Paul sighed and pushed the coffee mug toward Tono. “Suit yourself.”
He watched Tono, mesmerized by the simple act of adding creamer and two cubes of sugar into the large mug. Paul fixated on Tono’s hands, which were large, in keeping with the rest of him. His nails were cut short, buffed but not polished, and there were soft tufts of light brown hair just above his knuckles. He curved his long, thick fingers around the white mug and practically moaned with contentment after he took a sip. “Thank God your coffee isn’t watered down like in most places.”
“I like strong coffee,” Paul replied. “Just like my men.”
Paul wanted to bite his tongue, regretting his words instantly, because for one thing they weren’t true, and the last thing he needed was for Tono to think that he was flirting with him. He had never been attracted to alpha males, being one himself, and this attraction between him and Tono was disconcerting, to say the least. It was throwing him off his game, and retaining the upper hand was paramount to making any sort of business relationship work between them.
Tono raised his brows. “I thought you preferred the weaker variety.”
“Whatever gave you that idea?”
“Mick told me you liked to be in control all the time.”
“Are we talking about the same thing?”
Tono sipped the coffee, never taking his eyes off Paul. He looked for all intents and purposes like a jungle cat about to pounce. His normally soft brown eyes had a glint to them this morning, a touch of wildness which Paul had never seen before. And really, knowing Mick’s penchant for a varied and somewhat kinky sex life, he should have expected that Tono would have a side to him that kept Mick satisfied in and out of bed. The Spaniard was almost playing with him, and he was succeeding, judging by the growing heat in and around his groin.
“Let’s get on with this, okay?” Paul said abruptly, tearing his eyes away from Tono’s hypnotic stare. He’d had enough for now and didn’t want a repeat of that night at the Chelsea apartment. Actually, he did. He wanted nothing more than to shove his cock up the bastard’s tight ass, show him who was in charge, and make him scream with pleasure as he battered him ruthlessly. The image of Tono spread out on his desk with his ass in the air, begging him, made Paul blush, a fact that did not go unnoticed.
Tono stared at Paul and cocked his head. “Is anything wrong?”
Paul shook his head violently, shocked by his thoughts and the intensity of his reaction. Whatever was happening between them wasn’t going away. They both knew it, although Tono ignored it, or did his best to hide behind the very subtle game they were playing.
“Nothing’s wrong, Tono. Where’s the manuscript?”
Tono’s beguiling gaze shifted to the thick binder on the floor. He reached down and lifted the hefty document, dropping it on the desk. “I can’t make any sense of your scribble, Pol. There’s more red than black on this page,” Tono accused.
“That’s because it’s a piece of shit.”
“Hey!”
Paul picked up the manuscript and slammed it back down on the desk. “Let’s get one thing straight, Tono. If I’m going to be in charge, I have to speak my mind without worrying about your delicate ego.”
“Who said I was fucking delicate!” Tono shouted.
“You want to do this? Then, let’s do it right. First off, you need to change the point of view. It’s not compelling in third person. Make it first person, your voice, not some random voice from outer space. Tell me what you’re feeling, Tono, and speak to me, the reader. I need to know what you’re thinking. I don’t give a damn what color the sky was the day you met Mick, or whether the sea was blue or gray. I need to know how your blood boiled when you looked into his amazing eyes. Drop the floral descriptions. This is not about teenagers in love, nor is this some fucking sonnet. I want to know how Mick made your cock stiff with need, and how his touch made you tremble. Engage me from page one or I’ll throw this in the trash bin with the other manuscripts I reject on a daily basis.”
“¡Por Dios!”
“Exactly! You want me, the reader, to be in your moment, to feel your pain, your love for Mick, your need, your desperation. I’m not getting any of that with what you’ve given me.”
“I’m not sure I know how to do that.”
“That’s where I come in. You write the words―I’ll edit.”
“But, Pol, you’re asking me to bare my soul and turn myself inside out.”
“That’s what makes a good writer, Tono. You’re just another hack if you only skim the surface.”
“Give me an example.”
Paul reached for the manuscript and picked a random sentence. “Here,” Paul stabbed at the paper. “‘The radio was playing ‘Momentos’ when we walked into the bar and we saw a foreigner holding a drink’.” Paul’s steely eyes bore into Tono’s, daring him to question his literary authority. “First of all, how did you know he was a foreigner? Did he have a sign on him―an American flag that said I don’t belong here?”
Tono shrugged. “Because I said so?”
“Bullshit! This is not writing by numbers, Tono. Show me, don’t tell me. What if you said, ‘The bar was no different that night, except for the eye candy in faded Levi’s making pouring motions over his glass, trying to get someone’s attention. He looked up when I walked in, burning holes into me with eyes that were a cross between purple irises and clumps of lavender. I felt the pull, despite the layers of people in between us, and I knew that tonight would change my life.’”
“It did,” Tono said softly, looking at Paul in wonder. “I felt all of that the first time I laid eyes on Mick.”
“I know! Doesn’t that paint a clearer picture? The man is an obvious tourist, most likely an American because of the Levi’s, and gorgeous to boot. I want to know more about him. What happened next?”
Tono nodded in understanding. “It will take me a long time to convert this entire story into first person.”
“We’ve got all the time in the world, Tono.”
“We do, but Mick doesn’t. I want to finish this before he―”
“Stop right there,” Paul ordered. “Mick’s not going anywhere.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“I just am. He’s going to beat this.”
“You’re dreaming, Pol. I thought you were a realist. There’s no beating ALS.”
“Maybe I used the wrong word, Tono. Mick will manage to live with this fucking disease and continue to be productive. He’ll tame it, and you and I will help him make it work.”
“Your arrogance is comforting for once.”
“Well, someone’s got to have balls around here.” Paul smiled cheekily.
“Oh, I’ve got plenty of cojones, my friend.”
“Don’t I know it,” Paul admitted, caught by Tono’s beguiling stare that promised all kinds of pleasure. “You are way too hot for my own good,” Paul whispered.
“I think for once I agree with you. I am attracted to you despite the fact that I don’t like you very much.”
Paul laughed. “And that’s the worst part, isn’t it? We want to tear each other’s clothes off, but we’re both in love with Mick.”
“I don’t know what you feel for him, but I know that I would rather cut off my own legs than hurt him. And sleeping with you, without his permission or his presence, would hurt him.”
“Agreed.” Paul stood abruptly. “Take your manuscript and work on Chapter 1. I’d like to see it in a few days. What sort of writing schedule do you keep?”
Tono snorted. “Mick is so right about you.”
“What do you mean?”
“He said you shit on command.”
“That’s downright nasty.”
“Tell me you don’t go each day at the same time. You have a fixed schedule even for that, huh?” Tono smirked.
“Shut up, you big lug. Get the hell out of here and go work on your love story. By the way, what the fuck are you calling this?”
“A L
ove Story,” Tono replied. “What else?”
“Already in print. Think of another title.”
“You think of one,” Tono countered.
“What about Spanish Fly?”
Tono plucked Paul’s belt, wrenching him forward. He tilted his hip and began a slow grind, pleased to feel the instant reaction from his self-professed critic. He whispered lewdly, “How about Irresistible?”
“You’re a bastard of the first order.”
“And you,” Tono baited, “can’t resist me.”
Paul shoved him away. “Go.”
Chapter 21
“¡COÑO, COÑO, COÑO!”
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Mick moved his laptop off to the side and sort of rolled over to see what Tono was complaining about. They were in bed and working on their individual stories, comfortable in the silence. Tono’s morning meeting with Paul must have inspired him, because as soon as they had finished dinner and Mick’s nightly ablution was completed, Tono reached for his laptop. Everything was going great until five minutes ago when he appeared to have lost his train of thought.
“He wants me to change this entire story to first person. That’s impossible!”
“No, it’s not,” Mick said encouragingly. “Paul knows what he’s talking about.”
“You’re always so quick to defend him,” Tono accused. He shoved his laptop off to the side and turned to Mick. He was edgy all of a sudden, almost poised for a fight.
“Only when I think he’s right,” Mick said, wondering where this was coming from. He thought they had this worked out, but apparently not.
“You make excuses for him all the time, cariño. I’m sick of it.”
“Majo… what’s this about, really?”
“I don’t know,” Tono grumbled. “I guess I’m in a bad mood.”
“You’re entitled to have those occasionally,” Mick purred. “Would a little loving help?”
“Maybe.” Tono bit his lip and grinned.
“Let me fix that problem,” Mick whispered seductively. “You want to play?”
“Sure.”
“Alone, or do you want company?”
Tono looked surprised. “What do you mean?”
“We could ask Paul to join us and make it more interesting.”
“No,” Tono said vehemently, “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“Why? I know you’re attracted to him.”
“No, I’m not!”
“Majo, come on, be honest about this.”
“I don’t like him.”
“That’s not what I said.” Mick rubbed his hand in circles around Tono’s chest. He took a nipple in between his thumb and forefinger and squeezed it gently, loving the moan that came out of Tono’s throat. “You want to fuck him, don’t you?”
“Mick… por Dios.”
“Tono, you don’t have to feel guilty about it.”
“Aren’t you even a little bit jealous?”
“No. The idea of the two of you having sex is hot as hell.”
“You’re not normal.”
“I’m no different than I’ve ever been. Are we changing the rules because I’m sick?”
Tono sighed and rubbed his face with his hand. “I’m confused.”
“Why, amor? You know I’ve always enjoyed three-ways, and I thought you did too.”
“Mick, we’re talking about your ex-lover, who is in love with you and would gladly murder me if he could get away with it.”
“Paul has accepted you and his role in our lives. You’re the one making this difficult.”
“¡Joder! Am I supposed to let him in and out of our bed whenever the mood strikes and then continue on as if nothing has happened? Call me old-fashioned, but I tend to have feelings for the people I fuck!”
Mick pushed himself up to a sitting position. His arms were still strong enough to allow that without the help of his legs, which were as useless as a fish’s tail out of water. “What’s going to happen down the road, Tono? Have you really thought about our future?”
“What do you mean?”
“I know we’ve talked about this before, but let’s address it again. I’m not sure how long I’ll be able to have sex, despite what Samuel and the doctors have said,” Mick said dispassionately, as if he were discussing a stranger. “You’re young, virile, and very attractive; the thought of you being in a relationship devoid of any passion worries me. I want you to be happy, majo, in and out of bed.”
“Cariño―”
“No!” Mick shrugged off Tono’s outstretched arm, “Please, this is important to me―let me finish. I don’t want you to ever resent being with me! If Paul can provide the extra loving I may not be able to give you in the future, then so be it.”
Tono’s face betrayed his shock. “Is that why you want him around?”
“Of course not―not initially,” Mick amended. “The whole physical attraction was just as much a surprise to me as it was to you. I didn’t think I’d feel anything after all these years, and I had no idea he still wanted me. If you were honest about it, you’d admit that our evening together was quite memorable.”
Tono jerked away in anger. “You’re crazy! Don’t try and fix me up with him. He’s nothing to me but a source of irritation, Mick. How dare you even think that I would settle for him, when all I want is you?”
“I realize it’s complicated, Tono. You know how I feel about him.”
“Yes, and it pisses me off!”
“It has nothing to do with my love for you.”
“Mick, I’m sorry, but I believe that when two people are in love, there’s no room for a third person. Screwing around with others for fun is one thing; this is entirely different. Feelings are involved. ”
“There’s no rule that says you can’t love two people at one time, if you love them in a different way.”
“Mick, I don’t need two lovers to make me happy, and this conversation is unbelievable!” Tono stood abruptly and grabbed his shorts, which he’d left on the chair earlier. He pulled them up and snarled, “I’m going to get a drink. Do you want anything?”
“No.” Mick’s voice shook, and he buried his face in his hands, afraid to see the disgust in Tono’s gaze. “Don’t be angry,” he murmured.
Tono’s heart gave a lurch when he saw Mick’s reaction. “Cariño, no llores.”
Mick removed his hands and stared at his partner with tears in his eyes. “I can’t control my tears, Tono. Please, don’t go.”
“I’m only going to get a drink, amor.”
“You know that’s not what I mean.”
Tono sat on the bed and pulled Mick into his embrace. He felt his trembling and heard him trying to stifle his sobs. It made him crazy to know that he’d caused this new pain. Tono twisted his way around to get to Mick’s mouth and kissed him passionately, tasting the salty tears that streaked down his face. “I don’t need anyone but you, cariño. I’m content. You’ve given me enough passion to last a lifetime.”
“I wish I could believe that, Tono, but it’s unrealistic. I know you need loving on a daily basis. I can provide that for now, but what about a month, or a year from today? What then?”
“You’re treating me like some sort of sex maniac. There’s much more to our relationship than sex, Mick. It’s not the reason I love you.”
“Maybe not, but it’s a big part of it. You can deny it all you want, but when sex is taken away, everything suffers, especially the intimate connection between two people. I’m just being honest, Tono, and you’re not!” Mick cried. “I’m not trying to fix you up or replace me with Paul. I’m trying to find a solution to something that will become a problem in the future. And there’s only one other man in this world I want in my life right now, aside from you.”
“Yes, that’s quite obvious.” Tono’s voice turned frigid again. “I’ll tell you what, Mick. Why don’t I leave and go back to Spain? That way, you and Paul can live happily ever after.”
This brought a new flood of
tears, which tore at Tono’s heart.
“Cariño… Mick, I’m sorry,” Tono said.
“Tell me you didn’t mean that.”
“Of course I didn’t.”
“Why does this have to be so hard?” Mick wailed. “I just want you to be fulfilled. All your needs have been put aside for me. You’ve given up Jai alai, and you don’t even go to the gym anymore, Tono. The last thing I want is for you to look at me one day and ask what the fuck you’re doing with your life.”
“I know what I’m doing with my life. I’m with the man I love and writing a book. I’m done with Jai alai. I would have quit soon anyway. This gave me a good excuse to do it.”
“That’s crap and you know it. You’re thirty-five years old, Tono, and you’re at the height of your career. Giving it up to nurse a dying lover is admirable, but it’s going to get old. It would be different if you knew I’d be dead in six months or a year, but this could go on indefinitely. Watching you go stir-crazy from inactivity and lack of sex will kill me faster than anything else.”
“Mick, I want you to calm down.”
Mick picked up his laptop and hurled it at the wall. The cover snapped off and it fell to the floor with a thud, shocking Tono. “Tell me you have your novel backed up somewhere.”
“Of course I do! I’m not a fucking idiot!”
“Why are you so angry?”
“I don’t know!” Mick screamed, grabbing a pillow and covering his face. He began to sob uncontrollably, pushing Tono away when he tried to take him in his arms. “Get the fuck away from me.”
“Shall I get Paul?” Tono sighed, expecting a positive reply, but he was relieved when Mick shook his head and mumbled, “No.”
“I’ll be in the living room if you need me. Just yell and I’ll come.”
“Go away!”
Mick continued to cry, distraught that the conversation had escalated into a fight so quickly. A lot was said in anger, but truth had a way of rising to the top, and he had blurted out his innermost thoughts without thinking. He had hoped to work out the logistics before ever attempting to convince Tono.
Time would have taken care of Paul and Tono’s attraction. Mick’s body was falling apart, but his brain was as sharp as ever, and he could feel the raw sexual energy whenever the two were around each other. He should have let things lie and wait for them to give in to their mutual need. Surprisingly, he had wanted to spare them any guilt by giving his blessing. He meant every word he’d said tonight. There was no jealousy. Maybe it had to do with the realization that he was, in fact, dying, and the thought of Tono being alone was hard to imagine. He was a loving and passionate man who thrived in a relationship, as did Paul. He knew that Paul had so much to give, yet he had not had a serious relationship since their breakup. Maybe it was too farfetched to expect Tono and Paul to care for each other; his love for both of them didn’t ensure that. But, if Tono would just accept this for what it was, a physical need being met, the rest might come more easily. Mick’s only desire was for them to find some sort of comfort together. They would need it down the road, and for once in his life, Mick was planning ahead.
Loving Edits Page 14