Shadow

by Laurann Dohner

  “Hi.” She closed the book after carefully placing a bookmark inside. “You were gone for hours.”

  “I needed to think.”

  “Are you leaving? Will they send another officer here to guard me or will we just return to Homeland together?”

  “Do you want to return? Do you want another male here with you?” A protest froze on his tongue. He refused to force her to stay with him. He’d do whatever she wanted, even if it killed him.

  “No.” She leaned forward.

  “Good.” He stepped into the cabin, closed the door at his back and twisted the lock. “I enjoy being here with you.”

  Some of the tension left her delicate features. “Really?”

  “Yes.” He hated feeling as if he were a failure as a male. “I’m attracted to you, Beauty. What I feel is a bit fearsome.”

  Her lips parted. “You’re afraid of me?”

  “I’m not sure how to handle the emotions I feel when I’m around you. I’ve never experienced them before.”

  “Me neither.” She patted the couch next to her. “Will you sit?”

  He crossed the room and gingerly perched on the edge of the cushion about a foot away from her. The wonderful scent of her made his dick twitch. Why did he always feel sweaty, nervous and highly aroused when she was near? All his confidence fled.

  “What are you reading?”

  “A romance book.”

  He glanced at it, amused at the cover of a male and female locked in an embrace. “Are they interesting?”

  “Yes. I think so anyway.”

  “Is that all you read?”

  “No. I love horror novels too.”

  That surprised him. “You do?”

  “Yes. Especially the crime ones. Who-done-it types of books.” She paused. “I had access to children’s mystery books in the basement. I found a box of them stored in a corner behind some furniture. There were only fourteen of them but I knew them by heart from reading them so many times.” That was back when she’d been free to roam the entire basement. Later a room had been built to contain her to one area.

  “I’m glad you learned to read.”

  “Me too. One of the guards was nice to me when I was young. I think he pitied me. He had a daughter.”

  She wasn’t going to admit that Master had found out and fired the man. Mentioning Master always soured Shadow’s mood. That guard had been the one and only person who’d ever done anything for her without expecting something in return.

  “Do you read books?”

  “Sometimes. There were long stretches of downtime when I worked for the task force but then we’d have days where it seemed I barely closed my eyes before we were pulling out again.”

  “Was it exciting?”

  “Sometimes.”

  “Were you ever afraid?”

  “We raided buildings and homes looking for ex-Mercile employees. Sometimes they fired back. A lot of times they’d be long gone.”

  “It sounds frightening but I’m so grateful the task force exists. They found me.”

  “I know.” His hand gently took hers. “Are you still having nightmares about the task force member?”

  “No.” She smiled. “I haven’t. Not since I met you.”

  He pondered what that meant but it didn’t matter as long as she slept easier. “Are you hungry? I am.”

  “Yes.” She brightened even more. “I’ll make dinner. I know it is a little early but you skipped breakfast and were gone at lunch.”

  “I’ll help.”

  Shadow followed her into the kitchen, enjoying the view of her from behind. She had a round, full butt for someone her size and it fit a pair of jeans perfectly. The tank top hugged her waist. The scent of her shampoo and soap teased his senses.

  They worked together nicely as they prepared hot dogs and chips. It was an easy meal that didn’t require them to spend much time in the kitchen. Beauty carried her plate into the living room and patted the couch next to her.

  “Do you want to watch a movie while we eat?” She pointed to the wall where DVDs were lined up. “I saw some good action films we might enjoy.”

  “Sure.” He wanted to spend time with her.

  It was relaxing and a strange emotion rose in his chest at the domestic scene they painted. He glanced around the cabin, wondering what it would be like if they actually shared a real home. One that the two of them lived in together. Longing struck as his gaze returned to Beauty.

  She held up two movies for his inspection. “Which one? I really want to see both of these.”

  Beauty took his breath away. He had to suck in air to reply. “You pick. We could watch both of them.”

  Sheer joy lit up her expression. “Awesome!”

  Yes, this is, he agreed.

  * * * * *

  Beauty curled tighter against Shadow’s chest. His arm around her waist made her feel safer. They weren’t real but the bad guys in the movie were still scary. She fisted his shirt while staring at the television.

  “Do you think they’ll make it?”

  He nodded, his chin rubbing against the top of her head. “The good guys always win.”

  In movies. “I hope so. I hate that gangster guy. His second-in-command should have shot him.”

  Shadow chuckled. “Then the movie would have ended after ten minutes.”

  “True.” She rubbed her face against the soft material of his shirt. She loved being so close to him. All that reading hadn’t hinted that men didn’t mind women clinging to them during frightening scenes of a movie. “Oh no. Don’t they sense that jerk creeping up behind them?”

  “Humans don’t have our sense of smell.”

  “Oh.” She nodded. “Right. I just meant, you know, like feel the danger at their backs?”

  “It’s a movie.” He offered her the big bowl he held. “More popcorn?”

  “I think I’m ready to pop myself.”

  “This is our fourth bowl.” He leaned forward and placed it on the table.

  She wasn’t about to mention he’d eaten three of them. Shadow had a big appetite to go along with his big body. She adjusted away to allow him to place the bowl down and curled against him again when he straightened.

  The action in the movie got intense as it wrapped up. She noticed the way Shadow rubbed her leg with his now-free hand. It was nice and distracted her from the screen. Not that she minded.

  “See? He rescued the female and the bad guys are dead.”

  “It was good.”

  She hated seeing the credits roll. It was the last of the two movies and that meant they probably would go to bed. One glance at the clock confirmed it was after nine at night. Shadow liked to get up early, which meant he would be ready to sleep.

  It had almost been like a date, without the going-out part.

  “I’ll turn it off.”

  Beauty sat up and nodded. “Okay. I’ll clear the table and take everything into the kitchen.”

  They parted and she took her time rinsing their dishes. Nerves struck. She wanted to ask Shadow to share her bed but wasn’t sure he’d go for it. So far he’d refused. She didn’t want a repeat of the previous week. Being told no hurt.

  “Need help?”

  She started and gasped, swiveling her head. “I didn’t hear you enter the kitchen.”

  “Sorry.”

  “It’s okay. You move quietly for someone so big.”

  “The water was on.”

  She liked that he hadn’t mentioned her hearing wasn’t as good as his. “I was done.” She twisted the levers, shutting off the water. “I’m ready for bed.”

  “I made sure everything is secure.” He kept a few feet between them. “Ready?”

  “Yes.”

  He stayed close as they went upstairs and she paused by her door. The temptation to ask him to keep following her into her room was strong. She turned to peer up at him. Shadow stared back, silent and sexy.

  Be strong. Just ask. Her lips parted.

  “G
ood night.” He gave her a sharp nod before turning around and walking to his door. “Sleep well, Beauty.” He disappeared inside.

  “Damn,” she whispered, facing her open doorway.

  Shadow had not only gone into his room but he was now in the bathroom. She stared at the closed door that connected their rooms and wished he’d open it into her room. The light flicked off and she heard him return to his room. The door closing on his side was depressing.

  She used the bathroom, brushed her teeth and listened for any sound from Shadow’s room. The darkness under the bottom of the door implied he’d immediately gone to bed.

  Back inside her room, she shed her clothes and pulled on a nightgown. The sheets were cold when she lay down on the bed after turning off the light. She turned on her side and sighed. She wanted Shadow. Not just to curl up with in sleep—she wanted to touch him. Have him touch her back. The memories of her neighbors and their men kept flashing through her mind.

  It was frustrating wanting something when she couldn’t have it. Breeze’s advice also came to mind but she discarded it. She didn’t want Shadow to ever feel as though she’d pressured him into having sex and he might if she stripped naked and just entered his room. Would he even agree to it if she demanded sex?

  She shook her head. That definitely wasn’t how she wanted him. There was an awareness of her body that seemed unending. It was his fault. All those muscles and sexy sounds he made just made her think of sex with him. She wasn’t about to ever forget waking in that shed with his rigid cock nestled between her thighs.

  Something tickled her ankle and she shifted her leg. It stopped, probably the sheet lying on her wrong. Her mind wandered back to thoughts of Shadow and how to get him into her bed. The days were ticking down until they’d return to Homeland. Her idea that frolicking with him in the water wearing the tiny bathing suit Breeze had packed might tempt him into sex hadn’t been an option yet. He wasn’t about to let her near the river again until one of them could swim.

  Her eyes flew open as something tickled her foot again. Her heart jumped and her breath froze. Whatever it was moved again. She bolted upright and blindly reached for the light as she jerked her legs up to her chest. The lamp clicked on and she gripped the sheet, throwing it back.

  A black spider was all she saw before she reacted. The shriek tore from her before she could stop it and she rolled right off the bed. The spider seemed to follow as her horrified gaze tracked it on the edge of the mattress. A loud thump sounded somewhere in the cabin and a door slammed into a wall. Heavy footfalls fell as she scrambled to put distance between her and the bed.

  Her bedroom door flew open and Shadow stormed in. She turned her head, looking up at him. He wore nothing but a pair of boxers and a fierce look. “What is it?” His fingers were flexed into claws, his attention immediately fixing on the window. “Is someone outside?”

  “Um, it’s a spider.” Her hand shook when she lifted it to point.

  Shadow’s mouth fell open as he gawked at her.

  “Look at it. It’s big. It was on my foot.”

  “That tiny thing?” He crouched, staring at her instead of the intruder in her bed. “Did you fall out of bed?”

  “It’s a spider.” Why can’t he understand how scary they are? It touched me.

  He glanced at it, then her. “Hell.”

  He straightened, walked to the bed and picked up the spider. She cringed. The thing could bite. It might be small but anything with eight legs had to have sharp little fangs. It made sense to her. Maybe its little legs had clawed tips. Eight of them. I hate spiders. The creepy, ugly things.

  Shadow disappeared into the bathroom. She heard the water turn on. He returned and bent, his hands still damp as he lifted her from the floor. He tried to put her back on her bed but she clutched at his hot skin, shaking her head.

  “It could have family. Maybe a nest in my bed.”

  His eyebrows arched as he paused then turned and carried her into the hallway. He used his elbow to turn on the light before gently settling her on her feet. “Are you okay?”

  “It was in my bed. On my foot.”

  “Now it’s outside. I opened the window and put it out there. It won’t get back inside.”

  “Why were your hands wet?”

  “I washed them.” He gave her a concerned look. “I take it you’re terrified of spiders?”

  “Yes.”

  His lips twitched. “It was tiny, Beauty. Not even poisonous. I’m pretty sure about that. Hold on. I’ll go check your bed and your room.”

  She followed him just inside the room and watched as he shook out her sheets, bedspread, and even lifted the bed to peer under it. He swept the room, even opening drawers and pushing furniture around until he finally looked at her.

  “No nest and no family.” Amusement glinted in his eyes. “It was a hermit spider.”

  “That’s not funny.” She calmed though. “I’m sorry. I screamed, didn’t I?”

  “Yes.”

  “I really hate them.”

  “I realize that.”

  She backed out into the hallway and he followed.

  “Are you afraid to return to your room? Do you want me to check it again? We could change rooms. There’re no spiders in my bed.”

  Here was her chance. She could use fear again to talk him into allowing her to sleep with him but she still felt guilty about doing that in the shed. Honesty was best. It was the Species trait she admired most and Shadow deserved that from a woman.

  “I’m okay. I know you were thorough in your search and no more critters will bother me.”

  “Good.”

  It was impossible not to notice his chest. So broad, so bare and so close. The flat disks of his nipples were mesmerizing but not any more so than the way his stomach muscles tempted her to touch them, trace each one and keep going lower.

  “Beauty?”

  She realized she was staring at his boxers. Warmth heated her cheeks as she lifted her chin. “Sleep with me. Not because of the spider or because I just had a scare. I want you to hold me because I like it when you do.”

  He said nothing but he swallowed hard enough for her to see his Adam’s apple bob.

  She took a step closer, until they nearly touched. “Isn’t it time we got beyond our pasts? We’re two adults. I’m attracted to you. I think you’re attracted to me.” She glanced down and saw the way his boxers had filled out. The outline of his cock couldn’t be missed. “I know you’re attracted to me. Wasn’t holding me nice? I liked sleeping on you.”

  “We should talk,” he finally rasped.

  “About what?”

  “This.”

  Chapter Ten

  Shadow trembled, wanting Beauty so bad he froze up to prevent himself from following through on lifting her into his arms and carrying her to his bed. He wanted nothing more than to strip her out of that nightgown and explore every inch of her with his hands and mouth.

  “Slow,” he demanded.

  “I’m not doing anything.”

  He was without humor. “I’m talking to myself, aloud.”

  “You’re not doing anything. Why tell yourself that?”

  “It’s what I want to do.” He peered into her eyes, searching for fear, but found none. She was entirely too trusting. It made him feel guilty, as though he were the animal Mercile used to accuse him of being. “You should go to bed alone, Beauty.”

  “You slept with me before. I want you to hold me and we’ll keep talking.”

  He clenched his teeth to avoid snarling. She was either attempting to provoke him or was just too naïve to identify a male on the edge of losing control. He was aroused and she’d stated she was curious about sex. No way could he just lie next to her and sleep.

  “Come into my room.”

  Her voice was so soft, whispered, as if she were afraid. He didn’t see that emotion as he studied her. Her cheeks were a little pink though, hinting that she was embarrassed by her request. She was shy—had adm
itted to that already—a unique trait amongst Species.

  “I won’t just sleep with you.” He wanted to warn her. “I can’t. We should wait until tomorrow night if you just want to be held.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “Tonight I’ll touch you and do more.”

  Her pretty eyes widened slightly and more pinkness bloomed in her cheeks. “Come into my room.”

  It was an invitation and an acceptance of them sharing sex. He couldn’t deny the amount of pressure he suddenly found himself under. It would rest on his shoulders to teach her that males touching her could be a good experience. Male, he amended. One. Me. The concept of someone else putting their hands on her made him furious.

  “I trust you, Shadow.”

  The sincerity in her tone humbled him. He didn’t deserve it. She had no idea of the demons he battled. He would do anything for her, including taking things slowly to make sure he didn’t hurt her. She wasn’t human although she appeared more so than other Species females. Never had he imagined taking a Gift to bed before meeting Beauty.

  He took a deep breath and slowly rose to his feet. It just made him feel big and amplified their differences. She peered up at him nervously. He didn’t blame her, feeling the same. It had been a long time since he’d had a female. He’d avoided them because he’d been worried he’d fail to please them or his body would react negatively to the sight of them bare. Losing his erection during the sharing of sex would be humiliating but it happened sometimes when he remembered what had been done to him.

  “Let’s go to my room.” He wanted her in his bed.

  “Why yours and not mine?”

  He hesitated. “It’s a male thing.”

  “The women at the dorm always have men come to their rooms. I thought maybe it was a Species mating ritual.”

  He couldn’t help but laugh. She was so innocent and cute. “The females insist on using their rooms mostly to help them feel in control and males tend to get territorial when they take females into their homes.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “Females don’t want to give males the impression that we can keep them.”