Divorce, Drinking and Dating

by Danielle Prahl

  YOU do not have to explain away your purchases. You are WORTH nice things. If you have a belief system that you are not, and you are explaining away your expensive purchases, you have some real work to do in your money relationship. The other thing people are guilty of is negative money talk. I HATE hearing the terms “I can’t afford it” or “I’m poor” come out of people’s mouths. You should not ever say these words. What you are really saying is, “I don’t think I deserve it,” “I don’t think I am worthy of it,” and “I don’t believe it’s possible for me.” That is a horrendous thing to believe about yourself. If you say things like, “I never have enough money,” it will continue to be true.

  Don’t tell yourself, “I can’t afford it.” That is a powerless statement. If you were so powerless, your God, your Universe, whatever you believe in would not have allowed you to exist. Sorry, but it’s true. Try saying, “I am choosing not to spend my money on that at this time.” If you have kids, this is extra important. Don’t tell them “we can’t afford it.” Instead, tell them, “We aren’t spending our money on that right now.” Try it. See how much better it feels.

  Now, that doesn’t mean anytime you see something you want you should just pull out a credit card and charge your life away, because it will somehow “all work out.” What I am saying is that we all can choose what we spend our money on. Sure, maybe that expensive purse doesn’t make sense to buy when you need to pay rent. You can simply say, “I am choosing not to spend money on that at this time.” When it makes more sense for you and you are a bit more comfortable with it, perhaps you will choose to just go ahead and buy the damn thing.

  If you see something you want that is way outside of your budget, instead of repeating how far off it is, just tell yourself, “I deserve to have nice things like that, and everything I desire to have is mine.” It just feels a lot better. Plus, it’s actually TRUE. What you tell yourself shows you what your true beliefs are, conscious or unconscious. The sooner you do some healing on that shit, the sooner you will start to live in a better way. You are going to have to do the real work.

  A big piece of striving for improvement and having a healthier relationship with money is learning to take care of yourself. This one is HUGE. Everything on our planet has an energy vibration. You need to be an energetic match for what you want and a ton of money has a higher vibration. Why? There is more of it. SO, why do we wear ourselves out and down working and slaving nonstop, lowering our own vibrations to get it? Everything in life is a reflection of ourselves, so if we have a super low and worn out vibration, our money state may reflect that. Sure, it’s not always the case, but even if you are treating yourself like a slave and are making great money, you will eventually burn out. You will also get sick of teaching yourself that making money is “hard” and then really screw up your money mindset some more. You may actually start to repel it.

  The point is, you need to work on raising your vibration. You can do that by taking one step each day to do something that brings you joy, happiness, relaxation, a smile, you name it. It can be extremely simple, or it can be extremely extravagant. It can take one minute, or it could take three hours. The choice is yours, but when you start to focus on yourself, you will be amazed how everything else in your life starts to flow without conflict. It becomes, as my mentor coined it, easy.

  Life doesn’t have to be a constant state of struggle and work. It should be fun and easy for you to make money. If it’s not, you just have some changes to make. You do not live in the same world that your parents or grandparents grew up in. Hard work is important, but it doesn’t always have to be hard. You have opportunities available to you that didn’t even exist ten or even five years ago. Think about that for a moment. Sure, it may be difficult to shift these thought processes at first, but it gets easier. When I started really paying attention to the things I said, I started to notice my beliefs around them. When I did the work to change those beliefs, my life started to reflect that. When I started taking care of myself and raising my vibration, I made more money and I worked faster and with more ease.

  For real, I even logged into my PayPal account one day to find a few extra hundred dollars from nowhere. I once received a Venmo for a thousand dollars for no reason. Clients offered me more. I received higher bonuses for the same amount of work. People gave me free stuff. It’s incredible what can happen. Sure, it could all be a load of shit and just random coincidences, but everyone I know practicing these techniques has this result. So, what do you have to lose besides struggle and frustration?

  And, let’s be honest, a lot of that struggle and frustration probably stems from how you think about spirituality, religion, God, The U. For me, my spirituality has changed overall as I’ve embraced personal development. I don’t believe in a punishment mindset and most of my life struggled to fit into a traditional religion. I have always felt that the world had this vibration and energy, and there was so much more to it than we could comprehend. I always believed in a higher power that orchestrates the universe and that everything happens for a reason. I don’t think it’s necessary to get into my specific beliefs, because everyone is different and I feel that respecting that is important.

  However, it is important to realize that taking care of yourself is taking care of your creator, whoever you choose to recognize that as. Putting yourself first is putting the person who made the universe (and you) first. Buying yourself nice things doesn’t piss that person off. Wouldn’t your parents actually want you to have the best of everything? (And if your parents are assholes, then let me apologize for using that example and just say that, yes, your parents should want you to have the best of everything). The universe and God in all of its glory and expansiveness actually want you to be happy and have all the things you can imagine. It’s just as easy for it to give you a tube of lip gloss as it is a million dollars. There is no difference to it, but it can only help you so far before your beliefs start sabotaging things.

  I have realized that there isn’t a “punishment” system. Sure, the universe or higher powers that be do generally favor those with a higher vibration, because LIKE attracts LIKE. Oil and water don’t mix. Don’t be oil and expect your world filled with water. You have to start acting and operating in a way, that the person you want to be at your very core would. Only then will you start to make real changes, and so will what shows up within your life. When I was able to let go of my ex’s ideas of punishment and guilt, I was able to see more clearly the truth that I felt was out there all along, and to align more deeply with what makes sense for me. Listen to your heart and your intuition when it comes to your spirituality. It is inside you, not an external thing that you have to find. If you start listening to that quiet voice inside, the one that you know is there, you won’t steer yourself wrong.

  Chapter 23:

  Women Are the Most Powerful Creatures on the Planet

  I believe that women are the most powerful creatures on the planet. We create life in our bodies. Think about that. We literally have the ability to make life inside of us. Sure, not all by ourselves, but after that initial part, yes, we very much do the heavy lifting. And after we create it, we birth it, keep it alive, and nurture it, all while balancing 1,000 other things. This is incredible. We are strong, we are emotional, we are brilliant, and we are capable of more than we give ourselves credit for. I truly believe that women need to come together more and realize how brilliant we are. That we don’t need to tear each other down out of fear that we aren’t good enough, or won’t have what what’s her name has. We are unlimited and boundless beings that can do incredible things.

  I want any woman where I was, to know that she is capable of anything that she wants. We were not created or put on this earth to just eat shit all the time and live on other people’s terms. We are put here to create the life that we want and desire. Unfortunately, we don’t get what we deserve; we get what we believe deep down on the inside to be true.

  You must stop being so afraid to
color outside the lines. Stop being afraid to take chances. Start listening to that voice inside of you that tells you what your real desires are and go for them. NOW. The only boundaries of what we can have and create are the ones that we put on ourselves. You know that girl you follow on social media, the one that travels all the time with unlimited amounts of money, wearing the best clothes who seems to have zero problems in life? First, she probably does have a shit load of problems (they just aren’t as fun to post, imagine #cryingselfie—not so cute). Second, she probably pisses you off. She probably pisses you off, because you don’t think that is possible for you. BUT IT IS. Your triggers all exist to show you what you are avoiding, or what you want to be more like. They are all telling you something. They aren’t bothersome, random things that occur just to piss you off. They are KNOWLEDGE that you can use to make changes to yourself (and therefor change your reality).

  Don’t be afraid to try to go for your dreams and fail. My entire life, I wanted to be a published author and write a book. I could never figure out what to write about. Through one of the worst situations and my biggest failures to date, this book you are holding in your hands was born. On the other side of my biggest mistakes and lessons were some of my biggest dreams. When I prayed that night in the bathroom that God and the Universe would take from me that which no longer served me, I knew that changes would come. I let it go. Less than a month later, my ex was ripped from me and my old life burned down with it. Ask and you shall receive.

  I never would have become all that I am or do the things that I wanted to do, if that situation stayed the same. I don’t want you to go through the hell, and all of the pain or the suffering that I went through—I don’t wish that upon anyone—but I want you to realize what you are worth. Wake up to the fact that you are worthy and capable of accomplishing your desires. Stop being afraid to go for your dreams and stop letting excuses get in the way. The only thing in your way is your own mind. Feed your mind goodness. If you need some other incredible books (besides this one of course) to help you on your journey, I have some of my favorites listed on my website at www.books.danielleprahl.com.

  I have so many incredible women in my life that I see holding themselves back, because of what they believe or what society tells them to be true. I knew someone with a little baby who desperately didn’t want to be with the father anymore, but felt that if she broke up with him that no one would want to date her because she has a baby. Are you telling me that there wasn’t a man out there who would cherish the incredible fucking gifts of human beings she and her child are? That he wouldn’t thank the lucky stars every night that they were both created? Because, there was a man out there who would feel that way. The only thing holding her back from the happiness that she knew in heart she deserved was HERSELF.

  Sure, walking away from a relationship when you have a child is frightening. It’s hard. It’s not just you that you have to think about anymore. However, the relationship has served its purpose and, in this case, it has very much run its course. In her case, I believed everything she was waiting for was on the other side of it. And, no, I am not encouraging all women with kids to break up with their spouses. I am talking about a very specific scenario here. Obviously, when families stay together and can be happy, that is ideal. However, this was not the case here. And, guess what? This girl walked away from that relationship and did indeed meet the man of her dreams. It happened fast and it happened easily. What if she had never had the lady balls to do it? She’d probably still be sitting unhappily next to a man who didn’t love her enough to work on their relationship and be the spouse she truly deserved, allowing her to be the woman she desperately knew she could be. She’d be teaching her child to settle, to be boxed in, to not go for their dreams. Instead, she gets to teach her child what a loving, happy, healthy relationship looks like every day. Good for her.

  If you have wanted to be an author, a teacher, a lawyer, someone who travels for a living, I challenge you to start taking chances. Start taking actions every day toward that goal. You don’t have to figure it all out or know exactly how it will happen. You just have to believe that it is possible. Believe in yourself and know that you are worthy of the desires inside of your heart. Your time is incredibly valuable. Stop wasting it on things that don’t matter. There are women who make money posting about tea in their underwear on Instagram. There are men who make money playing their favorite sports. There are kids who make money showing off their toys on YouTube. ANYTHING is possible. The Internet has literally taken away the boundaries of space and time. It’s no longer difficult to start a business or make connections with those who can assist you in upleveling your life. You have no excuse anymore. You have been given all the tools to become what you desire to be, do, and have.

  People telling me I couldn’t create a good life by myself infected my way of thinking, and it was a long time before I realized that they couldn’t imagine it for themselves, therefore they couldn’t imagine it for me. Sometimes, people want to keep you safely in the box that makes sense in their own minds, because they don’t think they are capable of things, so why should you be? That would be truly uncomfortable for them. It would challenge everything they believe in and show them that they are missing out on their true potential, and that would be frightening for them. Maybe they are comfortable in their safe little bubble where challenging the status quo is scary.

  I am not that person, and if you are holding this book in your hands, I don’t think that you are either. Other people’s thoughts, comments, and beliefs on YOUR life are only a reflection of THEIRS. It has everything to do with their own thoughts and triggers, of what they believe to be true, and zero to do with what is actually true for you. Most of the time, the people we take advice from don’t even have the things we want or live the life that we want. Be careful who you choose to listen to.

  There have been so many times in my life that I didn’t have a person to look up to. I didn’t know many people living life as an entrepreneur. I didn’t know many people who had successfully moved away from my small little town. I didn’t know many women who made more money than their male counterparts, and bought whatever the hell they wanted to because they thought they could. I didn’t know many people who ran their own businesses on the Internet. I don’t know many people who have written books or become authors. I have had strong, brilliant women around me and in my family for decades, and they have taught me a lot, but I haven’t had many examples of people whose life I wanted to emulate.

  However, if you wait around for an example of what to do next to get you where you want to go, you may not find one. If you take one thing from this book, it’s that you are capable of anything that you want. You deserve to have a fulfilling life and all the crazy, obnoxious, shiny shit that goes with it. The only person standing in your way is the person in the mirror. Invest in yourself and in your mind, and you will be amazed at the places you will go. It is NEVER too late to reinvent yourself. I do it every day. Life can either be a wonderful, brilliant adventure, or it can suck balls. It’s up to you, my love.

  It’s your decision to make.

  Chapter 24:

  Why Figuring Out Who You Are Is Bullsh*t

  It drives me absolutely freakin’ insane listening to people saying they need to figure out who they are, or what would make them happy, or if they are this type of person or that type of person. I used to be this way, too. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. You don’t have to “figure out” who you are. You already know who you are. The person you are in this exact moment is exactly everything that you need to be to make your dreams come true. We just need to get you back in deeper communication with that person. Somewhere along the road, you got so used to silencing the voice that popped up and had dreams or told you what you wanted, that maybe you forgot how to listen to it. But, trust me, friend, it’s there.

  Who you are in this moment already IS exactly who you are supposed to be. You have every single thing inside of you that it takes t
o have the life that you want. Whatever job you are doing, the person you are with, the friends you have, they are all leading you to the person you will become. You are not the same as you were three years ago (or even three days ago), and you will not be the same person in another three months. You are constantly evolving and changing as a person. With that comes the need to sometimes let go of people, jobs, situations, and environments that no longer suit you. If you are consistently pissed off and upset, that is probably something that is no longer suiting you. So, it’s up to you to have a conversation about it with that person, or, sometimes to just to let it fall away. No need for drama or a lengthy Facebook post. Just let it go.

  I have reinvented myself plenty of times. I remember people commenting on my social media posts about my new ventures with “I thought you were doing X? What happened to that?” As if finding out something doesn’t suit you and moving on to something else that does is not okay. I don’t want to just do one thing for the rest of my life (except help others rock the shit out of their lives in some way, shape, or form), and chances are, neither do you.