“Yeah, I have a couple hours. I’ll go rest and take a shower. I’ll be fine.”
Sunny was watching the six o’clock news when Rita emerged from her room dressed in black Levi’s, a red turtleneck, and black boots.
“I don’t know what time I’ll be back.” Rita struggled into her coat. “I called Dad. He said to tell you he loves you, but needs some time to digest everything. His problem isn’t with Gerald, it’s with you. Keeping it a secret from him after you saw Gerald, knowing Dad had talked to him. He’s upset. You made him feel like he’s not important.
“I’ll call him.” Sunny rose from her chair.
“No! No, Mom. Give him some room. He’s hurt. I’m leaving to meet Gerald now. Promise me you won’t call Dad.”
“Okay, I won’t.” But I’m hurting too.
Rita smiled, blew her a kiss and went out the door.
Sunny started for the phone. The door opened and Rita popped back in.
“I knew you wouldn’t listen. He said he’d call you. Do you want to make him madder? Do I have to unplug the phone and take it with me? Stop acting like a kid.”
“You’re right. Go have a nice time.” Anxious and grumpy, Sunny settled in to watch The Golden Girls. She dozed off on the couch, visions of Barry moving away from her, his arms stretched out to her, mixed with fog. Startled, she woke.
The eleven o’clock news was almost over when Rita walked in.
Sunny rubbed her eyes. “That was a long dinner. How’d it go? Did you have a nice time?” She tried to act casual but was dying to know all the details. She imagined she’d been a major topic of their dinner talk.
Rita nodded. “We had dinner then went to his place. It was small, nice, and cozy. He showed me a photo album—pictures of his mother and father. Felt funny seeing my blood grandparents for the first time.” She showed a picture of them to Sunny. “Oh, he took a picture of me to send to them.”
“How does this make you feel?” Sunny had never thought about Gerald’s parents. “I never met his parents. His dad’s job transferred him to Wyoming. Gerald stayed with his aunt to finish his senior year at Reed High. I met her, though. I think she’s passed on.”
She wondered how to fix the situation between all parties, or could she? All these years she’d never considered Rita’s other grandparents. Again she felt a hot coal of anxiety in the pit of her stomach. In survival mode, just trying to make it through each day, she hadn’t thought of a lot of things.
“They live in DuPont, a small town in Washington.”
“Have you thought about seeing them?”
“Yeah, he asked me if I’d like to go with him and meet them. I told him yes, I think so. First, I want to talk to Dad, though. Gerald understands. He liked Dad and said you and I were lucky.”
“I think so too.”
“It’s been a long day, Mom. I’m going to bed. Got a busy day tomorrow.”
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
SATURDAY MORNING
After breakfast and cleaning the kitchen, Rita left early for work. Sunny stepped out on the porch to pick up the newspaper. Cold crisp air. Patches of packed snow glistened against the curbs and trees. She read the announcement of her friend, Karen Washington, celebrating her twentieth year as casino manager. They’d worked together when Sunny was twenty-one. Now she wished she’d stayed until Karen’s break to talk to her rather than just waving across the huge casino the night she won at the slots.
Maybe a walk would clear her head. So many things were happening. Were she and Rita actually in danger? She should ask Gina. But what if she’d lost contact? Sunny desperately needed her. The walk would be a good idea. Maybe Gina would come to her in the wind. She remembered her friend, Karen, and retrieved her address book from her purse. Although she hoped to hear from Gina, seeing her friend from the old days would be good too. Karen could always make her laugh, and right now that’s what she needed. She found her new number and called her, explained why she was in town, and confided the awful things that had happened to her and Rita. They agreed to meet at the intersection of Second and Bally Streets.
Sunny put on her knit cap and gloves. It was so cold she could see her breath. She walked past the neighborhood houses and motels and listened for Gina’s whisper in the wind.
Have you abandoned me? I need you to help me understand what happened to you.
Sunny saw Karen turn the corner and hurried toward her. They smiled and embraced.
“So good to see you. It’s been too long,” Karen put her arm around Sunny’s shoulder. “How are Rita and your husband?”
“They’re fine. How about you? I saw your announcement in the paper. Congratulations. Couldn’t get out of those casinos, I see.”
“I’m a casino junkie.” She smiled. “In fact, they just called me in to work. Do you mind if we cut our walk short?”
“No, not at all.”
“I’m so sorry. I saw Gina’s obituary in the paper. Such a terrible thing. She was so young.”
“I’m trying to figure it out. I can’t believe she’d kill herself.” Sunny didn’t comment further.
As they walked and talked, a woman walking toward them clutched her purse and crossed the street.
Karen pointed at the woman. “Did you see that? I want to holler, “Lady, this is 1985. I’m black, and I’m the manager of a casino I couldn’t even step inside in the sixties.”
“Maybe it’s me,” said Sunny. As they walked, they reminisced.
Karen said, “Remember when we went to the lunch counter at Woolworth’s, and you were shocked because the waitress wouldn’t serve us? And you didn’t know why. Did you know that Reno used to be known as The Mississippi of the West?”
“Not The Biggest Little City in the World?”
“Yeah, that too.”
Sunny looked down Virginia Street at all the casinos, keeping her ears open, listening for Gina.
“Odd, how things have changed. When I see how buildings are now, it’s like I look through them and see them the way they were when I was young,” said Sunny.
“Me too. I feel sad. Of course, things are much better. Not great, but better. Forget this. Let’s go get a cup of coffee before I have to go to work.”
They giggled like schoolgirls. Sunny put her arm around her friend as they walked to the coffee shop.
After coffee, Karen went to work.
Sunny remained at the table having a second cup. The signs across the street sparkled against the sun. She took the sketch pad from her purse and began to draw. The image that emerged was a tree with dead limbs and a diaphanous woman beside it, the wind blowing her hair into its branches. Talk to me, Gina, please! She put her pad back and started out into the crisp air.
Sunny took her time on her walk thinking about Gina and the bits of papers she’d found.
Gina, can you sense me? Limbs from the tree moved back and forth, the wind picked up dust and swirled below the fire hydrant, and around the bushes in the planter boxes. “Is that you, Gina?” She stopped, stood still, cocked her head, and listened.
Sunny. I’m with you.
“Oh, Gina, I thought you were gone.” Sunny’s eyes filled with tears. “Tell me what happened. I need to know. Why did you kill yourself? Was it because of our argument?
Help me.
“What did you write in that note to Jesse?” Sunny got an image of pink paper, Gina’s handwriting across the page. She tried to read the words. “Gina, what did you write?”
Scared. Help me.
Sunny was getting tired. She could see the sun shining through Gina’s sheer shape. “Scared? Why? Were you scared moving in with Victor?”
Help me … find peace. Tired. So tired. The wind whipped up. Sunny, my boys.
“They’re fine. Gina, tell me about the note? You have to try. Think! What did you write to Jesse?”
The wind stopped. So did Gina’s frail voice. Sunny tried to call her back, but she was gone. “Damn, I was so close. This otherworldly communication takes a
lot out of me. “Was that all?” Sunny asked out loud. A woman walking by frowned and picked up her pace.
Sunny was worried. Maybe Gina didn’t write that note. She took the shortcut back to Rita’s. The weather had turned colder as it often did late in the day in March. As she walked, she thought about when she and Gerald broke up before she found out she was pregnant, Sunny had been scared half to death. I did what was necessary for our survival.
Sunny walked up the driveway as Rita drove in smiling and waving.
When they entered the house, Sunny said, “Looks like you’re in a good mood. What’s going on?”
Rita hung their coats in the closet. “I am good.” She continued to smile. “Went for a hike with Victor, and later we parked on top of Hidden Valley Hill, and talked forever. Oh yeah, I called Dad this morning. We had a long talk. It was nice.”
“Sounds like you’re talked out. Did he say anything about me?”
“Yes, he’s cooled down now. But he still wants to be the one to make the call.”
Sunny stared out the window. “I don’t want to lose my husband.”
“You won’t. He loves you. We talked about Gerald and his parents.”
“I know your dad. He won’t care if you get to know your grandparents. I’m not sure how he’ll feel about you and Gerald, though.”
“I assured him that I love him so much. No one or nothing can change that. He’s so wonderful. He told me I’m a lucky girl to have two men who love me. See how awesome he is? Gerald called me at work. We’re going to have dinner again next week. Probably not Harrah’s Steak House though. Maybe someplace more affordable.”
Sunny smiled at her daughter. “That’s nice. Good for you both. I didn’t tell you, I talked to Gina today on my walk. I heard her through the wind. She can’t remember what happened to her. She just remembered writing the part of the letter she left. I tried asking her more, but then she was gone.”
“What’re you going to do?”
“I am going to put the cardboard in the trunk of my car so the pages don’t come loose. I think I have enough to take to the police Monday. And I want to try to talk to Gina again.”
“Feels like a roller coaster ride. We never know what’s happening next.”
“I worry too. I wish your Dad would call me. This waiting is so hard. Maybe he’s punishing me. He knows I don’t have any patience.”
“Mom, do you mind if I go to a movie with Victor?”
“You don’t have to ask. It’s your house, and you’re an adult. Sounds like you have three men, not just two.”
Rita giggled. “That’d be nice.”
“Go on. Have a good time. I have plenty to do here. I’ll call Barbara to catch up on all the gossip … and I’ve got a good book. The new Stephen King thriller—Skeleton Crew. Don’t worry.”
“Okay, but only call Barb, no one else!”
After Rita left, Sunny tried to bring in Gina’s spirit but nothing came through. She called Barbara. They talked about everything and how close Gina had come to talking about the note.
When they hung up Sunny was tempted to call her husband, then thought better of it. Rita had made her promise …
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
Sunny sat before the hearth reading when she heard a knock on the front door. She uncurled her legs, threw off the lap robe, and went to answer it.
“Barry!” She stared openmouthed.
“Well, can I come in?”
“Yes, of course.” She laughed and swung the door wide, her arms wider. He pulled her close.
“I was sitting here waiting for you to call me.”
“I had a lot of thinking to do. I thought about everything. I figured the best thing was to come and talk it out in person.”
She took his hand and sat on the couch. He looked as nervous as she felt.
“Where’s Rita?”
“At the movies, with Victor. She’s been out with him a few times.”
“I hope she doesn’t rush into anything this time.”
“Quit stalling and tell me why you didn’t tell me you were coming.” She covered her mouth with her hands. “Sorry, that sounded harsh.”
“Because we need to talk. I’ve done a lot of thinking about us.”
She looked at him, then watched the cars out the window. Her stomach was clutching with fear. “First,” she said, “let me apologize. You were right. I should have said something when we saw Gerald. I wasn’t trying to keep anything from you. To tell the truth, I never thought I’d see him again and I was shocked he was there. It kind of threw me into a panic and I didn’t react right. I didn’t want Rita to know. That was wrong.”
“Or … Gerald,” he said. “All these years and the man didn’t know he was a father.”
“I see how it looks, but in my mind it felt right.”
He scrunched up his face and shook his head. “Not telling me was a lie … by omission. You were sneaky. That’s what upset me. I thought I knew you. I thought we promised to tell each other everything.”
Sunny gulped and replied, “Just to clear the record, I wasn’t being sneaky. There was nothing sneaky about it. I was just getting on with my life … and Rita’s. I put Gerald aside and shazam!—he didn’t exist anymore. That’s why I didn’t tell you.”
Tears fell. Does he want a divorce? Is that why he came, to talk it out in person?
Barry spoke. “I thought about everything you said. You and he were young. When he said he never wanted kids you believed him.”
She turned and faced him, angry she was so misunderstood. “Yes, I believed him. What was I supposed to do? He was adamant. Vehement. No ifs, ands or buts about it. He was over-the-top clear about not wanting a baby. And his baby was already growing in my belly. So I put him out of my mind. If that makes me sneaky, or vile, or hateful, well, I’m sorry. I’ll try to make it up to everyone, but I am not the terrible person you all seem to think I am.”
Barry put his arms around his wife and held her tight. “Nobody thinks you’re a terrible person, babe. But you kind of dug yourself into a hole all those years ago. Made some bad choices—but at this point it doesn’t matter. Hell, everybody makes bad choices sometimes. What matters is that Rita needs to know Gerald, and vice versa. I’m comfortable knowing she loves me. I just wish you’d told me.”
She shrugged. “So does Gerald. Wish I’d told him, that is.”
“It must’ve come as a shock.” He ran his tongue over his lips. “Let’s sit down. I’m not finished. I have something to tell you … and you’re not going to like it.”
Sunny stood, her arms crisscrossing her chest, her breathing stopped, sure he was about to tell her he wanted a divorce.
Barry sat on the couch, motioning for her to sit beside him. Floyd jumped into her lap. She lowered her head and stroked his soft fur. She looked at Barry and whispered, “What?”
“I’m not making any excuses for anything I did.”
Something he did? Like what!
“It started when you told me about Gerald. I was flabbergasted. I couldn’t believe you held back information like that.” He flung his arms in the air. “Like I was nothing. It hurt.”
“No. I never meant to hurt you.”
“Let me finish. I was mad. Of course I went to The Corner. Only this time I met someone.”
Sunny gasped. Her hands flew to her throat. Fear gripped her heart.
“We sat; we talked and drank. Believe it or not, this is the first time I’ve ever done that.”
“What else happened?” Her voice was hoarse. Her chest felt empty.
“Let me get to it. I’m mad and ashamed of myself.”
“My God, Barry, what did you do?” A tear slid down her cheek. Her hands shook.
He took a hold of them. “We had too much to drink. I walked her to the taxi. She wanted me to go to her place. I’m not proud of it, but I almost did. Then I thought about us. Don’t cry, Sunny. Listen to me.”
Tears flowed. She walked over and picked up a few
tissues. In disbelief she turned her back to him, but saw his reflection in the wall mirror.
Barry walked up behind her and held her close. “Babe, will you please let me finish? I didn’t do anything. I turned down all her offers. I saw what could happen.
Eyes wide, Sunny looked up at him. “All her offers?”
“Sunny, please come here. Let me tell the rest. I’ve given this a lot of thought.”
He’s found someone else. He didn’t cheat on me but he wanted to.
She sat next to him. Her heart beat so fast she couldn’t speak as he grabbed her hands and played with her fingers.
“What happened scared me. She called me and wanted to have lunch, or a drink after work.”
“You gave her your number?”
“No. Ahh … you work with her.”
“What!” Sunny jumped up, hands on hips, mouth agape. “Who?”
“Lisa somebody, I don’t know her last name.”
“Loose-Legs Lisa? That’s what we call her at the office. No wonder.” She got up and paced.
“Yes, I think that’s her name … the Lisa part, not the other.”
“Not funny. I am not in the mood.”
“Listen to me. Calm down and hear what I have to say. Come over here and sit with me.” He reached for her hand. “I keep trying to tell you something. Please listen. Stop interrupting. My family means more to me than anything else. This whole incident scared me. It made me realize what I have, and what I want. I want my family. I love you and I made my decision. If you’ll help me, I want to quit drinking.”
She looked deep into his face. “I love you too.” She wanted to see what kind of feelings she got from him.
He held her close and kissed her. She reciprocated.
“I’ll do what I can to help you. I’d fire Lisa if I could.” She smiled. “Too bad she works in the other building now. But lucky for her.”
He looked her in the eyes. “I want us to work on our marriage together.”
“I do too,” she said. “We have a good marriage. I know we can work on it. I feel lucky we love each other.” Sunny felt like dancing. She kept a smile on her face, happy he wanted to stop drinking. She wasn’t naive enough to just take his word for everything. This would take work.
Whispers in the Wind Page 20