A Time to Heal

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A Time to Heal Page 6

by Diana Lesire Brandmeyer


  Decision made. This truck wouldn't be going anywhere without a lot of work. She reached for her phone, then remembered. She'd plugged it in to charge while she walked the beach this afternoon, and it was still there on the kitchen counter. Now she'd have to go into the dealership to call Joel for a ride.

  As she walked to the door, two salesmen aimed themselves toward her. This was worse than the perfume counter at the mall. Seriously, was that one trying to run-walk in her direction? Then they seemed to part, veer off to opposite corners as if they'd been threatened by her presence. Cool beans. I have salesman repellant power. Now to locate a receptionist—

  “Lucy, what brings you into the dealership today? Are you looking for a car?”

  Her shoulders ached, already strung tight with tension they winched another notch closer. She turned. “Evan.” His name on the office door in the corner. No wonder the other salesman took off. He probably waved them away. This was a bad idea. She could get a car elsewhere. Joel would help her. “I came in to see if I could call Joel, if that's okay? My truck broke down in your lot, and I left my phone at home.”

  “Let me take a look at it first. Maybe I can get it started again.” He stepped closer.

  His scent—always fresh like a spring day at the lake shore—crashed into her memories hard. Her heart sped up. She stepped back. “I—I'm—sure.” She fanned her face. “It's unseasonably warm

  isn't it, for this time of year?”

  “Why don't you give me your keys? I'll let you wait in my office. It's a bit cooler in there since the windows aren't facing the sun.”

  “Okay.” Sitting down seemed like a solid plan. And she was tired and hot. Or was she clammy? Or sweating? She brushed her forehead with the back of her hand. It was damp.

  “This way, then.”

  She followed him into his office. The smell of coffee and butterscotch swirled against the grain smell of leather and tried to break apart. Her stomach rebelled, and she rushed for the trash can next to Evan's desk. She barely made it.

  Evan held back her hair while she wretched. Stomach empty, she stood, unsteady on her feet. Evan stabilized her.

  “What's wrong with you?” He stroked her back.

  Terror soared through her body and she jumped away. “Nothing. Just move away. I'm fine.” She spotted a box of tissues on his desk. She grabbed one and wiped her face. “I'm sorry, Evan. I know you were trying to help. I'm sorry about your trash can.” Tears burned in her eyes. “Could you call Joel for me? I think I should go home.”

  “I'll take you. Please sit for a minute, and let me get you a ginger soda.”

  She sunk into a leather couch that begged her to lie down and sleep for days. Why did being close to Evan give her a feeling of security? Why hadn't she felt this way at her brother's house? There, where she should have felt welcomed, she was asked to leave, stay somewhere else, like an intruder, not wanted.

  He was back in a second. “Here you go. I didn't get you a glass. It would have taken too long to locate a clean one in the break room. He popped the top and handed the can to her.

  The cold carbonation tickled her tongue. She shivered. She hadn't adjusted to the temperature of soda in the States yet. “Why are you being so nice to me? You hate me.”

  “No. I don't. Seeing you the other night brought back a lot of feelings, ones that hurt and that took me a long time to get past. But you'll be living here, so I'm doing the right thing. So we can stay in the same town together. Maybe even be friends.”

  “Like Kevin and Grams?”

  “That I don't know, Lucy Belle.”

  The return of his pet name for her brought her to sobs. Evan kneeled in front of her. “It's going to be alright, Lucy Belle. I don't know what's happened, and you don't have to tell me, but you're home now with people who love you.”

  She wanted to ask if he was one of those people, but couldn't bear to think he would say no. “I think I can ride in a car now. But please call Joel to come and get me.” She couldn't be trapped in the car with him, not when she wanted nothing more than to have his arms around her once more.

  Evan settled the phone back on its charger. “I tried, Lucy, but no one is picking up at his office. Do you have his cell number?” He didn't like the dark purple circles under her eyes. The face that haunted him for years was full of color. It was nothing like the pale version he saw this morning.

  “I don't know it. It's on my phone.” Her voice echoed the exhaustion on her face. “Can you try, Deni?”

  “This is nuts, Lucy Belle. Just let me take you. Deni is on the opposite side of town. What's the worst that could happen? You get home safely? We ride in silence? You fall asleep on the drive?”

  “Are you sure I won't get sick again? I might, and in one of your dealer-driven cars too.” A tiny lift at the side of her lips gave him hope she felt better.

  “I’ll grab another trash can, and we do have an excellent service department. They can clean anything and make it look new. I'm willing to take a chance. Are you?”

  “I guess.” She laid her head back against the sofa and closed her eyes. “Sorry. I'm just so tired.”

  “Let me get the car around front, and then I'll come and get you. That way you won't have to walk to the back-parking lot.”

  When he came back, she was asleep. Curled up holding onto one knee, cupping her cheek with her other hand. His heart ached. He'd tried hard to find someone—anyone else to take her place—to have a family, with but he hadn't been successful. Now she was back. For good, he'd heard. But why?

  He pulled a blanket out of the closet he kept there when a late night going through accounting reports ended too close to morning. Sometimes he slept on the couch rather than go back to an empty house. With great care, he settled the blanket over Lucy and pushed back the desire to kiss her cheek, the way he'd done many times when they were together. Her truck key hung from the side of her purse. He unsnapped it from the key fob and held it a minute.

  He returned to his desk and emailed the service department. He could have her truck fixed. Why not? He owned the dealership and doing favors for friends went along with that. The key in hand, he stepped out of the office and closed the door. There was no way he was going to wake up sleeping beauty with a kiss, no matter how much he wanted to. As it was, she'd be fighting mad when she woke up and found herself on his couch.

  He'd take her anger. She needed to sleep. She was thin, thinner than he'd ever seen her, even in high school. Had she come home because she was dying? Lord, let that not be why she'd returned. And while he was talking to God, he might as well ask for some clarification about the reasons he couldn't stop staring at Lucy while she slept like a princess. Was there a chance they could go back to before she kicked him out of her life?

  But what if she were sick? He'd had a salesman with a sick wife, and he was always late. He went from a top sales position on the leader board to the bottom in a matter of weeks and never recovered his rank. Did he want to sign up for that? How could he, not with running the dealership. He was responsible for all of his staff. If he couldn’t stay on top of the business he wouldn’t be the only one out of a job. Besides, why was he even thinking about her as his wife. She’d been pretty clear in her refusal of him the last time he’d asked.

  Lucy's eyelids fluttered. She stretched her arms over her head. Where was she? A wall of awards against a paneled wall met her glance. She was still in Evan's office. She sat up, clutching a blanket. What? Where was Evan? He was supposed to take her home. Classic. He hadn't changed at all.

  She shoved the blanket to the end of the couch and then stood. What time was it anyway? No phone, so she couldn't check, and she didn't see a clock in Evan's office. She checked his desk. Nothing there either.

  The office door opened, and Evan stepped inside. “You're up.”

  “Why did you let me sleep?” She sat down in his chair, still tired. “And what time is it?”

  “It's almost five. You looked like you needed some rest,
and since you wanted to go home, I figured you didn't have anywhere you needed to be. So I pulled out a blanket from the closet and covered you up.”

  “You assumed you knew my schedule?” She clenched her hands. Calm down. He was trying to help, that's all.

  “I'm sorry. And I also had the mechanics in the service department look at—”

  “You did what? I didn't ask you to do that, Evan. I can't pay for that.”

  “I didn't expect you to. They found some loose wires and charged the battery. We ordered an alternator for it, but it won't be in until next week. That's what the service department said it needed. That truck is ugly, but in good shape for a classic.”

  “And you fixed it. That's great. What did that cost? And why would you order a part without asking me? That's not why I came here. I came to look for a different vehicle. But now I'm not sure I can trust you the way I thought I could. The way I remembered.” She pushed the desk chair back and stood. She wavered. The room spun and darkened. She would not pass out. Her knees buckled.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  “Lucy!” Evan caught her and pushed her to the couch. “Bend your head over.”

  The darkness faded, and she sat up. “Thank you for catching me.”

  “Lucy, you are scaring me. Let me take you home. Or maybe I need to take you to the ER? Yes, that's a better choice. I mean you threw up, and now you’ve almost passed out. I’m not sure you can even walk out of here. Maybe I should call an ambulance?”

  “No! I'm fine. Just overtired and stressed. It's been a shock coming back to normal life and normal food. That's all this is.” She didn't feel strong though. If she stood, would her legs hold her or fold under her like a newborn foal? She leaned into Evan's shoulder and remembered how steady and secure he'd made her feel. She hadn't wanted that back then, but now it was all she craved but couldn't have. It wasn’t hers to claim.

  “What do you want to do? Will you let me drive you? Loan you a rental car, though I don't think that's a great idea since you almost passed out.” He rubbed his jaw.

  A move so familiar to her she had to fight tears. Was this the way it was going to be? “Probably not the best idea to drive, you're right. Can you leave now, or do you have to close up tonight?”

  “I can go anytime I want—you want. Do you need to rest a little longer?” His forehead furrowed. “Whatever you need, Lucy Belle. I'm here for you.”

  If only that were true. As soon as she told him what she really needed, he would disappear. “I think I'll be fine. My stomach is empty.”

  “Stay here, and I'll get my car.”

  “Where would I go, Evan? How would I get there?”

  “Now there's the Lucy Belle I remember.” Evan smiled.

  On the ride back to the lake house, Evan kept his word by not asking her one question, not even if she wanted the radio on. He left it off, and she was grateful for the silence. It gave her time to think about what to do.

  She had to tell her family what happened. She wanted to tell Evan. He wouldn't have the desire to tell her what to do, or would he? No. There was too much distance between them now. Maybe he would be a good person to talk to. Or Lori, since they had no past relationship. She’d have the distance instead of emotion to discuss this with.

  Evan pulled up to the house. Lori wasn't home yet. Then she remembered she was having dinner with Trey.

  “I'm not sure what to do now, Lucy. Do I let you climb out of here, say nothing, and then drive off?”

  Her shoulders sagged further, if that were even possible. “Evan. There's so much you don't know and...” She rested her head against the headrest. “Would you like to hang out on the deck and watch the sun go down with me?”

  Lucy filled two glasses with iced tea and put the pitcher back in the fridge. Could she do this? Rip the band-aid off. That's all she had to do. Once she told Evan, let her secret out, then she should be able to tell her family. She picked up the tray with the glasses and carried it outside. She set it on the small table between the chairs. “Here you go. Unsweetened the way you like it, or used to.”

  “I still do. Lucy, are you going to tell me what's going on? I know we aren't together and I'm not who you want in your life—you made that clear long ago—but I do care for you. Something is wrong. Will you let me help?”

  Lucy took in the beauty of the sunset, its fading rays casting a long stream of light across the soft breaking waves. That night there had been a rosy sunset. She remembered thinking as she walked back to the hostel about the old adage red sky at night, sailor’s delight which meant her flight home would be easy. And then, someone yanked her by the shoulders and pushed her into an alley. Her stomach rolled. She closed her eyes tight against the memories that came back hitting her as hard as the reality of the event.

  “Lucy Belle, you're choking the railing. Maybe I'm not the person you need to talk to.” He stood next to her.

  If she could turn to him and be held for just a little while. She loosened her grip and wiggled her fingers to get the feeling in them back. “No. I think waiting is making it even worse. Expose evil to light and make it better, give it less power right?” She let out a stilted laugh.

  “I guess?”

  “I went with some friends one night. They were tired, and I wasn't, so I decided to explore the town on my own. The crazy thing was, I was on my way back here to Silverton. I'd decided I'd had enough travel and not having a warm shower or hot bath when I wanted one. I thought I'd look for a job, maybe even call you. You were right about a lot of things.” Her legs trembled. “I need to sit down.”

  “I'll be right back. You're shivering, and I'm going to go inside grab a blanket. Lori has a bunch of them in a basket by the door.”

  She didn't protest. A tear rolled down her cheek she brushed it away. That he would know what Lori had in the house pained her. They were close, even if they were just friends. Had they tried to be more? Who had decided it wouldn’t work? Lori? Evan?

  “Here.” Evan handed her a soft, furry blanket. It could have a been a long-haired cat, it had so much fur.

  “Lucy are you sick, dying from some kind of disease?”

  She half laughed. “Not exactly. Look, I'm going to take a deep breath and just say everything. It's the only way I'm going to get this out.” She sat in the chair. “And could you go back to your chair and not look at me while I tell you?” She stroked the blanket.

  “You got it. Whatever you need to get through this.”

  “Thanks. Okay. Here I go.” She inhaled and all the pain in her heart swelled, pushed against her chest, and begged for release.

  “You can fill in the blanks about what happened. I can't. I can't do details. They took my purse, money, and phone, beat me. And then they...they must have or at least one of them...I hit my head and lost consciousness. The ER doctor couldn’t tell me how many, just that one of them had taken what I was saving for...” Her voice caught in her throat and strangled the words she tried to say. A soft growl from Evan stopped her from saying more.

  Evan wrapped his hand around hers. “It's okay. You’re safe. It's over and you are back home where people love you. They aren't going to judge you for what these monsters did to you. Your family will be happy you are alive.”

  “But it's not over. I'm pregnant. How will they deal with that? And what am I supposed to do with a baby that is half mine and half of an evil man?”

  Evan balled his hands into fists then forced them open. He'd like nothing more than to hop a plane and find those men. Teach them a lesson. But that wasn't an option. Right now, he needed to help Lucy. But what could he do? She'd made it clear to him when she ended the relationship, she didn't want to be a mother or his wife.

  “That was harder than I thought to talk about.” She stepped away from him. “I'm tired, Evan. You probably should just go. Lori will be home soon.”

  “That's it? I'm pregnant, now leave? Why did you tell me? It doesn't make sense, Lucy. You should be talking to Joel and Deni. They are yo
ur family. You made it clear long ago that we were never going to be together.” He wanted to take back the words. He was in shock, that's all. A baby, with the woman he loved, had loved. Did he want to be pulled into a situation where he was raising some other man’s child? When all he’d ever wanted was for her to have their children?

  Wait. She never asked him to marry her. She didn't want him back then. Lucy wasn't the kind of person to backtrack into the past to make her life easier.

  “I'm sorry, Evan.” Tears dripped down her cheeks. “I don't know why I told you first. Maybe because I wanted you to know what happened, that this wasn't a result of falling in love with someone else. Please go.”

  “I’ll leave only because you asked me too. I don’t think you should be alone. Should I call Joel for you?”

  “No. Thanks for bringing me home. Don't worry about the truck. Have the service department call when it's fixed, and I'll see that it gets picked up.”

  “If that’s what you want.”

  “It is.”

  He paused, then turned and left.

  She listened to his footsteps echo off the deck, each one crushing the tiny bit of hope that he might still have room in his heart for her.

  CHAPTER NINE

  Lori stood in the wedding shop, one of the responsibilities of being a bridesmaid that she always hated. Everywhere she looked screamed “you’ll never get to do this.” And yet, here she was with Alison and Deni searching for Alison’s dress. Lori shoved another backless wedding dress across the rack. And so far, they'd found nothing Alison liked. “Do you have any idea besides ‘I'll know it when I see it’?”

  “I know. I'm a pain. It's a matter of my preteen wedding dreams clashing with my classic style of today. I love all the ruffles and bows, but when I put a dress on like that, I feel like a big white birthday cake.” Alison turned around in front of the grand array of mirrors. “Do I look like one?”

 

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