by S S Bazinet
Carey smiled. “Good. And don’t worry about Elise. Michael and I will make sure that she knows we are always there if she needs us.”
Arel took a last glance at Elise’s empty porch. “Listen, Carey, an angel doesn’t have the same problems as a human. So please be careful in how you help Elise. If she doesn’t manage her feelings properly, she could end up very bitter again.”
“Your concern is admirable, but from what I’ve experienced, Elise learns and integrates the things we’ve helped her with very quickly. With a little more assistance, I think she’ll get through this stage quite nicely.”
Arel grunted out his complaint. “What you’re really saying is that she’s a lot faster at learning than I am.”
“No, of course not. You’ve done an amazing job at changing your life, and you’ve done it in a very short time.”
“Really?”
“Arel, you’ve cleared many emotional roadblocks. Be proud of yourself.”
“Thank you, but I do have a question about a different matter. Why did you call me on my phone earlier?”
“Is that why you showed up at Peggy’s house this evening?”
“Yes, I got a call from you, but then I couldn’t call you back. I didn’t know if it was something important, so I stopped over to investigate.”
“Sorry about that. I must have pocket-dialed you. I hope I didn’t interrupt your evening.”
“No, thankfully your call came in just after I said my goodbyes to Claire.”
“How is she?”
“Busy. In fact, our conversations are usually short. A lot of the time she doesn’t have cell phone coverage or access to the internet. I’ll be happy when she’s finished with this project she’s on.”
“And the wedding plans?”
“Initially, I had a lot of ideas, but when I described them to Claire, she asked me to hold off on anything concrete until she gets back. I guess we have very different thoughts when it concerns the ceremony and celebration.”
“Are you okay with that?”
“Of course.”
“And what about William? Have you decided how you want to help him?”
“Unlike you, Michael gave me sound advice about giving William space to figure things out for himself.”
Carey returned a look of surprise. “I guess I thought I said something similar.”
“You say a lot of things, Carey. I can’t remember it all. Anyway, I know that I have to stop trying to control everything. Like tonight, what business do I have to make a judgment about my neighbor or her life? Elise is someone I dated for a little while. But I never really got to know her.”
“So you’ve decided to stay out of William’s current situation?”
Arel looked at his hand and examined the scar on his palm. It was the result of his blood brother ceremony with William. “William is his own man, a most thoughtful one at that. He’s always been much more responsible too. So what right do I have to think I know what’s best for him?”
“And what about Annabel?”
“I have to put some things straight with both of them, and I want your support, Carey. I want you to come to London with me.”
“You’re going to London?”
“Yes, what I want to tell Annabel and William is something that has to be said face to face.”
Twenty-One
WILLIAM WATCHED AREL as the man leaned forward in his seat. Arel’s eyes were focused on the books scattered about on the coffee table. He was stacking them. As he did, he carefully edged each one into conformity. Carey, his angelic companion, sat in a chair next to Arel, looking on with fascination. It was as if the young man was purposefully blanking out everything but Arel’s actions.
William found himself chuckling silently. Arel had always been a fascinating subject to study. His interactions with the world were carried out in a cautious, controlled and detailed manner. Yet, Arel could change in an instant. His care and concern could be swept away by an emotional outburst that was anything but ordered. Those eruptions were frequently chaotic. However, at the moment, everything Arel did was carried out with a calm, boring attitude.
The silence was broken by the clinking of tea cups on a tray that Annabel ferried into the room. Carey jumped up to help her set it on the coffee table. His young face brightened as he checked out the sweets on the tray.
“Annabel, wow, those Napoleons look amazing,” Carey said with eagerness.
Annabel reached up and caressed his cheek. “I knew they were one of your favorites.”
Arel sat back and gave Carey a cautious frown. “Remember, don’t overindulge, Carey. Moderation is a virtue.”
Carey sat down quickly and put his hands together. “Maybe I’ll just have something to drink, maybe some water.”
Arel rubbed his brow. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. You’re quite able to make your own decisions. It’s just an old habit I’m going to break.” He looked at William and then at Annabel. “In fact, while I’m apologizing, I want to say something to both of you.”
William stiffened instantly. His physical body knew to be wary. When Arel made announcements that had an edge, it was time to brace oneself. It was clear that Annabel felt the same. She quickly sat down next to him and reached out for his hand.
“Why did you come here with so little notice, Arel?” she asked. “Is there something wrong? Troubles with Claire?”
Arel smiled. “No, everything is fine.” Still smiling, he got up and put two pastries on a plate and handed them to Carey. “Here you go. Enjoy yourself.” When he looked at William, his face was all smiles, but his eyes were still and almost vacant.
William’s hand tightened on Annabel’s so quickly she winced. He loosened his grip at once, but he could feel the atmosphere in the room changing. There was still sunlight streaming through a window, but there was no warmth to it. “So why are you here, Arel? And don’t tell me that everything is fine. You have an agenda.”
Arel averted his eyes, staring at his palm. “An agenda? Is that what you think?”
Carey took a large bite of his pastry, his eyes riveted on Arel again. “Arel, I wish you liked sweets. These Napoleons are fantastic.”
Arel’s hooded lids suddenly opened wide, meeting Carey’s bright gaze with one of wonder and curiosity. “Maybe I should,” he said. “I’m going to be married to Claire soon. I need to act more like a normal person.”
Carey laughed. “All that I know is that I love food.”
Annabel smiled. “Me too,” she said with a bit of mischief in her voice. “Especially when I get nervous.”
Arel nodded pensively as his eyes wandered over the tray of food and drink. “Yes, I have a lot of bad habits that I’m determined to leave behind.”
William’s jaw tightened when Arel reached out for a plate. “What are you doing? You can’t stomach food.”
Arel snatched up a pastry and quickly dropped it on his plate. “It’s time for a change.”
William felt his eye twitch. Arel was trying his best to appear peaceful and composed. Yet he held his dessert plate away from his body with a shaky hand and eyed his bakery item with the caution that one exercised around a stick of dynamite. “Arel, listen to me. Just because you’re getting married that doesn’t mean you have to do things that you don’t want to do.”
Arel ignored his advice and guided the pastry towards his face. After a hard swallow, he shoved part of the Napoleon into his mouth. After he bit off a sizable portion, he started to chew deliberately, but his eyes took on a look of discomfort that bordered on dread. Yet, he seemed determined to complete what he’d started.
William, along with Annabel and Carey, watched and waited for Arel to swallow. Carey’s hand, clinging to a half-eaten pastry was stalled in mid-air. Annabel’s free hand covered her mouth as if she needed to hide her uneasiness.
Still unable to make his food go down, Arel grabbed the teapot and poured out some of its contents into a cup. When he took a hurried sip, it seem
ed to overpower whatever control he had on his body. Grabbing a linen napkin, he jumped up and ran for the kitchen.
Annabel jumped up too. “Poor dear, he’s trying so hard to be what Claire wants him to be,” she said as she followed him out of the room.
William remained where he was. The sound of Arel gagging elicited something in him. That something always made him angry. It was a need to protect Arel from himself. But why? Why did he have to act like he was Arel’s guardian?
Carey smiled over at him. “He feels the same way about you.”
“Is that why he’s here? He wants to keep me on this earth like he did before?”
“No, quite the opposite. But it’s hard, William. The bond that you two share runs deep. Yet, in the end, he’ll force himself to let go of you. He wants you to be happy no matter what.”
“Like he forced himself to eat that pastry?”
“Yes, he still doesn’t know how to allow those he loves to make their own decisions. But he’s determined to change no matter the pain to himself.”
William knew the feeling. When Arel was a young man and determined to kill himself, William couldn’t allow that to happen. He thought he knew better. His decision to stop Arel from taking that action started events they were both still dealing with. “And what about you, Carey? How does an angel fit into this tangled web we humans weave for ourselves?”
Carey brushed a few crumbs off his shirt. “I don’t let confusion or doubts sway me. I remain focused on the positive, expansive side of creation, no matter what.”
“And what would you say to someone who can’t see beyond their doubts?”
Carey leaned in. “One trick that I’ve seen people use is to put off any decisions when they’re in that state. In fact, Arel’s first thought about your situation was to find a way to distract you, to give you time to find a better solution.”
“What changed his mind?”
“He admires you, William, even looks up to you. He decided you know best.”
William frowned at the thought. Life felt empty. Any wisdom he might have had in the past had slipped away, just like his passion. “He’s wrong, again. But don’t tell him I said that.”
Carey returned a puzzled look. “Are you saying Arel should have tried his original plan?”
William shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m betting that I would have been angry, even incensed at his interference.”
“But—”
“But I’m sure his crazy antics would have been engaging too.”
Carey looked away. “I don’t think I should have had this conversation with you.”
“Why?”
“Arel should have told you about his intentions, not me.”
William clasped Carey’s shoulder. “I won’t let on that you said anything.”
“Thanks, it might be better that way.”
* * * * *
With Annabel next to him at the kitchen sink, Arel could feel his face flush with embarrassment. Annabel had been very kind. When he couldn’t swallow the pastry and spit it out, she’d hovered close by, telling him to relax if possible, to let his body settle down slowly. When he turned to face her, she gave him a smile of concern. He tried to smile back. “I’m sorry about all this. I thought I could eat something, but I guess my body felt differently.”
Annabel gestured him over to the kitchen table. “Sit down. Let yourself recover.”
Arel took a seat and a few breaths. As he did, his embarrassment quickly gave way to emotions that were much deeper, but clearly making themselves known. He leaned forward and clasped his hands. He needed to control a sensation that was coursing through his body. It was a terrible fear that his world was falling apart. He bowed his head, not wanting Annabel to see his face and the grief that was taking over. “What are we going to do, Annabel?”
Annabel leaned in too. “What are you talking about?”
Arel glanced up, hoping that Annabel still retained some of her former angelic wisdom. Instead, he saw a frightened woman staring back. “Nothing. Never mind.”
“Arel, tell me what you’re thinking!” Annabel demanded in a hushed, but insistent tone.
“I told you that I wouldn’t let William leave this world, but I lied. After thinking about it, I know I can’t keep enforcing my will over his. It’s not right.”
“Is that why you’re here? To tell me you’ve given up on him?”
Arel felt his gut flare with outrage. “I’d do anything to change the way he feels, but I can’t go on believing that I know what’s best for him. If you were still an angel, you’d know that too.”
“All that I know is that William has lost his way. You and your damnable world of soldier mice and battles have clouded his mind.”
Arel sat back and closed his eyes. Annabel was right. Months before, he’d used his power to create his own fantastic world. It was an alternate reality where he’d hoped to escape his misguided life. He’d drawn William into that world. In the end, he’d resolved many of his own issues, but at the expense of William’s sense of reality. “I pleaded with him, didn’t I? I asked him not to involve himself, Annabel. But Will insisted on trying to help me. It’s what we’ve been doing for a very long time. One of us has to stop.”
“And you’re deciding to bow out now? With William’s life on the line?”
Arel felt another flare go off in his gut. It was a warning sign that he needed to get his emotions under control. But there was so much anger coming off of Annabel. She was holding him responsible for all of William’s problems. He needed to put up his shields, to protect himself from her unrestrained temper, but the ex-angel had a point. Her desperate burden of pain shifted and was absorbed into the firestorm building in his gut. As he thought about what she’d said, his temperature escalated. He reached out for Annabel’s hand. “I don’t know what to do to fix any of it!”
Annabel pulled away, her brows heavily lined. “Arel, you’re so hot! And your face—” Pushing back her chair, Annabel got up and ran from the room, calling out. “William, Carey! Come quick! Arel is turning purple!”
When Carey and William came running into the kitchen, Arel realized he’d let his inner core go beyond the limits of safety. Tendrils of fire had spread rapidly into every part of him. His body felt like it was in the midst of a great bonfire. But his spirit wasn’t tethered to his body. It wasn’t trapped by the fire. Instead, he felt it soaring upwards.
When he looked down from a much higher vantage point, he observed his body. It was slumped over, consumed with fever. Carey and William were on either side, trying to help. But in his spirit form, Arel felt like he could breathe again. And he wasn’t alone. Michael was next to him. The angel’s radiant, smooth countenance was comforting. They’d been working together for a long time, and he knew Michael’s guiding hand could help him now. No matter how crazy he sometimes felt, Michael always found a way to set him straight.
“What must you think of us, Michael? With all our constant drama and pain?”
Michael smiled back. “I think you’re trying to find balance, but time is moving very swiftly. You have to do your best not to let yourself fall back into guilt and regret. Their currents are treacherous and unyielding.”
“But Annabel is right about my track record. And I don’t want to repeat the past!”
“Then you have to let go of it. You can’t let anything but the present moment exist if you want freedom for yourself.”
“And William?”
Michael’s smile broadened. “You might not think so, but he’s learning the same thing.”
Arel took another deep breath, inhaling Michael’s message in the same way that he took in air. Michael’s words were accompanied by blue, cooling waves of energy. They were so soothing that Arel relaxed completely. In the next moment, he felt himself slam back into his body. The idea of freedom for William and himself was still vibrating in his energy body. It was powerful and sustaining. He felt the strength to go beyond his mistakes. As soon as he ma
de the decision, his physical form began to return to normal. A few moments later, he found himself smiling as he pushed William and Carey aside. His joyful expression came from his vision of a better future.
But William wasn’t in a humorous mood. “You’re still such a child, aren’t you, Arel? You’re always acting out when you can’t get your way.”
Arel’s feelings were bruised by the statement. He turned and grabbed William’s shirt with both hands. “It’s not true. I’m smiling because I think we have a chance, Will. Both of us can find a solution to this mess we’re in. I’m sure of it.”
William sneered back. “Oh, please! You can’t even see what a mistake you’re making with Claire, much less solve anything.”
“Why are you so critical of the woman I love?”
“Don’t get me started on that subject, but I’ll make a deal with you. Put off this marriage for a couple of months, and I’ll put off leaving this earth for the same length of time.”
Arel winced. “What’s my marrying Claire got to do with anything?”
William removed Arel’s hands from his clothing and stepped back. “I don’t think she’s the right woman for you. And I don’t want you to marry someone that will make your life a living hell.”
“I realized that you had objections, but I didn’t know how strongly you felt about her.”
William stuck out his hand. “So it’s a deal? You’ll give yourself some time, and so will I.”
Arel hesitated. He loved Claire. He wanted to slip a ring on her finger and cement their bond in marriage as soon as possible. But William’s life was at stake. What could he do but shake William’s hand? Afterwards, he put his feelings in words. “It’s a deal, Will, because I do trust you. But I want to tell you right now. I don’t care how long it takes, I will marry Claire.”
“Whatever,” William said.
As Arel watched William leave the room, he felt Annabel’s hand on his arm. When he looked at her, she smiled.
“Thank you for agreeing to William’s proposal, Arel. And I’m sorry for being so hard on you.”