by Jai T J
She looked for the restroom sign. She went toward the board depicting the universal symbol for female. Her arm was steady under the holder and the pain was tolerable. She turned left and slowly walked to the end. She noticed a dark stain on her skirt near both the knees. She reached the corner and turned right.
She saw the ladies room. She stopped when she saw a drunken man in a sluggish dress, pushing the restroom door halfway and peeking inside. There weren’t any other restrooms. She took a step back. She kept her eye on him as she walked backward away from the corner.
She sighed shaking her head. The pain reappeared in her head. She turned toward the nearest way to exit on her left. She grabbed the handrail and climbed on the escalator. It didn’t move. She exhaled and began climbing up.
She adjusted her hand from slipping out of the shirt. She reached half-way through and felt someone’s presence nearby. She heard the ruffing sound of cloth. She turned and looked down. It was the same guy.
She saw him striding toward her. Her heart began hammering and she started climbing faster. She looked back as she pulled herself up. Her mind threw all the pain behind and focused on escaping. She saw that guy climbing behind her. She pulled herself grabbing the handrail.
At last, she reached the last step and climbed onto it. The sensor near her feet turned on and the escalator began to move back, bringing her downwards. She realized it was the wrong one and began to climb faster. Her knees ached on every time she raised her leg. The escalator belt moved faster and brought her four steps below.
She stayed at the same height on every step she made. Her foot tripped on the edge and she fell forward. She used her only functioning hand to save herself. She dragged her hand and grabbed the moving rail. She began to pull herself up and sensed his presence nearby. Before she could stand up, she felt a sudden jerk in her head, and she was pulled back with greater force.
She fell back. Her left hand came out of the socket and smashed on her own weight. She screamed at the excruciating pain. He yanked her hair and dragged her down. She held her hair from inflicting more pain than she already in.
“HEEEELLLLP!!!.... AH SOMEONE HEEELLLP MEEEEEEE!!!” Her voice went from screaming to crying.
He stomped her mouth with his torn, dirty shoe and yanked her hair harder. Blood splattered out her mouth. She screamed loudly yet no one was there. Her lungs begged for oxygen. She inhaled with her shaking lips.
He pulled her off the escalator as they reached down. She used her leg to rise up despite the blinding pain in her arm and her head. He grabbed the shirt tied around her neck and pulled it along with her hair. The shirt choked her as she got dragged on the floor. She struggled to pull the shirt to breathe while her scalp was burning like million knives stabbing on her head and the pain grew to an intolerable level in her broken arm.
He dragged her like a sack of meat toward the same ladies room. He let his grip from the shirt and pulled her whole weight only with her hair. She inhaled deeply as soon as the shirt loosened.
“HEEELLLP!!!... ” She yelled sobbing over the pain.
“Shut up, you bitch” He grabbed the shirt around her neck and stuffed it inside her mouth.
She flipped over and tried to stand on her knees. He took the metal pipe lying near the wall and gave a tight hit on her back. She fell front yelping. He grabbed her one fine hand and twisted it almost to her nape. He pulled the shirt on her shoulder and inserted her hand into it. The sleeves came out of her mouth but the knot stayed in.
He pushed her skirt up and yanked her underwear down. She screamed this time for many different reasons yet not one got answered. The knot in her mouth filtered the noise level to the minimum, but she screamed and screamed and screamed again.
“You wanted this, didn’t you? If a girl comes at this hour, wearing this type of dress... You think I’m a fool to leave this opportunity” He pulled the loop of the shirt back, bringing her head up. The sleeve tightened around the corner of her mouth as he pulled harder. It made her impossible to scream or cry despite the pain. “You wanted someone tonight right. It’s going to be Me” and with that, the intrusion began.
He pushed his weight on her as he pulled the shirt bringing her head back almost to the breaking point. The pain was too much. She couldn’t bear any more. Every muscle in her body began to experience spasm. The unbearable pain occurred inside her every time he thrusted. She wanted it to stop. She wanted it to go away. She wanted to die.
He stopped and began cursing her in multiple local languages. He pulled and flipped her around. Her right hand was still behind her, tangled in the shirt and left hand resting with the pain. He kneeled and moved the skirt away. She tried to push him away with her broken arm, but she retracted when the pain peaked. She screamed when he grabbed her left arm and pushed her fingers into her mouth.
He did his work of horror again. For a moment, she blacked out. When the conscious came back, the pain began to appear from everywhere. He pushed her hand above her head and held it there, ignoring her cry.
“You like that?” He said biting her cheeks. “Huh, you like that? Tell me, you like that. Tell me”
She couldn’t hear anything. All she could see in her blinding pain and the blurry vision was the dancing Hindu deity pendant on his neck, swinging front and back in his movement. Her leg muscles began to shake out of control. She finally managed to pull out her right hand and pushed his thumb finger into his eye socket. He screamed as her nails carved the skin around his face. He protested and tried to push her hand. Her nails began to trail downward toward his cheek, peeling his skin all the way.
He tried to get hold of her hand when she tried to bring it again to his eyes. He pulled himself away and caught her hand. His chain came along with her hand when he pushed both her hand above her head. He lied on top of her, bringing his face very close to hers. She shut her eyes with the blinding pain and held her mouth tight while crying.
He licked her cheeks and began sucking on her closed eyes. Her pain screamed louder yet he continued his work. His movement became fast and rough as he reached above her eyes. The throbbing pain between her legs, from her broken arms, from her head, from her lips, from everywhere just gave her the real sense of hell.
The empty space echoed with her wail. Her screams were long but unanswered. Her pain didn’t sleep. Her wishes didn’t come true. He bit her forehead deeply as she continued her screaming prayer. He took a small chunk of her hair between his teeth and yanked it every time he immersed the horror. The pain got added on every time he pulled. Finally, with her glass-shattering scream, he ripped a chunk of hair from her forehead and dropped it into her face as he opened his mouth.
“STOP IT... STOP IT, stop it... Stop it, stop it... Oh, god... Just stop it, stop it” Devin yelled at her, hearing the shocking minute details from her.
“Please stop. Just stop” He held his head with both hands and began walking toward the pavement. He sat on the steps of the house next to him. He knew for the first time, what she said wasn’t a lie. It didn’t feel this much hurtful to him when he read it in the news. Reciting the fact was different but retelling such experience from the victim was more agonizing. He pushed his both eyes with his palm and began breathing heavily.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know it’s too painful to ‘hear’” She said in her usual sarcastic tone, pushing her hair away from the face.
The first drop of rain fell on his face as he looked up at her. She began unwrapping her burka.
“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry for what happened to you” He couldn’t stop thinking over the amount of horror she had been through. He tried to put himself in that situation, and he couldn’t even comprehend.
“Are you?” She said with a polite smile in her face. “Because most people at least have the courtesy to let me finish before they tell how boring it really was” She stood up and donned it like the long coat.
“You are right. I regret asking you to smile. I’m sorry you had to suffer those things
. I’m truly sorry for what happened to you in my house and about the last time”
“So what? You are Mr. Nice guy now? Your pity is the reason I’m living in this” She said adjusting her burka and pulled the collar together. He saw her rubbing the cloth from neck to her stomach, making the velcro on each side stick together. She left the bottom half open with the wide gown.
“Why are you keep saying that? What happened after that?”
“Are you sure you will be able to hear the remaining?”
“Is there any way you won’t do the details?”
Her face went back to the usual, straight, no-expression state. “After that party got over, My fa –“
“Don’t call that a party. I swear I’ll kill you”
“That’s right. If they deserve to be raped they should be deserving to be killed too. Anyway, when I woke up, It was ... I think it was on –”
“The thirteenth day” They both said at the same time.
She eyed him as the rain began to drizzle. She pulled up the hood and covered her head.
“First thing I asked was: where is my father?... he is dead” She asked the series of questions and replied herself with different tones.
“What happened?... Accident happened”
“What? Accident?... Train-Accident”
“That’s not possible... Yet it happened”
“What about him?... There was no him”
Her smile grew wider and wider as she pretended like the bipolar actor from the drama. He saw the pain in her voice as she tried to hide with her smile.
The rain started to get stronger. She stopped and began returning when her friend’s car beamed the light at her. She walked toward the car holding her gown with both hands. He came behind her dripping with raindrops.
He saw her, the dark silhouette walking toward the bright light. He felt the rage growing inside him over the painful moments which often questions the existence of God. Her face with a small, corner smile under the twinkling eyes came to his mind. He thought of his twin. He thought of his close friend. He thought of her paranormalistic sister. He thought over his little girlfriend. He saw the profound, sad theme running through all the damsels in his life.
He looked at the top window of his house. It was empty. He turned toward Mara’s house. It was quiet and dark. He never felt this much hatred for being born as a man. The rain running over his face camouflaged the tears welled up in his eyes.
When she was getting into the car, he saw her burka covering the whole dress except the bottom making it similar to the white skirt from his dream. When she wiped the fog off the windshield he thought she was waving at him, and so he waved back at her. She just stared back at him with her stark black eyes. He expected her strange ‘goodbye’ but she didn’t.
He watched the car making U-turn around him and going far and far away from him. The red light grew smaller and smaller and finally turned around the corner and vanished. He wanted to run behind it. He wanted to see more of her. He felt a little glimpse of fear for letting her go in the night. He stood there drenching in the rain, staring at nothing.
Mia slowed down the car and stopped in front of the gate. Yuleika unbuckled herself and picked up her burka.
“Are you alright?” Mia asked looking at her face.
She nodded slowly. “I’m getting used to it”
“Do you want me to stay tonight?”
She shook her head. “Do you think I’m becoming darker?”
“What?”
“I’m talking about that dream. Do you think I am destroying the world around me? Do you think I should just... let it go?”
“If I were you, I would destroy this whole world just to get him. Killing him would be the last thing I will be doing. I would make him die every day, every minute. I would... I would show him the living hell on earth”
“I felt the same thing and I still am finding new ways to torture him. But part of me wonders what is the point? Will I be happy after that? I can never take it away what he did to me. I cannot erase it”
“It’s not about happiness. It’s about creating balance in this universe. I had abandoned my belief in karma after what happened to you. You know everything in this world can be justified. Even murder, suicide, mercy-killing can be accepted as a right choice of action in some rare situations. But what happened to you can never be proved as a right thing under any circumstances”
She nodded quietly.
“Should I stay tonight?”
“No, It’s OK. I’m fine”
“Promise me, you won’t do anything stupid tonight”
She smiled as she unlocked the door. “I won’t. I promise”. She held her gown on one hand as her feet touched the wet ground. She walked toward her house as the gate behind her began to slide in.
The warm, golden lights inside the house gleamed like a Christmas through the wide windows. She went to the left and walked through the sideway entrance toward the pool. The lights underneath turned on, showcasing the blue bed of water as she approached. She dropped the burka and the shoes to her side and stood at the edge of the pool in her gown.
She looked at her bedroom balcony. It was dark except the white curtain on the window waving outward. The moon above was brighter and in an almost full circle. She turned down, gazing at herself in the reflection of the glooming water.
A laughter sound intruded her mind. Initially, it wasn’t strong but it became intense soon. Another noise came and overlapped it. It was cursing and shaming. Different aggressive notes of various levels of profanities aimed at her. She wanted to close her ears and get rid of it. She stood still looking at the bride in the reflection.
Along with the noise, her mind played a series of random visions in a haphazard manner. She was looking at herself, yet she was able to feel herself in the visions too. The vision was glitchy and scattered like the interferences from a poor cable connection
She was walking inside the subway tunnel, holding a red colored handbag in her hand. The fluorescent light above her kept blinking as she walked next to the wall filled with Grey, murky tiles. The scene changed and now she was waiting at the bus stop, looking at her phone. A guy behind her was pulling down the shutter of his store, locked it and began walking down the road. Again the vision changed and now she was walking along the pavement, under the sodium street lamp as the dogs howled behind at the end of the street.
In the subway - Three guys wearing hoodies were following her in the tunnel. She searched for the phone inside her handbag. When she looked at them, the flickering lights and the shaded parka made it harder to see their face.
At the bus stop - A bike passed the bus stop as she looked at the tiny red spot moving in the map on her phone. The sound of the bike went down for a moment and throttled unevenly. She looked at the direction it went and saw the bike turning around and coming toward her.
On the Street - The dog stopped howling and began to bark. She turned back and saw a man in a formal office dress walking behind. The dog followed him as it continued barking at him. He looked like a typical office going guy, but she felt something strange about the dog’s alarm.
In the subway - She took the right in the tunnel and walked faster. She looked behind and saw them following her way. She took left and followed the arrow on the exit boards. She finally reached the end and turned right. There was a huge shutter blocking the stairs to outside. She looked at the other side and it was an enclosed wall. There was no other way to escape. She peeked at the path she came through and those three guys were already on their way. She was at a dead end and the only way to go is to face those guys and cross them.
At the bus stop - The bike came near to the bus stop. She saw the two guys in the bike. First one’s face was safely hidden within the helmet and the second guy came climbing down. He approached her like the king of jungle cautiously approaching its food.
On the street - The sound of the dog gained as she strode forward. Suddenly, the lights along the street
went dark and the whole street lost its power. She paused for a second, blinded by the surrounding darkness. She looked back and saw the dark figure with the help of street light at the end of the street. It was very near to her and barking noise stopped with a sharp, quick moan.
The vision shuffled rapidly and in all of them, she was approached by the men. The scene changed over and again, and she felt the claustrophobic by the surrounding of predators.
She saw a tiny illumination in the darkness. She caught a tiny, burning candle, near the tunnel gate - next to the bus stop seat - and in her hand. Everything around grew darker and this was the single source of truth. She reached for it and brought close to her. It was a hard choice. She saw them approaching toward the light. She could stay in the light and suffer her life, or she could blow it away and dwell in the lie.