by S S Bazinet
As William held on to Annabel’s love, the room came back into focus. It was still shaking violently, so violently that it shook William’s bones. His teeth chattered. But then something else happened. Something broke open, something deep inside of William’s chest.
For a moment he thought he was having a heart attack and almost panicked. But the feeling that followed wasn’t painful. It flooded his body with a sense of ease. It lit up his mind, driving out the darkness and replacing it with a deep sense of knowing, of remembering.
William had once felt Annabel’s kind of love when he was very young. He was outside, and he’d managed to wander away from his nanny. As he began to explore the world, he didn’t label anything. Everything was his, be it tree or bird or rabbit, everything his eyes could see belonged to him. And he belonged to everything around him. He didn’t think in terms of separation. In fact, he didn’t think at all. He simply enjoyed the experience of being in a glorious, expansive world.
It was only as he got older that he was taught that he was something called a boy. And he was supposed to understand that there were other creatures that were there to serve him. Some were called hounds, some were called cows and others were called foxes.
It took a long time for him to grasp the idea that he had a role that wasn’t like that of a tree or a deer. Instead he was supposed to be a great man someday, like his father. And William was told that great men used the world around them as they saw fit. It didn’t matter if the ancient tree by the edge of the woods sometimes spoke to William. If his father wanted to cut it down, the tree had no say. It was just something that stood in the way of his father’s view when he stared out his desk window.
As the memory died away, William suddenly understood how everything in his life was defined down to the last detail. No wonder he wasn’t able to feel his passion. Passion couldn’t be defined. Neither could a zest for life. And Annabel, his beautiful Annabel, wasn’t a bundle of worries. She was like the birdsong in the meadow, a beautiful gift that he’d been given. As he thought about being with her again, the floor opened, and he began falling so fast that everything was a blur.
He finally slammed into something dense and solid. He blinked open his eyes and took a much needed breath. He was back in Rolphe’s guest bedroom. But he wasn’t alone. Arel, Rolphe and Michael were there too. They were talking together in the far corner of the room.
Slowly, with great effort, William was able to push himself up into a sitting position. He hoped against hope that he might truly be awake. His body felt very weak. He had to brace himself to keep from falling over. When he ran a hand over his face, it was rough and unshaven. That was a good thing. In the dream, he was always clean shaven. “Arel?” he whispered in a hoarse voice.
Arel turned and froze, studying William as if he were some rare treasure washed up on a beach. Finally, he seemed able to speak. “William, thank goodness! You’ve come back to us!” As Arel shouted out his happiness, his golden eyes turned bright and a wide smile spread across his face. In the next moment, he was in motion, rushing over to William’s bedside.
William reached out to him. “I hope you’re right.”
Arel grabbed William’s hand and squeezed it with added vigor. “I am right! Believe me!”
William winced in pain. “Take it easy. I don’t feel my best.” He swallowed hard and took a deep, wheezy breath as he tried to hold on to Arel’s glowing eyes. “Arel, you don’t know what I’ve been through. Maybe I’m losing my mind.”
Michael came over and put a hand on William’s shoulder. “With Arel and Rolphe around, I’m sure they won’t let your mind wander too far away.”
Arel laughed. “That’s right. We’re learning new tracking skills.”
Rolphe kept his distance, nodding with a smile.
William felt too tired to acknowledge any of them. Instead, a desire was surfacing. He rubbed his chest and turned his attention to Arel. “I want to see Annabel. Is she back in London yet?”
Arel sighed. “No, she’s still in Chicago. She’s got a terrible cold, and she’s unable to travel. But you could come back with me. You could surprise her. I’m sure that would lift her spirits.”
William nodded. “Yes, maybe we could recuperate together.”
Forty-Two
ANNABEL DIDN'T WANT to be a terrible houseguest, but how could she help it. Her physical condition was a cause for alarm. As she suffered from an unaccustomed assault on her body, she indulged in frequent crying spells and bouts of self-pity. But Elise was a very understanding caregiver. During the time that Annabel had been in bed, Elise was always there for her. Now as she watched the enthusiastic woman coming in with a tea tray, Annabel wiped a tear off her cheek. “What must you think of me, Elise? I wish I wasn’t acting like this, but I guess I’m scared.”
Elise put the tray on the dresser and smiled back. “It’s hard to believe that you’ve never had a cold before. You’re very fortunate.”
“Maybe, but everything hurts!”
Elise handed Annabel a cup of tea and sat down on the side of the bed. “Do you think the party and that scene with Claire brought this on?” She straightened Annabel’s covers. “It’s strange. You seemed to be okay when we went house hunting.”
Annabel put the tea on the side table. “I don’t know what I did to deserve this.”
Elise’s brows arched with surprise. “My dear Annabel, being sick isn’t a punishment.”
“It feels like it. It feels like my body hates me.”
“I know it feels like that, but from what I understand, bodies get sick when we worry too much or get very upset.”
“So what do I do to fix mine?”
“Bodies have a way of fixing themselves. But if you keep crying, it could take longer.”
“How did you learn about all that?”
“I’ve been pretty rough on my own body,” Elise said. She reached down and picked up Freddie. When she set him on the bed, the puppy immediately climbed into Annabel’s lap.
“What did you do to your body?” Annabel asked.
“One time, when I got very angry, I kicked my trash can so hard that I hurt my toe. My body wasn’t to blame. My bad mood was responsible for my pain.”
Annabel began to pet Freddie. “I think I’ve been angry with William. He says that he loves me, but I wonder about what that really means. I don’t think I matter to him in the way that I want.”
“I understand. I’ve been with enough guys to know that if you value what they want more than what you want for yourself, it does hurt.”
Annabel felt her compassionate side surfacing. She’d been with William for a very short time compared to all the years Elise had spent with ungrateful men. “You’ve been through a lot.”
Elise laughed. “That’s life. We all go through tough times. I’m just happy that I’m seeing a bit of daylight. With Michael and Carey’s help, I realized that there are lots of good men out there. Kevin and Tim are great, and so is Arel. And even if you don’t think so at the moment, I believe William is a very good man.”
Annabel swallowed back her sadness. “You’re right. William is a wonderful man. And I love him so much.”
“It’s nice to hear that,” a male voice said from the doorway.
When Annabel looked up, William was standing a few feet away. It was such a surprise that she could barely contain the thrill that surged through her body. Freddie was excited too. He jumped up and ran to the edge of the bed. His little tail was wagging back and forth, like a metronome gone haywire.
Annabel threw back the covers, forgetting that she was sick. With unbounded energy, she ran over to where William was standing and threw her arms around his neck. “William, I’ve missed you so much!”
* * * * *
After William’s arrival, Elise hastily gathered up Freddie and started for the door. As she was about to step into the hall, she couldn’t help herself. She glanced back at Annabel. William had her in his arms, holding her close as Annab
el hugged him back. All signs of distress were gone. Annabel was smiling and blissful. When she spoke, her voice had transformed. After days of miserable groans, the woman sounded happy again.
Elise closed the bedroom door and walked down the hall. She retrieved a tissue from her jean pocket and swiped at her teary eyes. Happy endings always made her cry.
“Are you okay?” Arel asked.
Elise let out a gasp. She hadn’t expected to see Arel sitting in the living room. But she quickly recovered when she realized Arel’s part in the happy ending. “Thank you for bringing William to Chicago. Annabel really needed to see him. She’s been so sad these last couple of days.”
Arel stood up and smiled. “I hope it’s okay that we let ourselves in. William wanted to surprise Annabel. And from what I heard, I think he succeeded.”
Elise tried, but she couldn’t stop a fresh round of tears. They flowed freely down her cheeks. “I’m sorry, but I get so emotional when things work out the way they’re supposed to.”
Arel frowned, stepped forward and produced a monogrammed handkerchief to replace her soggy tissue. “Is that what you think, that things are supposed to work out?”
Elise quickly snatched the cloth out of his hand and gave him Freddie to hold. After more tears and sniffles, she wiped her cheeks. “Of course I do. I’m not one of those writers who can end a story badly.”
“I suppose many people would feel you’re too optimistic.”
Elise laughed as she walked to the kitchen. “My books aren’t for everyone. But I do try to make sure my characters deal with real situations. And if they figure out a way to be happy, what’s the problem?”
“From what Michael’s said, you’ve been very successful with your books.”
Elise grabbed a mug off the counter. “Would you like something to drink?”
Arel shook his head. “No, thank you.”
Elise poured some coffee into her cup. “I’m lucky to do something that I love and get paid for it. Realistic or not, my readers can’t get enough of what I write.”
“Romance sells.”
Elise gazed dreamily into space. “He’s quite handsome, isn’t he?”
Arel glanced around. “Who?”
“William, of course. I only got a peek at him, but he’d make a good character for one of my books. He exudes charm and something else.”
Arel crossed his arms. “What’s that?”
Elise stared at her cup, thinking about how lucky Annabel was. Her new friend had found a man who clearly loved her. William’s pale blue eyes lit up with so much happiness when Annabel ran over to him. Elise wondered if a man would ever look at her that way.
Arel cleared his throat. “Excuse me, but you were saying something about—”
“About William, yes,” Elise sighed. “He has what some would call animal magnetism. In my books, I describe it as that confident, masculine presence that people notice. It’s a quality that women find very appealing. It can affect them in very noticeable ways.” She paused and studied Arel’s questioning eyes, but she wouldn’t let herself think about what those eyes could do to her. If she was ever the focus of Arel’s fluid, golden orbs, she’d become one of those looney school girls who went around swooning. She looked away and cleared her throat. “You have it, too, Arel,” she said in a matter-of-fact tone.
Arel blinked back as if she’d announced that he had green hair. “I do?”
Elise’s mind wandered for a brief instant. When she remembered the first time Arel had asked her out, her body trembled with anticipation. It was definitely one of those “moth to the flame” situations. “Oh yes, the first time I saw you, I—” She stopped herself in time. “I’m sorry, sometimes I ramble on.”
Arel’s face flushed red, and he quickly shifted his attention to Freddie. He stroked the puppy’s head in a distracted sort of way. When he looked at Elise again, he returned a forced smile. “Anyway, Freddie looks well. I think he’s grown since I saw him last.”
Elise was happy to change the topic. “Yes, the little scamp doesn’t feel feather-light anymore. Unfortunately, he still chews on things he shouldn’t. He found Annabel’s slipper yesterday. I’ll have to buy her a new pair.”
Arel handed Freddie back to Elise. “Oh well, he does seem to have a nice temperament in spite of his flaws. That counts for something.”
Elise laughed. “Of course, no matter what, I can’t stay mad at him for long.”
Arel turned and started for the door. “I better be going. I have things to catch up on at home.”
Elise followed him as he walked to the foyer. “I wonder if . . . if you—”
“Yes?” Arel turned around so quickly they nearly collided. “Do you need something?”
When Arel asked the question, his eyes went brighter than Elise had ever seen them. They were so bright and compelling that she was tempted to tell Arel exactly what she needed. She needed for him to forget about the past with her and with Claire. She needed him to come to his senses and see that he had the perfect woman standing in front of him. Well, maybe not a perfect woman, but certainly a willing-to-try-again woman. After a hasty breath, she managed a more reasonable request. “I have to run to the store. Annabel’s almost out of cold medicine. If I leave Freddie here, he’ll be scratching on her door. And I don’t think that Annabel or William would want that. Could I leave him with you for a few minutes?”
Arel’s expectant face went instantly flat as his frown slipped into place again. “Oh, yes, Freddie . . . I see. No problem.”
“If you close all your bedroom doors, I think your shoes will be safe. And I’ll only be gone for thirty minutes. And don’t worry, he doesn’t have any accidents now.”
“Do you think I could take him for a walk? After sitting on a plane, I could use the exercise.”
Elise smiled. “He’d love a walk. I haven’t been out with him as much since Annabel’s been sick. I’ll get his leash.”
* * * * *
Arel had never taken a dog for a walk before. He’d never had much to do with any animals for that matter. Growing up, his father’s hounds were kept in the kennels. He didn’t mind. Once his brother was killed, animals weren’t on his radar. His mind was centered on staying out of his father’s reaches and staying alive. Recently, mice were the exception. He’d had some incredible experiences with the tiny, intelligent creatures.
Now, Arel had another animal in his care, little Freddie. As they made their way down the street, the puppy didn’t seem to mind the weather. As a cold wind ripped through Arel’s body and forced him to zip up his jacket, the puppy seemed oblivious. Freddie was all about forward motion and pulled on the leash with all his strength.
Arel worried that Freddie might hurt himself and decided the only answer was to step up his own pace. Before he knew it, he was jogging. Freddie seemed thrilled by Arel’s decision. He matched Arel’s speed and became a little blur of fur.
After a block, Freddie suddenly slowed down, found a patch of grass and relieved himself. Afterwards, his agenda changed from running to exploration. As Freddie’s nose sniffed out every bush and tree in the area, he reminded Arel of a stockbroker studying the morning paper’s business section.
Arel’s mind began to wander too. He’d dated two women recently. They were very different. While Claire contemplated a campaign to eradicate hunger in some third world country, Elise was worried about her houseguest. Peggy told him that Elise spent many an hour with Annabel, trying to distract her and help her to feel better.
Arel wondered how Annabel would fare in Claire’s care. When he’d been ill, Claire saw it as a weakness. He doubted that she’d have much sympathy for Annabel’s bout with a cold. No matter, he hoped that Claire was doing well. She hadn’t taken his calls or bothered to respond to his texts. The more he thought about their relationship, the more he believed that Claire did what she thought was best. At the same time, he wondered why her heart was so closed when it came to any real intimacy. Why was she so judgmental
about everyone who didn’t conform to her strict code of conduct?
On the other hand, Elise seemed to have room for various opinions. If only she’d have been receptive when they were dating, perhaps they could have had more of a future.
Arel was brought back to the moment by Freddie. The puppy tugged on his leash again, ready to move on to a new section of real estate that needed sniffing.
Arel scowled as his thoughts moved on too. He couldn’t believe how animated Elise became when she talked about William. “I think your owner is very impressed with him, Freddie. Did you notice how rosy her cheeks got when she talked about his animal magnetism? Of course, she did say I possessed the same quality, but her tone was about as enthusiastic as warm milk.”
Arel stooped over and ran a hand over Freddie’s quivering, inquisitive body. “We better head back, Freddie. Elise said she’d only be gone for a few minutes.”
Freddie responded happily to Arel’s shared confidences and affection. The puppy turned around and tried to lick Arel’s face.
Arel jerked to his feet and smiled. “I don’t think so, my small friend.”
As they approached Elise’s house, her car was pulling into her driveway. Arel waved to her as she got out. Freddie’s greeting was more enthusiastic. He whined and struggled on his leash again.
Elise hurried over, clutching her coat against the gusting wind. “This cold snap is brutal,” she gasped.
Arel handed her Freddie’s leash. “Would you like to come into the house for a few minutes? I could fix you a hot cup of tea.”
Elise’s eyes sparkled with surprise, and she turned suddenly shy. “That would be nice.”
Arel tried not to think about how sweet Elise’s voice could be. He also tried to dismiss the instant heat he felt. Unzipping his jacket, he smiled back. “Yes, if you come in for a while, you’d give Annabel and William a few more minutes of privacy.”
Elise blushed as she picked up Freddie. “Yes, Annabel and William, I’m sure they’re catching up.”