She led him over to the sofa and gave him a gentle nudge to sit. “Nikki offered me a partnership in the ice cream shop!” she said excitedly before letting out a soft scream. “She said she’d pay for all the renovations and equipment we’d need to set up the candy part of the shop, but we’ll work out financing so I could pay her back! Isn’t that amazing?”
There were a dozen questions racing through his mind, but he kept them to himself and jumped up to hug her. “It is! That is great news!”
“But wait,” she said, gently pushing him back on the sofa again. “That’s not the only thing that happened today.”
Now his curiosity was definitely piqued. What else could have happened that put that smile on her face?
“So after I left Nikki’s, I was walking around and just totally in the best mood when my phone rang. And you’ll never guess who it was.”
“Um…”
“It was Joy! Remember the pastry chef from Angelo’s?”
“Seriously? What did she want?” And yeah, he was a little annoyed because it would have been nice if this woman had reached out to check on Aspen after she was forced to quit her job, but…
“It turns out, Angelo was arrested for sexual assault,” she said with a satisfied smirk.
“No!”
She nodded excitedly. “Yup! As much as I hate it for the poor girl he did it too, I’m glad that she called him out on it and pressed charges.”
“Okay, so…what does that mean?” And dare he hope it meant she was coming back to Atlanta with him?
“Well, Angelo was the head chef and the restaurant was named after him, but he wasn’t the only owner. There’s a group who owns it with him and they are bringing in new management and a new chef and they want me to come back to work!”
“Aspen! That’s incredible!” He jumped up and hugged her again. “So what did you say? When do they need you to be back?”
Pulling back, she stared at him like he were crazy. “Back? Gabe, I’m not going back.”
And just like that, his heart sank.
“Oh, um…I just thought…” Slowly, he sat back down.
“Gabe,” she said softly, sitting beside him. “If I go back, I’ll be in the same position I was before–minus the sexual harassment. I’ll be working for someone else, dealing with another temperamental chef, and making the same money. I didn’t realize how unhappy I was until I was out of there.” Pausing, she took one of his hands in hers and squeezed it. “I’ve dreamed of having my own chocolate shop for as long as I can remember. And even though this won’t be all mine and I’m essentially piggy-backing on Nikki’s business, it’s a step in the right direction. How could I possibly turn that down?”
She needed him to understand and to be excited for her, but she could tell he was struggling with it.
“But you seemed so excited that she called…”
“I was because…well…it’s nice to be wanted. I liked knowing that Angelo is getting what he deserves and that they all know how he did me wrong.”
“Oh.”
“This is going to be a good thing, remember? You were the one telling me that I should go for this. Nikki making the offer was the sign I needed that this is where I’m supposed to be. I thought you’d be happy.”
The thing about knowing each other as long as they had was that Aspen could almost tell what he was thinking, even if he didn’t want to admit it. She sat back and watched as a myriad of emotions played out on his face, in his eyes, and when he finally spoke, she wasn’t sure if she was relieved or disappointed.
“You’re right,” he finally said. “You need to do this.”
There was no joy in his voice and his smile was forced.
“Gabe…”
“I guess I got excited about you coming back to Atlanta with me. For a minute I imagined you’d go back and stay with me until you found a place of your own again and…you know…we’d go back to the way things were.”
And just like that, her heart shattered in a million pieces.
It was crazy, really. It was what they had agreed upon. It wasn’t Gabe’s fault that she went and fell in love with him for real. She couldn’t blame him for thinking nothing had changed; after all, it wasn’t like she had told him.
Not really.
Swallowing hard, she forced her own smile. “Well, the good news is we’ll still get to see each other when you come home to visit your parents, right?”
He nodded. “Yeah. Sure.”
It got incredibly quiet.
And more than a little awkward.
After what felt like forever, Gabe asked, “So, have you given Nikki your answer?”
“Not yet. She wanted me to think about it.”
“Did you call your parents?”
She shook her head. “I really need to do that too.” Before she could say anything else, Gabe stood and looked down at her sadly.
“Tell you what, it sounds like you’ve got some things to do and it’s been a long day for me as well. Why don’t you make your calls and take the time you need to think and I’ll see you in the morning?”
Aspen jumped to her feet. “You’re leaving?”
He nodded. “I’m beat and after not really sleeping last night, I feel like I could crash right now.”
“Oh.” Then she smiled. “You could just climb up to the loft and I’ll join you in a little while.”
One large hand reached up and caressed her cheek. “Go make your calls and I’ll see you in the morning.” He kissed her softly and grabbed his coat before walking out the door.
And Aspen felt like he was leaving more than the tiny house.
For two days, Gabe saw very little of Aspen.
And not by his own doing.
It seemed as soon as she made up her mind about being partners with Nikki, things started moving faster than he would have thought possible. She and Nikki were talking to contractors and drawing up plans and making appointments with the bank…and he had no idea what decisions they’d come to because Aspen wasn’t seeking him out to talk about them.
Hell, the only time they really saw each other was over dinner and his parents were always there acting as if everything was just fine. Most of the conversation was directed at Aspen and how excited they were that she was going to be moving there.
Everyone was excited. Everywhere he went in town, people were talking to him about how happy they were about Aspen moving to Silver Bell Falls and bringing her famous gourmet chocolate creations to them. Then they’d gush about how much more she was going to be able to do now that she wasn’t having to work out of such a small kitchen.
These were all good conversations, and yet Gabe could barely bring himself to smile.
He was losing her.
It didn’t matter that she was moving to his hometown and practically moving in with his parents. The fact was that they were going to cross paths after Christmas–she’d be driving back to Silver Bell Falls while he was driving back to Atlanta–and after that, who knows when they’d see each other. Gabe didn’t make a habit out of coming home to visit much, mainly because he had to spend so much time here in November and December. So where did that leave them?
At some point, they were going to have to talk. But as he looked at his bedside clock and saw that it was after ten, he decided it would have to wait until tomorrow. He was tired, more than a little depressed, and not in the mood to bundle up to go out into the freezing temperatures.
Staring into the darkness, Gabe came to a hard truth–relationships change whether you want them to or not. Friendships fade, romantic relationships end, and long-distance relationships of any kind are exhausting and rarely work. He never thought he and Aspen would drift apart–never imagined a time when they weren’t in the same city or the same building. In his mind, she was always right there beside him. It never occurred to him that she would get married or move away, and that was just ignorance and selfishness on his part.
He let out a long breath and then froz
e when he heard a noise outside his bedroom door. Neither of his parents came up here–especially at this time of night–so that meant it could only be one person.
“Knock, knock,” Aspen whispered as she opened the door. Gabe was glad he had turned off the lights so she couldn’t see how pitiful he probably looked. “Are you awake?”
“Yeah,” he said quietly. A minute later, he felt her sitting on the bed beside him and then lying down. Gabe slid over to make room for her, rolling onto his side to face her in the dark. “You okay?”
“No.”
Then he felt even crappier for not trying harder to make time for her. “What’s going on?”
She stayed quiet for so long that he thought she wasn’t going to answer him.
And then she did.
“I’m mad at you, Gabriel.”
Why lie? “I’m mad at me, too. But I’m also mad at you.”
He felt her breath against his throat as she moved closer. “Then we need to talk. We’ve never gone for two days without talking to each other–especially when we’re mad.”
“I don’t even know what to say,” he admitted softly. “I’m happy for you and for the way things are falling into place, but the selfish part of me wants my best friend to come back to Atlanta with me.”
She went quiet again, and he wasn’t sure if it was what he said or if she were trying to find her own words.
“It would be easy for me to do that,” she finally said. “But that’s not what’s best for me. This partnership with Nikki and the chocolate business might fail, but I have to try. Do you understand that?”
Nodding, he carefully wrapped his arms around her because he needed the connection. “I do. I just hate…” Pausing, he tried again. “You are such a huge part of my life and I can’t imagine not seeing you every day. I know I’m not being fair and you have to know I’ll get over it, but after everything we’ve been through together–especially this last month–it’s hard to let it all go.”
“All of it?” she asked, her voice so low he almost didn’t hear her.
“All of it.” Kissing her forehead, he let out a long breath. “Part of me wishes we’d never crossed that line.”
He felt Aspen nod and then heard a small sniffle and knew she was trying not to cry.
“This move–this whole thing–feels like so much more,” he went on, “and I don’t know how to deal with it. You know I’m not good with this sort of thing.”
“Gabe…”
“But I want you to know that I am proud of you and I will support you and cheer you on because…I love you.”
“Oh…Gabe…”
“You’re the best friend I’ve ever had,” he admitted gruffly and was alarmed when she started sobbing loudly. “Um…Aspen?”
She smacked his chest. “Damn you.”
“What? What did I do?”
Pushing him away, Aspen went to scramble off the bed, but Gabe held her firm. “You just love me as a friend, you big jerk!”
“What?!”
“This entire month was nothing to you!” she cried. “But you know what? It was everything to me! Everything! And all this time, I’ve been waiting for you to tell me that you felt something for me–like really felt something for me–but I was fooling myself, wasn’t I? You’ll only ever see me as a friend.”
“Aspen…” She managed to roll away, but Gabe pulled her back until she was pinned beneath him, fighting him the entire time. “Would you stop…ow! Did you just bite me?”
“Let me up! We have nothing else to talk about.”
“No,” he said, patience gone. His grip on her wrists tightened. “I don’t know what it is that you want from me, dammit! We’re friends, we’re pretend boyfriend and girlfriend, then we’re not friends, and I’m not allowed to love you as a friend! What is it I’m supposed to do here?”
“You’re supposed to love me,” she said miserably. “Not just as a friend, but as a woman. I thought…I hoped…” Letting out a long, shaky breath, she stopped fighting him. “And you’re supposed to want to stay here in Silver Bell Falls with me.”
Groaning, he rested his forehead against hers.
“You know how you feel about moving back to Atlanta?”
She nodded.
“That’s how I feel about here. I grew up here and it was fine, but…I don’t know if I can move back here. I enjoy living in a bigger city now and with my filmmaking…”
“You know you can do that anywhere,” she countered, but she sounded tired. “We want different things and…and that’s never happened before. I hate it and I hate that you just said you wished we’d never crossed the line because to me, it was everything.”
Holy. Crap.
“I…I don’t know what to say.”
Tell her you love her, you idiot!
“And that says it all,” she said quietly, letting out another shuddery breath. “I…I should go.”
“Don’t. Don’t go. Stay with me tonight.” Gently, he moved off of her and rolled onto his back, but wrapped an arm around her to keep her close.
“I can’t do this, Gabe. I can’t stay here like this with you because it’s killing me. I want you. All of you. And not just as my best friend, but as my lover, my everything. And knowing you don’t want that…” She started crying again and Gabe pulled her closer until her head was on his shoulder and then he continued to hold her until it didn’t seem like she had any tears left.
And then he held her all night long while she slept.
“I really wish you’d reconsider.”
“This is for the best.”
“No,” he said firmly. “No it’s not. You leaving before Christmas is just wrong, Aspen. Stay. Please. We said we were going to have Christmas together.”
“We already did back at the B&B,” she reminded him as she continued to pack. Not that she was bringing much. After all, she was heading home to pack up the rest of her life. Even the few things she was packing seemed silly. “I’m flying standby so I need to get to the airport as early as possible. As it is, I’m getting a late start.”
“I told you, my alarm didn’t go off.”
She snorted with disbelief. “Convenient.”
“We talked about this yesterday,” he reminded her. And he was right, they had. After she had her breakdown in his bed, they had gotten up the next morning and it was like talking to a stranger.
At least to her.
Aspen decided to fly back to Atlanta before Christmas because she just couldn’t bear to be here with him. He swore it would all be fine and that there would be so many activities and parties that she really shouldn’t miss it. And when that didn’t work, he reminded her of her candy orders.
So she had spent the entire day after his reminder making every last order. It meant she didn’t sleep last night, but it didn’t matter. Everything was done and his mother was delivering it all for her. If she could just get to the airport, she’d feel a lot better.
“I should’ve just called an Uber.”
“I said I’d take you,” he said wearily. “I’m not happy about it, but you know I’m a man of my word.”
Another snort was out before she could stop it.
“Now what?”
She shrugged. “Nothing.” Her cellphone rang, saving her from having to continue this ridiculous conversation. When she saw Nikki’s name on the screen, she frowned. “Hello?”
“Hey, Aspen! This isn’t a bad time, is it?”
“Um…actually…”
“Listen, Jack Michaels from the bank said there are some forms you need to sign, and he needs them signed today to keep things on track for us.”
“Oh. Okay.”
“Then, if you have time, I finally got Ben Ryan–the contractor I was telling you about–to come by with the final estimate and some samples! I’m so excited to see them. He said we really need to make some decisions so things can get ordered before Christmas. So many places are closed from Christmas to New Year’s that he wants us to get t
hings moving sooner rather than later.”
Pinching the bridge of her nose, she said, “Okay. Sure. What time?”
“The bank opens at ten so if you are able to get there when it opens and take care of that, then you can come here and Ben’s going to be here at noon. Then we’ll celebrate and go to lunch!”
“I was actually hoping to get to the airport today…”
“Oh, that won’t happen,” Nikki told her. “By the time we’re done, it will be too late to go. Plus, there’s snow in the forecast so just don’t worry about travelling yet.” She paused. “Wait. I thought you were flying out the day after Christmas?”
“Yeah, um…slight change of plans.”
“Well, change them back. We’ve got too much to do, girl!”
“Nikki, I…”
“I need to go! I’ll see you here at the shop at noon! Bye!”
Putting the phone down, Aspen said, “That was odd.”
“Problem?”
Oh, right. Gabe was there.
“Um…no. Not really. It looks like I’m not going to the airport today, so…”
He only looked mildly surprised but didn’t say anything. “I guess we’ll try again tomorrow.”
And they did.
And the next day.
And the one after that.
It seemed like there was a lot more to this partnership and renovation than Aspen realized because it seemed like she was needed for something daily. It became obvious that the only time that was going to be convenient for her to head back to Atlanta was per her original plan. No one was going to be working the week between Christmas and New Year’s so…like it or not, she was spending her Christmas in Silver Bell Falls.
Fifteen
It was barely six in the morning on the coldest day of the year and as Aspen climbed into Gabe’s car, she saw him smiling.
Smiling!
Damn the man.
Actually, he’d been in a downright festive mood for days and it was annoying as hell.
Christmas Eve had been a real eye opener. The entire Andrews family just blew her away. Not only because they embraced her and treated her like family, but because they bought her more gifts than she’d ever gotten for Christmas. And as if that weren’t enough, they sang carols, drank eggnog, and it was seriously like stepping into one of the Christmas movies she knew Gabe liked to mock.
The Christmas Plan Page 19