“We’ll get it later,” she said. “For now…”
He looked over her head. “What if they try to stop us?”
“Kidnap me.”
His eyes fell to hers.
Then he bent forward, and his head disappeared entirely.
In the next second, she felt his shoulder settle in her stomach, and she was off the ground with a gasp.
Though she’d said ‘kidnap,’ she hadn’t actually meant it.
She settled her hands on his back to keep herself slightly upright and then watched as her family moved out of his way. James’ every step was confident and strong. His arms kept her steady.
She met everyone’s gaze as they entered the foyer.
Everyone looked startled. Surprised. Her mother was weeping.
She smiled at them. “I’ll write. I promise.” Tears welled in her eyes.
Then the cold hit her, shocking the bit of sadness she’d felt right from her body.
James placed her gently into the carriage and settled a thick warm blanket over her. The furs must have been on the brick while they’d been inside. He reached down and also settled her feet on the brick, as though she were a child and could not do so herself.
She smiled, enjoying how he cared for her.
His dark hair whipped around him in the wind. Flakes of snow held to his locks. His expression was foreboding. “I’ll be right back,” he said before closing her in the carriage alone.
She straightened. Her eyes widened as he started back toward the house. “Where are you going?” she shouted over the wind.
He disappeared inside.
∫ ∫ ∫
1 2
Kim’s heart beat hard as she waited long precious seconds for his return. When he finally did, he settled into the carriage on the other side, facing her.
She watched as her trunk, the one that had been packed to go to Lord Louvell’s house, was placed on the back of James’ carriage.
She turned back to the man who was now destined to be her husband. “What did you say to them?”
He seemed to be distracted by the handling of her trunk as the footmen moved to tie and settle it in. “I vowed to keep you safe and told them that they were always welcome in my home.” He looked at her. “So long as they respected our bond.”
She smiled.
He went on, “I also said that if they cared for you, they would let you leave with your possessions, so you would have something that was familiar to you.”
That touched her soul. “Thank you, James.”
“You’re welcome.” He didn’t smile, but his expression was no longer menacing.
He settled more firmly in his seat as the carriage started to roll away.
Kim didn’t look out to see her family home. She didn’t want to think about the pain she was leaving behind. Her family would need time to understand. She would need time to understand herself.
James’ voice was clear of any inflection that would give away feeling. “Since we are not far from Gretna Green, I thought we would go there to marry… Unless you have any objections.” He lifted a brow.
Their only other option would be to wait three weeks for a proper wedding or get a special license from the archbishop, which would require going to London.
And James had made it clear in his letters that he did not wish to return to the city.
“What objections would I have?” Did he think she’d change her mind? “It’s a fine idea.” And a romantic one. She’d been kidnapped and now they were running away to Scotland to wed.
She laughed lightly and then sighed. It was still early in the day, yet she was tired.
But not tired enough to willingly miss her first few hours with James.
He was different than she’d expected, more serious, but she supposed the situation they’d just dealt with had been quite a serious one.
He frowned. “What are you thinking?”
Kim remembered that she didn’t have to lie to James. She was safe with him, wasn’t she? “I was thinking about how different you are from your letters.”
“You mean hideous?”
His words were like a dagger to her stomach. With effort, she found her voice. “No, I meant reserved. Distant.”
“What would you have me do?” he asked. “Sit by you?”
Was it a dare?
She straightened and moved over to give him space to join her.
He stared at the spot, as though it were poisonous, but then moved, filling it.
His coat brushed her arm, and she found it frighteningly cold.
“Are you cold?” she asked. Then she groaned. “Of course, you are. You gave me your blanket. Here. We’ll share.” She moved and began to settle it onto his shoulder. His eyes followed her movements. She’d had to put her knees on the seat and lean over in order to reach him. The position put their faces at the same level and very close.
She got a better look at the lines on his face. The surface of the scars seemed smooth. She wondered what they’d feel like under her fingers.
“Do not pretend as though my scars do not offend you.” His hard voice startled her, but not as much as his words.
She looked into his pensive expression. “They don’t offend me.” That didn’t mean they didn’t bother her for other reason. The scars meant that at one point he’d been in pain, and she would never wish that on anyone. She wondered if he would share the entirety of his tragedy with her. She hoped he would. The scars made her sad, but they did not offend.
His brows drew lower, his scars depressing in. “You lie.”
“No,” she whispered. “I don’t feel the need to lie to you.”
He held her eyes, and his expression relaxed.
There was a jolt. A bump in the road.
His hands were locked on her waist before she ever felt the need to try and steady herself.
He was so strong she’d hardly felt the impact.
Yes, she was safe with this man. A gentleman who’d come to save her when it was clear he was uncomfortable in public.
A man who’d defended her against Louvell,
Who’d threatened Louvell and suffered the cold so that she wouldn’t have to.
She smiled.
James looked at her mouth. His frown returned before he settled her back into the seat. Again, he moved her feet to the brick. Then he settled the blanket over them both. “We should make a wedding contract of sorts, speak about what will be expected from each other.”
Kim blushed as she thought about one thing that would clearly be expected from her as his wife.
“The marriage will never be consummated, but you’ll never have reason to want again,” he said, cutting into her thoughts.
Kim stiffened and lifted her chin to look at him. “What do you mean the marriage won’t be consummated?”
He’d been looking away, but now he looked down at her. “Since you’ve already confessed to knowing how sex works, I see no reason to explain myself.”
Her cheeks flamed. Did he not wish to touch her, because she’d previously given herself to another? “It was a long time ago.”
“But one never forgets such an experience.” His gaze was direct. “It is not something you and I will ever be doing together.”
His expression was not cold, yet still, Kim felt chilled. She knew that a sensible woman, who’d asked a stranger to marry her, would be rejoicing at his words. He did not plan to force himself upon her.
Yet, Kim did not feel glad. Perhaps, it was because she figured he didn’t want her, because someone else had already had her. That hurt.
Yet, she also wondered if perhaps he was scarred elsewhere. What if he could not perform the act? She didn’t think that last thought a possibility, especially when she recalled just how heated his letters had been.
He’d seem aroused by the thought of her nude. He’d spoken of touching other women.
Which meant it was her he didn’t want.
Her heart ached, but she decided
to let the matter rest. It was for the best, after all. Even though there was something so strong between them that Kim thought she could touch it, she and James didn’t know each other.
Not really. B
ut to make a declaration that he never wished to touch her? Not even a year from now? Or five?
“What is it that you will expect from me?” he asked moments later.
What did she expect? She hadn’t even expected him to come for her. He’d clearly had more time to think about the situation.
She looked at him again, saw the tension in his expression, and said, “I want honesty between us.” No more would she live in a world of lies. “I want us to always tell the truth to one another, no matter how painful it is.”
A muscle in his jaw flexed. “You want honesty?”
She nodded. “And friendship, like before.”
He looked away, though his head continued to face her. She could see thoughts playing behind his black eyes.
Then his gaze was on her again. He nodded. “You shall have my honesty, my friendship, and my protection.”
Protection. Did he think any harm would come to her?
He was probably still thinking about his own past and the things that had happened to him.
“I accept,” she said.
He nodded, seemingly content, and then turned away.
“And what would you want from me?” she asked. Surely, there was something.
∫ ∫ ∫
1 3
What did James want from Kimberley?
He wanted many things. One of them was sex, but he’d already taken that out of the arrangement before she could. Even though she’d asked for honesty, he knew his scars bothered her. She’d not accept him into her bed. She was likely relieved that she would never have to deal with his urges.
But she’d done the deed before. Would she want to again? With another man? The thought made him fist his hands underneath the blankets, but he told himself to breathe.
Their marriage would not be traditional. He’d already decided after his maiming that he would not marry, so he knew himself to be lucky that Kimberley at least wanted his friendship.
He’d been sure she’d have wished to put distance between them. He’d had waited for her to ask him to take her to her aunt’s, where she could live out her life as a spinster.
But she hadn’t.
She thought a wedding in Scotland a fine idea.
And then she’d asked him to share the bench with her and had wrapped them both in the same blanket though they no longer touched.
She wanted honesty and friendship from him.
Well, he’d not tell her about his desires to explore her mouth and map her lips with his own.
And he didn’t think it dishonest to not mention it since he’d taken sex out of the equation.
He had to consider what was left for them. “I’d like us to share meals… if you don’t mind.”
“I don’t mind,” she said. “That would be good.”
He grunted. They’d see if she could stomach eating in his presence. He’d not shared more than tea with Lady Macy. “I suppose we can do other things together.”
“Oh, like read,” she said. “Do you enjoy reading?” She sounded excited.
He glanced at her and found her jade-hued eyes to be sparkling. “I read.” What else would he be doing in his spare time? He lived alone. He didn’t go out in public. There were few vices left for him.
“And chess?” she asked.
He’d not enjoyed a game of chess or any game that required others in a very long time.
“Yes,” he said, actually looking forward to their marriage now. He’d been saddened that he’d never know Kim’s body, but he would have her in other ways.
“And picnics when the spring comes,” she said. “Are there parks near your home?”
“Our home,” he corrected.
She smiled. “Our home. Do we have parks near it?”
His chest expanded. “A few.”
“I’ll wish to explore them,” she said.
James struggled to breathe. It appeared they would not be spending every moment of their days together, since he did not plan to travel far from their house again. “You may go wherever you wish to.” So long as she always came back to him.
She studied him and then said, “We can go to the park when there is no one about. Perhaps, early in the day?”
She clearly understood his reservations.
Did she actually wish him to go with her?
“You’ll make friends,” he said. “Lady Macy knows everyone, and I’m sure she’ll be glad to introduce you.” He wasn’t selfish enough to keep her to himself. He would not suffocate her, he vowed.
He just wanted a little of her time. That was all. A smile or two, a conversation, just as he’d done in the carriage thus far.
“You won’t leave your property once we’re wed?” she asked.
“Our property,” he corrected. “And only to visit Lady Macy and even then, she always makes sure there is no one else about. She even limits the servants when I’m there.” He grew tired of the stares. The fear.
Her shoulder brushed his arm, and she moved closer. “Your face… it was a surprise when I first saw it, but truly, after a while, it is not all that bad.”
He swallowed around the lump in his throat. “We’ll not discuss this again. I don’t wish to be seen. I would ask that you respect my wishes and consider my limitations.”
She frowned and looked ready to disagree, but then she sighed. “I’m sorry.”
He let it go.
Her shoulder brushed his again, and he realized she was trying to get comfortable.
“Would you like me to return to my side of the carriage?” he asked.
“No.” She covered her mouth on a yawn. “Stay. You’re quite warm.” She moved and tried to settle her head on the seat, turning it left and right, but seemed unable to get comfortable.
He watched her struggle for a moment longer and prayed to God she would find relief in one of her positions, but when it became clear she wouldn’t, he said, “Would you like to… lean against me? Use me as a pillow?”
“Oh, that’s most kind of you.” She did so without opening her eyes. Her head was a light weight upon his arm. Her hair was as dark as his own, a shiny onyx next to his coat.
If they’d had children, he was certain their hair would be black.
But they’d not have children.
He’d been given too much to complain.
Kim shifted again, settling deeper against him.
Yes, he’d been given far too much.
* * *
Kim woke with only a few of the sun’s rays still managing to peek over the horizon. The tops of naked trees were all that was visible through the window from her position on James’ arm. She was surprised to not be disoriented.
She knew exactly where she was and who she was with and where they were going.
She sat up and found James’ eyes on her. The shadows played on his scars. The grooves in between his brows seemed deeper when furrowed.
“Are you well rested?” he asked.
She nodded and tucked the blanket around her shoulder more. “Sorry I wasn’t great company. I usually sleep during long carriage rides.”
“There’s no need to apologize.” He turned slightly toward her. She wondered if he’d slept or if he had been up the entire day. “Have you taken many long rides?”
“Only to and from school,” she told him. “The all-girls boarding school I attended was in Oxford.”
“Close to the university,” he guessed.
She nodded and waited for him to ask more questions. Her lover had been a student at the school. Would he ask about the man she’d foolishly given her innocence to?
“What did you learn while there?” he asked instead.
“French and German,” she said. “And some music, needlework, and everything else they thought a young lady would need to know
in order to oversee her home.”
“Do you play the piano?” he asked.
She shook her head. “No, but I sing.”
His brows rose. “Are you any good?” The question was quite blunt.
She laughed. “I’ve been told I am.”
With a chin lift, he motioned for her to prove it.
There, in the shadows, she sang a soft song she thought appropriate for the coming night. It was gentle and sweet, bringing to the focus her soprano, yet with a soothing power.
James closed his eyes. A pained expression came over him before he took a breath and ultimately relaxed.
When she faded her song to its end, he opened his eyes and looked at her. “With your beauty and that voice, you could rule London. I’m surprised you didn’t think to run away and join an opera.”
She smiled. She knew she had a pleasant voice. “The opera never crossed my mind. I don’t believe I’d be happy with so much travel.”
“Good,” he said, his gaze direct.
Kim shivered. That one word paired with his look held so much meaning. He didn’t plan to let her go.
“Did you rest at all?” she decided to ask.
He shook his head. “There’s too much on my mind.”
She could but imagine. Still, she asked, “Is it anything you wish to discuss aloud?”
He lifted a brow and shrugged. “My family was very small. I’ve cousins somewhere, but they’re likely to not appear until I’m dead and have left a title behind.”
She hadn’t needed the reminder that they’d not have children, and admittedly, she wasn’t sure she wouldn’t bring the subject up again sometime in the future.
But she would wait until the time was right. Or until her patience ran out.
He positioned himself to face her. One end of their blanket was still around his shoulder. “But I know you were close to your family. I’ll have to find a way to make it so again.”
She was amazed he would bother to continue to let something like that worry him. Her family should be her main concern, but it wasn’t. He was.
As she obviously was to him. He was concerned for her happiness.
Mark of The Marquess (The Valiant Love Regency Romance) (A Historical Romance Book) Page 6