Sunny interrupted. “Nobody knew, Jerry. Only my mom and Barb.”
Gerald continued as if she hadn’t spoken. “Anyhow, by the time I got over here I’d boiled it all down to you, and I was hot under the collar. It’s a lot easier to blame you than myself. Sorry, Sunny. Maybe someday we can sort it all out and forgive each other, okay? It’s obvious you’re a good mom. Our daughter is amazing.”
Sunny flinched at his reference to “our daughter.” Rita blushed and grinned.
He took a deep breath and locked eyes with Rita. “I’m not the same stupid asshole kid I was then. I want to know you, Rita. I’ll be proud to know you … and I hope you’ll want to know me.” His hand reached toward hers.
Rita nodded, allowing the hand of the stranger who happened to be her father to rest on hers, but just momentarily. Then she gently pulled back.
He went on. “Maybe we can get together soon, just you and me?”
Rita shook her head as if overwhelmed. “God, this is so hard. It’s a lot to take in all at once. I have a dad, Gerald. A really good dad, and I love him a lot. Before we go any further I want you to know that. All I ever knew about my biological dad was that his name was Jerry.”
He looked at Sunny. “You mean she didn’t know either?”
Sunny replied, “I told you, Barb—you remember Barb—and my mom were the only ones who knew.”
“Wow.” Gerald turned to her. “That’s heavy.” He stood and made his way to the door. “Dinner tomorrow, Rita?”
“Okay. Call me with the particulars.”
“Sunny, I guess we need to talk. Sometime in the next few days, okay?”
After Gerald left, Rita zinged her mother with sarcasm. “Well, that went well. Now do you understand why I’m so mad? You saw how furious Gerald was ’cause he didn’t know something he should have known. It’s just as important—maybe more—for me. I should have known all about him all these years. And vice versa.”
“You’re probably right, but he just disappeared. Besides, he rejected both of us so thoroughly that I just put him out of my mind and didn’t even try to track him down. I should have realized what it meant to you … but I was so hurt and so mad I didn’t.”
“Right, it’s all about you. Now what about Dad? You owe him the truth.”
“I don’t know where to begin.”
Rita crossed the room to pick up the telephone and handed it to her. “Start here.”
Sunny dialed Barry at his office. It rang and rang. She was ready to hang up when he answered, “Hello?”
“Hi. I thought I’d missed you.”
“I was on my way out. Had last-minute catching up to do. I’m glad you called. What’s up?”
“Well, there’s something I need to tell you.”
“What? You sound serious.” He coughed his smoker’s cough. “You and Rita okay?”
“Well … ahh …”
Rita crossed her arms in front and mouthed, Tell him.
“Well, you know I’ve been asking questions of people at the party. I was at Frank Allen’s house when Gerald came over.”
“Did he make a pass at you?”
“No, no. He noticed Rita’s birthmark on her neck.”
“Yeah?”
“Let me finish. A … uh … well, you know that Rita’s father’s name is Jerry?”
“Right. So?”
“Anyway, he has the same birthmark.”
“Okay, again I ask you, what’s this leading to? Oh man, wait. Gerald—Jerry—right? What the hell? I stood there at Gina’s place talking to him. I bet everyone at the rez knows. I must’ve looked like a fool.” He paused to let it sink in. “You could’a told me that at the motel. You could’a just said, ‘Oh, by the way, Gerald—my ex—that’s Rita’s father.’ What else haven’t you told me?”
Sunny sniffed. “Wait, nobody thought you were a fool because … ah … uh … nobody knew. Even Gerald didn’t know ’til today.”
“You never told him? What the hell … ? You seem to have a bad habit of not telling people important things.”
The phone went dead. Sunny stood holding the receiver. “He hung up on me. He’s never done that before.”
“Can you blame him?” asked Rita.
Sunny stabbed at the buttons, trying to reconnect. No answer. She tried again, still no answer.
Rita grimaced and put on her coat. “I can’t take this right now. I’m going to the salon.” She slammed the door on her way out.
Sunny sat at the kitchen table feeling a little sick and more than a little angry, but she couldn’t figure out who she was mad at: herself, or Gerald, or Rita, or Barry. Or all of the above? “Why does everyone blame me? I have to make them understand, or I might lose both Rita and my husband. My friend was right. Barb said they’d be pissed. Well, guess what, so am I.”
While Rita was at the salon the next day, Gerald called Sunny. “Can I come over? Rita’s at work, isn’t she? I’m taking the afternoon off so we can talk … if you’re free, that is.”
Quite a bit more subdued than he’d been when he arrived the day before, he was invited in and seemed willing to hear her out.
Sunny started the conversation. “I never realized how angry I’ve been at you all these years. Way back then, when I told you I might be pregnant, you went ballistic. You said, ‘You better not be.’ You said you didn’t want any kids, ‘now or ever.’ You swore at me. I thought you were going to slug me. You even said, ‘Well, don’t worry, you can get rid of it.’ Don’t you remember? We had a big fight, and then we broke up.”
“No. I don’t remember that but I’ll take your word for it. I wasn’t too bright or mature back then.”
Sunny went on. “Later on, when I found out for sure that I was pregnant, it was too late. You were long gone … from my life, and from Reno.”
“People change, you know,” he said. “You should have told me. I might have stepped up to the plate. You cheated me out of years of knowing her, seeing her grow up. Cheated her too.”
“I was really upset. You weren’t interested in a pregnant girlfriend. You were a party animal to the core—no grown-up responsibilities for you. Or you’d have made me get an abortion, and I wasn’t about to do that. Abortion was illegal … and potentially deadly … in 1963. Sorry, but you weren’t worth it.”
She took a deep breath. “Besides, you’d already gone and I didn’t even know where to start looking for you.”
“Hey, we’re both from the rez. Somebody could’a told you. Somebody would’a known where I was, sooner or later.”
Sunny just nodded. She’d probably always been aware of that possibility, but hadn’t wanted to consider it. She was getting mad all over again.
She got in his face; her voice escalated. “How come you shouldn’t be judged … ’cause you were young and stupid. Try to remember, please, I was the same age as you. We were both teenagers, but I was supposed to act like a wise, mature adult. I was supposed to do everything right. The old double standard is alive and well.”
He sighed. “I guess we both made mistakes. What can I say? I was an idiot. I’m sorry.”
“We both have to do what we can to make it up to Rita. I didn’t realize how unfair it was to her.”
“Hey, you got a beer or something?”
Sunny went to the fridge and came back with a couple of sodas, checked the cupboard for glasses and came up empty, took two clean glasses from the top rack of the dishwasher, and poured.
“Well, enough of the blame game. I really want to know how you managed all those years as a single mom. Can’t have been easy.”
“You got that right. But I had my mom, thank God. After Rita was born my mother took care of her so I could go to college.”
CHAPTER FORTY
Rita was still upset with her mom, but the phone was ringing off the hook at her salon. She needed to get it together and act professional. “Good afternoon. Rita’s Hair Happening.” She was shaking all over. She hoped the caller couldn’t tell it in
her voice.
“Hi. How’re you doing?”
She was surprised to hear Victor’s voice. “I’ve been better. What’s up with you?” Any other time she’d have been happy to hear his voice, but today was different. She just met her real dad. And she learned she’d been lied to her whole life.
“I have the rest of the afternoon off. I thought maybe we could drive out to Windy Lake. There’s still a few hours of daylight. Besides it sounds like you could use some fresh air.”
“Uhh … I don’t know. I might not be the best company.”
“Sure you will. Fresh air and hiking clears your mind. You’ll feel better. I can come by in about ten minutes. What d’you say?”
“Oh, why not? It might help my mood.”
“Good. See you in a few.”
Rita scooted her chair back from the desk and rushed to the supply room where she kept an old pair of boots. She also grabbed her purse and searched for her lipstick. “Oh, dang. Why didn’t I pay more attention to my makeup today?” she said to the mirror.
A couple of employees were at the table in the break room.
“Why so nervous?” asked one of her hairstylists. “You never had a date before?”
“Do something with your hair,” said a second one.
“Who is this guy?”
“Just a friend. We have people and things in common.”
“Mmm …” The girls giggled knowingly.
Rita rushed to the reception desk to wait for Victor, feeling like a schoolgirl. Considering what she’d just been through she needed air and space and sunlight, not more stress over Gerald and Barry. And her mom.
Fifteen minutes later, Victor walked in and Rita stood to meet him. “Are you going to cut my hair?” He grinned.
“No, why?”
“You have your smock on.”
Rita’s face grew warm; she knew her cheeks were rosy. She hung up her lab coat and grabbed her jacket. Her heart was racing.
Windy Lake was a twenty-minute drive from her salon. The sun had played hide-and-seek with the clouds all morning. Now it dismissed the clouds and took over the sky.
As they rode along she noticed the black shiny upholstery and the new-truck smell. The rock station was playing Pink Floyd, one of Rita’s favorites.
They passed the giant corral filled with wild mustangs. Victor pointed to the right of the road. “This is where Mustang Annie started saving the horses. They’d be in the mountains starving if it wasn’t for her.”
Rita was quiet. While driving, Victor turned to her with a half-smile. “How’re you doing?”
She met him with silence, and shrugged. Her mind was going full speed about the secret her mother had kept. She told Rita the name of her real father—his nickname, anyway. Why not introduce them? Or just let her know at Gina’s that Gerald was her dad? It really hurt. So many emotions were flowing through her. I should have stayed at work.
Finally, Victor asked, “Is there anything I can help with?”
“No, it’s personal.”
“Isn’t everything?”
That made her snicker and she started to feel more comfortable. “I guess you’re right.”
“Sure, you share with me and I’ll share with you.”
“Sort of, like you show me yours and I’ll show you mine?” Her eyes grew wide and she put her hands over her mouth, feeling the heat rise in her face. “Oh man, did I just say that?”
“Whoa, what kind of guy do you think I am?” He laughed. “Is bright red your natural color?”
Rita started laughing from pure embarrassment and Victor joined in, breaking the tension.
The cattle guard at Windy Lake’s entrance rattled as they drove over it. At the side of the road were two long spears crisscrossed near their tops. From the tips of the arrows hung a sign, “You are now entering Indian Country.”
Rita sighed. “This lake always amazes me. Nothing but blue water as far as you can see, to the left and right. Especially the huge natural stone pyramid in the middle. I don’t know how it was formed, but there it stands. Such beautiful colors.”
“Imagine, back in the Old West, riding out in the desert. As the pioneers came up over the hill, they’d see this giant lake. I bet they thought it was a mirage.”
Rita nodded. “Some call it Superstition Lake. A lot of stories come from there. People who fish out in the middle of the lake are told by the old-timers not to get out of the boat and swim because of the undertows, but they usually don’t listen. Then their bodies are found almost a hundred miles away.”
“Wow. We’re not going fishing or swimming.” He drove around part of the lake, up a winding dirt road, and over a hill before stopping.
“Let’s get out here. We can hike across the hill and down the other side, okay?”
“Sure, looks fine,” Rita answered. More comfortable now she was glad she’d come. She loved being out in the open and close to nature. A hard breeze made sand and dust swirl around her and up her nostrils. Rita scratched her nose. “How are you feeling without Gina?”
“Still bothers me. Actually makes me mad. I don’t know why she changed her mind. Gina and I argued all afternoon. I hate thinking about how everything ended.” He made a fist.
Rita looked at the ground. “Were you in love with her a long time?”
“I wasn’t in love with her. And she wasn’t in love with me. I felt sorry for her and the boys. I thought I could help them get out of their bad situation. I have a big house, plenty of room. That way she could take her time to look for a place.” His voice rose.
While speaking about Gina, Rita thought she noticed tones of anger and disappointment in his voice. They discussed the ways both had loved her. She wondered if Victor had what her mother called a Knight in Shining Armor syndrome—wondered if he just needed to rescue people. She didn’t know if that was a good or bad thing.
Rita walked along lost in thought, when her foot slipped on a large sandy rock. Victor’s hand stretched out to grasp hers as she began to slide down the hill but fell short. Small rocks in front of her raised a cloud of dust. Fumbling for a foothold, her fingers outstretched toward him, she clawed at the air. She extended her arms toward him to break her fall. She headed down the hill, collecting sticker weeds, dirt, rocks, all sliding down, creating dust. Stepping closer, almost within reach, his feet slid downward as small rocks rolled beneath his boots. He struggled to right himself. He lunged to grab her around the waist, but missed. Her arms flailed in the air. He bent over and tried to catch her and managed to grab her wrists and pull her up.
All of a sudden, she was upset. “I’m so embarrassed, what a klutz.”
“Are you all right? Are you hurt? I was trying to grab hold of you. Sorry. I tried to keep you from falling. Didn’t want you hurting yourself.”
They continued hiking around the hill, making their way back to the car. “Look at how beautiful the shadows are, starting to fall on the mountaintops.” Moving down the last muddy hill, Rita lost her footing again; her legs went out from under her. Her arms flailed in the air. Victor reached out to catch her at the same time she tried to grab hold of him. Both tumbled and fell in the mud. They landed on their stomachs, facing each other, so close they could feel each other’s breath. They locked eyes, then looked away.
“Oh.” She felt so awkward. “I sure am clumsy.” She smiled.
Victor brushed back the hair from her face. Moving closer he touched her lips with one finger, then moved it slowly down across her chin, his eyes never leaving hers.
Spellbound by his green eyes, Rita sat motionless, goose bumps prickling her arms.
He looked at a hawk overhead, breaking the spell, and stood up abruptly, then grabbed her arms and pulled her up. “We’d better go, we’re losing daylight. It’s getting cold, especially since we’re wet and muddy.”
Rita wondered if the hawk was one they’d seen at Gina’s funeral.
The last remains of sunlight dipped below the mountain line as they walked back
to the car in silence, hand in hand. At the touch of his hand Rita shivered slightly wondering what had happened back there? Had there been electricity between them, or was it just her imagination?
“Here, I have a couple of towels in the back of my truck, to wipe off with. We’re not too bad.” He dabbed at her cheeks with the towel. Driving back toward town, he asked, “Hungry? Jack’s is up ahead.”
“Sounds good.”
He pulled into the parking lot at Jack’s Restaurant and helped Rita out of the truck. They were seated right away. It was Thursday night and the place wasn’t crowded, which was unusual. Jack’s was known for good food, and a lot of it. An older restaurant with worn booths of green-and-yellow vinyl, it had a warm, cozy feel. They could hear the clatter of pots and pans and the bell for waitresses to pick up their orders. Waitresses wore traditional black pants and white shirts. The smell of French fries made Rita hungrier. Jack’s had employed the same waitresses for years. An older woman who brought two glasses of water, took their order, and disappeared.
“The heat feels good.” Rita rubbed her hands together.
“Yeah. You seemed to be somewhere else today, Rita,” Victor said. “I’m sorry if you didn’t enjoy the hike.”
“No, I did, really. It helped to take my mind off things for a while. I’m sorry. It’s … I do have something else on my mind.”
“Can I help? I’m a good listener.”
“Well, I don’t know if it’ll help, but I guess it can’t hurt. It’s about Gerald. You know who he is, don’t you?”
“The guy who’s going out with Eva?”
They went silent as the waitress brought their cheeseburgers, fries, and colas. Rita gestured with a fry as she talked. “Yeah. As if dating Eva weren’t bad enough, what makes it worse … uh … I just found out …” she swallowed hard and placed the remainder of her French fry on the rim of her plate. “Well, I just figured out that Gerald is my biological father.”
Whispers in the Wind Page 18