by Zahra Girard
Still, tonight is the night I end suspicion and come out with the truth.
Snake will make an exceptional father; he’s loyal all the way down to his bones, so fierce in protecting the people he loves and, as time has gone on, I’ve seen some of the darkness that he keeps locked away inside get replaced by love.
Sure enough, not minutes after Snake leaves the driveway, my parents arrive.
I watch them through the window. See my dad offer his hand to my mom to help her off the bike, watch her slide her hand around his back and lean into him as they walk up the driveway. As the years have gone on, their love has never wavered, it’s only gotten deeper. I hope that Snake and I will be the same way. Him, me, and our child, growing deeper in love as time goes on.
The moment they knock, I’m at the door, and I pull it back to reveal two smiling faces. Then I’m wrapped in the tight, warm hugs that only parents can give.
“Ooof, dad, not too tight, OK?” I say as he gives me a squeeze that almost makes my eyeballs pop out.
He looks down at me, surprised. “Since when have you ever had a problem with my hugs?”
“I’m just trying to be a little more careful, OK?”
My mom looks at me funny. “Addie, are you all right?”
“I’m fine, mom. Come on in, sit down, dinner will be ready soon and I think we have some beer in the fridge. Help yourselves, if you like.”
I let them in and then hurry back to the kitchen, hoping nothing burned in my absence. My mom follows, while my dad stretches out on Snake’s couch — it’s probably the first time today he’s had to relax. Ever since the club delivered the shipment that BD Cooper hijacked, the clubhouse has been as busy as a beehive. I don’t know the half of what’s going on, but I do know that practically every time I see my father, he has tired bags under his eyes.
While I busy myself at the stove, putting the finishing touches on making a pan sauce for the roast that I just pulled out of the oven, my mother pokes around in the refrigerator.
“Addie, you’ve got one beer left. Since you’re the cook, I think it should go to you.”
“No, I’m good, mom. I’ll text Snake to pick up some beers on the way home. Anyway, could you pour me a glass of the iced tea that’s in there? This sauce is tricky and I can’t step away from it.”
“So, you’re in to herbal tea, now?”
“Well, herbal doesn’t have any caffeine. Trust me, I’d love nothing more than to have that beer right now, but I can’t.”
“How long have you known you’re pregnant?” She says, so offhanded I don’t even realize what she’s asking until an answer is already leaving my lips.
“A little over a month,” I say. Then I nearly drop the wooden spoon into the sauce. “How did you know?”
“Since when do you not like beer? And herbal tea, Addie, come on. I know you’ve been hanging around those Los Angeles types for some of your work stuff, but you’re still my daughter; I know you,” she says. “Does Snake know?”
I shake my head and a smile creeps over my face. “I think he suspects. We’ve talked about having a baby eventually — he’d make such a good dad — but I haven’t told him anything. I was going to do it tonight before dinner.”
“Just put it out into the open like that, huh?”
“He gets this look on his face when he’s really surprised and it’s so good that it makes me feel like I’ve died and gone to heaven. It’s been too long since I’ve seen it, so I figured that’s reason enough to drop the pregnancy bomb on him.”
“Your father gets that way, too.”
“Things surprise dad? No way. Because I’ve never seen it. Even when I stole his bike when I was sixteen, he was unflappable. Well, disappointed and unflappable.”
“When we were early in our marriage, I got him once. For his birthday. We took a little road trip out east and, when we were passing through Springfield, MA, I said I needed to stop a bit and stretch my legs. I took him right to the Smith & Wesson HQ and their main plant. I’d called ahead. Got him a factory tour and a few hours on their testing range with every kind of gun you could imagine. He was like a kid in a candy store.”
“So, do you want to get him again?” I say, trying — and failing — to imagine a surprised and happy look on my father’s face. This will be a sight to see; my father and my man, finding out about the baby at the same time.
“Oh yes, I think we should,” she says. “And I have just the idea. We’ll get them as soon as Snake gets home. You mind if I borrow your camera to commemorate the occasion?”
I nod, and as she heads in to the living room to take it out; it’s about that time that Snake arrives, carrying a twelve pack of beer. Once he’s home, I take the sauce off the stove and set everything aside on the counter.
From the living room, I hear my mom’s voice.
“OK, before we start dinner, I want to take a picture of you three. Addie, I want you right in between Snake and Stone, OK?”
Not knowing how much longer I can keep the secret inside, I hurry out to the living room and take my place between the two most important men in my life. Grinning from ear to ear, my mom takes up a spot opposite to us and holds up the camera.
“OK, I will take this on the count of three. Get ready. One… two… Addie’s Pregnant… three!”
Two very shocked men turn to face me and simultaneously blurt out, “What?”
The camera clicks. Memory captured.
Yeah, the look on my dad’s face is definitely worth it all on its own.
And the stunned pride on Snake’s face? I’ll treasure that for the rest of my life.
“You’re pregnant?” Snake says. “I’m going to be a father?”
“Addie, is this true?” Stone says.
They’re both so stunned. But, even as shocked as they are, I’ve never heard so much love in their voices as I do in this moment.
I put my arms around my man, pulling him close for a kiss.
Then I turn and hug my father — gently, this time.
Our embrace ends just in time for my mother to come in and hug all of us.
“I love you, Addie,” she says.
Smiling, feeling so full of life and love, I nod at both Snake and Stone.
“Yes, Snake. You’re going to be a father,” I say, patting the spot on my tummy where the newest addition to our family is growing. I’m not showing yet, but soon I will be. And not long after that, there will be a little one running around this house, filling every room with laughter and love. “And dad… soon there will be a little one calling you ‘grandpa.’ Can you handle that?”
“Grandpa, huh?” He says, smiling from ear to ear. “Yeah, I think I like the sound of that.”
“I’m a father. A father. Holy shit, Addie,” Snake says, hugging me again and burying his face in my hair as he kisses the top of my head. “I’m so happy, babe.”
Way back when, I thought the only way I’d live a full life would be to build something separate from the club. A life far and away from the MC that I could call all my own.
But I’m so much happier now.
I have my photography and I’m making a name for myself, without having to sacrifice my relationships with the people who mean the most to me. In fact, I’m closer to the club and to my family than I’ve ever been before. Our bonds have only grown tighter. Stronger.
And now that I’m going to have a kid?
Those bonds will only get closer.
I can’t wait to see where our family is nine months from now.
I’m proud. Proud and happier than I ever thought I’d be. And I wouldn’t change a thing.
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Book five: Creole
Book six: Bull
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