“I didn’t realize his yard art was that effective.”
I didn’t mention that Zav’s magic was responsible for the barrier I’d described. Dimitri had some useful stuff, after all. “It’s improving. There’s a troll enchanter schooling him in the ways.”
“Hm.”
That wasn’t a ringing endorsement, but I would see if Dimitri had anything I could take out to her place. It bothered me that this could be the second time in as many months that people had gone out to see her because of her association with me—the third if one counted the elf interrogating her about the wedding.
“I’ll grab something to eat and head out there now,” I said. “Don’t wander off until I get there, please.”
Her second hm was even less committal, and I had a feeling she and Rocket would be sniffing around out back as soon as it was fully light.
“Is everything all right?” Freysha walked in as I hung up and peered toward a different section of the fence, where the detective was trying again.
“Nothing that Zav’s magic can’t handle, but someone may be pestering my mom again.”
“My people?” Freysha touched a hand to her chest.
“I hope not. Last time, it sounded like they came to the door during the day instead of skulking around in the backyard at night like a raccoon ravaging garbage cans.”
Freysha frowned. “That doesn’t sound like my people.”
“I’m going out to visit her.” I paused on my way up to my room to dress. “Do you want to come? You two haven’t met, have you? She likes elves. She’d like to meet you.” At the least, Mom would be interested in asking Freysha questions about Eireth, whom I knew she’d never entirely gotten over.
“I can come with you. If elves did visit her in the night, I may be able to determine who and why.”
“I’m more concerned that it was my half-dwarf thief who visited her in the night, but thanks.” Maybe Freysha could help me make a trap to ensnare that thief. I would ask her in the car.
Freysha nodded. “Dwarves would be more likely than elves to knock over trash cans.”
“Not everybody can be agile and graceful.”
Unfortunately, I had a feeling the sneaky thief was more like an elf than a dwarf. She’d eluded everyone so far, and I had no idea how I would trap her.
15
“There are so many ways to make a trap.” Gondo gestured expansively from the back seat of the Jeep. He was wedged between a couple of enchanted metal gargoyles and manticores that Dimitri had parted with, defenses that were redundant at our place now that Zav had done his upgrades. “How long is this drive? I will make a list for you. And read you the list. It will be thorough, with footnotes and appendices. I learned about footnotes and appendices in my human university class.”
“A list is good. No need to read it aloud. I can scan it later.” I took the Woodinville exit off 405 and drove toward Duvall, wishing Mom had picked somewhere less remote when she’d opted to move up here to be closer to Amber. Duvall was three hundred miles closer than Bend, Oregon, but with traffic, it didn’t seem like it.
“Oh, I should read the list to you.” Gondo rummaged in the beat-up briefcase filled with tools that he’d shown up to the house with, arriving less than a minute before Freysha and I had been headed out. Since he’d had homework and notes for Freysha from the class they were taking together, it hadn’t seemed appropriate to take off and leave him standing on the sidewalk. Besides, he could help install the yard art. “That way,” he added, “I can extrapolate when necessary. Do you have any coffee?”
“No.” I looked at Freysha in the passenger seat, wondering if she enjoyed the company of overly chatty goblins or was simply too polite to shoo them away.
She only smiled. She had been studying to go to their world and learn from their engineers. Maybe her readings had prepared her for goblin chattiness.
“I went first to the Coffee Dragon,” Gondo said, reaffirming my suspicions that nobody ever used the word sable in the name, “where I’d hoped to acquire some of the special blend, but the fearsome trollish woman was there and said I couldn’t come in because the goblin occupancy capacity had already been crossed.”
“She’s turning away customers?” I might have to talk to Dimitri about that. Even though the goblins slept under bridges and in parks, they somehow always had money to pay for numerous cups of coffee.
“Yes. And there were only eighteen goblins inside. I counted. They didn’t even have all of the tables. A surly orc was swigging espresso shots at the little table by the window.”
Hm. Maybe I wouldn’t talk to Dimitri. Nineteen goblins did seem like it would exceed some maximum-occupancy law somewhere. There were probably dice ricocheting off all the walls by now.
“Why so many goblins so early in the day?” I asked. “I thought you were night people.”
“Last night was the Ratchet Festival, so we were up all night,” he said. “We will nap in the afternoon.”
I almost asked what the Ratchet Festival entailed but was afraid he would tell me.
Gondo pulled two smashed aluminum cans out of the plastic garbage bag I kept in the back of the Jeep and tucked them into his briefcase. I wondered what second life the lemon La Croix cans would have.
He asked Freysha something in the goblin language.
“No.” She made a hand gesture that looked like using a screwdriver.
“Hm.” Gondo tapped a ruler to his chin.
What had he been measuring in the back of my Jeep? I didn’t ask about that either.
“Can you two engineers help me figure out how to trap a half-dwarf thief?” I asked instead.
“Is your dragon mate not capable of such a simple task?” Gondo asked.
“He’s busy. And he doesn’t know I want to trap her.”
“Her? A female dwarf thief?” Gondo’s green ears perked. “Dwarf women are buxom and sturdy and know about tools. They’re most pleasing.”
“Uh huh. This one is from Asia and is half-human. She might not know about tools.”
Instead, she knew about undead minions, which was much less appealing.
“Disappointing,” Gondo said. “I will sketch some trap ideas. Freysha will help.”
“There’s some rope in the back.” I pointed a thumb over my shoulder. “If you haven’t already used it for something.”
“Rope? Our traps will be sublime and sophisticated. We have no need for simple rope.”
“But aluminum cans are okay?”
“Aluminum cans are a fabulous invention unique to this world.” His voice had grown dreamy. “Fabulous.”
I drove through Duvall, continuing past larger mostly wooded properties, and finally turned onto the gravel dead-end street where my mother had rented a cabin. Tall pines and firs filled the yards and provided privacy. The homes were all on acreage, so I understood why my mother had chosen the area, even if I wished it were more conveniently located to the city.
“Do you think she’ll like me?” Freysha whispered as we passed a wooden bear-holding-a-trout mailbox, followed by a mailbox with foxes painted on the side. Maybe Dimitri’s yard art would fit in here.
“Sure,” I said. “Why not?”
“I’m the offspring of… the other woman.”
“I think my mom is the other woman.”
“Not from her point of view.”
“You’re making my head hurt.”
I turned onto Mom’s gravel driveway and parked the Jeep, noticing that she’d added a new outbuilding since the last time I’d visited. Between the pottery shed and the wood shed, a wooden cylinder with a door in the end now rested on its side. It looked like a giant whiskey barrel had fallen over.
“What is that thing and why is it a circle?” I wondered.
“The bottom is flat,” Gondo said. “That means it’s an arc, not a circle. The arc is the strongest structural shape.”
Freysha nodded. “In an arc, stress is distributed equally instead of being concen
trated at any one point.”
“Thanks for the engineering tips. Maybe Mom got a new storage shed. An unstressed storage shed.” I stepped out of the Jeep.
The door on the strange wooden building opened, and my mother walked out. Naked.
I almost fell over.
She lifted a hand to wave, then realized I hadn’t come alone. She stepped back into the building, wrapped a towel around herself, and came out again.
Rocket barked from inside the cabin, and I spotted golden fur and a nose pressed against a window by the front door.
“Your warning is a little late,” Mom called to him.
“I’m positive I told you to stay inside until I got here to help.” I waved for Mom to go into the cabin and put on clothes. “Not wander the premises naked. You’re an easy target.”
“I am not. The sauna is sturdy. Besides, I checked the tracks, and it looks like a bear came to visit.” She waved toward the dense trees behind the cabin. “Not an assassin or anyone else nettlesome.”
Gondo jumped out of the Jeep with his tool briefcase. I had no idea where he’d gotten that thing, but it was stained on one side, dented on the corners, and looked like it had been fished out of a mud puddle.
“This is very exciting,” Gondo said. “I did not know there would be nudity.”
“If you find my mom exciting, you’re weird.”
“Really, Val. I’ve aged well, and I keep myself in shape.”
“She is a silver coyote,” Gondo said, fortunately more with reverence than lust, though he definitely checked her out.
“Silver fox is the term,” I said, “and she’s way too old for you.”
“Really, Val.” Mom sniffed and started for the house, her bare feet hardened enough not to mind the gravel. She couldn’t truly be irked that I was trying to keep a goblin from ogling her, could she? Maybe I shouldn’t have said she was too old for Gondo but was instead too regal, or sophisticated, or sane.
Mom paused when Freysha stepped uncertainly out of the Jeep. She glanced at me. “Did you bring another elf to interview me?”
“No. This is my half-sister, Freysha. I brought her to help me trap a thief.”
Freysha did the typical elven greeting of a bow-curtsey. “Good morning, Lady Thorvald.” Then she switched to elvish and said something else.
My mother nodded. “I only remember a little, but yes. You’re Eireth’s daughter?”
“Yes. It is nice to meet you. I have been teaching Val to use her magic.”
“Oh?” Mom looked at me again, eyebrows rising.
I hadn’t spoken much to her about my lessons, knowing she had always loved elven culture and abilities and wished she had the ability to learn magic.
“Is she a good student?” Mom asked.
“She tries hard.”
Mom snorted.
“Thanks, Freysha,” I said dryly, though I doubted Freysha had meant that as an insult.
“Sometimes, my gentle forest magic is not to her tastes,” Freysha explained, seeming confused by my sarcasm. “She wishes to hurl fireballs and scorch enemies to ash.”
“Shocking,” Mom said.
“Only the really bad enemies,” I said. “For nuisances, I’d only torch their clothing or their eyebrows. Just enough to teach them not to mess with me.”
“You wouldn’t torch tools, right?” Gondo asked. “Tools should be respected by all.”
“Wrenches don’t usually piss me off. Though pliers can be pesky.”
“Why is it that you think I’m the strange one in the family?” Mom asked me.
“You’re standing naked and sweaty in the driveway, and you have to ask me that?”
“I was using my new Finnish sauna. It’s the key to health and longevity. Perhaps you should try it.”
“Is nudity required?”
“Yes.”
Gondo raised his wrench. “I’ll try it.”
“No,” I said, relieved when I sensed Zav approaching, not only because his presence should put an end to the awkward conversation but because he could give me an update on Sindari. A good update, I hoped.
“Come inside, everyone.” Mom extended an arm to the door. “I have coffee and tea.”
“Coffee?” Gondo’s ears rotated and perked like a German Shepherd’s. “What kind?”
Mom seemed puzzled by the question but had a better answer than I would have. “It’s the After Dark blend from River Trail Roasters.”
“After Dark sounds perfect for goblins,” I said.
“I haven’t tried them before.” The ears perked further with keen interest. “I love trying new roasters. Organic? Fair trade?”
“I believe so. You can look at the bag.”
I imagined Gondo stuffing his nose in it and inhaling deeply.
“Will Lord Zavryd be joining us?” Freysha looked toward the western sky, the direction he was flying in from.
“Probably. After he lectures me for leaving the house. Mom, will you go put some clothes on, please? Before making the coffee?”
“I suppose, but it’s not like making bacon. Burns are uncommon.”
“You burning yourself isn’t my primary concern,” I said as Zav soared in over the trees, his wings spread, his black scales gleaming under the morning sun.
“Oh, my.” Mom gaped up at him.
I tried to shoo her inside again—toward the direction of her closet—but she seemed enthralled by his magnificence. Zav was magnificent—I assumed he wasn’t bothering to hide himself from mundane humans this morning—and I supposed it didn’t matter if he met my mother naked. He had few qualms about nudity, as evinced from his perpetual lack of underwear under the robe.
Zav shifted into human form as he landed next to my Jeep, violet eyes focusing on me. “My mate, you did not wait for me in the safety of your abode.”
“Sorry. My mom was visited by a bear. I thought it might be a thief. You’ve met my mother, right?” I extended a hand toward Mom, who wasn’t doing as good a job as she should have been using her towel to cover herself. With a flash of insight, I knew what it was like for Amber to go out in public places with me. To her, I was the embarrassing one. Well, at least I clothed myself.
“Yes,” Zav stated. “First in Greemaw’s valley. She had fantasies about shooting me.”
“We all did,” I said. “You were kind of a dick then.”
“I was pursuing a mission and believed you were a criminal and an obstacle.” Zav smoothed a hand down his silver-trimmed black elven robe, looking much the same as he had back then, save for his footwear. Once again, he was in the hole-filled yellow Crocs.
I had a terrible suspicion that he found them more comfortable than the elven slippers or any of the other footwear he’d tried on. Horrific.
“Now, you know how delightful I am. And my mom…” I wasn’t sure what to say about her. Her nudity had me flustered. “Just got a new sauna.”
“What is a sauna?” Zav asked.
“That thing.” I waved toward it. “It’s hot inside, and you sweat. It’s not sexy, and there aren’t bubbles, not like the hot tub. I doubt you’d like it.”
“It is hot?” Why did he sound intrigued? “This part of your planet is damp and chilly. Often.”
“Uh huh. You can check it out later. Any news about Sindari?”
Zav gripped his chin thoughtfully and gazed at the sauna.
“I will go and look around to see if elves beyond those your mother knows about have been here,” Freysha said. “With my magic, I may also be able to detect if a half-dwarf was here.”
“Thank you, Freysha.” I poked Zav in the ribs. “Sindari?”
“Yes.” He clasped my hands. “He has been healed. By the dragon I spoke to you about.”
“The Silverclaw matriarch who hates Stormforge dragons and would eat me if we met?”
“Yes. I came to give you this.” Zav produced Sindari’s charm from some magic pocket. “Then I must return to my world. To five worlds. In exchange for this small fa
vor, she has demanded the still-warm liver of a branoth, the succulent bone marrow of a fran-fran, the eyeballs of an ornax, the rare Cerunian ink fish, and the testicles of a yorak.”
“What lady doesn’t like yorak testicles?”
Zav tilted his head. “Is this something you desire at the wedding feast? Perhaps I could capture yorak and bring them to Earth for the hunt.”
“No, no.” I lifted a hand, reminded that I had to be careful with my sarcasm around the not-from-around-here Zav. “Not necessary.”
“You are certain?”
“Very certain.”
I took Sindari’s charm, eager and also nervous to summon him. Even though I believed Zav spoke the truth, I worried that Sindari might have been irreparably damaged or that the undead taint had changed him somehow.
It might not have been long enough for him to recover on his home world before being called forth again, but I rubbed the charm to summon him, hoping he could come for a few minutes.
“I am still attempting to get my brothers and mother and sister to agree to come to the wedding,” Zav said. “They were unwilling to discuss it once I informed them of the problem on Dun Kroth. A meeting is being called. In addition to hunting for Vanishna-kova’s required foods, I must return in time to attend it.”
“I’m sorry you have to fly all over the world—worlds—to do favors for the grumpy dragon, but I do appreciate you helping Sindari. And me.” I hugged him as Sindari’s familiar silver mist formed.
“You will show me your appreciation later.” Zav hugged me back and pressed his cheek against my hair, lips brushing my ear.
Oh, that was appealing. It made me regret that we were at my mother’s cabin instead of back home.
“I will.” I kissed him on the neck.
Sindari sighed telepathically—and out loud. You brought me into your world to see you nuzzling your mate?
No, to check on you. I released Zav and turned to hug Sindari. The nasty gouges in his side were gone, as was the evil purple glow that had hovered over them. Are you well?
Well enough to go into battle again. He gazed around the driveway, cabin, and… Why was my mother still outside and still naked? Now she was just taunting me; I was sure of it. She’d stopped to point at a couple of sparrows flitting around one of her feeders. Gondo stood beside her, though he shifted from foot to foot, and I was positive he didn’t care about birds and only wanted coffee.
Secrets of the Sword 2 (Death Before Dragons Book 8) Page 13