“He won’t even see me.” Then Mr. Harris frowned. “But I understand what you mean. I… thank you. Yes. Perhaps I should make it clear to my brother just how much he means to me. Now, enough about me. I’ve not asked after Lord Denhallow.”
She could not restrain her smile. “He’s well.”
He stared at her for a moment. “You know, you brighten whenever he’s brought up. You must love him very much.”
“With all my heart,” she said.
Mr. Harris sighed. “Are you very certain you have no sisters somewhere in the world?”
She smiled. “It is not me who does all the work. James is a wonderful husband. I have very few complaints about matrimony.”
“Very few?” Mr. Harris asked as he leaned toward her. “That means there are issues then, though I can’t imagine what they could be.”
“Well, since I plan to live up to your imaginings, Mr. Harris, that will have to suffice.”
“You don’t always have to call me Mr. Harris. My name is Colby, and we are friends. Do feel free to share anything with me.”
She smiled. “Thank you.”
But she would never voice her issues with James to another, especially not a man. She’d never share with another that her marriage remained incomplete and her strong desire to have James inside her body, to grow with his seed, to be a true family.
He was still hesitant. They shared a bed, even slept with one draped over the other, but he still managed to keep his distance.
She’d tried to seduce him only one night, but never again when he’d threatened to sleep in his own room.
She was only pacified by the languorous kiss she received every morning before he departed.
“I can’t help but notice he is never here,” Mr. Harris said. “Is it the scars?”
She glanced at him and took a moment to think before confessing. “Yes. It is.”
Mr. Harris shook his head. “They aren’t that terrible. You can tell him I said as much.”
She grinned. “Thank you.” Then she admitted, “I would enjoy a dance with my husband. In public. I am not ashamed of him at all.”
Mr. Harris’ eyes widened, and he looked at her. “Then arrange it. Hold a masked ball. He could don a domino. No one would have to see his face if he did not wish it. Then you could have your dance.”
Kim gasped. “Mr. Harris, that is a splendid idea. A masked ball.” Why hadn’t she thought of it? She’d speak to Everly about it later.
Mr. Harris smiled. “I’ll not forget what Lord Denhallow did for me when he and Lord Cartelle went and rescued my brother. He deserves happiness just as much as you do, my lady.”
Kim patted his arms in gratitude. “Thank you, Colby.”
He nodded and then turned back to the ballroom floor. “Do you know if they’ve discovered who was behind the kidnapping?”
“No, I’ve not heard a word.” She looked at the clock and could see it was time to meet James. Turning to Mr. Harris, she said, “Tell me if my advice works.”
“I will.” He grinned and then turned around and said, “Excuse me, but I believe I wish to dance the next set with a certain unattached lady.” He winked at Kim.
Kim laughed. “Have a wonderful time.”
She made her way down the halls, choosing those that held fewer members.
She smiled when her hand was grabbed, and she was pulled into a room.
“Where have you been?” her husband asked as he backed her into the door.
She smiled. The room was dark. She could barely make him out, but she’d recognize his voice and the feel of his body anywhere. She pressed against him and wrapped her arms around his waist. “I was in the ballroom.”
His arms gathered her closer. “Speaking with Mr. Harris again?”
She frowned, thinking his question odd. Then she thought about it and realized just how frequently she’d seen Mr. Harris right before she met with James. “Yes, I did see him.”
“And what if I asked you to keep your distance from him?” James asked.
∫ ∫ ∫
4 0
Kim blinked in the dark and her heart raced. She’d begun to suspect James of being jealous but hadn’t known how much. “Is that your wish? Do you want me to cease speaking to him?”
“He wants you,” James declared.
“He does not,” Kim protested. “I’m only helping him with his brother.”
“I want you to end the friendship,” James said.
This conversation was so very different from the ones they usually had when the met at parties. Her stomach fell. She’d just promised Mr. Harris she would help him. Now, James wished her to break a promise.
She wasn’t sure what to say to that.
“Kim, do you hear me?” James asked. “No more Mr. Harris. Am I clear?”
She frowned in the dark and sniffed the air. She didn’t smell alcohol. “James, where is this coming from?”
“I need to know you understand me, Kim. No more Mr. Harris.”
“Why?” she protested. “This seems entirely unnecessary.”
“I won’t step inside brothels,” he said. “You will not speak to Mr. Harris. It seems like an even trade.”
She dropped her arms from him and pressed herself farther into the door. She tried to get away from him but couldn’t. Her anger blew in like a swift wind. “It is only an even trade if you wish to go to brothels. Do you wish to go to brothels?” She was glad her voice didn’t waver, yet she felt her body might soon.
Had Lady Preshea been right when she’d accused James of preferring fair hair? Was it the reason he’d not touched her? She wished he’d end her doubts and simply join her in bed as a husband did his wife, yet instead…
“I do not wish to go to brothels. I didn’t like them even before I was scarred. I preferred…”
“You preferred?” she asked. “What did you prefer?”
“Never mind.”
She moved away from him and nearly tripped in her effort to find light.
A hand went around her waist, catching her.
She found the lamp, brightened the room, and then stepped away from James once more. “What did you prefer?” she asked again.
He crossed his arms. His body was rigid, but his face was calm. “It doesn’t matter. We are wed.”
“You preferred women with fair hair,” she said.
He narrowed his eyes. “Who told you that?”
“Is it true?” she asked.
He shook his head. “No. I have no preference where hair is concerned.” He narrowed his gaze. “Who told you that?”
Kim swallowed and moved farther into the room. It was a music room. Various instruments rested against the walls. She stood behind a wingback chair and placed her hands on the back of it. “It’s not true?”
He was silent and then said, “I likely told a dark-haired woman that but that was never the case. I simply didn’t like her, not her hair.”
“Oh.” She tapped her fingers on the chair. “Well, why would you say it? Why not tell the lady you didn’t like her?”
He lifted a brow. “So, it was a lady?” He lifted a hand and stroked his jaw. “Because telling someone that you don’t like their personality will get you blackballed from some events or the events of their friends. One must always navigate the waters of London with a quick mind.”
Kim thought that made sense. Lady Preshea was a patroness of Almack’s.
“So,” James said. “Are we in agreement on the matter of Mr. Harris?”
“I don’t believe you left me a choice,” she said. “You demanded I do as you say.”
He held her eyes. Then an emotion passed through them before his expression became completely unreadable. “Very well, Kimberley. Do as you please.”
She didn’t like that he’d given in so quickly, but she was not yet ready to simply agree and do as he wished.
“Since I suspect you’ll be out late, I see you in the morning,” he said as he turned his back to her.
>
“Wait,” she called. “Where are you going?”
“Home.” He left without another word, shutting the door behind him.
Kim didn’t think. She simply reacted and followed.
She watched as James slipped out the back door of the club and into a hackney. She slipped up right behind him and climbed inside.
He was startled.
“You can’t simply leave in the middle of a discussion,” Kim protested from her place in the shadowy interior. “What did you mean, do as I please?”
He sighed. His expression was weary. “Kim, I’m going home. I do not wish to be delayed by this discussion.”
“Then let us go home,” Kim said. There was no possibility of her having a good time while she was worried about James.
James shook his head. “You must stay. Even now, Everly is likely looking for you.”
“Everly knows you come for me.” She’d had to confess to it when her friend had grown worried about her disappearances at every event. “I’ll send a note back that I’ve returned home.”
He stared at her and then said, “Kimberley, I wish to be alone. Return to the party.”
A coolness grabbed hold of her limbs and lungs. Panic surfaced. He’d never asked to be alone before. She knew that most people enjoyed a time of the day when they could be with themselves, but never had James requested it until now.
“Are you sure?” she asked.
He nodded. “Go on. Have a good time.”
She didn’t want to go. She thought to push but pushing didn’t work with James. If he changed his mind about something, he did it for his own reasons.
Her shoulders fell. “All right.” Yet needing that connection with him, she moved across the space and placed her mouth against his.
Her worry calmed significantly when he returned it and even stroked her arms.
She wanted to shout her love for him but didn’t think now the right time. Would there ever be a right time?
* * *
James watched Kim return to Almack’s and then told the hackney driver to start for home.
He was losing her just as he’d always known he would.
The city had so much to offer and one of those offerings were men and women.
The day he’d found Mr. Harris in the drawing room, James had known it would only be a matter of time before he found himself replaced. Kim had fought to keep the other man’s friendship and though it likely hadn’t grown to more—considering how happy and pleasant she was with his appearance at parties—it was only a matter of time.
If James wished to survive when that took place, he needed to start distancing himself now.
Tonight was the last time he’d make his usual appearance at parties and with all the time the other men were putting into hunting for a criminal, James could do more.
In the dark, he touched his lips and closed his eyes.
He’d just shared his final kiss with Kim.
He wasn’t angry with her. She’d never been in London. She didn’t know the draw it could have on someone, how consuming everything could become.
Part of him wished he’d never come to London or that he’d returned to the country when Kim had asked him to last week.
James had no one to blame but himself for the hollowness he felt within his chest. He’d always known Kim belonged to beautiful people. She’d been far too beautiful to be his wife to begin with. Yet he didn’t regret a single moment with her. For a moment, his life had been good.
Now, all that mattered was ensuring he made it safe for her. If there was someone out there who wished him harm, he needed to know and soon.
∫ ∫ ∫
4 1
Kim woke to emptiness on her side of the bed. The sheets were cool and still made where her husband should have been. She’d gotten used to her morning kiss and though she didn’t know why James had avoided her last night, she decided she’d not allow him to avoid her further.
She walked through the connecting room that served as his own bedchamber and discovered a maid.
“Where is Lord Denhallow?” she asked.
The young woman turned to her from her place by the hearth and stood. “I don’t know, my lady. I could ask the butler if he does.”
Kim looked at James’ bed and saw it was made. “Did you make this bed?”
The maid shook her head and folded her hands in front of her. “The bed has not been made since the day of your arrival.”
Which meant James had not slept there at all last night.
So, where was he?
She thought it likely that he’d spent the night at Lord Ganden’s home or the home of one of the other men. Still, she was worried. What if he didn’t make it home because he’d been hurt? “Has anyone heard anything from him?”
The maid tucked her chin. “I don’t know, my lady. Would you like me to ask?”
“No, I shall do it myself.” She returned to her room and dressed in haste.
She hoped to find James in the hall on her way to breakfast and then prayed to find him sitting at the breakfast table.
She could not hide her disappointment at finding only Lord Ayers there.
“Good morning,” the duke said from over his paper, grinning even. “Did you have a good time last night? I hear it was your first time inside Almack’s. Was it everything you hoped it would be?”
“Good morning, Your Grace.” Kim tried to smile and took a seat. She was not hungry at all yet she took a few sips of tea when it was brought to her. “Almack’s was wonderful.”
He gave her a considering look. “Are you all right, my lady?”
Was her worry obvious? “Did you speak to James this morning?”
“I’ve not seen him, but I did last night right before he left.” The duke’s gaze was narrowed. “He slept at Lord Astlen’s residence. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you immediately upon waking up. I didn’t know he’d not told you.”
Kim took a calming breath and smiled once more. “It must have slipped his mind.” She stood then. “I’m not terribly hungry. I think I’ll go for a walk.”
“Take a footman with you,” the duke instructed. “London has its pleasantries but mind the pickpockets.”
“I shall do just that,” Kim said.
“And Astlen lives two blocks over,” he said as he returned his gaze to the papers. “That’s if you were wondering, of course.”
She was, but she wasn’t sure she should hunt James down. He’d asked to be alone. Just how long would he need?
With a parasol in hand and a footman trailing behind, she stepped outside and was surprised to find someone standing at the bottom of the stairs.
His dark hair made her nearly trip over herself to get to him, but then she stopped and realized it wasn’t James.
The gentleman’s head rose, and she was met with the warm green eyes of Colby Harris. “My lady.”
She made an expression she hoped was pleasant. “Mr. Harris. Good morning.” Seeing him only brought back memories of what had started her fight with James.
It was easy to blame Mr. Harris for the troubles in her marriage, but she knew that wasn’t fair or true. The issue was James’ inability to accept himself and thus accept her feelings for him. She knew that if she’d simply agreed to end her friendship with Mr. Harris, James would have remained at the party and perhaps they would have danced privately in that room.
Yet deep inside, she’d known that to give in now was to give in forever. Was she to never be friends with any man? Was it only the handsome and unattached or would it grow to all men, no matter their appearance and marital position?
She needed James to see himself as she saw him.
Wonderful. Someone she loved deeply.
She thought it time her husband knew the truth.
“My lady.” Mr. Harris climbed higher up the stairs. “Are you all right?”
Kim’s smile became real. “Yes, I am, but I can’t dally. I must be somewhere.” She went down the stairs and
started to walk.
“Of course.” He was grinning as he walked beside her. “I simply came to thank you.”
“Thank me?” Kim asked, glancing his way.
Colby nodded. “I took your advice last evening and told Ganden exactly how I felt. My brother… he’s accepted me. Not the rest of the family, but just me. It’s something. It truly means the world to me.”
Kim stopped and looked at him. “That’s wonderful, Colby.” Now she was even more ready to take her own advice.
He took her hand and his expression was serious, yet still warm. “Thank you, my lady. There is truly no way I could thank you enough. If there is anything you ever need of me, simply ask.”
Kim smiled. “Thank you.”
“Good day, my lady.” He bowed and started in the direction they’d come.
Kim watched him go and then grinned as she started for Astlen’s.
She made it to the right house and her footman knocked for her. The door was opened, and Kim was allowed inside. She’d started for the drawing room that the servant was leading her to when a flash of bright colors caught her attention.
Then a woman emerged, and her words stuck at Kim’s heart.
“Oh, how I missed James,” the woman said with a wicked grin.
A gentleman Kim did not know stepped into the hall with the fair-haired beauty… whose blindingly red gown was scandalously low cut. He was tall with dark hair. She wondered if he were Astlen. “You’ve had your fun. Now it’s time to go.”
“Yes, this has been most fun.” The pair started toward her and stopped when they approached.
The woman looked her over with curiosity. Her eyes were a brilliant pale blue.
Astlen was staring at her as well. “Lady Denhallow, I’ll be with you momentarily.” He did not introduce his other guest, but Kim believed she already knew who the stunning woman to be.
“Denhallow?” The woman’s gaze widened and then she laughed. “Oh, my dear, you’ve truly gained a wonderful prize.” Her voice had deepened to something sickeningly sensual and her words crafted with a knowledge of her husband that Kim didn’t know. “James,” she moaned.
Mark of The Marquess (The Valiant Love Regency Romance) (A Historical Romance Book) Page 20