I hung up and called Janice, a friend from my book club who was a family law attorney. We spoke for a long time, me railing against Leo and her trying to talk me down. She encouraged me to take the settlement, convincing me that a long, drawn-out fight was good for no one. He was offering me a lot of money, money I needed. I had given up my dreams of becoming an attorney and had spent the years supporting Leo. Now I found myself with no job, and no real prospects, given my responsibilities to my mother. I’d heard of so many women who’d been screwed over by the men in their lives, women who’d been married for years and ended up broke after all their legal fees, while their ex-husbands drove around in luxury cars and took expensive vacations. I had to think of my future. And I had to think of what was best for the children. So I took Janice’s advice and signed them. Sobbing, I texted Celeste to see if she could fit me in, but she couldn’t see me until the following day.
My mind was racing the next day as I drove over and waited outside Celeste’s office. I looked up as her door opened and she beckoned me in, her shiny blond bob swinging back and forth, and looking younger than the thirty-four years my googling had informed me of. She was one of those people who looked perpetually content. Maybe it was because she realized her life was pretty good compared to her patients’ crappy existences.
“Hello, Joanna. Please come in.”
Her office was modern, all sharp corners and clean edges. A boxy gray sofa with stiff and unyielding cushions was where I spent my time, while she sat in a sleek red chair that looked just as uncomfortable. The walls were the one soothing element in the office, a warm burnt orange that made you want to curl up with a blanket and a good book.
“You sounded upset in your message. Has something happened?” she asked, settling into her chair, pad on her lap and pen in hand.
“Leo served me with divorce papers yesterday. He’s making it look like I abandoned him by moving out, even though he’s the one who encouraged me to go and take care of my mother.”
She looked perplexed. “How can he do that?”
“He’s a lawyer, and a damn good one. He knows practically every judge in the state. He wants a fast divorce, uncontested, and offered me a lot of money to sign.”
She leaned back in her chair and waited for me to go on.
I wiped a tear from my cheek and grabbed a tissue from the box in front of me. “I refused when I first saw the papers, but he threatened me. Said he’d get everything held up in court and I wouldn’t see a dime.”
“Couldn’t your attorney do anything?”
I shook my head. “I don’t have one, but I spoke to a lawyer friend who told me Leo could do that if he wanted. She offered to help me. She’d seen women married to millionaires who couldn’t afford groceries because the men had tied the money up until the final settlement. I have to take care of my mother. I don’t have a job. All the bank accounts are in his name . . .”
“What are you going to do?”
I shrugged my shoulders. “I signed them. I’m hoping he’ll come to his senses and realize that this crazy affair with Piper is nothing more than a midlife crisis, an antidote to his depression. What else can I do?”
“What about the children?”
“I could have fought to have them with me, but I don’t want them around my mother. I’ve told you what my childhood was like, all the negativity and manipulation. I won’t let her do that to Stelli and Evie. Besides, there are only two bedrooms at her house. The custody can be reassessed once I have my own place, which I can’t get until my mother’s recovered, anyway.”
“Joanna, I understand that your mother’s vulnerable right now, but so are your children. Can you hire someone to stay with your mother so you can get a new place where the children can be with you?”
“I guess I could, but I’m honestly just . . . in a bit of shock. Of course I want to be with them, but I also want what’s best for them. To move them out of the house they’re used to, their neighborhood friends and school—it’s not fair to them.”
“They’re used to the house, but children adapt.”
What did she know about children? “If I recall correctly, you’re not a mother, right?”
A frown crossed her face quickly. “Well, no—”
“Then you don’t get it. When you’re a parent, you put your children first, not yourself. Evie and Stelli don’t need to be dragged all over the place. They need stability. It’s bad enough they’re having to deal with problems between Leo and me. I won’t allow them to be the sacrificial lambs.”
Celeste put a hand out. “Okay, okay. I’m not suggesting that at all. I suppose you know what’s best for your own children. I’m just saying that they need their mother more than they need a nice house.” She arched an eyebrow.
I was getting exasperated. “Of course they need me. But this is only temporary. Leo has to come to his senses. If I go and buy a new house and get it ready for the kids, he’ll think I’ve given up on him.”
And there it was again. The look of pity on her face. She took a minute before answering. “We’ve discussed Leo’s distance these past few months and your suspicions that he was seeing another woman. And now he’s admitted that he loves someone else. You’ve even signed divorce papers. Don’t you think it’s time you did give up on him? I’m concerned, Joanna, that you’re holding on to an illusion that you can magically make things right again.”
I shook my head, my face hot. “It’s not magic. It’s love. It’s believing in the power of love and the power of our years together. Yes, I signed the divorce papers, but only because I want him to come back to me of his own accord, not because I’m holding a piece of paper over his head. And besides, Piper has bewitched him and turned him against me. I know she’s hiding something, and I’m going to find out exactly who she is and what she’s done.”
She cocked her head. “Forgive me, Joanna, but you’re talking out of both sides of your mouth. On the one hand, you say Leo is a wonderful judge of character, yet he chose Piper. If he’s such a smart and savvy lawyer, don’t you think he’d be able to see through her if she really were hiding some kind of nefarious past?”
I shook my head.
“I think you need to work on acceptance,” she continued, her voice gentle. “You need to start a new life without him. I know this is probably bringing back all the abandonment issues from your father, but it’s not healthy to delude yourself.”
I could feel the vein in my neck pulsating and had to clench my hands together to keep from screaming at her. “You’re wrong! My mother drove my father away. I’ve been nothing but wonderful to Leo. He’s going to realize what he’s throwing away.”
She pursed her lips and clicked her pen a few times. “Let’s pick this up in two days, during our regular appointment on Friday. I’d like you to really think about what’s happened and what it is that you need, Joanna. Try not to focus so much on Leo and saving him from Piper, but on how you’re going to build a life as a divorced mom.”
I didn’t bother reiterating that I had no such plans. It didn’t matter what Celeste thought. I knew Leo, and I knew he’d come to his senses eventually. I just had to do whatever I could to make sure it was sooner rather than later.
17
Piper
Piper unpacked her grocery bag, where a jar of Jif peanut butter sat on top—Leo had been very specific about the brand Stelli liked. She unscrewed the lid and, bringing the jar to her nose, sniffed and made a face. Even the smell said unhealthy. Then a can of tuna for Evie—Piper shook her head. All that mercury. She wondered why Joanna hadn’t tried to improve their food choices. She continued unpacking, finding more of the items she’d chosen, like a box of organic granola bars and a fresh pineapple.
Leo was bringing the children to her house for lunch. They had agreed that it might be better and less upsetting for them to meet her here for the first time. It would seem more casual, like dropping in on a friend, rather than having her come into their home. And even though she
and Leo had talked it through at length, trying to foresee any hiccups, she was still nervous. What if they hated her on sight? Their mother hadn’t been gone that long. Piper would have to make them believe that she and their father were just good friends. Maybe they’d come to see her as a friend, too, and then, when things progressed, they would be more likely to accept the changes.
It was ridiculous to feel so apprehensive, but what kept running through her mind was the night Mia had discovered that her father and Piper were dating. The ensuing confrontation had gone very badly, with the girl either snarling at Piper or not speaking to her, making it plain that she had no intention of accepting Piper. Her responses to Piper’s polite questions were curt and snide, unless she was ignoring her completely, which was usually the case. Piper breathed in and out, trying to settle her nerves and her thumping heart. It would be different this time, she told herself. Stelli and Evie were young. They would adapt.
When the doorbell rang, it jarred her, and she felt her pulse quicken once again as she opened the door. Leo stood between the children, each of them with a hand in his.
“Hello,” Piper said brightly. “I’m so glad you’re here. Come in.”
Evie smiled up at her shyly, but Stelli’s face remained impassive. Piper swallowed and took a step back as they entered, searching Leo’s face for some sign of reassurance. He winked at her as he ushered the children in, and she felt better.
“Piper,” Leo began, as they stood in the foyer. “I’d like you to meet Stelli and Evie.” He placed one hand on Evie’s shoulder and his other on Piper’s, nudging them closer to each other.
Piper reminded herself that she needed to be careful. Even though they were young, the children would pick up on any physical affection between her and Leo. It would be hard to keep her hands to herself after the delicious intimacy they now shared, but it was necessary at this point. She bent down so that she was eye level with them. “Your father and I are good friends, and I’m really happy to meet his two favorite people.”
Evie’s smile grew wider, but Stelli gave her a sullen look, one that reminded her of Mia.
She stood up straight and beseeched Leo with her eyes. “Well,” she said, turning to the kids, “I’ve made some lunch for us, and I thought we could eat on the back porch by the water. What do you think?”
“I love the water,” Evie said politely.
“Sounds good. Do you need some help in the kitchen?” Leo asked.
“No. I’m fine. Why don’t you take the children outside? I’ll bring everything out. We can sit and talk and get to know each other.”
The three of them were down at the water’s edge when Piper placed the lunch tray on the table she’d set earlier, and she walked along the stone path leading to the pebbly sand to join them. Leo was showing Stelli how to skip stones, but the boy wasn’t having much luck. Piper picked up a pebble, bent her wrist back, let it go, and watched the pebble bounce across the water three times.
“Hey, girl. You’re pretty good,” Leo said.
“Lots of practice. I grew up on the water.”
Evie looked up at her with a shy smile, but Stelli glared at her.
“Can I show you how?” she asked him, hoping to get on his good side.
He shook his head. “I don’t want to throw anymore,” he said, and walked away from them toward the house.
She felt herself deflate, and Leo put a hand on her shoulder. “Don’t worry, he’ll come around. Give it time.”
They walked up the slight hill together, and the three of them took their seats at the table while Piper filled their plates.
Stelli picked up his sandwich, examined it, and took a bite. “Peanut butter and jelly is my favorite,” he said as he chewed. Then he made a face and put the sandwich down, pushing the plate away from himself. “The jelly’s too lumpy. Yuck!”
“I’m sorry, Stelli. I can make you another,” Piper said, swallowing the urge to correct his poor manners. She took his plate and stood.
But he shook his head. “That’s okay. I don’t like your bread either. Do you have any cookies?”
“I’m afraid I don’t. How about a banana?” She held one out to him.
“I guess.”
Leo gave Piper a sheepish look and shrugged. “Picky eater.”
Piper smiled at him, pretending to sympathize. “How’s your tuna, Evie?”
“Good. Thank you, Piper.”
At least she was a sweet child, seemingly without a care in the world, her bare legs swinging back and forth under the glass table.
“So, guys,” Leo said, “did I tell you that Piper has a really big sailboat? And she told me she would take you for a ride on it if you’d like.”
“Cool!” Evie said. “Can we go now?”
Before Piper could answer, Stelli spoke up. “I don’t like sailboats. They go slow. I like our boat.”
The rest of their lunch was more of the same, with Leo trying to lighten the mood, Evie responding positively, and Stelli squelching all attempts at connection. Piper was becoming more annoyed by the minute and was counting the seconds until this visit was over.
“We’ll help clear everything,” Leo said when they’d finished.
As they walked through the kitchen to the living room, Piper’s collection of blown-glass African animals caught Stelli’s attention. He walked over to the shelf, and Piper followed him. “They’re terrific, aren’t they? I got them in South Africa.”
He continued to stand there, transfixed by the figures, and Evie came over to see them, too.
“Which do you like the best?” she asked.
“The rhinoceros,” Stelli said without hesitating.
She looked over at Leo and smiled. “Here,” she said, taking the plate with his uneaten sandwich from Stelli. “Your father and I will put the dishes away. You stay here and look at the animals.”
As she and Leo walked to the kitchen, he whispered, “See? I told you he’d come around. Nothing to worry about.”
“You’re right. I just want them to like me.”
He kissed her on the nose. “They’re going to love you just as much as I do when they get to know you better.”
She nodded but felt a gnawing doubt.
When they left shortly afterward, Evie said a nice thank-you, but Stelli simply ran out the door without a backward glance. The boy was going to take some work, Piper reflected, but Leo Drakos was worth it. She cleaned up and was about to go upstairs and read when she noticed a bare space on the shelf displaying the animals. She’d bought a collection of the big five: elephant, buffalo, leopard, lion, and rhino. The rhino was gone. That little . . .
She stood there, staring straight ahead, trying to think. Obviously, he’d taken it, but she didn’t want to upset Leo by accusing his son of stealing. She told herself to practice pausing and breathing deeply. She was too angry right now—she’d wait at least an hour and then give Leo a call.
Making herself a cup of peppermint tea, she took her book of affirmations and sat outside on the porch. By the time she’d finished reading and reciting a few to herself, she felt much better. Maybe Stelli hadn’t meant to steal the rhino. He could have just put it in his pocket absentmindedly.
She punched in Leo’s number, and he answered on the first ring.
“Missing me already?”
She chuckled. “You know it. Just wanted to say what a pleasure it was meeting your adorable children. I hope they had a nice time.”
“They did. Thank you for going out of your way for them.”
“Um . . . I was wondering, by any chance, did my glass rhinoceros end up at your house?”
“What do you mean?” His tone became serious.
She laughed nervously. “The kids were looking at the animals, and I can’t find the rhino. Maybe one of them put it down somewhere, and I just can’t find it? Would you mind asking?”
“Sure, hold on.”
She paced while she waited, hoping Stelli would come clean.
�
�No, sorry. Neither of them knows what happened to it. Stelli said he put it back next to the lion.”
She forced a casual tone in her voice. “No worries. It probably fell behind the shelf. I’ll find it.”
They chatted amiably for a few more minutes, but Piper’s heart was beating furiously. The kid was a little liar, and Leo was blind to his flaws. She intended to clear his vision.
18
Joanna
Even though it had been a month since I’d signed the papers, I still held out hope that the children might be the vehicle to getting us back together. Of course I never said anything to them about it, but I knew that if I made their visits special, they’d go home and tell Leo how much they wanted me to come back. We’d walk to the beach playground a few blocks away, and I’d push the tire swing as we talked about their day. Some days, we’d go over to the little store and get candy. I did whatever I could to make them happy in the few hours before Rebecca came back to pick them up, and I forced myself to put on a brave face so they wouldn’t be too upset.
I knew that Leo was still seeing Piper; I’d seen his car at her house on a few occasions when I’d driven by. But he never seemed to spend the night, and that gave me hope that this was just a mad fling. The children had also mentioned their visit to her house a few weeks ago. I kept my voice casual and asked what the occasion was. They both shrugged and said it had been boring. But I knew if Leo had introduced the children to her, that meant it was getting serious.
The only thing that helped the time pass was the unrelenting pressure of taking care of Mom all day, after which I’d fall into bed exhausted every night. She needed help to get to the bathroom, to get into the shower, and to get dressed. She was terrified of falling and breaking another bone. Over the past weeks, I’d barely had any time to myself. Between visiting with the kids and taking care of her, everything had gone by in a blur. Mom was getting better, and I was hoping that by the time her leg was fully healed, Piper would be out of Leo’s system and he’d realize he wanted me back.
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