Tainted Blood

by S S Bazinet

  “I don’t know. William says I should trust myself, but it’s hard when I’m making a lifetime commitment. After Claire—”

  “Maybe you’re worrying too much,” Rolphe suggested.

  “But what if it doesn’t work out?”

  Rolphe could see Arel’s anxiety mounting. “When I got married, I hoped it would last forever. I’d found a person to love, and then we had two beautiful children. And I was fortunate to have a number of years living what I considered my dream. When I lost it all, I became bitter, and—”

  “That’s my point. So many things I’ve tried have ended badly.”

  “Arel, you didn’t let me finish.”

  Arel’s form flickered a bit too brightly and then steadied again. “Fine, go on.”

  “After my family was gone, I wasted so much time being angry. Now, I realize how foolish that was.”

  “You had a terrible loss. Why wouldn’t you be devastated?”

  “Because my anger and rage led me down the wrong path. Look where I ended up. Like you’ve often told me, I became a monster.”

  “What’s your point, Rolphe?”

  “Maybe if I’d remembered the gift I had and the happiness I experienced, I could have made better choices. I might have married again.” Rolphe’s chest tightened. “Recently, I had another bout of self-pity and look where it got me. I nearly destroyed my life.”

  Arel had started to pace, but he stopped and gave Rolphe a quick glance. “For years, I felt guilty about my first relationship. I never allowed myself to think about all the happiness that Justina and I had.”

  “Never?”

  Arel shook his head. “No, I just tried to put it all behind me.”

  Rolphe stepped forward cautiously. “Then my advice is simple. Don’t just make peace with the past, remember the gift that your time with this lady gave you.”

  “What gift? Justina killed herself!”

  “Arel, please, I know many people only remember the pain they experienced in the past, but shouldn’t we also be thankful for the happy times we had, the times when our hearts were filled with love?”

  “I don’t know. How would that change anything?”

  “Did you have any problem loving this person, Justina?”

  Arel let a weak smile replace his frown. “No, we were both young and innocent. When we met, neither of us held back our feelings. We adored each other.”

  “And when you let yourself remember those times, how do you feel?”

  Arel paused. After a few moments, his gaze softened. “It’s almost like I’m young again . . . like I’m in another world where only the joy of love exists.”

  Rolphe laughed. “That’s the miracle that I discovered too.”

  Arel’s eyes widened again. “Miracle?”

  “What else would you call it? We never lose the happiness we once felt. It’s like a treasure that we’ve hidden away. But if we give ourselves permission to look for it, it’s there. The joy, the happiness is there.”

  Arel stared back for a long moment, as if he didn’t know how to quite understand what Rolphe was saying. Without a word, Arel’s astral body disappeared.

  Rolphe went back to his easel and sat down. At first he was troubled. Had he given Arel the words of wisdom that the man had come for? He picked up his brush and sighed. It didn’t matter. He only knew that what he’d told Arel resonated deep in his own heart.

  A person could always find happiness in the past and bring it forward. When he remembered being back with his wife and children, just the thought of enjoying a meal together brought a smile to his face. The memory was enough to get him painting again.

  As he dabbed a bit of crimson onto the canvas and allowed his good memories to join his present moment, his smile broadened. Past and present seemed to come together. Everything he’d experienced joined the moment and became a vast palette that he could choose from. He could decide how to create his life, just like he decided what colors to use on his paintings. It was a heady thought that he hoped he could remember. But for the time being, he knew his only job was to enjoy his vision of a glorious garden and bring it to life on his canvas.

  * * * * *

  Arel found Rolphe’s advice to be so unexpected that he lost his astral connection. In an instant, he returned to his body with a strange excitement rippling through his bones. Rolphe, of all people, had come up with a new and positive approach to the past. It was such a different way of thinking that Arel was slightly dazed by its implications. As his mind began to clear, Michael knocked on his door and looked in.

  Arel gave him a welcoming smile. “Good to see you, Michael. I need to bounce some ideas around. And I suspect that what I want to discuss is right up your alley.”

  “Is this about your recent excursion?” Michael asked as he sat down. “I can always tell when you’re doing a bit of traveling.”

  “After my almost fatal trip to Rolphe’s, I’m sure you’re wary of my astral journeys.”

  “Yes, I can be concerned.”

  “My recent visit was a very positive one if I can believe what Rolphe told me. He has a different way of viewing the past. He advised me to only think about the positive parts. And when I remembered my love for Justina, he was right. Without the guilt, the experience felt beautiful and wondrous again.”

  Michael laughed. “So why are you frowning?”

  “I always thought that the past was there to instruct us, to help us do a better job with the future. I guess that’s why I’ve held on to remorse and my failings. I don’t want to repeat my mistakes.”

  “In my world, there are no mistakes.”

  “How can you say that? What about me creating an alternate world and going to war with the Creator’s views? I criticized the Divine plan. Surely that was a mistake.”

  “Or was it a way for you to learn more about how you defined the idea of good and evil? Remember what you learned?”

  Arel let out a wistful sigh. “I realized that I was holding on to my father’s hatred and letting it govern how I saw life.”

  “And?”

  Arel sat up more attentively. “When I let go of the hatred and asked for your help, everything shifted and the battle was over.”

  “Maybe viewing the past and looking for the good parts is another way of doing the same thing. But if you keep holding on to your mistakes, it’s like holding on to your father’s anger. Life becomes a dark place.”

  Arel paused and stared back at his angelic mentor. Michael’s bright, serene gaze was a place of calm and certainty. “When I’ve been in those dark places, you’ve been the light, Michael. Your presence has been so steady, like a beacon in every storm I’ve been through. So why do I ever forget to heed your wisdom?”

  “It takes time to know yourself, my friend. After receiving my blood, so much discord and pain came to the surface. You had to face so much that you’d denied. And the events that followed came so quickly that you were overwhelmed. But you’ve done a remarkable job staying the course. I know you’ve almost given up a number of times, but in the end, you found the courage to keep going. If you can focus on that one fact alone, it will help you to see the light in yourself.”

  Fifty-Two

  ELISE LOOKED AT Arel and smiled. He sat next to her physically, and yet he was so far away. She didn’t mind. The man she was going to marry was often absorbed in some inner musings. It wasn’t a fault. It was part of his nature. She leaned over and kissed his cheek. “What are you thinking about?” she asked.

  Arel jerked a little and smiled back. “What did you say?”

  Elise sighed. “I think I’ve fallen in love with a philosopher.”

  “Me, a philosopher? I don’t think so.”

  “But you do spend a lot of time trying to understand life, don’t you?”

  Arel was holding Freddie, and he began to run his hand over the sleeping puppy’s soft fur. “I was thinking about something that Rolphe told me today.”

  “He’s your friend in Paris, r
ight?”

  Arel hesitated. “Yes, I suppose he is a friend. Anyway, he said that people need to remember the good parts of life, not the bad ones.”

  “That makes sense. When I held on to memories that fed my bitterness, I wasn’t happy with myself or anyone else.”

  “And now?”

  Elise giggled. “Look at me. I’m in love with the most gorgeous guy in the world.”

  Arel’s golden eyes became animated, and he sat up a little straighter. “You really feel that way about me even though—”

  “Even though you’re always trying to make the world a perfect place?”

  Arel hesitated. “I never thought of myself in that way. I thought I was merely obsessive.”

  “There might be some of that too, but I love that you care about everything. It’s what makes you gorgeous inside too.”

  “It’s strange that you’d say that. Claire claimed to be the one who cared about everything.”

  “Oh please, I associate caring with kindness and a good heart.”

  “In Claire’s eyes, I was totally deficient in any quality that made me worthwhile.”

  “I don’t want to hear any more about Claire’s overbearing opinions.”

  Arel laughed. “But you should be happy that I was with her.”

  Elise crossed her arms. The idea of Arel and Claire together brought on a sudden bout of annoyance. “And why would I want to think of you with a beautiful woman like Claire.”

  Arel carefully shifted Freddie’s dozing body to the cushion next to him, turned to Elise and put his arm around her shoulders. “My dearest Elise, after being with Claire, I recognize what true beauty is. And you’re the perfect example of that quality. The longer we’re together, the more I realize how fortunate I am.”

  Elise gave him a sideways glance. Then she began to finger the engagement ring on her finger. “Really? You’ve been very quiet ever since you asked me to marry you.”

  Arel pulled her closer. “Please try not to read too much into my ‘insanity’ as William calls it.”

  Elise put her head on his shoulder. “You can be as insane as you want as long as you truly love me. But sometimes, I wonder if—”

  “Elise, sometimes I don’t have a clue about what love is. I think I’ve shut it out of my life for so long I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel, especially after Claire.”

  “I understand that. Why do you think I fought the idea of loving you? I was afraid of getting hurt again.”

  Arel stiffened. “Have I hurt you? If I have, I’m sorry.”

  “I’d accept your apology, but I’m not someone’s victim anymore. And that feels very good, so does being in love with you. It’s like I can see beneath the ‘insanity’ that you mentioned. In fact, we’ve all been slightly insane if you ask me.”

  “And what do you see beneath my insanity?”

  Elise kissed his cheek again. “You’re going to think this strange, but sometimes I see you as a little boy. Your hair is black and curly, and you have these big, amazing golden eyes. The vision is so clear that I feel like I’m a little girl who’s sitting next to you. When we look at each other, you’re like a friend that I’ve known forever.”

  Arel glanced at her and smiled. “I can see you clearly, too. What an adorable child you were.”

  “Are you reading my mind?”

  “Maybe or perhaps I’m tapping into my own vision.”

  “Wouldn’t that be interesting if we could both see the same thing?”

  Arel’s smile broadened into a grin. “I have a better idea. Let’s forget about childhood. I’d like to appreciate who we are now.”

  Elise shrugged contentedly. “I agree. I’m happier than I’ve ever been before.”

  Arel remained very still. Only his eyes strayed and targeted Elise with a glowing intensity. After a brief pause, he stood up and reached out for her hand. “Elise, why stop at happiness?”

  Elise took Arel’s hand and let him pull her to her feet. “I don’t understand.”

  “Really? I’m surprised.”

  “What are you getting at?”

  Arel tightened his grip just a little before he spoke. “Elise, you’re a romance writer. You should know all about that subject and what it leads to?”

  “Romance?” Elise returned a look of confusion, but as she studied the way Arel was looking at her, everything became very clear. She felt a flush of excitement warm her cheeks. “I was beginning to think you didn’t want me in that way.”

  Arel put his arms around her and pulled her close. “And I wanted to make sure you knew what you’d be getting into.”

  Elise blinked back and noticed how bright Arel’s eyes had become. Supposedly, they were windows to a person’s soul, and Arel’s glowing windows seemed to be inviting her to explore their depths. She hesitated. What if she saw something she didn’t want to see?

  Arel pushed a strand of her hair back and smiled. “It’s okay, I won’t bite, I promise.”

  Arel’s comment made her laugh. It also broke her spell of uncertainty. She immediately lifted her eyes to look into his. She didn’t know what she’d see, but her immediate reaction was voiced in a hushed tone. “Oh, how amazing!”

  Nothing had prepared Elise for the portals to Arel’s soul. Their golden brilliance was dazzling. Like small twin stars, they filled her with a wonderful sense of well-being and joy. Staring back, she was mesmerized and almost lost herself in their boundless expanse. “Oh my, Arel, I don’t think you have to worry about the definition of love. From what I’m seeing, it can’t be defined.”

  She heard his laughter in her mind and drew back enough to examine his face. Even if his inner light was other-worldly, his mischievous grin was definitely earth bound.

  Arel’s telepathic voice drifted across her thoughts.

  “You’re lovely, Elise! And I’ve wanted you for so long.”

  His words were fluid and capable of going beyond the limits of her mind. Each syllable was like a small flame that coursed through every part of her. She felt a burning blush of desire take hold that matched his. “You said something about going beyond my idea of happiness. Just what do you have in mind?”

  Arel’s lips brushed her ear. “Let’s just say I’ve heard about unknown places where ecstasy resides. But not everyone is ready for those places.”

  His warm breath, so close, made her throw her hands around his neck without further hesitation. “I’m ready!”

  Arel stared down at her for a long moment as if he was still evaluating her sincerity. “Are you really sure that this is what you want, Elise? Because if it isn’t—”

  She pressed herself against him and sighed. “Arel, no matter how you see yourself or how you think about the idea of love, I know what I want.”

  “I see,” Arel said as he nibbled her ear.

  Elise pulled away enough to run a finger over his lips. “Good! Then I take it that we agree.”

  “Oh yes, we certainly do!”

  Arel’s adamant statement was followed by his laughter. It was expressed openly this time, and it filled the room. Without any sign of effort, he swept Elise up in his arms. At first, he kissed her softly, then with more passion.

  As he swung her around in joyful abandon, Elise knew that they both burned with an inner fire. But it wasn’t a fire that consumed the other. Instead, this fire wanted to find a common place to burn freely. Elise gave herself to the feeling. She wanted to go beyond her dreams, to that place that Arel spoke about, to that place of ecstasy.

  Fifty-Three

  WILLIAM FOLLOWED ANNABEL into their London foyer. After he brought in their luggage, he shut the door behind him. “I can’t believe it. It’s over.”

  Annabel hung up her coat and gave him a puzzled look. “What’s over?”

  “Arel’s solitary trek through life. I didn’t think he would ever find someone. When he put that ring on Elise’s finger and said, ‘I do’ to her, I nearly collapsed with relief.”

  “It was nice that
they waited until spring when they could have the wedding in Arel’s back yard. The garden was so gorgeous, thanks to Michael.”

  “Are you kidding? Those months of waiting for them to tie the knot were the worst.”

  “I thought that once Arel made up his mind, he stopped complaining.”

  “That’s true, but you know how unpredictable Arel can be. Every time I heard his ring tone, my heart sped up. I was sure he’d found some reason to back out.”

  Annabel took his hand and smiled. “You have been rather tense at times, but luckily we also managed to enjoy each other.”

  William pulled her close. “On the plane, all I could think about was coming home, forgetting everything and being with you.”

  “Really?”

  “I think I’m finally getting into the idea that a normal life could have some wonderful advantages.”

  “I’m so glad that you’ve made peace with those inner demons that plagued you a few months ago.”

  “Yes, I feel like I’m able to appreciate more about myself and my life with you.”

  Annabel smiled back broadly. “And maybe you’ll also have room for someone else.”

  “What do you mean? Does someone want to visit us?”

  “Maybe.”

  “Who?”

  “A very tiny someone.”

  William felt his legs go weak. He had to grab for the wall to steady himself. “Are you saying—”

  Annabel’s smile broadened. “I’m not sure, my dearest William, but it’s a definite possibility that you’re going to be a father.”

  Continued in Book Six: Forgotten Blood

  Thank you for taking the time to read the fifth book, Tainted Blood, in THE VAMPIRE RECLAMATION PROJECT series. If you enjoyed it, please consider telling your friends or posting a short review. Word of mouth is an author's best friend and much appreciated. Thank you. — S. S. Bazinet

  FORGOTTEN BLOOD

  Book Six

  The Vampire Reclamation Project Series

  Arel faces a demonic ghost named Col whose only aim is torment and destruction. When Col invades the mind of a friend and tortures her, Arel is desperate to stop this villain. But he soon finds out that fighting this master of darkness won’t work. So what can he do to safeguard himself and those he loves? His angelic friend, Michael, proposes a solution. It works . . . for a while. In the end, an even more drastic solution must be found, and Arel is prepared to do anything to stop Col.