Vet in Harness

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by James Herriot

get to know him, aren't you, old lad?' He continued his tickling and in

  the dim light I could see the short white tail wagging furiously. Maudie

  was lying in the very last of the recovery pens, a tiny, trembling

  figure. That trembling meant she was coming out of the anaesthetic and I

  opened the door and stretched my hand out to her. She still couldn't

  raise her head but she was looking at me and as I gently stroked her

  side, her mouth opened in a faint rusty miaow. And with a thrill of deep

  pleasure I saw that her lower jaw belonged to her again; she could open

  and close it; that hideous dangling taller of flesh and bone was only a

  bad memory.

  "Marvelous, Granville,' I murmured. "Absolutely bloody marvelous.'

  Smoke plumed in quiet triumph from the noble pipe. "Yes, it's not bad,

  is it laddie. A week or two on fluids and she'll be as good as new. No

  problems there.'

  I stood up. "Great! I can't wait to tell Colonel Bosworth. Can I take

  her home tonight?'

  "No, Jim, no. Not this time. I just want to keep an eye on her for a

  couple of days then maybe the colonel can collect her himself.' He led

  me back into the brightly lit office where he eyed me for a moment.

  "You must come and have a word with Zoe while you're here,' he said.

  "But first, just a suggestion. I wonder if you'd care to slip over with

  me to .. .'

  I took a rapid step backward. "Well ... er ... really. I don't think

  so,' I gabbled. "I enjoyed my visit to the club that other night but .

  .. er .. . perhaps not this evening.'

  "Hold on, laddie, hold on,' Granville said soothingly. "Who said

  anything about the club? No, I just wondered if you'd like to come to a

  meeting with me?'

  "Meeting?'

  "Yes, Professor Milligan's come through from Edinburgh to speak to the

  Northern Veterinary Society about metabolic diseases. I think you'd

  enjoy it.'

  "You mean milk fever, acetonaemia and all that.'

  "Correct. Right up your street, old son.'

  "Well it is, isn't it? I wonder .. .' I stood for a few moments deep in

  thought, and one of the thoughts was why an exclusively small animal man

  like Granville wanted to hear about cow complaints. But I was maybe

  doing him an injustice; he probably wanted to maintain a broad, liberal

  view of veterinary knowledge.

  It must have been obvious that I was dithering because he prodded me a

  little further.

  "I'd like to have your company, Jim, and anyway I see you're all dressed

  and ready for anything. Matter of fact when you walked in tonight I

  couldn't help thinking what a smart lad you looked.'

  He was right there. I hadn't dashed through in my farm clothes this

  time. With the memory of my last visit still painfully fresh in my mind

  I was determined that if I was going to meet the charming Zoe again I

  was going to be: (a) Properly dressed, (b) Sober (c) in a normal state

  of health and not bloated and belching like an impacted bullock. Helen,

  agreeing that my image needed refurbishing, had rigged me out in my best

  suit.

  Granville ran his hand along my lapel. "Fine piece of serge if I may say

  so.'

  I made up my mind. "Right, I'd like to come with you. Just let me ring

  Helen to say I won't be straight back and then I'm your man.'

  Chapter Fourteen.

  Outside it was still snowing; city snow drifting down in a wet curtain

  which soon lost itself in the dirty churned-up slush in the streets. I

  pulled my coat higher round my neck and huddled deeper in the Bentley's

  leather luxury. As we swept past dark buildings and shops I kept

  expecting Granville to turn up some side street and stop, but within a

  few minutes we were speeding through the suburbs up towards the North

  Road. This meeting, I thought, must be out in one of the country

  institutes, and I didn't say anything until we had reached Scotch Corner

  and the big car had turned on to the old Roman Road at Bowes.

  I stretched and yawned. "By the way, Granville, where are they holding

  this meeting?'

  "Appleby,'my colleague replied calmly.

  I came bolt upright in my seat then I began to laugh.

  "What's the joke, old son?' Granville enquired.

  "Well .. . Appleby .. . ha-ha-ha! Come on, where are we really-heading?'

  "I've told you, laddie, the Pemberton Arms, Appleby, to be exact.'

  "Do you mean it?'

  "Of course.'

  "But hell, Granville, that's on the other side of the Pennines.'

  "Quite right. Always has been, laddie.'

  I ran a hand through my hair. "Wait a minute. Surely it isn't worth

  going about forty miles in weather like this. We'll never get over Bowes

  Moor you know - in fact I heard yesterday it was blocked. Anyway, it's

  nearly eight o'clock - we'd be too late.'

  The big man reached across and patted my knee.

  "Stop worrying, Jim. We'll get there and wel~l be in plenty of time.

  You've got to remember you're sitting in a proper motor car now. A drop

  of snow is nothing.'

  As if determined to prove his word he put his foot down and the great

  car hurtled along the dead straight stretch of road. We skidded a bit on

  the corner at Greta Bridge then roared through Bowes and up to the

  highest country. I couldn't see much. In fact on the moor top I couldn't

  see anything, because up there it was the real country snow, big dry

  nakes driving straight into the headlights and settling comfortably with

  millions of their neighbours on the already deep white carpet on the

  road. I just didn't know how Granville was able to see, never mind drive

  fast; I had no idea how we were going to get back over here in a few

  hours time when the wind had drifted the snow across the road. But I

  kept my mouth shut. It was becoming increasingly obvious that I emerged

  as a sort of maiden aunt in Granville's company, so I held my peace and

  prayed.

  I followed this policy through Brough and along the lower road where the

  going was easier until I climbed out with a feeling of disbelief in the

  yard of the Pemberton Arms. It was nine o'clock.

  We slipped into the back of the room and I settled into my chair,

  prepared to improve my mind a little. There was a man on the platform

  holding forth and ., L_ ~, ~o~

  at first I had difficulty in picking up the substance of his words, he

  wasn't mentioning anything about animal diseases but suddenly everything

  clicked into place.

  "We are indeed grateful,' the man was saying, 'to Professor Milligan for

  coming all this way and for giving us a most interesting and instructive

  talk. I know I speak for the entire audience when I say we have enjoyed

  it thoroughly, so may I ask you to show your appreciation in the usual

  manner. There was a long round of applause then an outburst of talk and

  a pushing back of chairs.

  I turned to Granville in some dismay. "That was the vote of thanks. It's

  finished.'

  "So it is, laddie.' My colleague didn't seem unduly disappointed or even

  surprised. "But come with me - there are compensations.'

  We joined the throng of vets and moved across the richly
carpeted hall

  to another room where bright lights shone down on a row of tables laden

  with food. Then I recognised Bill Warrington the Burroughs Wellcome

  representative and all became clear.

  This was a commercially sponsored evening and the real action, in

  Granville's estimation, began right here. I remembered then that

  Siegeried had once told me that Granville hated to miss any of these

  occasions. Though the most generous of men there was some piquancy in

  the gratis food and drink which attracted him irresistibly.

  Even now he was guiding me purposefully towards the bar. But our

  progress was slow due to a phenomenon peculiar to Granville; everybody

  seemed to know him. Since those days I have been with him to

  restaurants, pubs, dances and it has been just the same. In fact I have

  often thought that if I took him to visit some lost tribe in the jungles

  of the Amazon one of them would jump and say, "Well hello, Granville old

  boy!' and slap him on the back.

  Finally however he fought his way through his fellow vets and we reached

  the bar where two dark little men in white coats were already under

  pressure; they were working with the impersonal concentration of people

  who knew that the whisky always took a hammering on veterinary evenings,

  but they paused and smiled as my colleague's massive presence hovered at

  the counter.

  "Now then, Mr Bennptt. How are you, Mr Bennett?'

  "Good evening, Bob. Nice to see you, Reg.' Granville responded

  majestically.

  I noticed that Bob put down his bottle of ordinary whisky and reached

  down for a bottle of Glenlivet Malt to charge Granville's glass. The big

  man sniffed the fine spirit appreciatively.

  "And one for my friend, Mr Herriot,' he said.

  The barmen's respectful expressions made me feel suddenly important and

  I found myself in possession of my own vast measure of Glenlivet. I had

  to get it down quickly followed by a few speedy refills since the barmen

  took their cue from my companion s consumption.

  Then I followed in Granville's regal wake as he made his way among the

  tables with the air of a man in his natural environment. Messrs

  Burroughs Wellcome had done us proud and we worked our way through a

  variety of canapes, savouries and cold meats. Now and again we revisited

  the bar for more of the Glenlivet then back to the tables.

  I knew I had drunk too much and now I was eating too much. But the

  difficulty with Granville was that if I ever declined anything he took

  it as a personal insult.

  "Try one of those prawn things,' he would say, sinking his teeth into a

  mushroom vol au vent and if I hesitated a wounded look would come into

  his eyes.

  R',t I was enjoying myself. Veterinary surgeons are my favourite people

  and *9 Vet zn Harness I revelled as I always did in their tales of

  successes and failures. Especially the failures; they were particular

  soothing. Whenever the thought of how we were going to get home stole

  into my mind I banished it quickly.

  Granville seemed to have no qualms because he showed no signs of moving

  when the company began to thin out; in fact we were the last to leave,

  our departure being accorded a touch of ceremony by a final substantial

  stirrup cup from Bob and Reg.

  As we left the hotel I felt fine; a little light-headed perhaps and with

  the merest hint of regret at being pressed to a second helping of trifle

  and cream, but otherwise in excellent shape. As we settled once more

  into the Bentley Granville was at his most expansive.

  "Excellent meeting that, Jim. I told you it would be worth the journey.'

  We were the only members of the company who were headed eastward and

  were alone on the road. In fact it occurred to me that we hadn't seen a

  single car on the road to Appleby and now there was something

  uncomfortable in our total isolation. The snow had stopped and the

  brilliant moon flooded its cold light over a white empty world. Empty,

  that is, except for us, and our solitary state was stressed by the

  smooth, virgin state of the glistening carpet ahead.

  I was conscious of an increasing disquiet as the great gaunt spine of

  the Pennines bulked before us and as we drew nearer it reared up like an

  angry white monster.

  Past the snow-burdened roofs of Brough then the long climb with the big

  car slipping from side to side as it fought its way up the bending,

  twisting hill, engine bellowing. I thought I'd feel better when we

  reached the top but the first glimpse of the Bowes Moor road sent my

  stomach into a lurch of apprehension; miles and miles of it coiling its

  way across the most desolate stretch of country in all England. And even

  from this distance you could see the drifts, satin smooth and beautiful,

  pushing their deadly way across our path.

  On either side of the road a vast white desert rolled and dipped

  endlessly toward the black horizon; there was not a light, not a

  movement, not a sign of life anywhere.

  The pipe jutted aggressively as Granville roared forward to do battle.

  We hit the first drift, slewed sideways for a tense few seconds then we

  were on the other side, speeding into the unbroken surface. Then the

  next drift and the next and the next. Often I thought we were stuck but

  always, wheels churning, engine screaming we emerged. I had had plenty

  of experience of snow driving and I could appreciate Granville's

  expertise as, without slackening speed he picked out the shallowest,

  narrowest part of each obstruction for his attack. He had this heavy

  powerful car to help him but he could drive all right.

  However, my trepidation at being stranded in this waste land was

  gradually being overshadowed by another uneasiness. When I had left the

  hotel I was pretty well topped up with food and drink and if I had been

  handled gently for the next few hours I'd have been all right. But on

  the bumpy journey to Brough I had be.en increasingly aware of a rising

  queasiness; my mind kept flitting back unhappily to that exotic

  cocktail, Reg's speciality, which Granville had said I must try; he had

  prevailed on me too, to wash down the whiskies with occasional beers

  which, he said, were essential to maintain a balanced intake of fluids

  and solids. And that final trifle - it had been a mistake.

  And now I wasn't just being bumped, I was being thrown around like a pea

  in a drum as the Bentley lurched and skidded and occasionally took off

  altogether. Soon I began to feel very ill indeed. And like a seasick man

  who didn't care if the ship foundered I lost all interest in our

  progress; I closed my eyes, braced my feet on the floor and shrunk into

  an inner misery.

  I hardly noticed as, after an age of violent motion, we finally began to

  go Vet ~n Harness ;

  l ..

  465

  downhill and thundered through Bowes. After that there was little danger

  of having to spend the night in the car but Granville kept his foot down

  and we rocked over the frozen ground while I felt steadily worse.

  I would dearly have loved to ask my colleague to stop and al
low me to be

  quietly sick by the roadside but how do you say such a thing to a man

  who never seemed to be in the least affected by over indulgence and who,

  even at that moment was chatting gaily as he refilled his pipe with his

  free hand. The internal pounding seemed to have forced extra alcohol

  into my bloodstream because on top of-my other discomforts my vision was

  blurred, I was dizzy and had the strong conviction that if I tried to

  stand up I would fall flat on my face.

  I was busy with these preoccupations when the car stopped.

  "We'll just pop in and say hello to Zoe,' Granville said.

  "Wha's that?' I slurred.

  "We'll go inside for a few minutes.'

  I looked around. "Where are we?'

  Granville laughed. "Home, old son. I can see a light, so Zoe's still up.

  You must come and have a quick cup of coffee.'

  I crawled laboriously from the seat and stood leaning on the car. My

  colleague tripped lightly to the door and rang the bell. He was as fit

  as a fiddle I thought bitterly as I reeled after him. I was slumped

  against the porch breathing heavily when the door opened and there was

  Zoe Bennett, bright eyed, glowing, beautiful as ever.

  "Why Mr Herriot!' she cried. "How nice to see you again!'

  Slackjawed, green-faced, rumple-suited, I stared into her eyes, gave a

  gentle hiccup and staggered past her into the house.

  Next morning Granville rang to say all was going to be well because

  Maudie had been able to lap a little milk. It was kind of him to let me

  know and I didn't want to sound churlish by saying that was all I had

  managed to do, too.

  It happened that morning by a coincidence that I had a far outlying

  visit and had to pass the Scotch Corner turning on the North Road. I

  stopped the car and sat gazing at the long snow-covered road stretching

  towards the Pennines. I was starting my engine when an AA man came over

  and spoke at my window.

  "You're not thinking of trying the Bowes Moor road, are you?'he said.

  "No, no. I was just looking.'

  He nodded in satisfaction.

  "I'm glad to hear that. It's blocked you know. There hasn't been a car

  over there for two days.'

  Chapter Fifteen.

  One of the things Helen and I had to do was furnish our bedsitter and

  kitchen. And when I say 'furnish' I use the word in its most austere

  sense. We had no high-flown ideas about luxury; it was, after all, a

  temporary arrangement and anyway we had no money to throw around.

  My present to Helen at the time of our marriage was a modest gold watch

  and this had depleted my capital to the extent that a bank statement at

  the commencement of our married life revealed the sum of twenty-five

  shillings standing to my credit. Admittedly I was a partner now but when

  you start from scratch it takes a long time to get your head above

  water.

  But we did need the essentials like a table, chairs, cutlery, crockery,

  the odd rug and carpet, and Helen and I decided that it would be most

  sensible to pick up these things at house sales. Since I was constantly

  going round the district I was able to drop in at these events and the

  duty of acquiring our necessities had been delegated to me. But after a

  few weeks it was clear that I was falling down on the job.

  I had never realised it before but I had a blind spot in these matters.

  I would go to a sale and come away with a pair of brass candlesticks and

  a stuffed owl. On another occasion I acquired an ornate inkwell with a

  carved metal figure of a dog on it together with a polished wooden box

  with innumerable fascinating little drawers and compartments for keeping

  homeopathic prescriptions. I could go on for a long time about the

  things I bought but they were nearly all useless.

 

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