by Berri Fox
I might be enjoying this too much, and it feels bittersweet. The thought that we’re playing a role, sends fissures of pain slicing across my chest. This is going to end, eventually. Once we convince my family, and the inheritance is secure, Sara won’t have any obligation to stay with me.
As I watch the boys laughing and playing across the booth, and feel the heat of Sara’s body against my own, I can’t help but wonder…what if this were real?
Nine
Sarah
L ucille has always had an incredible sensuality. I’ve snuck down to watch her presentations and when she puts on her ‘Domme’ voice and stalks the small stage in leather and the most badass corset I’ve ever seen I always wish that she’d meet my eyes and beckon me up to go to my knees for her.
But that’s a fantasy, and this arrangement is real life. I hadn’t expected that sexual pull to be between us here. Perhaps it’s that Lucille was always hot in the way a movie star is hot. Someone gorgeous and attractive who you never have a chance with so it’s easy to fantasise about them because it will never be real.
Lucille with her commanding presence and piercing eyes was always way out of my league. But now we’re driving to meet her parents and I’m dating her. Sort of, anyway. It’s surreal and intoxicating.
The children have drifted off in the back seat and I see lights floating by as it gets dark around us; The car moves smoothly down the highway, purring like a giant cat and it feels a little like we’re flying. I’ve always loved driving in the dark, there’s a soft sort of eeriness about it like the world outside isn’t quite real.
When I was a kid I used to pretend that the headlights of the other cars were aliens swooping down the road to meet us and I would blow kisses out my window as they went by. I remember picturing little blue women in some strange glowing spaceship blowing kisses back. The thought makes me smile now.
The silence between us is comfortable. We’ve spent plenty of nights helping Rachel count intake side by side and rolling our eyes at Cody and Abbie’s antics. I have spent a lot of time in the last two years in the company of this tall, beautiful and enigmatic woman and I don’t know her at all really.
But at the same time she’s someone I feel one hundred percent comfortable with. I know that she would never hurt me or the children.
“I love the dark,” I say softly, looking out the car window. “It always seems so peaceful.”
Lucile hums softly. “I hate it. It reminds me of my first nights out on the street when everything was fucking terrifying and I had no idea what I was doing. I stayed up every night to try to protect myself and slept through every day. I’m still scared of the dark.”
It’s a startlingly personal thing and I turn my head to look at her, my mouth dropping open. I’m not sure whether to offer my sympathy or to express the deep well of anger I feel at how her father treated her.
“I’d grown up with a silver spoon in my mouth,” she says, her mouth twisting a little ironically. “I didn’t know what hunger or poverty really was. I was just a dumb twenty year old with no money who’d never had a job.”
“What did you do?” I ask softly.
“I learned fast. People took advantage of me for a bit and then I took advantage of other people for a bit and then I fell in with some decent folk who taught me how to land on my feet. After a while I managed to get a job at a cafe a couple of hours a day and saved up for the worst flat in the world.”
“That’s horrible,” I say. I can imagine her all defiant and angry at the world, lost and hungry and poor. It’s a horrible picture and I want to hug her and tell her that it will never happen again.
A stupid urge considering she’s become the wealthiest person I know recently.
“It’s why I want the money so badly,” she says in a much quieter voice. “There’s a lot of kids out there who go through what I did younger than me and who aren’t lucky enough to end up in a situation where they can make ends meet. I want to make a shelter for any LGBT young person who needs it.”
Silence fills the car again and I swallow hard. It’s such a pure, unselfish reason to want millions and I can tell it’s one hundred percent the truth. She really doesn’t want the money for herself at all.
“When I was ten my mother died,” I say finally and I see her startle a little as though she were expecting me to say nothing in response to her story. “My sister was eighteen and tough as nails. She made sure that I was fed and clothed and that I went to school every day with my homework done.”
I stop for a moment and remember Wendy. She had a hundred freckles and used to let me count the ones on her face when I was a kid. She was the best person I’ve ever known and everyone I am today is down to her. I miss her so much.
“She gave up everything so I could have a good shot at life and when some asshole used a broken condom she raised these two with just as much care. We were poor and hungry a lot of the time but she made sure I never went a day without feeling like I was loved.”
“That’s the most precious thing of all,” Lucille says in a thick voice and I nod in acknowledgement. We both learned that in our own ways.
The car pulls up to a stop light and Lucille stretches her hand out to me in the darkness. I take it and squeeze it lightly and we share a soft look full of everything we’ve said and everything we want to say. I know that she’s sorry about my sister and I know she knows I’m sorry about her dad.
The touch of her hand lingers on my skin after she lets go so we can drive on. This is the most seen I’ve ever felt in my life.
Ten
Lucille
B y the time my brand new car pulls into the drive of Frost Manor it’s very nearly midnight and the children have been asleep for hours. I’m surprised at how easy it was to talk to Sara on the way here. I usually keep my past close to my chest but I’ve told her things that I’ve not even told Rachel in all the years I’ve known her.
I thought that I would spend this weekend being tongue-tied and awkward around my crush, but she’s easy to talk to and sympathetic and I feel that she really listened to what I was saying instead of turning off the moment that it became obvious that my past was tragic. A lot of people do that because they’re scared about feeling something for another person or worried they won’t know what to say.
Sara’s not like that.
I park near the main doors and grimace when I see how many vintage cars, Porsches and Ferraris are parked out front. Most of the family must have driven up this afternoon. It looks like Aunt Adelaide is still being driven everywhere in her 1930’s Cadillac and cousin Marcella has a new Corvette.
Why did I bring Sara and the kids to this pack of vultures? They’re good, decent people and they don’t deserve to be paraded up and down in front of my disapproving family’s eyes. I squeeze Sara’s hand hard before taking a deep breath and stepping out of the car.
Sara wakes the kids gently and I make sure I’m leading the way as we approach the house. It’s bigger than I remember or maybe I’ve gotten used to smaller places in the meantime. Aunt Adelaide’s chauffeur opens the door and welcomes us in with a minimum of fuss.
He’s an old guy with a huge fuzzy mustache and he has the best poker face I’ve ever seen. I feel a little fond thrill at seeing him again and we smile at each other before a shrill voice erupts from the drawing room.
“Is that cousin Lucille at last? How dreadfully late you are, darling!”
Marcella hurries out dressed in some sort of evening gown and has she got her best emeralds on? She does. She’s wearing grandmother’s emeralds to the family Easter meet up as though it’s some sort of red carpet event.
I raise an eyebrow at her and step closer to Sara and the kids who huddle a little behind me. “We had a long drive, cousin.”
“Aren’t you going to introduce us? What a lovely quaint little thing she is! And what absolutely delightful little creatures these two are, how lovely.” She makes a face that seems to be intended to be a smile. “Of co
urse you must join us for a drink, Uncle Denholm is just getting going on the port and you know what wonderful stories he tells.”
“This is Sara and her children, Lucas and Liam.” I am not letting my awful cousin force Sara to stay up and listen to my uncle’s racist stories about the war. “We’re very tired so we’ll be going straight to bed.”
“You can’t possibly!” Marcella raises her voice. “Everyone come see Lucille and tell her that she must come have a drink with us.”
The rest of my family streams out, gripping champagne flutes or port glasses and dressed in clothes that would be more appropriate for Michelin star dining than a family get together. There’s a chorus of voices telling us how much they missed me and want to catch up and I can see that Sara is beginning to buckle under the pressure.
“Thank you all but no,” I say in my firmest voice and I see several cousins take a huge step back. “We are going to get some sleep. We’ll see you all in the morning.”
Before anyone can argue I take the bags and my temporary family and sweep up the stairs. Perhaps years of watching my mother work her haughty magic rubbed off on me after all.
Ten minutes later Sara is getting the boys ready for bed while I survey our room with a sinking feeling of concern. There’s only one bed. I can’t possibly spend a night in a bed with Sara, not when I have feelings for her. It wouldn’t be right.
Just as I’m trying to figure out if we could manage two rooms without the family finding that weird, there’s a knock on the door. I open it to find Aunt Adelaide in one of her signature jumpsuits smiling at me from over her massive tortoiseshell glasses.
“Hello, love,” she says.
“Hi Auntie,” I give her a gentle hug. Of all the people in my family my aunt was always the one who was kindest and the one I’ve remembered most fondly through the years. “Did you have a good trip?”
“I had a splendid time. We ate fifteen donuts! I just wanted to check you got in safely, dearie.”
“I’m just fine, thanks Aunt. We’ll catch up in the morning, okay?”
“Of course, dear. You can introduce me to your nice young lady and her children and I’ll tell them all what kind of flowers would suit them best.” She gives me a big happy smile and totters off down the hall as I wonder not for the first time if she puts on part of the doddery old lady routine to mess with us all.
By the time I get back, Sara has changed and is also staring at the bed with a concerned expression.
“Don’t worry,” I say. “I’ll take the sofa.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I want you to feel comfortable. Also it’s a really soft sofa, you should envy me.”
This makes her laugh and we get settled and say our goodnights. As she drifts off to sleep I lie awake staring at the ceiling and wondering if it should be this soothing and comforting to hear another person’s soft breathing in the room with you.
Chapter # 11
Eleven
Sara
G etting to Lucille’s place took a bit longer than I expected it to, but I’m not complaining one bit. The drive down was nice and less awkward and forced than I thought it would be, though I can’t say the same for when we actually got here.
Holy crap this place is huge. Massive .
Lucille told me about the will beforehand and I knew that she was wealthy, but wealthy and filthy fucking rich are two very different things, and Lucille is filthy fucking rich. Filthy rich and also considerate, letting me have the bed while she slept on the couch last night. This morning has been nice so far and she had warned me beforehand that when we go downstairs for breakfast that we’d need to put on a bit of a show for her family, to really send the point home that we’re a couple. That makes sense to me and I assure her that not only am I up for the challenge, but that we’ll be convincing.
We make our way downstairs and Lucille makes a point of pulling out my chair for me, and then just before she sits down herself she places a soft kiss to my cheek, making me actually blush a little bit. I can feel heat blossoming in my cheeks as I watch her saunter over to her seat and sit down, and I can’t help the smile that spreads on my face as she smirks back at me.
Some of her cousins don’t seem that convinced, but Marcella, Lucille’s snotty cousin, is clearly trying to catch us in some sort of lie, constantly glaring and staring me down and asking very specific questions. I don’t care how long a couple has been together; your girlfriend doesn’t always know exactly who married which cousin twice removed, okay? Besides I’m not worried; I didn’t get the lead part in my high school production of Cinderella for nothing, I know how to play a part and make it convincing.
To be fair I can’t really blame her family for being skeptical, after all. We did show up with very short notice to announce our relationship, and it’s reasonable to be critical of someone that maybe they hadn’t heard of before. Still though, there’s a difference between being cautious and critical and downright rude and bitchy, and Marcella is being the latter.
Lucille’s Aunt Adelaide is being quite nice however, and even offers to take the boys outside to play in the gardens.
“Oh, that would be great Aunt Adelaide,” Lucille says with a smile, nodding, “Thank you so much.”
The boys excitedly get up, smiling ear to ear as they follow her outside, laughing and babbling the whole way. As soon as they’re out of earshot though, Marcella leans over the table with a snide little smirk and her lips pursed together, looking me up and down.
“So Sara, tell me about your family. What kind of people are they? Do you think that they’d fit in well here, or are they not really that kind of crowd? You just… don’t seem like us.”
Okay, that hurts, and while I know she’s just doing it to get under my skin, I can’t help but feel like maybe it’s a little bit true. Having said that, I’m not about to let her crack me and ruin things for Lucille.
I turn my gaze to Marcella and do my best not to scowl at her, instead settling for a polite smile and a shrug of my shoulders. I open my mouth to say something about my family, but before I can Lucille jumps in, glaring at her cousin.
“Sara and her family are both wonderful people, and you need to back off.”
Her cousin immediately backs off and though she rolls her eyes with a quiet scoff, I can tell that Lucille set her straight enough for now that she isn’t going to bring it up again, at least not right away.
She reaches over and squeezes my hand reassuringly and smiles at me, and I’d be lying if I said that smile didn’t do something to me. There’s just something about the way that she looks at me and gets in her cousin’s face to defend my honor that sends a wave of heat through me. How is it possible to be so attracted to someone, and by something so tame? I can feel myself blushing and Lucille gives me a funny look, almost as if she’s asking me if I’m alright.
“If you’ll excuse me,” I say politely and with a smile, “I’m just going to run upstairs and grab a book.”
I leave the table and then I head upstairs, going back into Lucille’s bedroom and I shut the door behind me, breathing a sigh of relief. I had to get out of there; otherwise I felt like I might have combusted and said something inappropriate. And I couldn’t stop looking at her! My God, she makes me feel such an intense level of want and need that I’ve never felt from anyone before, and I just don’t know how to hide it anymore.
And as if on cue, Lucille comes walking into the bedroom with a smirk, shrugging her shoulders.
“Are you alright, Sara? You left in an awful rush.”
Don’t say something stupid.
“Damnit Lucille, I just want you so bad and I didn’t know what to do anymore sitting at that table.”
Oh, good, that went well; so much for not saying anything stupid.
“It’s not just today; every time you do your demonstrations I just… Fuck me, I feel like I can’t think about anything else except submitting to you. I’ve always wanted to, you know.”
I bite my lip with a sigh and walk over to her, cheeks flushed and heart racing in my chest as she closes the gap between us.
“Really?”
“Really.”
My voice is breathless and I hardly recognize myself, and I can’t help the way that I look her up and down, drinking in her form.
“Well then.” She purrs, shrugging. “No time like the present. Are you sure? Because I’m not going to do this unless I know that you really want it.”
I blush even further, nodding with a needy sigh.
“Please? I want it. I want you .”
She smirks then and cocks her brow at me, walking back towards the door to lock it behind her. And when I hear that tell-tale click of the lock, I know that things are about to get a hell of a lot more interesting.
All in all, this trip is going much better than anticipated.
Twelve
Lucille
I lock the door and turn to face Sara. I feel jolts of lust radiating through me as I look over her. She’s so beautiful, and I’m going to make sure she never forgets this.
I slowly walk over to her. Her chest heaves in anticipation of what I’m about to do.
I’m much taller than her, so she has to look up at me. She looks so innocent with her big brown eyes and curly hair. I start to smile as I think about how that innocence will look once I have her how I want her.
I reach behind her head and wrap my fingers in her hair. I pull her head back so her neck is exposed to me. I trail my fingertips down her soft, slender neck.
“Don’t be afraid to tell me if it gets to be too much,” I tell her. I want to ravish her right now, but it’s always best to make sure everyone will be having fun.
“Yes, ma’am,” she says with a grin.
Ma’am. I like it when she calls me that.
I push her down onto the bed and get on top of her. I kiss her hard. She responds with equal need. It feels so good to finally be kissing her.