I finished dressing up and turned around to head to the bedroom to bid her goodbye and found her leaning against the threshold of the corridor, silently watching me.
I smiled at her, wondering if she was thinking about our night together on the balcony and she smiled back. She’d kissed me with a ruthless passion, the kind that I was always the one exercising when fighting so hard to maintain control. I’d loved it.
I walked up to her, feeling that familiar sexual ache rising to the surface again.
“Are you going to deal with your brother?” she asked.
“Yes, when I get off work.” I knew she was concerned about me, and to be honest, I was afraid he’d disrupt the life I’d made for myself, so I needed to deal with him as soon as possible.
“Good,” she said.
I moved closer and circled my arms around her waist as her scent filled me. She always smelled so damn good. Did she produce that delicious scent? Or had she worn it so long it was now ingrained in her?
“I must go now, before my body decides to stay,” I said.
She leaned close and kissed me very lightly, just lightly enough for me to deepen the kiss, which I did because my body and my desire for her always drew out this horny savage in me.
I gently pinned her against the wall and explored her lips. When my hands found an opening into her robe, she stopped the kiss. “If you go any further, you’ll never get to work,” she said against my lips.
My senses came back and my brain restarted. That sexual ache in me had intensified. But she was right. If I opened that robe and started to explore her, I was never going to leave for work. I pecked her lips and forced myself to step back.
“I’ll see you tonight,” I said as I left the penthouse.
It took every ounce of strength in me to physically leave her side.
I got a cab home and was surprised to find my apartment in the same neat way I’d left it. Greg was a messy character who’d always had someone cleaning up after him.
I assumed he was still sleeping in the guest bedroom and went to get ready. Forty minutes later when I was ready and about to leave the apartment, I found him in the living room with a bowl of cereal.
“Well, well, well, look at you,” he said, pointing at me with a spoon. “You never came back home last night.”
It was still a little early and James was going to pick me up in another ten minutes so I went to the kitchen to make myself some coffee. “Of what concern is it of yours?” I asked.
He rolled his eyes and rested his head back on the couch. “Just curious about this life you lead,” he said.
I watched him, recalling my conversation with Mrs. Gallagher. “When I get back, I’m taking you to a motel.”
“Still against me staying here, I see.”
The fresh smell of the brewing coffee lifted my spirits.
“Liv, I’m not going to do anything untoward against you,” he said. “I meant what I said. I just came to check up on you.”
“And now that you have, isn’t it time you left?”
“We’ve barely had a conversation.”
“What would you call this?”
He groaned, got to his feet and approached me. “Why are you acting like this towards me? I’m your brother, for God’s sake.”
He had an innocent look on his face that my mother or his girlfriend would’ve fallen for, but not me. I knew him better. “I know you, Greg. People like you don’t change.”
I poured the coffee into a cup and took my first savored sip. When I met his gaze, I could see the concealed disdain. That was the Greg I knew.
“Why don’t you tell me the real reason why you don’t want me here? You’ve got this mysterious little life that doesn’t come easy, how did that really happen?”
I took my purse, retrieved some dollar bills and placed them right next to him. “I don’t want to find you here when I get back.”
He smiled smugly as he stretched out his hand over the countertop and instead of reaching for the money, he took my coffee. “I’m not leaving town, Liv. Not until I figure out what you’re trying to hide from me.” He took a sip and started walking back to the couch. “Oh, you still want this?” he asked, pointing to the coffee with that smug look on his face.
I wanted to hurl something at him for his irritating presence and even more annoying behavior. “It was nice seeing you, Greg. Thanks for reminding me why I can’t stand being around you.”
I took my purse and headed for the door. “If I don’t find you gone by the time I get back, I’ll have you removed.” I lived in a safe and secure building where unwanted visitors could be easily ridden of.
My encounter with Greg left an unpleasant taste in my mouth and I was a bit pissed he’d actually managed to provoke me with something as trivial as taking my coffee.
I found James waiting for me when I got downstairs and the rest of my day seemed to slowly drag by. My meetings felt like they lasted forever, but I wasn’t in the right state of mind so that might’ve been the reason why.
I was distracted by my discovery earlier that morning. I told myself that I was merely infatuated, but every time thoughts of my time with Mrs. Gallagher flashed in my mind, a warm tingling feeling would overcome me.
I wondered how she’d react if she ever found out. I was almost certain she’d abruptly end things between us because this wasn’t what either one of us had bargained for.
My conversation with her the previous night replayed itself in my mind. I’d told her I couldn’t stop thinking about her and her response had confirmed she’d noticed I had feelings for her.
I’d condemned myself when I’d told her that nothing was going to stop me from developing feelings for her because I hadn’t known at the time, that I already had.
I’ll never be able to give you more than this. These were the words that tortured me during the day. Why couldn’t she give me more? Was it because what we had was nothing but a meaningless affair to her? Apart from our professional relationship, was her interest in me purely sexual?
The questions drove me so crazy, they delved into untouched waters; her marriage to Mr. Gallagher.
She hadn’t stated reasons why there would never be more between us, so I wondered if it may have had something to do with her feelings for him. Did she still love him? Did they still share a bed?
As the questions spiraled in my head, I came to realize how sadly little I knew about Mrs. Gallagher and how now, I wanted to focus myself on that particular part of her.
Here and now…The echo of my own voice replayed the words which had revealed I may have had a little influence on Mrs. Gallagher than I imagined. We get to have equal say. I had no idea where I got the guts to put myself on an equal footing with her. Here and now, Mrs. Gallagher, you’re mine and I’m yours. But I meant what I said.
I had been terrified, but once again, I’d somehow managed to take some of that power back. If I continued on this path, I knew there wasn’t anything I couldn’t do.
Chapter Forty-One
“Your mom and I have been growing apart for years,” Patrick said.
He’d called me earlier on during the day to talk. I’d had to put off my meetings to go meet him because he took first priority, and this was the conclusion we’d come to after our conversation.
“Wait, what’re you talking about?” Anna asked.
“They want to separate, stupid,” Jonah said bitterly.
“Wait, what? No,” Anna said.
Patrick and I had met to discuss the real nature of our relationship. As he spoke, trying to explain it to Anna, our dialogue replayed itself in my head.
“I know what you came from, Amelia. Over the years, I’ve come to understand you more and more. This is not coming from bitterness, its coming from an honest place,” he said.
“Patrick—.”
“No, let me finish.”
Maybe it was better to let him get whatever he needed out of his chest.
“I wanted you to l
ove me, Amelia. I wanted it so desperately it felt like I couldn’t live without it. Adrianna was our little miracle. We were a family again, do you remember?”
His words took me back in time and I smiled as I nodded. “She was a clumsy little thing, wasn’t she?” I said.
He nodded with a smile on his face. “Yes, she was.”
We both went silent, almost as though our memories had synchronized and we were on the same plane again. Then he yanked me back to reality with the ugliest memories in my mind.
“Your mother was trying to turn you into a weapon, Amelia. A weapon she could use against any corporate giant, as long as it worked in her favor. She wanted to turn you into a machine. How you were capable of being with me, baring our children, loving and nurturing them into what they are today is beyond me.”
I tightened my jaw.
This was information I was already aware of. I’d never thought anyone would ever come to possess it, let alone speak of it, but after all that time I’d spent with Patrick, it didn’t surprise me he was aware of it.
“That guarded humanity I saw in you when I realized the kind of life you’d had, it’s what has kept me by your side. Though we haven’t touched or kissed in years, just having you in my life has been enough for me.”
“Patrick, stop.” I couldn’t stand to hear anymore.
“I love you, Amelia. It may not show, but I do and I need you to know that.”
I gritted my teeth. “What do you want from this?” I said in a bit of irritation.
“I want to set you free,” he said.
Set me free? Did he think he was my savior? “Are you kidding me?” I asked. “What does that even mean?”
He laughed softly as he closed his hands over mine, gently and warmly squeezing them, an act that felt strange to me. “It may be a little too late, but I don’t want you to feel obligated to me anymore.”
“What are you saying?” I asked, pulling my hands away.
“I think we should get a divorce,” he said.
I was stunned for a minute.
“We’ve grown so far apart, Amelia. I don’t know who you are anymore. You don’t know who I am. Jonah and Adrianna are the reason we’ve stayed together this long. But they’re both grown up now. They’ll understand.”
I had no words.
“The first time I saw you, I knew I’d spend every single day of my life loving you. I know you’ve given me everything you could’ve given anyone else. But I think its time we sought after something that would make us both individually happy... apart.”
I agreed. I wanted Patrick to be happy. He’d been so good and patient with me.
“I think that would be best,” I said.
“Adrianna might take this a little harder than Jonah but in time, I think she’ll understand. They don’t know you the way I do. They don’t know what you’ve been through.”
“They should never find out, Patrick. I want to protect them from that knowledge and ironic as this may seem, I want them to retain the relationship they have with Kathy because they’ve somehow managed to make a somewhat decent being out of her.”
For some reason, we both laughed at some mutual silent agreement.
“Anna, would you rather we stay together and continued to be miserable or parted ways and tried to seek happiness from someplace else?” Patrick asked, drawing me back to the present.
“I want you both to be happy,” she said.
We turned our attention to Jonah, but he only shrugged his shoulders in nonchalance.
When Patrick and I were alone later on, it felt strangely comfortable.
“I know we’ve both gone through some things we’d rather not speak of, but doesn’t it feel like the first breath of fresh air, in a long time?” Patrick asked.
It was too good to be true and I had no idea what to do with it, but yes it did. “It does,” I said. “Is it supposed to feel this way?”
Even though we’d spent so many years practically apart, the finality in this separation felt wholesomely liberating. Our lives wouldn’t have to change, but knowing we had the freedom to do anything we both wanted without worrying about hurting or humiliating each other felt incredible.
“I think so,” he said.
We were talking in his study. He’d poured us both some whisky and this was the most peaceful we’d been around each other in a very long time.
“So what happens now?” I still wasn’t fully aware of the formal norms to follow when it came to some things.
“To be honest, I don’t know,” he said.
“I don’t want this to affect the family in any negative way. We’ve managed to stay out of the spotlight for a long time and I’d really like it if it continued that way.” I didn’t want Adrianna and Jonah to get hurt.
“As long as we stay united, everything is going to be okay,” he said.
I took a deep breath and relaxed.
Hours later when it was about to hit midnight, I was at the penthouse thinking about my afternoon. I was concerned about Jonah and Adrianna.
Even though Anna took the separation the hardest, I couldn’t help thinking about Jonah. He’d always been like me. Always seeking success and trying so hard not to feel things that profoundly affected him.
I’d made sure he grew up in as normal an environment as he could, but there was a part of myself in him that I saw every time I looked into his eyes. A part that I looked at with sadness because I didn’t know how help.
The elevator doors opened.
I knew it was Olivia since we’d made plans to meet up, but I wasn’t sure I was in the best mood to spend the night with her. Earlier on that morning, she’d left me in a bit of confusion but I hadn’t had time to think about it because of my day with Patrick.
I saw her walk inside and stop when her gaze met mine. That look in her eyes resembled the one I’d noticed in the morning. I thought it was curiosity and fear, but at that moment, it was something else, something more.
I was standing outside the balcony in the warm midnight air. I’d been lost in thought while blankly staring at the bright countless stars in the sky but now, I was looking at Olivia, lost in not only how beautiful I found her to be, but also, how seeing her managed to somehow shift my axis.
She never took her eyes off me as she placed her bag on the couch and approached me. I watched her as she stepped out to join me on the balcony, came to stand so close, we were just a couple of inches apart.
“Hi,” she said.
I smiled.
She smiled back and closed the gap between us with a kiss I didn’t know I’d been anticipating. I responded, caressing her soft lips with my own as her arms gently moved around my waist, and our mutual passion took over.
When we pulled apart, I was breathless. I hadn’t enjoyed something as simple as a kiss with anyone in such a long period of time until Olivia had come along for, whenever we kissed, some sort of life seemed to bloom from it.
“I’ve been looking forward to this all day,” she said.
I guess I had been too, I just hadn’t been as acutely aware of it.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
I quickly nodded. I hadn’t expected my day to be as eventful as it had turned out to be. “I’m fine,” I pecked her lips, which was strange how easily comfortable it was for me to perform such an act.
Olivia slightly pulled away and stared out into the sky and took a breath of the warm night air. She turned her attention back to me when her eyes opened and said softly, “I can’t remember a night I’ve spent by your side that hasn’t been this beautiful.”
Sometimes the intensity in her eyes coupled up by the truth she spoke frightened me. “Why don’t I get us something to drink?” I said, pulling away from her before she had a chance to respond.
I resented how she had the power to make me feel like I was twenty-one again. She made me nervous, got me excited, made me question myself but above all, when she looked at me sometimes, it felt like everything I desire
d was in her eyes.
I got us a nice expensive bottle of red wine and two glasses and rejoined her at the balcony. She silently watched me as I uncorked the bottle and poured the wine into the glasses.
“I’m sorry about the way I ran out this morning,” she said.
I knew she’d wanted to stay but she’d had a job to do and going to work when I’d offered her a chance not to, had only gone to prove how serious she was with her responsibilities. “You don’t have to be sorry for that,” I said.
She took a sip of the wine and a smile crept up my lips from the look of appreciation that came across her face.
“This is nearly orgasmic,” she said.
I held up my glass and said, “It’s a 1999 Romanée-Conti.”
“I’d never had anything close to vintage wine before, this must be expensive,” she said.
I shook my head and shortly after realized that what was expensive to her wasn’t expensive to me. I’d never lived without money. Whatever struggle she’d ever had to live through was something I’d probably never come to understand.
She had a thoughtful look across her face before she spoke.
“When my brother showed up, he mentioned something that sounded odd,” she said.
I nodded, thinking she was going to ask me for help but from the expression on her face, I could tell she was more interested in something else.
“He said my school loans had all been paid in full. I went by to confirm today and he was right.”
I waited for her question.
“Did you pay it off?” she asked.
“I’d never been able to lie to her. “Yes,” I said.
“Why? I’m making money now. I could have paid it off myself.”
She seemed very bothered by the knowledge. “I wanted you to have a fresh start.”
“You’ve done so much for me already. Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m not a wounded creature that you always have to rescue. I know you mean well and I so deeply appreciate it, but you have to stop. Let me handle things on my own, how will you ever fully trust me if you’re always taking care of things for me?”
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