Loving Edits

by Mickie B. Ashling

  With the advent of Mick’s disease and his own semi-retirement, the spotlight had shifted from his public life to his more private, personal one. Journalists were starting to question his need to retire. Why did he leave Spain and what was the true nature of his relationship to the American? They’d been able to ward off most of the probing, and his agent had been busy spinning a tale for the public. However, having a third man in and out of his life would not only be hard to explain, it would make any sort of damage control impossible if the true nature of their relationship were to get out. No one would understand it.

  Tono stopped running. His legs were starting to cramp, and he was wheezing like a sixty-year-old, an indication that he’d neglected his body, making him even more angry and frustrated. He realized the full extent of his downfall, going from a top athlete in perfect physical and mental shape to this weak and insecure wreck. He swore that he would snap out of his slump and resume his training. He knew that there was no cure for his lover, but he wasn’t going to compound their misery by letting his own body go to hell. There was a gym in their building, a high tech one, judging from everything else that Alcott Press touched. He would start to train again and take out his sexual energy on a speed bag, instead of on the blond who was more than happy to share himself with both men.

  Chapter 25

  “MICK, what a nice surprise!”

  Paul couldn’t have been more shocked if Mick had walked in of his own volition. Part of it, of course, was because he’d just come from his morning encounter with Tono. He had no idea if the Spaniard had confessed and if that was the reason Mick was here. Paul couldn’t remember anyone mentioning that Mick would be downtown today, so when Linda announced that Mick was in the building and calling from the lobby, he was a little taken aback upon hearing Mick say, “Buy me lunch, sweetheart?”

  Paul put the phone down after agreeing to meet Mick and Samuel at the restaurant on the mezzanine floor. It was a modest but excellent place to have a meal. The Char House was usually packed with businessmen in need of a quiet place to bring their clients for lunch. They were known for great steaks and burgers, and they had an extensive soup and salad bar for those with a limited amount of time to eat.

  He leaned back and swiveled his chair around so he now looked out the plate glass window. The view of his city was the same, an endless vista of towering skyscrapers, which normally calmed him down because he knew he was home. But he wasn’t seeing any of it today―he was too caught up in the immediacy of Mick’s sudden appearance. Was he here to berate him and tell him to get out of his life? He wouldn’t be surprised if that were the case, although understanding the reason behind it would be difficult. After all, Mick was the only one among the three of them who was truly comfortable with the thought of making a life with his past and present lovers. Paul wasn’t that keen on sharing him, and Tono was completely against it, judging from his earlier behavior.

  He had probably run downstairs, still reeking of sex, and had come clean as soon as he walked through the fucking door. Paul shook his head, hoping this wasn’t the case. He didn’t want to alienate Mick again, and more importantly sever his business relationship with his bestselling author over a sexual encounter that didn’t mean anything. Tono was an outstanding lover, and Paul’s body still tingled with the memory of this morning’s amazing orgasm, but he wasn’t good enough to replace Mick or destroy a longstanding relationship that had just been renewed. Paul Senior would have certainly criticized him for allowing business to mix with pleasure. It was a dumb move on his part, and one he had every intention of never repeating again.

  Paul was astonished that he’d thought of his father at a time like this, but on the other hand, he wasn’t. His father hadn’t liked Mick very much and blamed him for Paul’s homosexuality. He refused to acknowledge that it was Paul’s orientation rather than Mick’s influence. Just as he refused to believe that Mick wrote the bestselling novel and not Paul.

  He’d accused Mick of plagiarism when Paul first brought him the manuscript to read. Paul Senior believed that it was his son’s talent behind the young author, and he couldn’t understand why Paul would allow Mick to put his name on the manuscript rather than admit he had written it. He had refused to listen to reason until Paul had given him clear proof that he had not written Mick’s story. Paul Senior was shocked that his son and heir was second best, and the look on his face pushed Paul over the edge, making him lash out at Mick. The night he’d decided to bring another man into his bed, to throw Mick out of his life, was the last time Paul Senior had addressed the subject of his literary dreams for his son. It made the incident with Mick pale in comparison. The very idea that he’d disappointed his father was reason enough for him to break his lover’s heart.

  He shoved the thoughts of his deceased father out of his head. The man was gone, but thankfully, he’d lived long enough to change his mind about Paul Junior. Paul’s rise in publishing was legendary; he wasn’t second best to anyone in his world. His software had earned him literary and financial acclaim, reversing his father’s opinion of him as any sort of failure. His success was the balm that Paul Senior needed to make up for his son’s lack of talent as a writer.

  He stepped down from the pedestal his desk sat upon and made a mental note to have it replaced. It was time he remodeled his office, making it more to his own taste. There was no need to retain any of his father’s idiosyncrasies since he was long gone, as was his world. It was the twenty-first century and a new era in the world of publishing. Paul had accomplished much in his thirty-six years, primarily with his software, but the addition of an e-publishing branch had elevated his company into the modern world. That and the new GBLT department had strengthened Alcott Press far more than anything else he could have done as a writer.

  He nodded at Linda on the way out of his office, and he walked over to the bank of elevators that took him down to the restaurant. He spied Mick immediately, sitting at a corner table, along with his trainer, Samuel. He’d met the Jamaican one time and remembered liking him. He had the great accent, a body to die for, and seemed like a genuinely caring individual, something positive for Mick. He couldn’t imagine living a life of helplessness, but if he had a choice, he would have Samuel helping him in a heartbeat.

  He bussed Mick on the cheek, greeted Samuel with a handshake, and pulled out a chair in front of both men. “So, to what do I owe this honor?”

  “I was in town shopping for a new laptop and thought we’d have lunch.”

  “Where’s Tono?”

  “He didn’t feel like coming. I asked, but he refused.”

  “Boss, mon, you think I could leave Mick in your capable hands for a couple of hours? I have a client close by and need to stop in on him. I didn’t think this would be an all day affair.”

  “I’m sorry, Samuel. I didn’t mean to keep you,” Mick said with an apologetic smile.

  “Hey, no worries, mon. I had a good time.”

  “You can go, Samuel. I’ll make sure that Mick gets home.”

  “What about the wheelchair?”

  “It’ll be fine,” Paul stated. “Have you decided what you want to eat?” he asked Mick, summarily dismissing Samuel.

  “A cheeseburger and fries would be great,” Mick said and turned his attention back to his trainer. “Bye, Samuel. Thanks for the help with shopping.”

  “I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why do you need a new laptop?” Paul asked. “And why isn’t Tono with you?”

  Mick laughed. “Why are you so full of questions?”

  Paul stared at his former love and basked in the glow of his smile. He really was an incredibly beautiful human being. “I’m just being nosy. If I had a sexy boyfriend like you, I wouldn’t let him out of my sight.”

  “Ahh, but you did,” Mick reminded him.

  “Ancient history, Mick. That was then, but now it’s different.”

  “Changing subject,” Mick said. “My lap
top met its demise last night when I had a slight meltdown.”

  “What happened?”

  “Nothing,” Mick answered. His expression changed almost instantly as a dark thought crossed his mind. “It’s personal, between me and Tono.”

  “Is he giving you a hard time for any reason?” Paul asked, reaching out and holding Mick’s hand. “Tell me and I’ll go and kick his ass.”

  “Yeah, right,” Mick teased. “He’s a good fifty pounds heavier than you.”

  “I didn’t mean literally,” Paul sneered. “There are other ways I can take him down.”

  “Oh no, you don’t. No emotional blackmail, remember?”

  “Now I’m changing the subject,” Paul said, pulling his hand away and reaching for the menu. “What kind of laptop did you buy?” he asked as he reviewed his choices. He wasn’t that hungry, but he did have to eat something.

  “An Apple.”

  “That’s nice,” Paul said automatically, his mind clearly on his lunch. “I think I’ll have an open-face turkey on whole wheat, with a house salad on the side.” Paul handed the menu to the waiter who hovered nearby. “And my friend here will have a cheeseburger and fries.”

  “What kind of dressing would you like?” the waiter asked patiently.

  “Ranch.”

  He took the menu from Paul’s hand and left them alone. “Now, then,” Paul said, turning his attention back to Mick. “What was the fight really about?”

  “What does it matter, Paul?”

  “I’m concerned about you,” Paul said gently. “I want to make sure that you’re okay.”

  “I’m fine, sweetheart.”

  “Mick, don’t bullshit me!” Paul snapped. “I can tell you’re upset. This whole impromptu visit had to have a reason. Is there anything I can do to make this better for you?”

  Mick’s eyes filled suddenly. “I guess I’m being unrealistic, wanting it all.”

  “What all? What do you want?”

  He shook his head and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “Never mind. I’m sorry for being such a queen.”

  “Babe… tell me, please.”

  “I want both of you, Paul. I want us to be together,” Mick whispered, afraid someone else would hear him.

  “Together? Do you mean what I think you mean?”

  “Yes. I want all three of us in a relationship. I love you both and need you in different ways. I know you’d be okay with this, once you wrapped your head around the idea. I’m not oblivious to the attraction between you and Tono. “

  Whoa. Paul sat and stared as Mick. “Attraction?”

  “Don’t deny it, Paul. I can smell the need between you, and I’m more than willing to share; I want you and Tono to have sex again. He’s an amazing lover, and I’m not sure how long I’ll be able to satisfy him.”

  “Wait a damn minute,” Paul said, throwing down his napkin. “You want me to service your lover to keep him around?”

  Mick’s mouth quivered and his eyes filled again, making them look like jewels in a pool of water. “It’s not like that. I want you both to be happy and fulfilled, so I can stop worrying. Paul, you’re my past, but Tono could be your future, just as I am the present reality you both have to deal with.”

  “Babe.” Paul calmed down upon seeing Mick’s reaction. “It’s not me you have to worry about. I’ll be fine.”

  “Paul,” Mick’s voice trembled as he asked, “do you have any idea how awful this is going to get? You’ll need each other to stay sane.”

  “I couldn’t possibly replace you,” Paul said honestly. “Tono couldn’t make up for my loss.”

  “Maybe not, but you could comfort each other when my situation becomes unbearable. You’ll both want someone to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, and a listening ear who will sympathize without judging. You’re going to want to vent, Paul, to take out your anger or frustration at what’s happening. Let’s stop pretending this will not get ugly, because it will!”

  “This is not really for me to decide, is it? I’m the third wheel, the expendable one. Tono is your partner.”

  Mick looked down at his lap. He seemed afraid to look Paul in the eye, for some reason, so Paul waited in silence. Finally, Mick looked up and said, “Do you believe me when I say that I love you both?”

  “Is it really possible to love two people at once?” Paul asked seriously. “I’ve never done this before, so I don’t know.”

  “Does a parent love one child less than the other? The heart has an infinite capacity for love, Paul. Who made up the rule that said you can only love one person at a time?”

  “I get the whole child bit, although not really, since I’m an only, as are you! I have no concept of the word ‘sharing’. Aren’t you being a little unrealistic, expecting Tono and me to share you in ways that most people would find unnatural?”

  “What could be more natural than loving someone?”

  “Babe, you’re asking for the moon.”

  “I know,” Mick admitted, “but you’ve always promised me that.”

  Paul blinked. He had promised Mick the moon, and the stars, on many occasions, and he’d failed to deliver. Apparently, he was being given another chance at it. “You know I love you, don’t you? That I’ve never stopped?”

  “Are you ever going to tell me what really happened?” Mick asked. “Why you turned on me?”

  “Some day.”

  “Tick-tock, sweetheart.”

  “Shut up, Mick. You have lots of time yet.”

  “I love your confidence in my staying power. It’s one reason I want you around.”

  “I’m a fighter, babe. ALS isn’t going to get me down, and I won’t let it suck you into a black hole. I will do anything in my power to keep you here.”

  “My hero.” Mick reached for Paul’s hand and held it. “You have any idea how much I love you?”

  “I do now,” Paul answered, ignoring the sting of his own tears. It wouldn’t do for the great Paul Alcott to turn into a blubbering mess in public, although he was close.

  “Help me?” Mick asked again. “With Tono?”

  Paul shook his head sadly. “I have no idea how to do that. If you want me to talk to him, I will, but seriously, Mick, you need to convince him, not me.”

  “I’m working on it,” Mick said. He sighed as his meal was placed in front of him, and picked up a french fry. “Let’s eat, okay?”

  Chapter 26

  LUNCH was enjoyable once they got started. Both men were eager to carry on normally after the earlier discussion, which really was a bit off the wall. Mick appreciated Paul’s honesty and his listening ear, but agreed that he shouldn’t interfere with Tono’s decision. His lover would have to walk into this willingly, or it would never work.

  Paul took charge after their meal. With the help of security, they transferred Mick to the Bentley and stored his wheelchair in the trunk. It felt like old times, riding up front with Paul, who insisted on driving. He assured everyone that he would be able to handle the heavy lifting once they got back to the Terraces.

  A brisk wind had kicked up and paper debris was flying on the streets. Mick smiled at the comical sight of inverted umbrellas and women hanging onto skirts as he glanced out the window on their way uptown. Fall was making its appearance in a big way, and he wondered how many more seasons he would be able to enjoy.

  He tried not to think about the distant future very often. It sent him into a tailspin, and he’d end up depressed and weepy, a condition so alien to his personality it frightened him and Tono whenever it made its appearance.

  Mick was a happy and optimistic person. His parents had been a deeply committed couple who were very much in love and enjoyed each other’s company. As a result, Mick was never subjected to the darker side of relationships or life in general. Even the day he announced his sexual orientation was relatively peaceful, despite his parents’ shock and disappointment. They had counted on grandchildren and had to stifle their dreams in that regard. Since Mick was an only
child, they turned their disappointment into something positive and began volunteering at the local children’s hospital. This satisfied their need to have little ones in their life, and they became well known as the couple who could be called on at all hours to help out. It was during a late night ride to the hospital when they were killed after being hit by a drunk driver. Mick’s only consolation after being informed of their death was knowing they’d died together, doing something they loved and enjoyed.

  This abundance of love was probably the reason Mick had no qualms about sharing himself and his heart with more than one person. He knew it was uncommon―most people were not hard-wired this way. He’d felt no jealousy the first time he and Paul had picked up someone to join them for a night of sex. Paul had been a little shocked, but a few glasses of Chivas had helped to convince him that it was hot to watch Mick fucking a stranger. Paul got right on board after that, and each time they had an encounter with a third party, it was always exciting and never filled with regret or recrimination. Both men understood it was a kink and had nothing to do with their emotional tie.

  Tono, on the other hand, had been raised in a region of the world that was still judgmental and staunchly Catholic. The concept of a three-way had scandalized him when it was first broached, but Mick had been able to coax Tono with a little help from his friend Jose Cuervo. By the time the fourth shot glass was downed and the limes chewed and sucked, he’d passed the point of worrying what anyone said. When the casual hookup had not turned into a world-class debacle as he’d feared, he was a little more accepting. His privacy and anonymity had been spared, and he admitted that it was highly erotic―beyond anything he’d done before.

  Getting him to accept Paul in their lives was another matter altogether. Tono was fiercely protective of Mick and their union. He resented Mick and Paul’s history that he couldn’t compete with; expecting him to open his arms and his mind to the idea of sharing was as realistic as the notion he would walk again.