by Parker, Ali
She shrugged a shoulder. “I don’t know. There’s the fact you aren’t under his thumb anymore. I mean that wasn’t cool.”
I smiled. “I didn’t mind it at all. Is that weird? I mean, I liked the way he dominated me. He didn’t push it too far. It was exciting to have a man be so, so—”
“Alpha caveman?” she offered.
I laughed. “I guess in a way he was very caveman. It was hot. I could see him bare-chested, pounding his fists and hollering. I was more than happy to let him drag me to his bedroom,” I said, my face heating as I thought about the way he dominated me in the bedroom.
She rolled her eyes. “I don’t want to know. You’ve had him. We’ve talked about him, now it’s done. We’re moving on and not looking back. Let’s focus on the future without Grayson Bancroft in it.”
I wanted to protest and tell her no, but I knew she was right. I had to pick up the pieces and keep moving on. It was probably for the best I found out who he really was and how he truly felt about me before things got too complicated. I had gone into the agreement knowing it was supposed to be on paper only, but something changed for me. I had tricked myself into believing it changed for him as well. I was wrong.
“Fine. You’re right. Distract me.”
She laughed. “That’s what the wine and cheese are for.”
I nodded my head. “Okay. We’re not going to mention Grayson again.”
She shook her head. “Why do I think that is going to be a lot harder than it sounds?”
I slapped a hand to my forehead. “I did it again.”
“Why don’t we see if there is some sappy chick flick on?” she said, reaching for the remote.
“I don’t think that’s going to do a lot of good making me forget my current situation,” I mumbled.
“True. How about a horror flick? You’ll be too scared to think about sex.”
I burst into laughter. “Possibly. To be fair, it isn’t the sex I was thinking about.”
“Liar. You’ve been thinking about sex since the first time you laid eyes on him. I would have, too, if I hadn’t known about the two of you, but I make it a point never to fantasize about getting down and dirty with my best friend’s man.”
“That’s a very good rule and thank you for not. I think I would have to be jealous. I shouldn’t but I would.”
She nodded her head. “We’re doing it again.”
“I know. I can’t help it. He lives in my head. I can’t stop thinking about how everything went down. Why didn’t I take your advice?” I groaned.
“Because you were worried it would make him mad,” she replied.
“I should have told him. He would have been mad, but at least he would have realized he could trust me. I blame Jack. I wonder if he did it all on purpose. He had to have known his brother would find out where we were that day.”
“Have you talked to Jack?” she asked.
I shook my head. “No way. He’s called, but I am so pissed at him for getting me involved in this mess. I think he set me up. I think he used me to make his brother mad and that is unforgivable.”
“I would be mad too. It wasn’t cool. He didn’t mention anything at lunch?”
I shrugged a shoulder. “Just the part about whether or not the engagement was real. I should have known then. I cannot believe I ignored my better judgment and sat there and ate lunch with him.”
“I’m going to say this one last thing about the matter and then we are truly done with it.”
“What?”
“You’re a good, kind person, Hannah. Grayson doesn’t know you as well as I do. If he did, he would know you would never intentionally hurt him or anyone else. That isn’t your style. I’m sorry he hurt you. For that, I want to kick him in the teeth. Give him some time and maybe he’ll come around. But if he doesn’t, it’s his loss. I don’t want you to think you did something wrong. You’re perfect as you are. It was one tiny, little mistake and you tried to explain and apologize,” she said, her voice soft.
I nodded. “Thank you. I needed this.”
“I know you did, sweetie. I know.”
She refilled our wineglasses and brought back the rest of the cheese. I was so glad to have her in my life. She was a great friend, but somewhere, deep down, I wished it were Grayson treating me with such love and respect. I wasn’t one of those women who stayed in a bad relationship or let myself get walked all over. At least, I didn’t think I was like that, but with him, I had a feeling I would relax my standards. I wanted to be with him.
It wasn’t going to work. You couldn’t have a relationship without trust. He didn’t trust me. My mind went back to the lunch conversation with Jack. He’d said there was a story that led Grayson to become the untrusting guy he was, but he didn’t tell me what it was. I had assumed it was a woman who had hurt him by hooking up with one of his brothers, but I didn’t know for sure. I hated that I had compounded whatever it was that happened so long ago.
Chapter 28
Grayson
I downed the second scotch and looked around the bar. I wasn’t sure why I had gone there. What was I expecting to happen? I knew what normally happened when I came to the bar. Or used to happen. I’d show up. I’d do a little flirting and then at the end of the night, I’d take home the woman I chose. All of it sounded so boring now. I heaved a heavy sigh, hoping to feel that familiar spark of excitement of conquering someone new. It wasn’t coming.
The usual crowd was milling about, enjoying after-work drinks with coworkers and friends while doing a little flirting. I used to be one of those people. Mingling and hooking up with a new face every week, sometimes more often. It suddenly felt cloying, like I had done this exact same thing so many times. I needed to break out of the rut I was in.
“Let’s go to the club,” I said on a spur-of-the-moment decision.
Justin wrinkled his nose. “Aren’t we a little old for that?”
“No. We’re in our early thirties. That does not make us over the hill. I need something different, something more exciting,” I complained.
He grinned. “I have plenty of excitement in my life. You could, too, if you make things right with Hannah.”
I shook my head. “Not going to happen. Come on. I won’t let you do anything that’ll get you in trouble.”
He shook his head. “I can’t stay out late. I promised I would be home before midnight. The club isn’t my thing.”
I checked my watch. “We’ve got some time. Come on. I need a wingman. We’ll go, check things out and then you can leave. I’m not asking you to close the place down.”
I tried not to let my frustration show. The guy had grown up practically overnight ten years ago and had ditched me. I mean we were still friends, but the guy was whipped. The guy I knew back in college would never get weird about going out to a club. I needed a friend and he wasn’t holding up his end of the bargain. I was always there for him. I didn’t want to get pissed, but it had been a shit week.
“Man, the pregnancy is wearing her down. She’s not sleeping well—you know, being pregnant with twins—and the other kids are not making it any easier. I promised to be there on kid duty while she tried to sleep with the two acrobats in her belly,” he said with a smile.
I nodded, knowing I wasn’t going to change his mind. He was a doting father and a devoted husband. I should be giving him credit instead of being butthurt. “All right then. I’m going to go out. I need loud music and hot women.”
Justin shook his head. “Or you could go home, maybe call Hannah and see if you guys can talk this thing through,” he said in a quiet voice.
“Hell no! What the hell?” I growled.
He burst into laughter. “All right, all right, I was only trying to help.”
“You can help by going out to the club with me.”
“No can do,” he said shaking his head.
I shrugged. “Fine. I’m going.”
“Grayson, I know we don’t talk about things like this, but I think you need to at least
talk to her. Hear her out. I’m not saying you need to jump right back into that crazy plan of yours, but I can tell she means something to you. Why not give it a chance?”
“I can’t. You know I’m not cut out for the love-and-marriage thing. I can’t love a woman. I don’t want to love a woman,” I insisted.
“You don’t know until you try.”
I shook my head. “I’m not putting myself in that position.”
“I know what you think you saw, but you said she told you she felt something for you. I can’t believe you don’t feel a little something for her. There is a spark there. I see it in your eyes. I see it in the way you’re acting and the way you talk about her.”
I took a deep breath. I wasn’t going to explain myself to him. I couldn’t. “Thank you for your sound advice. It isn’t like that with me. The spark you see is lust. I’m not going to deny sex with her was amazing. That doesn’t mean I won’t find another woman to have amazing sex with. It was just sex,” I reiterated for him as well as myself.
He looked at me and nodded. “Okay. I won’t pressure you. I’m here for you if you do want to talk.”
“Thanks. I’m fine. I am going to head out to the club, though, and see if anything has changed. Thanks for making an exception to the rule and coming out on a Friday. I know that’s breaking the rules.”
He chuckled. “Thanks for inviting me. I like getting out now and again.”
“Take care of your family,” I said, not truly mad at him. I couldn’t be mad at him for being happy.
He took the last drink from his glass and stood up. “Have fun and don’t do anything too wild and crazy,” he said, shaking my hand before heading out.
I walked out behind him, looking for a night that I hoped I wouldn’t actually remember. I headed for one of my favorite clubs from back in the day. It was one of the high-end clubs, with tight security, and anyone caught taking pictures with their phones was banished for good. It’d been a while since I’d gone out for a night of debauchery. It was exactly what I needed to get Hannah out of my mind.
When I walked in, it didn’t take long for the manager to recognize who I was and quickly escort me to a more private seating area. I thanked him before scanning the crowd. There were a lot of lovely ladies milling about. A lot of them were looking my way.
The blonde with the big, puffy red lips; I’d let her go down on me. I bet those plump lips would feel good sliding up and down my hard cock. I leaned back, giving my growing erection some space. The woman to the left, the one who kept eyeing me like I was a piece of candy, she was the kind that would demand I go down on her. I could, but I wouldn’t. I knew I could make her scream. She was a screamer. I knew women well enough to what they liked and what would make them beg for more.
There was no shortage of women ready to help me forget about Hannah. That was the problem. None of them were what I wanted. She’d spoiled me. I didn’t know if I would ever be able to touch another woman again. They would never compare to her. It was her taste, her smell that I craved. I thought about taking one of the women home and do my best to pretend she was Hannah. It wouldn’t work. I wanted Hannah and that pissed me off more than what she did to me.
“Hey, mind if we crash your party up here?” A male voice cut through my fantasy.
I turned to see an old friend. “Jason! Hey!” I said, getting up and shaking the guy’s hand.
“Grayson Bancroft. It’s been a while!” he greeted.
I nodded my head. “I thought I’d give you all a chance by taking a step back.”
He burst into laughter. “That explains everything.”
I shook the hands of the other three men I vaguely remembered from past years of hanging out at the club. It was a little strange to see they were still hanging around.
The waitress returned, greeted each of the men by name, confirming my suspicion they were regulars. We ordered more drinks before catching up a little.
“I thought I saw something about you being engaged,” Jason murmured.
I laughed. “Yeah, there was that.”
“She doesn’t mind you hanging out in this meat market?”
I shrugged a shoulder. I wasn’t quite ready to tell them it was already over. I wanted to spare myself and her the embarrassment. We’d quietly let everything fade away and people would forget we were ever engaged in the first place. We’d release some kind of statement and say there was an amicable separation or something like that.
“She doesn’t mind,” I said.
It wasn’t a lie. She couldn’t mind because she didn’t know, and even if she did know, it didn’t matter. Her opinion about my life didn’t matter.
“I think you have an admirer,” Jason said, nodding to a rather fiery redhead circling our area and making some very obvious eyes.
I shrugged. “I’m not interested.”
I looked at the redhead. She’d be the kind of woman who would want to ride me. I imagined her double Ds bouncing in my face as she tried to give me an orgasm. It wouldn’t happen. It was only Hannah’s breasts I wanted in my face, in my mouth, and cupped in my hands. Even now, I could practically feel the weight of them in my hands.
The waitress reappeared, handing me a glass of scotch.
“What’s this?” I asked.
She smiled. “The lady at the bar, the one in the red dress, she insisted I bring it to you.”
I looked at the woman in red. She was definitely a gorgeous woman, but I wasn’t interested. “Can you tell her thank you, but I’m engaged.”
The waitress giggled. “I don’t think she’s the kind of woman who cares.”
That surprised me. Women could be ruthless. “Well, regardless, my fiancée would care, and I would hate to upset her. I could give it to one of these gentlemen. Jason? Is this something you’re interested in?”
Jason grinned. I could feel the woman watching me from her seat at the bar. “Hell yeah. You’re a fool.”
The waitress handed the drink to Jason. I looked back at the woman and tipped my head forward. She did not look happy. Jason was smiling as he held up the glass to the woman. Her eyes went to him, clearly not happy with the way things were going and spun back around to face the bar.
I burst into laughter. “I don’t think she’s interested.”
Jason shook his head. “Oh no, she was interested all right. I’ve already been there and done that, and let me tell you, it isn’t all that great.”
I threw my head back and laughed. “Sorry.”
“You live and learn. Sometimes all that war paint is not a good thing. I think the folks who manufacture makeup have some kind of responsibility for duping men. You go to bed with one person and wake up with someone completely different,” he complained.
I laughed, thinking of the recent Bancroft Estates acquisition. I really hoped that wasn’t an actual lawsuit.
“Don’t stay the night,” I quipped.
He nodded. “That is an option.”
I smiled and went back to my drink and people-watching. The women trying to catch my attention were too easy. I liked a little challenge. Hannah was no pushover. She liked to spar with me. I couldn’t imagine being with another woman who was submissive before I demanded she be submissive.
“Are you okay?” Jason asked.
I turned to look at him. “I’m great. Why do you ask?”
“You look like you’re in pain,” he commented.
I had been thinking about Hannah, which I was a little ashamed to admit did bring me a level of pain. I didn’t like it. My eyes roamed the dance floor, watching men and women writhe against each other. It was all very sexual and erotic. I’d made a mistake coming to the club. All it was doing was making me think more about Hannah. It was supposed to have been a distraction. It wasn’t working.
Chapter 29
Hannah
The bottle of wine was almost empty, which would have been sad if I didn’t have another bottle on standby. It wouldn’t be as good, but it didn’t matter af
ter the first bottle dulled our senses. I lay down on my bed, watching Amber walk into my closet.
“This is amazing. I love your closet. I want a big apartment just so I can have a huge closet,” she mumbled.
I laughed. “I’m going to be selling a lot of that stuff to support myself if I don’t get a job soon.”
She shook her head. “No! That is a crime in itself.”
“Come on, let’s play dress-up and go out. We never get to go out. You’re busy, I’m busy and now that you are not so busy, I want to party!” she shouted, her hands raised in the air.
I groaned. “The last thing I want to do is go out. Look at me,” I said, waving a hand over my lounge-around-the-house outfit.
“Come on, I want to dance. I want to let my hair loose and party,” she said, flipping through the rows of dresses in my closet.
I got off the bed and followed her into the closet. I gently rubbed my fingers across the high-end clothing, smiling as I remembered buying each garment. I had spent a lot of money on my clothing. It felt a little silly now. I should have done a much better job investing and saving.
“I haven’t been out in forever,” I said on a sigh.
“No, you haven’t. The company has been monopolizing your time. You’re free of it. Let’s celebrate, even if it does kind of suck,” she said, pulling out one of my favorite red dresses.
I stared wistfully at the dresses I could really only wear out to the club. They weren’t appropriate for the office and I wouldn’t actually consider wearing them on a respectable date. I’d bought each of them with the hopes of having somewhere to wear them.
“Okay,” I said, shocking myself.
“Okay?” she repeated.
I shrugged. “Yes. Let’s go out. It has been way too long since I’ve been out and just had fun. I miss having fun.”
She clapped her hands together and squealed, “Yes!”
“I’m going to take a quick shower. Pick whatever you want.”
She ignored me, already focusing on the vast selection of clothes in my closet. I laughed as I headed for the shower. It was going to be fun. I was going to dance and forget all about Grayson. The company’s financial troubles had been plaguing me for months. I had little time to think about anything else. Then there was the fake engagement thing. It was time for me to leave it all behind.