
“I understand.”
“May I ask why you are in here crying, my queen?”
Sansolena rose from the bed, took the Volton’s arm, and steered them both out of the room. For a while, she did not speak. He remained silent, waiting for her to answer the question lingering between them.
“I’m afraid, Mars.” Tears dotted the landscape of her lids, but none fell. “It’s hard for me to admit that, even to you. I’ve always tried to appear collected and strong. For a while, I did so with ease, despite Jesper’s overbearing behavior, but now…” She batted a tear with her free hand. “There has just been too much heaviness for me to carry. My husband Altered my daughter’s mind so thoroughly he managed to change her personality. A few days later, he died. My younger son nearly followed his father into the grave, and now Nash, my only son with Rex, is a hostage. Instead of sending a group of soldiers to rescue Nash, by far the wisest choice, Wil insisted on going himself and taking Vespa too. Do you realize I could lose all of my children at once, Mars?” He nodded. “We know nothing about this Outlander queen. I fear they are walking into a trap and don’t even know it.”
“That fear is not unfounded.”
A strange sound, somewhere between a hiccup and laugh, escaped her. “You’re always so dispassionate. I know you love those children as much as I do.”
“You’re right, I do. You say I’m dispassionate, but my dear queen, I am far from it. All I can do is hope against all hope that they are intelligent enough—if not separately, then together—to figure out a way around anything the Outlanders throw at them. Samson, Grant, Layla, and Nash are the strongest Vanguards I’ve ever seen, and when Wil’s mind joins together with Vespa’s, they are unstoppable during Alterations. I take my comfort from their formidable strength as a unit.”
“Thank you, Mars. You’ve always had a way with words.” She patted his arm. “I’ll try to draw comfort from that image as well.”
Queen Sansolena
Sansolena dropped the Volton off in his study where he began muttering something about a new liquid medicine to accelerate healing. She smiled despite the ache in her heart. In the twenty years she’d been living in the Ethereal palace, she’d come to regard Volton Mars as a friend. His stable personality and wise counsel often provided an anchor in times of trouble. Talking to Mars and getting his take on her children’s situation put her in a better frame of mind.
“Sans!” Rex’s voice called from down the hall.
She waved and walked toward him. He stalked forward. She steeled herself for the worst as all the calm she’d found left her.
“What is it, Rex?”
“It’s Vance. I just received word from a spy within his camp that Vance plans to attack the last week of autumn.”
“Well, that gives us plenty of time to prepare.” The news brought her surprising relief. “Why is he waiting so long?”
“He hopes to join with the Outlander queen. He is answering her summons, and they are set to meet soon. I think he hopes to join their army to his own, to replenish the ranks since so many defected with me. Sansolena, we don’t know anything about the Outlanders—the size of their army, their power, their fighting ability. We know nothing.”
Her cheeks burned, icy, not hot. “But the Outlanders haven’t participated in a war in at least a century.”
“I know, but something is different. A half Outlander girl appeared in Etherea claiming to be the Fulfillment. At the same time, the Outlander queen not only summons Vance but also Wil and Vespa. Nash may not have been far off when he said it’s all connected, Sans. I don’t know if Vance will be successful in garnering Outlander assistance, but if he is…”
“All three of my children will be in the Outlands. What if Vance arrives then? Rex…” He pulled her into his arms. She rested her head against his broad chest and relaxed into him. Though guilt gnawed at her every time she compared them, Sansolena had never felt as serene and safe with Jesper as she did with Rex. Just the simple touch of his hand upon her arm or the small of her back could soothe her in a way she never knew possible.
She took his hand and pulled him into the library, away from ever watchful eyes and listening ears. His face registered surprise, but he did not object.
“Rex, life is fleeting. If I’ve learned one thing of late, it’s that. I want to say what I should have said to you a long time ago while I still have the chance.” She ran a finger along his forearm before letting her hand drop. “My father died over a year ago. I could have Unlocked my mind then and remembered you, but I didn’t. I was afraid to know what my father had kept hidden from me for so long.”
“You don’t have to explain anything to me, especially right now.” He cupped the left side of her face in his large hand.
“I know, but I want to. I need to tell you right now. Who knows if I’ll ever get another chance.” She swallowed hard. “When I was younger, I was a coward. Rather than fight for you, for us, I let my father steal you from me. I let myself live a life of lies for twenty years because I was too scared to leave Etherea and go with you. When you asked me to run away and marry you, I should have gone.” She dipped her head, made heavy with regret. “I should have gone.”
He placed a hand on the right side of her face and wiped away each tear with his thumb as it fell.
“Sans,” he whispered in a low voice. “You are the strongest woman I know.”
“If I had gone with you, you would never have had to marry that horrible Montessa who bore you Vance, and right now there would be no threat against my kingdom from him. If I had gone, Nash would have had a father who adored him instead of one who hated and feared him, and we would have been together, happily married, maybe with more children together.”
“It’s not too late for that.” When he waggled his eyebrows, a mischievous grin on his face, she swatted at his stomach.
“I’m serious, Rex. When I think about everything I gave up because of fear, and everything that’s resulted from it, I’m ashamed.”
She tried to lower her head again, but he wouldn’t let her. He lifted her chin until their eyes met. In them, she saw how much he loved her—despite their twenty years apart, despite her weakness, despite everything.
“If you hadn’t let your father perform the Alteration, you would never have had Wil and Vespa. I see the joy they bring you. Without them, your life would never be complete. No matter how many children you and I could have produced, they would never be Wil and Vespa.
“As far as Montessa, my marriage to her is over. The moment she sto
od against me with our son…” He ground his teeth as a low growl emanated from this throat. “And Vance, if he wasn’t threatening this kingdom, Sans, someone else would be. You can’t shoulder all the blame.
“What about me? I could have fought for you. I should have barged into your parents’ home and taken you. I’m sure I could have found someone who would have been able to Unlock your mind, but I didn’t. I just let you go. It is, and will remain, my biggest regret.”
She blinked back tears. “We’re quite a pair then aren’t we?”
“What do you say we forget the past and focus on the future?” His tender yet strong smile set her heart ablaze, just like it did all those years ago.
“I think we can make that work.”
“May I kiss you?” Shyness, so out of place on such a ferocious fighter, softened his hard features.
Since they had reconnected on the River Lars, Rex had been a strong, steady support for her, but he had not tried to move their relationship forward. He seemed to be waiting for her to be ready. Sometimes, his distance made her thankful and other times frustrated, but he always took care to respect her grief and give her the space she needed. At this moment though, with her heart racing as it did the first time she anticipated his kiss, she wanted nothing more than the feel of his lips on hers.
“Yes.”
He bent down. Time suspended, both slow and agonizing. When his lips touched hers, their souls as well as their bodies fused. All the reasons she loved him then and all the reasons she loved him now rose to the surface, flooding her mind. The past and present swam together until they coalesced into this one moment in time.
Tremors radiated up and down her spine, pleasure coursed through her whole being. She loved this man. She always had and always would.
“I’ve been waiting a long time to do that,” he murmured against her lips.
“Did you mention something about more children?” She surprised herself with such boldness.
His breathing increased as he smiled against her teeth. Rex lifted her off her feet and placed her on the library’s couch, his lips never leaving hers.
Chapter Nineteen
Wil
After two days of hard travel, they reached the border of the Outlands. Wil rolled his shoulder to work out some of the stiffness. His wounds remained closed, and he sent a silent “thank you” to Mars for directing them to Volton. Their medical treatments not only saved his life but also healed him.
“Let’s break for camp here,” Grant said, pointing to a clearing.
The woods surrounding the Outlands proved quite dense, matching Samson’s description. They should be able to camp here tonight undetected, and retreat to this location should anything go wrong. Wil wanted to be ready. After Holt’s warning to Layla, he wanted to be sure to take as many precautions as possible.
As they dismounted and began to set up camp, Mia approached him. He suppressed a weary sigh. Layla had told him about Mia’s crying episode in Volton and about Holt’s vague proclamation to “go easy on Mia,” so he forced a bright smile.
“Can I help you with anything?” She met his gaze then ducked her head.
“Sure.” He wracked his brain to come up with a task to give her, to make her feel included. “Would you mind tying up my horse?”
She brightened. “I’d be happy to do that.”
“Thank you. If you’ll excuse me, I need to talk to Layla.” He started to walk away but saw how her face fell. “Never mind. It can wait.”
Mia perked up. Her bright smile left him no choice but to smile back. Despite what Holt said, Wil kept himself aloof. They still knew next to nothing about her or her purpose in coming to Etherea.
“Why are you so secretive?”
The smile fell off her face. “I wish I could tell you. I really do.”
“It’s just the two of us over here. There is no one else around. You can tell me and no one has to know.”
A flicker of something—longing? regret?—passed over her face but disappeared almost as fast as it had come.
“I really can’t.”
She furrowed her brow. He peered into her eyes. She seemed to be trying to communicate something she couldn’t say with her mouth. But what? He couldn’t read her.
“You act as if we’re being watched.” He started to chuckle, but the laughter died on his lips the moment he saw her face. “Are we being watched?”
She didn’t say a word. She didn’t have to. This expression, he could read. Something, or someone, watched them.
“By whom?” Wil glanced around. He noted the position of every member of their party before turning back to Mia. She shook her head. She would tell him no more.
Wil sighed, frustrated by her silence but understanding the reluctance at the same time. “Okay, Mia. Okay.”
He rushed to put together his tent for the night, anxious to talk to Layla about what he’d learned. Mia, underfoot as always, buzzed around, helping him. He appreciated her assistance but couldn’t shake his feelings of apprehension around her. Every so often, Wil surveyed the woods, trying to figure out who could be watching them and how they could be doing it. Perhaps Mia had lied. As a prudent king, he had to at least consider the possibility she fed him false information to throw him off track. He needed to talk to Layla.
“I think I’m done here for now. Thank you for your help.”
She ducked her head as she had done earlier, a slight flush coming to her cheeks. Her purple eyes sparkled. Her eyes, that flush—so like Layla but not. He waited for her to leave before turning from the campsite to head over toward Layla.
She bent over a tent stake, hammering away, oblivious to his arrival. He paused to watch her. For someone so small, she possessed an impressive amount of strength. A few strands of black hair slipped out of her ponytail. She slapped them back.
Just standing there, watching her perform a mundane task, Wil’s heart swelled with love. He wanted to tell her everything he felt, but he worried the truth would overwhelm her. He knew she had yet to choose. He knew the odds, knew she would most likely choose Nash.
Though the thought crushed him, he wanted her to have the freedom to follow her own desires. He could not and would not lay the entirety of his feelings upon her. He refused to burden her with such heavy emotion, so he held back.
He only watched her for a short moment before Layla turned. Those Vanguard instincts never failed to impress him. Upon seeing him, her face broke into such a wide smile Wil thought he might burst with euphoria. The way she looked at him right now gave him the slightest glimmer of hope—hope that she would one day choose to be with him, hope that they could build a life together.
“The Voltons fixed you up, you know. Your days of just standing around and watching everyone else do the work are over,” she teased.
He laughed. “I’m already done putting up my tent. What’s taking you so long?”
She stuck out her tongue. He longed to reach out and pull her to him, but he remained in place. Her smile faded. She lifted her hand up to shade her eyes from the sun.
Squinting at him, she said, “You look concerned.”
He stepped closer to her until they stood a few inches apart. She sucked in a surprised breath, and he realized with a start that she thought he meant to kiss her. His heart ached. Every fiber of his being wanted to give in to that desire, but he restrained himself.
“I talked to Mia a little earlier.” He spoke in a low voice, part desire and part secrecy.
“Oh.” A shadow crossed her face—could it be jealousy? He dismissed the idea. Layla had no reason to be jealous.
He closed what little space remained between them and whispered in her ear, “I got the impression from her that we are being watched.”
Layla observed the landscape around them. “I don’t see how we could be.” Her features hardened in concentration. “Mia wouldn’t tell us anything in Etherea or Volton. There is no way the Outlander queen could have been watching Mia in Etherea, Volton, a
nd here. We know Vespa, Grant, and Samson aren’t working for her.”
Wil frowned. “Are you sure the queen didn’t somehow coerce your brother? He has been to the Outlands twice now and returned unscathed, while Nash, who is the fiercest warrior I know, remains imprisoned.”
“My brother?” Layla shoved him backward. He stumbled to regain his footing and straightened. “My brother?” She marched up to him until their faces were inches apart, her face twisted in Vanguard fury. “You can’t be serious.”
“Hear me out.” He placed his hands on either side of her face. She stilled. “I don’t want to believe bad things about your brother any more than you do, but we have to consider all the options. Strange things have happened since Samson came to Etherea. Just promise me you’ll consider it for a moment. If you think it over and decide I’m wrong, I’ll accept your conclusion. But please don’t dismiss the notion offhand.”
They both looked over at Samson. He punched Grant in the arm and then jumped back a few spaces out of his brother’s reach. Grant made a motion forward, causing Samson to scramble backward so hard he fell. The two brothers laughed as Grant reach out a hand to help Samson up.
Layla chewed her lower lip as she paced. “I guess it’s possible, but I have trouble believing my brother would work against us. When we talked to our parents before we left, he seemed sincere in his vow to ensure we all come back alive.” She stopped her incessant movement and turned to face him. “Sure, Samson’s lied to our parents many times in the past, but I’ve always known when he was doing it. He wasn’t lying to them in Volton.”
Wil ran his fingers through his hair. “I wish we knew more about the Outlanders’ power. In his story about the three children of the First Ones, Volton Holt confirmed they have at least one. If it involves some sort of mind control like the Ethereals possess, the queen could have convinced your brother to work for her whether he wanted to or not.”
A flash of uncertainty skated along her face before Vanguard stubbornness replaced it. “But Holt said the three siblings were jealous of one another’s abilities. That would suggest they are all different. If Samson is a spy, why did Mia still refuse to report anything useful even after he left with Nash for the Outlands? She would have been safe to say something then without his knowledge.” She softened. “I’m not telling you we shouldn’t be wary of my brother, but we should continue to consider other options.”