He grabs my hair, twisting it into a bun with his fist as he plows inside endlessly. The longer he goes on, the more I’m losing my grip on reality. All I can feel is his length buried inside me while my face is squished against the wall, my hungry pussy begging for more.
How could I have fallen so fast, so deeply?
How could I love this as much as I do?
Logic fails me as he wraps his arms around me, greedily grasping my breast with one hand while the other clutches my waist. He continues to pound me harder and harder until our breaths and sweat mingle, and the line between right and wrong is blurred. If this is punishment, then I don’t even know if I wanna be good anymore. It’s sinful and divine all at the same time, and my mind is spinning as he turns my head and smashes his lips on mine.
The kiss is heady, needy, as though he’s been holding back all this time, and it ends just as roughly, as though he has to tear himself away with a roar.
Right then, he buries himself inside, and his warm seed fills me to the brim. I gasp as he presses another delectable kiss against my neck, his teeth sinking gently into my flesh as he falls apart. Even though it’s mere seconds, it feels like time is standing still as his arms are still wrapped around me in an almost sweet embrace.
I could almost, almost forget about the fact he robbed me of my freedom.
We’re both panting when he pulls out of me, and I hate that it leaves me feeling barren. He gazes at me, the look in his eyes changing from pure lust to unfettered indignation, which makes my lips part in confusion.
He spins me on my heels and takes off the nipple clamps, tucking them back into his pocket without even looking at me while I try not to hiss from the burning pain. He zips up again and adjusts his clothing while his back is turned to me. I pat down my dress as I fight the flush spreading to my cheeks. After all this sexual frustration finally boiled over in both of us, I didn’t expect him to finish like … that. It’s almost as if he regrets it.
But that doesn’t make sense. This is what he wanted … right?
He wanted to punish me with whatever means necessary, including sex.
Unless this was supposed to get me to talk.
“This isn’t going to work,” he says.
“What do you mean?” I ask.
He straightens his cuffs, his back still turned to me. “You enjoyed that, didn’t you?”
Now I truly can’t stop the red-hot flash from spreading across my cheeks. “I … I …”
“You don’t have to say it. I know the truth,” he adds.
I look away, embarrassed by my own desires.
“Don’t,” he says, glancing at me over his shoulder. “Do not feel pity for yourself.”
“I don’t,” I say, tucking my hair behind my ear. “But you did all of this to punish me, didn’t you?”
He turns away again and sighs out loud.
“And it didn’t work,” I add.
He suddenly marches for the door, so I say, “Wait!”
His hand still lingers over the doorknob.
Even though I hate what he’s done to me, how he’s made me yield to lust, I can’t fathom being alone again in this claustrophobic room. “Please … don’t leave me alone in here. I’m begging you.”
He opens the door again but falters halfway, his fingers digging into the wood of the doorjamb. “I cannot give you what you need.”
“I won’t ask you to free me,” I say.
“Then what do you want?” he says, licking his lips as he throws me a look.
I swallow. “Please, let me see Anna.”
He frowns. “You care so much about a woman you barely know?”
I nod.
His brows furrow, and he looks away for a split second. “Tonight.”
And then he waltzes out and closes the door behind him, leaving me to the merciless onslaught of my own devilish desires for a man I shouldn’t ever have let in.
Chapter 29
Eli
I blow out a few breaths and pace the hallway for a moment, contemplating whether I should put my fist into the wall, but I know that won’t do me any good. But so much emotion is swirling through me right now that I can barely control it, and it’s eating me alive.
Never was keeping a girl from escaping so difficult.
But more importantly … neither was making her submit and confess.
I guess that’s what you get for picking her yourself, for wanting more than you can bargain for. But I needed to have her. I chose her so I made myself a promise that I’d watch her until she’d sin, and then I’d swoop in to take her.
If only I’d known that not just my own lust would get in the way but that my own heart would be at stake too. That this obsession of mine would turn into something more than a carnal need for justice. I crave to punish her more than any other, and it’s making me feel things that I never thought I’d feel.
When I took over this House, I vowed to keep enforcing the rules and follow them no matter the cost, but my own desires have gotten in the way of that. And now I actually gave in to them.
I slam the walls with my flat hands, the pain a small reminder that everyone sins, even me.
I have sinned so badly that I can’t even think straight.
The only thing coursing through my mind right now is the unbearable need for more of those delicious lips as I kiss my way through the night while I bury my cock deep inside her. I want to hear her moan, listen to her beg, see her unravel in front of me.
Not just for punishment. Not just to make her confess.
I want to do it because I can.
Because I want to take her, use her, fuck her, own her.
I want it all, and I could take it all as it’s within a fingertip’s reach.
But … that’s not why I brought her here. It’s not right. Men like us aren’t supposed to crave or enjoy the lust of life. Men like us aren’t supposed to live.
We were made to punish the weak and make them confess. To fight for justice as we were taught.
But the more time I spend with her, the more I’m beginning to realize that’s just not enough for me.
I lean my head against the wall and close my eyes for a second, trying to center myself.
Clearly, harshly fucking her didn’t work. It didn’t bring out any of her pain, didn’t make her remember, which means only one option is left.
Going deeper … and darker … until there is no way back.
Because she must face her demons, and I must face mine.
After taking a few more breaths, I march right into the recovery room downstairs. Only two beds are taken this time, one by the guard Amelia injured and the other by Anna.
And next to her bed is Tobias, sitting in a chair while he holds her hand.
When he looks up at me, the unbridled anger I see in his eyes would ward off any man. Except me, of course. I know better than to fear a fellow brother in this House.
“How is she?” I ask, closing the door behind me.
“The same,” he replies, his grip on her hand tightening as he focuses on her eyes. “What are you doing here?”
I sigh. “Looks to me like I’m not the only one who has stepped over the rules.”
He throws me another enraged look. “I don’t need you to check up on me.”
“I’m not,” I say, holding up my hands. “I’m just saying …”
“Keep your comments to yourself,” Tobias replies, focusing on Anna again. “You’re the reason this even happened in the first place.”
I grab a chair and sit down opposite of him, watching as he caresses her cheeks.
“She didn’t deserve that pain,” he says.
“She took her punishment into her own hands,” I say.
“Your girl did,” he barks back. “It’s her fault Anna is in this shape.”
“She escaped,” I reply. “I took every precaution.”
“It was not enough!” he spits, his hands shaking as the tip of his finger touches her lip. “Yo
u should’ve never brought her here.”
My nostrils flare as I try to stay calm. “I already told you why I did it. But I think you understand now.” I look at Anna and how she’s lying there so at peace even though her mind must be in turmoil right now. She looks like an angel washed up ashore, desperate to cleanse herself of her sins. I can see why he fell for her.
“Don’t,” Tobias growls. “We’re both in the wrong here.”
“And neither of us intends to stop,” I reply.
He’s quiet for a second while gazing woefully at Anna.
The beeping of the machines goes on and on, silencing the storm raging in my heart.
Could I have done something to stop Amelia from escaping and taking Anna with her? If I had told her what Anna had done, how she was feeling about her own sins, would it have made a difference?
None of it matters. Nothing can change the past. What’s done is done. Anna is here now, and all we can do is wait until she gets better.
“Tell me why you’re here,” Tobias asks. “And don’t give me lies.”
I laugh a little. “I wouldn’t dare.” I lick my lips. “In fact, I indulged myself in one too many.”
“Oh, yeah?” He raises a brow. “You? Lying to yourself?”
I shrug and look away. It takes me a while to speak. “I … kissed her again.”
When I finally gather the courage to look at him, he’s staring right back at me for God only knows how long. “It’s only going to get worse, isn’t it?”
I roll my eyes and snort. “It’s the only way to get through to her.”
“You tell yourself that,” he says.
“And you keep telling yourself that you don’t do the same thing,” I spit back. I clear my throat to ease the tension in the room. “She’s close. I can feel it. I just need to push her a little further.”
“And?” He raises a brow. “You wanna ask me something?”
“She wants to see Anna.”
He scoots his chair back and immediately gets up to point at me. “No. No way am I allowing that girl close. It’s because of her Anna almost died!”
“Anna almost killed herself,” I say. “Amelia didn’t know she was going to do that. Even though they have been talking.”
He makes a face. “How?”
“Through a vent in the room.” I wave it off like it’s no big deal. “I’ll get it fixed.”
He runs his fingers through his hair. “I can’t believe this.”
“It explains why Amelia chose to take Anna along with her,” I say.
“How did they even do it?” he asks.
“I don’t know. She won’t say, but I’ll find out sooner or later,” I reply. “But if we want these antics to stop, we need to ensure she confesses. And for that, I need her to confront her own guilt.”
“You mean, confront Anna,” he says.
“It might help her,” I say.
Tobias sighs out loud and sits back down again to grab her hand and softly caress it.
“I promise you, she will be safe,” I add.
He looks up at me. “I want to be there.”
“Deal,” I reply. “As long as she gets to have her moment.”
“I don’t want any of that escaping nonsense happening again. Not under my watch,” he says. “Anna was already done here. Her confession was completed. And Amelia ruined everything.”
“I know, and nothing about that has changed. Once she’s healed enough—”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” he interjects, his voice stern. “Just go. Do whatever you want. Leave me.”
I nod. When he doesn’t say another word, I turn around and walk off. As I open the door, he suddenly speaks up again. “They’ll be our end. Won’t they?”
I pause, contemplating my answer, but I realize there is none. None that would fix this impossible problem we’ve created. “She’ll be here tonight.”
Amelia
Nothing compares to seeing someone you care about lying motionless in a hospital bed. Wires and tubes come from Anna’s body, her pale face in stark contrast to the beautiful shine I saw mere hours ago when we both ran for our lives.
My heart is going a hundred miles an hour in my chest. At least, that’s what it feels like when I look at her as she lies there lifelessly and still like a doll wrapped in a thin sheet. Tobias sits beside her, guarding her with a watchful gaze as I enter the room.
I dare not make a sound, afraid he might jump me if I do.
But Eli said I could see her. Mary personally came to get me and escorted me here, so Tobias must have known I was coming. But I still don’t feel welcome.
I swallow as the door softly closes behind me, and I step closer from the shadows. The beeping of the machines feels like a reminder to breathe, each breath heavier than the one before as I get closer to the girl who’s supposed to be Anna.
What happened to her?
I sit down on the empty chair opposite Tobias and stare at her, wondering if she has any life in her left. If she got what she wanted after all.
“How is she?” I ask.
“Not well,” Tobias replies with a stoic voice, but the underlying hurt doesn’t escape me. He looks up at me, tears forming in his eyes, but he blinks them away quickly. “Severe pneumonia.”
I frown and look down at her, unable to stop myself from grabbing her hand. But she’s icy cold. “Will she make it?”
“I don’t know.” He slams his lips shut and looks at her with so much love and adoration that I freeze up. I’ve never seen a man look at a woman like that, not unless … they were in love.
But that can’t be right. She’s his captive, and he’s the bad guy. She couldn’t have liked him, right?
But what if she did, and I’m the one who convinced her not to?
A painful pang hits me right in the gut as I curl up and make myself tiny. Guilt is like a parasite, eating you up from the inside out, and it’s gotten in my stomach.
I look away before it gets to be too much.
Maybe I was wrong. Maybe she didn’t want to leave. Maybe … she just wanted to be understood.
He squeezes her hand so gently that I feel like I’m intruding on a personal moment. Warmth oozes from his body as he leans over and slides a few strands of hair from her forehead.
How could these men be so cruel yet so kind at the same time?
I don’t understand any of this, and it’s driving me insane because I’m starting to question who is actually the bad guy here. Is it them … or is it me?
Anna’s in this bed because of me. She escaped thanks to me, and then she sought to end it all. If I’d known, I would’ve never taken her along. But I didn’t ask. I was too focused on my own problems that I couldn’t see clearly. I was selfish.
“I’m sorry,” I say, swallowing back the tears when he looks up into my eyes with the most solemn look I’ve ever seen.
“Okay,” he replies.
“Okay?” I repeat.
“What do you want?” he asks.
“I … I …” I mutter. “I don’t know.”
“Sorry doesn’t fix this,” he says.
“I know,” I reply, shaking my head. “But I just wanted her to know I didn’t do it on purpose. I just—”
“You just wanted to escape. And you brought her with you … so she could die,” he says.
“No,” I say, licking my lips as a tear rolls down my cheeks. “I didn’t know this was going to happen.”
“But it did,” he barks.
He’s not giving me an ounce of forgiveness. Not even one single iota. And it hurts.
I lower my head between my shoulders. “If I could trade places with her, I would.”
“No, you wouldn’t,” he says. “And I don’t want you to.” He caresses her again. “She deserves better than that.”
I nod a few times, sinking away into the silence. “She did …”
He glances up at me with a serious look on his face. “She will get better.”
&nb
sp; I hope he’s right. I pray she does. Because if not, her death will shatter my already brittle soul.
“You might think what we do here is wrong. That it’s heinous. Criminal,” he says. “But some people need this. Some people … heal from this.”
Maybe he’s right. Maybe some people really do need this. I just could not understand because I didn’t know what it was like living with the guilt. But now I do.
If Anna really did get her parents murdered … she must’ve been living with so much guilt.
Even if she wouldn’t admit it to herself, no one can do something so terrible without snapping their own heart in two.
I wonder if she would have gone through with it if she knew what it really meant.
If she knew how much hurt it would cause, even to herself.
Maybe she realized, in the end, it wasn’t worth it. That her boyfriend convinced her to do something she really didn’t want to do. And then she stopped wanting to live.
I sigh to myself.
Poor Anna. If I could take away the pain, I would.
“If I had known what she … did … I wouldn’t have taken her with me,” I say.
“Because having your parents killed is terrible and inhumane?”
Well, that’s bold. I didn’t want to say it like that, but I guess he’s right.
I suck in a breath. “Because she needed to face what she did. And I stopped her from doing that.”
He gazes at me for a moment, the look in his eyes sincerely surprised. Then he nods. “What we do here is necessary.”
“I understand now,” I reply.
“Do you?” he reiterates, lowering his head.
“I …” I don’t know what he wants me to say.
That I was wrong?
That I just didn’t know that we truly deserved all of this?
“So you believe us now when we say you are here for a reason?” he asks.
I take in another deep breath and look at Anna for a second. She knew. She knew deep inside her heart, yet I managed to convince her otherwise.
“I just wish I knew why,” I say. “Anna knew.”
“If you’re truly ready, you will know what to do,” he says.
My lips part, but I don’t know what to say.
Tobias looks down at Anna again and cocks his head tenderly. “She was ready.”
Dark Wish (A Dark Romance) Page 20