by Ravi Dabral
Once we had discussed all four options that had come to my mind, Guruji told me that he had also been thinking and he felt there was one more option that I had missed out, the fifth option known as self-reform. For implementing this option, he gave me a sheet of paper after writing some lines with the heading ‘Change the World by Changing Myself.’ The contents were as follows:
“The Sufi Bayazid says this about himself:
I was a revolutionary when I was young, and my prayer to God was:
‘Lord, give me the energy to change the world.’
As I approached middle age and realised that half my life had passed without my changing a single soul, I changed my prayer to:
‘Lord, give me the grace to change all those who come in contact with me. Just my family and friends and I shall be content.’
Now that I am an old man and my days are numbered; my one prayer is:
‘Lord, give me the grace to change myself.’
If I had prayed for this right from the start, I would not have wasted my life.”
Taking leave from Guruji, I returned to my room and spent the second night in succession revisiting all the options. I realised that until now I had always considered Guruji to be a good yoga and meditation teacher, but he was a mentor too. He was encouraging me to come out of my mental trauma and emotional turmoil to live a purposeful and meaningful life. The lesson I learnt today was to check out all options, analyse them from different angles and perspectives to find a solution to the problem rather than acting on impulse in a hurry.
After pondering for a long time, I concluded that the first three options that I had presented were more theoretical than practical. Instead of resolving the problem, more troubles would have arisen. Killing the culprits was not a solution as the ultimate sufferers after their demise would be their families. ‘Eye for an eye’ is an old and outdated barbaric revenge system and will only end up making the whole world blind. It is followed and promoted only either in movies or in uncivilised tribal areas.
Secondly, this virus of corruption was not limited to these five. In fact, our entire world has been attacked by this virus; it is not limited to India. In fact, rather than using black magic one should exercise white magic which removes this corruption virus and converts the devils into good human beings so that they think in the right and progressive direction to make this world a peaceful place to live in. But the big question is whether such ‘white magic’ exists and if it does how to implement it?
Suddenly my eyes reverted to the page that Guruji had given to me. I read it a couple of times. The conclusion I came to was that the text on the page was asking us to change ourselves instead of trying to change the world, relatives or friends. I thought long and hard, and some questions plagued me. Why do I need to change myself? Have I wronged others? Is believing in principles, values, and morals wrong? Why does Guruji want me to change myself? How would changing myself help me in taking revenge? I hoped Guruji was not joking with me. With these troubled thoughts in mind, I finally fell asleep, still without coming to any conclusion.
The next morning, in my meeting with Guruji, I told him that I had discarded the first three options and planned to concentrate on the fourth option, taking help of the judiciary. But even this option was not a rosy path, there were many thorns on the way. I would have to do a lot of planning before I could initiate it. Then Guruji asked about the fifth option that he had given me. I told him that I was confused because this option asks me to change myself. When I am not at fault, where is the need to change myself? Also, how is this change going to help me achieve my revenge? I asked him to enlighten me about the option.
Guruji advised me, “Suraj, don’t be in haste. I want you to hold your decision of taking revenge for at least a few months.”
Even I felt that for the time being this was the best option open to me. To the world, I was already dead. Declaring my presence on this earth would only magnify the problems for my family and me. Though I was worried about the welfare of my parents and Priya, and the future of Ujjawal, I had full faith that my brother Vijay would shoulder the responsibility. It took me a few days to fully recover from the trauma.
To utilise my investigative journalism skills, Guruji gave me an interesting assignment to explore the possibility of making Uttarakhand the spiritual capital of the world. For this purpose, he suggested that I should prepare a report which he intended to forward to the ‘United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization’ (UNESCO). To complete this assignment, I did extensive travelling for around three months and visited many ashrams in Rishikesh, Haridwar and the upper reaches of the Himalayas. I interacted and interviewed many yogis, gurus, and learners, both Indian and foreigners to know their perspectives, and recorded their suggestions. They all conveyed that in today’s materialistic world where vices such as greed, lust, and addiction have destroyed internal and external peace, there is a great need to inculcate values, virtues and morals among global citizens especially among students. This is to make this world a better and more peaceful place to live in, and Uttarakhand as a spiritual capital of the world can play a vital role in this mission.
Once I had submitted my report to Guruji for his review and inputs, he suggested that I should participate in the self-reform course, where people from all over the world with different backgrounds learn about purification of body and soul through yoga and meditation. Guruji said that after doing this two weeks’ course, you will gain mental and spiritual strength which will help you to get your revenge. Guruji said with a smile on his face, “You can consider it a kind of ‘white magic’ strategy just the opposite of your black magic revenge strategy.” Listening to the words black magic brought a smile to my face as well.
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Self-reform or White Magic Course
T he ashram works on the principle of having small batches of ten persons who meditate and do yoga together. At any given time, there are around thirty batches at the ashram. So, at all times, a minimum of three hundred learners are present. The time-period of self-reform course was two weeks. Some volunteers who have a high inclination towards spirituality stay for an extended period and assist Guruji as volunteers in the running of the ashram.
The boarding and lodging at the ashram were free of cost with only a donation box at the entrance of the Peace Hall where people could leave donations after the discourse as per their will and what their pockets allowed. These donations were used for the upkeep of the ashram as well as for paying for the food, utilities, and salaries of twenty workers employed by the ashram for various jobs.
To begin with, Guruji said, “During this self-reform course, please follow the rule ‘learn-unlearn-relearn’ to gain knowledge. We need to ‘learn’ virtuous qualities to live a peaceful and stress-free life; ‘unlearn’ vices such as hatred, jealousy, gossiping, greed, lust, and addiction which are responsible for about 50 percent of our problems and stress; and ‘relearn’ good habits and healthy lifestyles.”
Our self-reform course began with each one of us giving a short introduction.
Rakesh Chopra (fifty years old, from Mumbai), an investment banker by profession said, “A close insight into the functioning of investment companies made me realise that they manipulate financial markets. They receive insider trading information about shares through their contacts in corporate houses and spread rumours through paid media. Based on media spread rumours, the common public invest their hard-earned savings in such speculative shares hoping for a substantial gain, but ultimately become victims of these big investment companies. This way, the rich suck the blood of poor and hence rich become richer and the poor poorer.
I have realised all bodily needs can be fulfilled by money, but it cannot buy mental peace, and hence I have come here to seek it.”
Guruji commented that financial consultants like Mr. Chopra could not only help in bridging this huge wealth gap but could also come up with practical solutions to stop the over-exploitation of natural
resources by greedy businessmen and investors.
Mohammad Haroon Hussain (thirty-two years) introduced himself, “I am a Ph.D. student at Jeddah University in Saudi Arabia. My thesis is on a comparative study of all religions existing in the world. What made human beings shift from worshipping nature, that is, air, water, sun, mountains, trees, and so on, to worshipping human forms like Mohammad, Jesus Christ, Rama, Buddha and others? Is this shift in worshipping human figures instead of nature, the cause for the degradation of the human virtues, values and environment?”
Guruji was impressed by Haroon’s research topic. He conveyed that if we reverted to worshipping the nature, maybe Mother Earth could become a better place to live in, and our environmental issues could be resolved.
Uday Shankar Ghosh (thirty-nine years, from Kolkata) introduced himself, “I have an agro-commodity trading firm. I have realised that touts and middlemen have ruined the commodity market. Also, futures and derivative trading for speculative purposes, hoarding tendency of big greedy MNCs, giant retail stores and black marketers have increased the commodity prices, depriving millions of poor people of their basic needs.
My inclination is towards scientific temperament, to know things through observation and experiments. There is no proof of what happens after death, so spirituality is something which is not my cup of tea. But, I do believe that through yoga and meditation we can relax our body and mind.”
“I am sure Mr. Ghosh with his scientific bent of mind will open up discussions about spirituality to a different level,” said Guruji.
Roberto Romano (twenty years, from Italy) said, “I was a drug addict and have come to this ashram as part of my rehabilitation program. Peer pressure and the desire to increase my power while playing soccer made me indulge in drugs.
The eventual result of my criminal life was that the police arrested me while I was trying to rob one of the tourists to arrange money for drugs. I was sent to prison for a week but later realising my addiction, shifted to a rehabilitation centre for six months. During this period, I read a lot of books. One of them was the Bhagwad Gita. Being impressed with its karma philosophy, meditation, discourses on soul and spirituality, I decided to visit India to have a greater understanding of these concepts. I want to restart my life from the point where I had got derailed. Not only this, I want to warn other teenagers through example to not give in to peer pressure.”
Guruji assured him of greater understanding of soul and spirituality at the ashram. He said, “The drugs are created by the international mafia for greed and have no role to play in a common person’s life.”
Vinay Prakash Jain and Indu Bala Jain (aged sixty-five years and sixty-two years respectively) were a retired couple. Mr. Jain said, “I was a botany professor at Delhi University, and my wife was a classical dance teacher. We lived in our ancestral house in South Delhi. We have three sons and a daughter, all married and well settled. My eldest son is in Australia, my second son in Bangalore, third son in Gurgaon, and our daughter lives in Mumbai. We were enjoying our retired life, but the problem arose when our children started insisting that we should sell our ancestral house having a land area of around 1000 square yards, which had a market value of around ₹ 25 crores.”
Mr. Jain took a deep breath and continued his narration saying, “I was against selling the house as we had spent our entire lives there and had sweet memories and emotions attached to it. It is like a living member of our lives. I told them to retain the house as long as we were alive and then they could sell it. They very rudely disregarded our suggestion, saying that they could not wait for so long, because at present they were living in rented apartments. The amount that each one of them gets would enable them to buy an apartment of their own. They applied all types of tactics like emotional blackmail, pressure and finally threats.
In Delhi, these days, crimes against lonely old age couples living in individual property is on the rise, so our friends also advised us to sell the house and get over with it. Eventually, for the children’s happiness and our mental peace, we decided to sell the house. Being a huge and costly property, and on account of the real estate market being down, it was not easy to find a buyer. The children believed we were intentionally delaying the sale.
One day all four of them came to the house and badly misbehaved using harsh language and threats, in spite of repeated assurances from our side that for their happiness we were looking for a buyer.
Eventually, we found a buyer-cum-builder for the house and sold it for ₹ 22 crores. But by now we were disillusioned by the materialistic approach of our children. They needed to have patience and increase their skills and capabilities to fulfil their material needs instead of pressurising us to sell the house.
We decided to form a trust named ‘Indu-Prakash Education Trust’ and placed the entire amount as fixed deposits (FDs) in the trust fund. The interest from the FDs is used to educate the poor and needy children. Thus, we are helping to reform the society at the grass root level. In the last six months, our trust has sponsored scholarships to five hundred students. Now, we feel proud to be guardians of so many children.
Unfortunately, our children could not tolerate that they had gotten no money and filed a legal case against us saying that as it was an ancestral property, it was not ours to dispose of in any way we wanted. At present, the case is in a Lower Court in Delhi. If they win the case, then we will file an appeal in the Higher Court and then in Top Court, which would take another ten to fifteen years to be resolved. By that time thousands of students will be able to benefit from the trust funds, and our lives will have ended.
Now, we have decided to live a detached life, and for the past six months, we have been moving from one ashram to another. We want to spend the rest of our lives in ashrams and villages.”
Guruji said that it was a truly inspiring story. He further highlighted that a major drawback of today’s materialistic lifestyle was that the children were only interested in their parents as long as they could be a help, but the minute the usefulness ended, they follow ‘use & throw’ approach.
More than one hour had passed since the start of this introductory session, and Guruji asked us to take a short break before we continued with the introduction of the rest of the batchmates.
As was my habit from being a journalist, I had been jotting down points to get some learning from the experiences of other people. The most significant experience that I got was that mine was not a one-off case. Most people had ups and downs in their lives. If we have come into this world then life will surely have ups and downs, we need to increase our mental and spiritual strength to face the challenges in personal and professional life which I was expecting to learn from this self-reform course.
By now I had forgotten my thoughts of taking revenge or for the time being they had gone into my sub-conscious mind. But still, sometimes in my dreams, I can vividly see that terrible and horrible night when I was struggling to survive in the dark forest, and this makes me wake up with a start. These horrible dreams make my nights restless and provoke me to take revenge on the crooks. But how is still not clear to me. I decided that whatever happens, I will surely take my revenge. I cannot leave those evil people to freely roam around. After this self-reform course, I will plan my revenge strategy.
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‘We Become What We Think’
A fter a short break, Suman Kulkarni, around thirty years of age, a film actress, introduced herself, “One day while getting makeup done for the role of a Goddess, I realised that to gain fame and money I had lost my dignity, virginity, self-esteem, decorum as well as values and ethics. To get prominent roles I was often the victim of the casting couch.
Slowly and steadily my demand in the film industry had decreased. For survival and to maintain my lifestyle in the glamour world, I worked as a ‘honey trap’ for big touts, international mafia, and politicians. This led to frustration and depression. I even thought about suicide. I have come here not only to seek internal peace but als
o to reform my lifestyle and turn over a new leaf.
People envy us due to our glamorous lifestyle, but do not realise that behind every glitter, there is darkness. Some of my friends suggested that I should get married, but the only proposals that I was getting were for a live-in relationship with film producers and directors who had troubled married lives. I was not ready to degrade myself anymore.” Ending her narrative, she started crying. Indu Jain hugged her and tried to console her.
Guruji told Suman that it was a very bold step from her side to admit to the bitter truths of her glittered life.
The next person in our batch was Sardarji Mr. Davinder Singh Chatwal, sixty-two years. His parents were immigrants from Pakistan who had come over to India during the partition and later on had settled in Chandigarh, Punjab. He said, “After partition, my father started as a scrap dealer and went from door to door collecting scrap. His dream was to make me an architect, and he saved every penny to fulfil his dream. I lost my parents in the riots of 1984. For the last fifteen years, I have diversified from being an architect to a builder. I construct malls, office buildings, and residential apartments.
God has been kind to me, and I own all the luxuries that money can buy. I have two sons; the elder is a software engineer settled in Canada and the younger a heart surgeon in America.
For the past few months, I have been very restless. I have been introspecting as to what will happen to my wealth. I have realised that ‘everything in this world is temporary,’ then why to accumulate ‘permanent assets’ on the pretext of financial security and for whom? I want to do something that will help eradicate poverty and the evil practices prevalent in the society forever, but through a sustainable development model and not through donation mode.