by Maya Daniels
Soren is playing with all of us like we are mice in a cage built for his entertainment.
It needs to stop.
“Let him go.” Repeating my request, I reach a hand toward Tenebris, who is giving me a narrowed look from one eye, his jaw still around the Fae. “He is a jerk, and insufferable, but not the enemy. We do need his help.”
If a panther can look doubtful, that’s the expression on Tenebris’s face right now. He snarls once more at Soren before pushing off him none too gently. Zoltan snorts, covering it with a cough when the shifter hisses at him. Felines, big or small, really are very temperamental. Prowling like the predator that he is, the panther comes to my side, killing his tough vibe by starting to purr the second my fingers start scratching behind his ears.
Zoltan throws his head back and laughs.
Even Soren chuckles, shaking his head.
I find no humor in any of it.
“Let’s talk, Soren.” With another sigh, I curl my legs under me, Tenebris jumping on the bed and cuddling at my side with one eye open so he can watch the Fae. “I need to explain a few things to you so we can put this whole “continuing the line” bullshit to rest once and for all.”
Chapter Thirteen
“I’m not sure how long you’ve been sleeping and ignoring the world around you.” The blank look on his face drowns me in sadness and guilt, but I push on, determined to get to the bottom of this. “Half bloods have always been an abomination meant to get rid of, and they never stay alive long enough for anyone to see if they could be more. Some are in hiding like I was, but even then, one thing has been a constant throughout our history.” Raising a hand, I stop whatever Zoltan is about to say. “Zoltan, I’ve come to terms with it more or less. No need for reassurances. The point I’m trying to make here for Soren is this: there has never been an offspring from a half blood. The Fates didn’t find us worthy of continuing our lines, dragon bloods or not.”
The silence that follows my words—words I’ve pushed so deep to the back of my mind I never thought I’d think them little less say them out loud—is oppressing. Avoiding looking at the two males because I don’t want to see their pity, which will be worse than anything else they can offer at the moment, I stare unseeing through the window, the darkness outside matching my mood. My fingers trailing over the smooth soft fur down Tenebris’s neck and spine, I sigh.
“There’s one other thing I learned growing up too. We can’t form bonds or find a true mate.”
Zoltan clears his throat.
“The connection between us is strong.” Offering him a small smile to take away the sting of my words, I drop my gaze to my lap. “More than I ever wished or dreamed of for sure. A true-mate bond though … well, it’s not. I’ve accepted it, and I’m grateful for it, though I can’t help but wonder if this is not some bond forged from oaths or what have you.” Peeking at Soren through my lashes, I’m too afraid to ask. But I do it anyway. “It’s not, right? This thing between us”—Flicking a hand between Zoltan and me, I see the vampire scowl from the corner of my eye—“isn’t one of your parlor tricks like with Fenrir, is it?”
“I did not have anything to do with your bond, if that is what you are asking.” The ancient Fae leans back on the wall behind him, tucking his hands in the pockets of the tactical pants he found to replace his silky ones, oblivious to the glistening drool Tenebris left on his neck and chest. “However, I cannot say I agree with the rest of your facts.”
“I’m not sure how to break it to you, old man, but just because you don’t want to hear it doesn’t mean it’s not the truth. Even if I agreed to that insane idea to make babies with Fenrir…” At Zoltan’s deep, menacing snarl, I can’t help but snicker—“It’s just an if scenario to humor Soren, so calm your tits. Anyway, if that was an option, I’m telling you that you’d have been sorely disappointed.”
“Shall I be the one to tell her?” Soren’s tone jerks my head up and I narrow my eyes at his contemplative face. “Or will you do the honors, Zoltan?”
“What are you talking about?” Apprehension causes bile to burn the back of my throat.
Zoltan stills where he is standing, a muscle jumping on one side of his jaw while he glares at Soren. My head swivels from one to the other, getting confused by the vampire’s building anger and the smile growing on Soren’s face.
“What?” Snapping at both of them, I make Tenebris hiss in frustration.
“What do you know about mates, young dragon?” Basking in the attention he craves like an addict craving a drug of choice, the Fae looks as happy as a pig in mud. “I’m sure your mother has told you tales. Let us hear them.”
“That you recognize them the second you lay eyes on them, and it’s a connection so strong neither can resist it. It’s a perfect match the Fates create, and they don’t leave it to chance. The bond snaps into place and will keep the two together for eternity.”
“Indeed.” Soren looks pointedly from me to Zoltan. I ignore the wild beating of my heart and the numbness that starts spreading from the tips of my fingers up my arms. “What else?”
“There was no bond snapping in place between the two of us.” Even I can hear the conviction lacking in my words.
“Let us not think on that now. What else?” If Soren keeps smiling that wide, I honestly think his face will split in half.
“After the bond forms they will do anything to stay close to each other until they seal it—”
“How?” the Fae cuts me off, which earns him a glare. “Seal it how?”
“Exchange of blood, physical connection …” my words trail off and I stare at Zoltan’s profile. He won’t look at me. “We didn’t exchange blood for the longest time.”
The expression on Soren’s face calls me an idiot.
I am an idiot.
“I can’t form a true-mate bond.” Reverting to my old argument, I lift my chin stubbornly.
“Do you know anything else about mates?” Ignoring my comment, Soren is practically vibrating from happiness. The asshole loves being one step ahead of me at all times.
“No.” Tired of the bullshit, I give up on playing this stupid game. “Why don’t you enlighten me, oh wise one.”
“I thought you’d never ask.” I regret my last words when he shoves off the wall, waving his hands excitedly while he talks.
Zoltan hasn’t moved a muscle.
“What you said is true, and yet not enough. You see, young dragon, when two mates meet, the instinct to show they are capable of protecting each other comes full force. All oaths and honor bound promises are forgotten.”
“Tell that to Fenrir,” I point out, but he dismisses my smartass remark with a flick of his wrist. A memory of Zoltan picking me up when I came to this damn place and the portal was attacked silences whatever else I am going to say.
“He fought it, so I must give him respect for that, but it’s a fight that no one can win.” Ignorant to my stunned expression, the gloating slips from Soren’s face and his forehead wrinkles slightly in a frown that doesn’t last long. “Many have fought the bond, but all lose the battle. In those cases, the mates still try to give or take blood.”
My eyes dart to Zoltan, remembering the evening when he offered his wrist to me, which ensured I I never looked at that window on the third floor the same way. Butterflies erupt in my stomach to this day when I pass by it. I eagerly took his offer, not even resisting much. I’m well aware of how selfish vampires are with their blood because I’m the same way myself when it comes to it, but he had a good argument. He was only trying to help, nothing else. If I say it a couple more times maybe I’ll start believing it.
“Wherever you see one, the other is never too far away. And when one is in danger, the other will go to great lengths to keep them safe. Logic does not prevail in that. They also show their true forms to each other.”
Soren stops pacing and turns to Zoltan folding his arms across his chest. The vampire might as well not be here because he hasn’t blinked from th
e moment this conversation started. The fact that I didn’t think twice in our attempt to go through the hunters and get to the portal before allowing my dragon blood to take over around Zoltan is like one more nail in my pounding head.
“How long has it been since you’ve been in your true form, Zoltan? Before the battle for taking over the Order, I should say.” Soren sounds too innocent to pull off being curious.
Zoltan says nothing.
Dread pools in my stomach.
“I believed you locked your true form, just as you gave up your mate bond when you took an oath to protect our world, as well as the human’s.” With an ambiguous shrug, the Fae pretends like what he just said is not a big deal. “So, knowing all this leads us to the important issue we are facing.”
I don’t want to hear the important issue.
I don’t even want to know there is anything to deal with other than the hunters we are facing.
Those I can fight and kill.
“I was wrong.” Hearing those words coming out of Soren’s mouth silences everything else churning in my head.
“I’m sorry, what?” I meant it as a question, but it came out in a shout.
“I know it should not have happened.” Slicing a hand through the air, the Fae looks stunned. “I have not been mistaken on anything, but you, young dragon, are defying the laws of nature and the rules of the Fates. Which leads me to the second most important fact.”
Don’t say it! My mind is screaming but nothing passes my numb lips. I’m not sure I’m even breathing, the room around me swaying like I’m sitting on a boat as I hear Soren’s voice coming from a great distance away.
“You can continue your bloodline. Of this I am certain.” To make matters worse, he turns to Zoltan proudly and doesn’t stop talking. “But you knew that, Blood King. Am I correct on that, too?”
The world around me stops.
The time since I’ve known Zoltan plays in fast forward at the front of my mind like a movie. The bond we have and how it came to be. Every time I turn around seeing him just a few feet away, following behind like a shadow no matter how pissed I was at him. Slinking around the building searching for him and hoping he would not notice. How much I fought my attraction to him, yet like moth to a flame I couldn’t stay away. And the worst of all, the fact that, at the moment, he is blocking the bond so I can’t tell what he is feeling.
Slowly I push off the bed and jump to my feet. With measured steps, I tiptoe around pieces of the broken door and exit the room without either one of them trying to stop me. At the threshold I halt, not turning around. I’m not sure I want to see the look on Zoltan’s face right now.
“Did you know all this time?” I don’t have to tell them who I’m asking even with my voice coming out barely above whisper.
“Only a blind fool wouldn’t know,” the Fae chirps without being asked to make a comment.
The silence following Soren’s words lasts too long.
“Yes,” Zoltan answers after an eternity just as softly.
My braid slaps my back and shoulders as I run through the hallways. Tears prickle my eyes, but I don’t let them fall. They are out of anger and betrayal more than anything else. At least that’s what I tell myself. People I pass act alert as if expecting another attack, but I just don’t have it in me to tell them it’s an attack on my sanity and heart. A foe I can’t fight no matter how much I want to.
So, I run.
Maybe trying to escape myself.
Passing the large double doors of the entrance, I jump over the few steps to the ground, my bare feet scraping over the pebbles. It stings but I barely notice it. Without turning I know Tenebris is behind me, wisely keeping his distance but not letting me out of his sight. The shifter can’t even talk, so I shouldn’t be angry at him. The problem is that I’m angry at everything and everyone right now. With no destination in mind, my feet pound on the ground, my arms pumping until a stitch develops in my side. I stop in the middle of the woods, dropping on my knees and gasping for air.
That’s when I allow the tears to fall.
Hands pressed on my thighs, my body rocks from the gut-wrenching sobs that are ripped from my chest. Bending forward, I press my forehead to the ground and let everything I’ve bottled inside come out in ugly, loud cries, not caring if anyone can hear me. Tenebris’s presence taunts me from between the trees, but he stays hidden to give me space. What feels like a lifetime later, when my eyes are dry, I roll limply on my side and stretch on the forest floor staring numbly at the sky.
“Did it make you feel better?” Astara’s voice reaches my ears, but I don’t have the strength to turn my head and look at her. I didn’t even feel someone else coming near.
“No.”
“I didn’t think so.” Rocks crunch under her feet as she approaches me, plopping down on the ground next to my head. “I tried it too the other day. It just gave me a headache.” With a sigh, she lays down mimicking me, her arm brushing mine as she settles.
“Zoltan knew we had a true-mate bond.” My voice cracks and I clear my throat, which feels raw from crying so long. “Did you?”
“I hoped it was.” The words come out soft, and I can see her turning her head to look at the side of my face. “I’ve never seen my brother bat an eye about a female until you came along. Knowing he had to sacrifice it for the oath made me see it as wishful thinking.”
“You heard the conversation?” How else would she know what I’m talking about?
“I was coming to check on you.” Turning her gaze back to the treetops and the sky, she giggles nervously. “I tried to walk away when I heard what you were talking about, but I couldn’t get my feet to move. You could say I eavesdropped.” Bumping her elbow on mine, this time she does snicker with humor. “What are friends for if not to hear things you don’t want them to so they can make fun of you later?”
“There is nothing funny about this, Astara.” Tenebris must’ve decided it was safe to come out because he lays down on my other side, pretending not to look at me.
“Would it be so bad?” Her question is tentative and barely audible.
“Would what be bad?”
“To have a youngling.” Bile like acid burns the roof of my mouth from her question.
“Do you listen to yourself? Have you looked around the world we live in? The lives we have?” Finally I face her, but she doesn’t look away. Her gaze so much like Zoltan’s stays steady on mine. “We have hunters trying to kill us on a daily basis. Roberti doing his damn best to unleash Titans on all of us, traitors plotting our demise. And you ask me if it’d be so bad?”
She holds my gaze without saying a word for a long moment, while I do my best to control my breathing and stop my heart from punching a hole in my ribs. Tenebris wiggles closer, but not even the heat of his body can warm the ice curdling the blood in my veins. My brother’s body chained to the metal bed pops in my head, which brings back the dread I felt finding him like that in Roberti’s compound before I killed him with my own hand.
“Roberti is experimenting on half bloods, Astara. Can you even imagine what would happen if he got his hands on an offspring from me and Zoltan?”
The words are not fully out of my mouth before both of us bolt upright, startling the shifter. He hisses angrily, but we ignore him.
“Oh, dear Fates.” All the blood drains from my head, which makes me dizzy.
“You think he knew? That’s why he started experimenting?” Astara looks like she’s about to puke.
“It’s too much of a coincidence if he started after I found out about his betrayal.” Another thought comes to mind and it makes me seethe with rage. “He might’ve known it was possible before that, too. His lap dog Aiden, my partner, was pissed that I wasn’t interested in jumping his bones while we were working together. Roberti even encouraged it with inconspicuous comments here and there.”
“That’s why the hunters are doing their best to hurt you but not kill you.” When my eyebrows crawl up my fore
head, she waves me off, jumps to her feet, and pulls me up. “If you saw it from my side, you’d know it was true. They only go for the kill when they see they’re about to die. We must tell the others.”
“We don’t know if we are right.” I’m running after her when she darts towards the Academy, Tenebris looping next to me.
“But what if we are, Franky?” Her words come out in a rush. “What if we are?”
“Fuck. Here comes another clusterfuck.”
Chapter Fourteen
Astara is nothing if not well organized. Plus, I believe most of the people in the building are scared of her, because the moment she enters the front doors like a whirlwind, everyone around jumps to do what she asked. In no time at all I find myself fidgeting, shuffling my feet, and staring at my toes in our makeshift war room, doing my best to ignore Zoltan’s gaze.
I feel ridiculous for running out on him or blaming him for anything about my situation. The fact that I felt overwhelmed and needed to cry it out does not give me the right to shun him. But at that moment, I needed someone to blame—a person I could focus my anger and helplessness on so I didn’t explode. In hindsight, I’m too embarrassed to look at him now, while guilt comes off him in waves.
So I mope, finding my dirty feet fascinating.
“I couldn’t move Daren,” Leo says on a sigh, closing the door behind him. “He is still recovering. That was a tough one on his magic.”
“We can fill him in later.” Astara is vibrating from the need to tell them what we think is happening in the human realm.
I’m still hoping we are wrong.
Avoiding the intensity of Zoltan’s eyes on me, I focus on Azgor, who I don’t notice until now. For a change, the collar of his shirt looks as it should, not gaping down his chest because he’s been tugging on it like crazy. Instead he is hugging something to his chest like his life depends on it, standing to the side away from all of us. When he notices me watching, I lift an eyebrow in question.