I lower the volume on the TV and check my watch. “I’ll be up with a bottle.”
“Thank you.”
Lena grins at me from the kitchen as I heat the water, pour in the formula, and shake it up.
“What?” I ask as I examine the consistency through the glass bottle.
“Just remembering that conversation we had months ago before you went to Russia.”
“Oh, yeah?” I raise an eyebrow. “Which one?”
“The one where you said you weren’t the happily-ever-after guy.” Her hand sweeps over me from head to toe. “Ta-da. Happily ever after.”
“I’m trying,” I admit as I give the bottle a few more shakes.
“I heard you down here with the baby last night. Seems like you’re doing pretty well.”
I chuckle and shrug. “I’ve always been a light sleeper. Getting up with him isn’t a big deal.”
Lena’s smile is kind as she turns back to the dishes. “Maybe not. But those little things make a relationship stronger.”
Silence fills the room for a beat as I shake the bottle. Relationship advice from her seems apt and odd at the same time. “Carys and I were talking about asking you to come with us to Cape Verde.” I palm the bottle, letting the warmth of the formula seep into my fingers through the glass.
“Is that an invitation?”
“If you’re willing to cut off her dickhead father, we promise you’ll always have a home and a job with us.” Hard to believe she shackled herself to that deadbeat.
She wipes the counter and doesn’t meet my gaze. “Even if Carys had been my child, I can’t imagine loving her more. If cutting off Charles is the only way I get to stay in her life and see Lucas grow up, then consider it done.”
I point and narrow my eyes. “I knew I liked you.”
She laughs. “You’d better get the bottle upstairs. Lucas has a strong internal clock.”
I rotate the glass from one hand to the other and head for the stairs. I take them two at a time and go into the master suite. A bassinet sits in an alcove in our bedroom. Nothing fancy, but we’re not sticking around here forever. This place is temporary, but what’s between the three of us is permanent. Someday this kid will call me Dad. I intend to earn that name, unlike my father.
Carys is rocking him, and when I enter, she looks up. Her blonde hair is loose along her shoulders, and while she appears as tired as I feel, she’s still the most gorgeous woman in the world. She takes the bottle and angles it into Lucas’s mouth.
“Lena’s coming to Cape Verde.”
Carys’s whole face brightens. “You asked her?” Her brow furrows. “She didn’t buck at cutting off my dad?”
“Didn’t even hesitate.” I lean against the dresser closest to her. “She loves you like a daughter.”
When Carys glances up at me from watching the baby, her eyes are shining with tears. “Really? She said that?”
“Yeah, she did.”
Her turns her face to the ceiling and sniffs. “I’m so stupidly happy right now. I never thought I’d get these baby years—get to see a person change day by day, each day making him more mine.” Her laugh is shaky. “It’s coming together.”
“It is.” The gnawing in my stomach surfaces.
“Have you talked to Hagen? Did he have any idea if it was Demid’s men who killed Eric in Russia?”
I shake my head. “I’m going to let it drop.”
She frowns. “Someday Lucas will probably want to know what happened.”
My gaze doesn’t waver from hers. “Then we’ll tell him the truth. Eric messed with the wrong people and paid the highest consequence. It’s a good lesson not to fuck around with people more powerful than you.”
“So we’re going to assume it was Demid?”
“We’re in a good place right now. Do you want to take a chance we’ll ruin it with too many questions?”
With a shake of her head, she says, “No, you’re right. We’re safe and we’re happy. Part of me thought we might never get to be both.”
If my conscience was louder, I might long to tell her the truth. Whether or not I shot the bullets in Eric, he was a dead man out there. Really, I did him a favor by putting him out of his misery. Perhaps the gnawing sense of dread that keeps reoccurring might be my conscience, worried she won’t understand if she finds out. Unlike with my mother’s murder, the only person who can reveal the truth to her is me. So I suppose it’ll stay a secret forever.
“You’re caught up in your thoughts,” she says with a smile. “Anything you want to tell me?”
“No,” I say. “Just thinking about how good it’ll be when you’re back from Chicago and we can focus on what comes next.”
She smiles as she tilts the bottle higher for Lucas. “Me too. One week, and then we’re free.”
He drains the bottle, and she puts it beside her to position him to be burped. “I thought I might be worried about leaving Lucas. He changes so much—something new every day. I’ll miss that. I will. But you’re so good with him.” She stares at me, her features softened with love for me. “I can’t believe how good you are with him.”
With my index finger, I rub the top of the wooden dresser and don’t meet her gaze. “With my old life, I wouldn’t have been a good father—too much danger, too much violence, too much hate in me.” I stare at the crisp whiteness of the dresser. “But we’re building something I never knew I wanted, never considered possible.” My voice becomes rough, and I clear my throat. “For the first time, my soul is at peace.”
She adjusts Lucas and comes to me. She circles her free arm around my waist and settles herself under my arm. “Mine too.” With a contented sigh, she rests her cheek against my chest, so close to my heart it’s like they’re one unit. “Mine too.”
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Carys
Being in the office again is strange. Familiar and foreign at the same time. My father has been roaming around, but I’ve avoided speaking to him whenever possible. He doesn’t have a place in my life anymore. Anytime he tried to make a personal comment about Finn or Lucas, I shut him out. We’re not friends, and we’re barely a family.
I thought my mother might stop in to see me since she and my father are living together again. Lilly gave me the gossip about them when I checked in with her at Reception this week.
My phone rings, and I glance at the call display. I break out in a grin as I prop it up and accept the FaceTime request. Finn and Lucas pop up on the screen. He has him supported with pillows, so it looks like they’re sitting side by side.
“Happy Friday.” He smirks and checks his watch. “What, maybe four more hours until you achieve freedom from that place?”
“Yes! We sign the papers at 4:30 today to turn everything back over to my father and whoever he’s nominating as my replacement. I’ve been giving Daniel and Eliza the rundown on the accounts, procedures, and so forth so at least two people can keep this place running smoothly.” I scan Finn’s face, wishing I could be there in person. Only a few more hours. “My father has been putting his hands on every file, making comments about the changes I’ve made since he left.”
“He can grumble all he likes. His opinion about anything doesn’t fucking matter anymore.”
I wince.
“I mean.” Finn glances at Lucas. “Doesn’t freaking matter anymore.”
“One way or another, his first word will start with an F.”
A knock sounds on my office door. “I’m on the red-eye back tonight. I gotta go. I can’t wait until I’m close enough to touch you.”
His gaze heats, searing me even through the phone. “You can touch me anywhere you want. I won’t mind.”
My thighs clench together at the thought, and another tap on my door draws my attention away from the two faces on my phone. “I love you! I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“We love you too.” His voice is gruff when he says those words, as though they’re rusty from ill use.
My heart stutters when I hear them
from him. I’m the only person he’s ever said them to, and he’d do anything to ensure my happiness.
With one last searching glance at the two of them, I end the call.
“Come in.” I straighten in my desk chair and try to appear as though I’ve been focusing on file folders instead of staring at the faces I love the most in the world.
Lilly’s long brown hair is the first thing I see before her round, brown face pops in the door. “I tried to call you from downstairs, but the internal phone lines seem to be down.”
I frown and pick up the receiver next to me. Sure enough, there’s no dial tone. “Did you contact someone to fix it?”
“Just before I came up, yeah.”
“Do you need something?” I rest my forearms on the table.
“A time-sensitive package arrived for you downstairs. The courier was very insistent that you got it before four-thirty.” She laughs as she hefts the box from between her feet. “I guess someone really wants to say goodbye to you or thank you or something before you leave here.”
I’ve been receiving gifts all week from former clients, current associates, or just people I’ve met in passing over the years who heard I was leaving the company for good. Most of the people who knew my father had a variation of what took you so long in their message. That’s the thing about family, though. It’s hard to see their true colors sometimes. Or maybe we don’t want to see them. The blinders are off where he’s concerned. I have no regrets about leaving this behind.
“You can put it on the couch.” I nod in the direction of the large cream sofa against the back wall. “Can you send Daniel and Eliza back in? I have a few other things to cover before we run out of time. I’m not sticking around any longer than four-thirty.”
She struggles to get the box into her arms and then waddles over to set it on the couch.
“Return address?”
Lilly checks and frowns. “Nothing obvious. But they used a courier, so I’m sure I can track whoever sent it.”
I shake my head. “No, if they used a courier it’s probably Blake or Brooke Belamy. I haven’t heard from them since I got back in the city. It would be like them to send something weighty and ridiculous at the last minute.” A present for the baby, maybe? They had kids.
A smile floats across Lilly’s face. “Yeah, they always liked you.” She glances at me. “We all did. You’ve been a good boss.”
I tip my head at her and return her smile. “Thank you. That means a lot. I’m sure the company will be fine without me, though.”
“I always thought if you left, it would be Eric who took over.” She crosses her arms and shifts on her feet. “I was sorry to hear he died. Though, he always made me a bit uncomfortable.”
I run my fingers along my temple. “I’m sorry to hear that.” What else can I say? I’m leaving, and he’s dead. Had I known he was awful to everyone I might have done something. She’s not the first one to tell me the truth now that he’s gone. I’d like to believe I would have acted swiftly. I’ll never know for sure. “I’m hoping my father picks Daniel or Eliza to take over. As of the end of business today, it’ll no longer be up to me or any of my concern.”
“The whole company will be someone else’s problem.”
“Exactly. Though, responsibility might be a better word.” I smile. There have been a lot of good years for me here, in this building, with these people. I might not regret my choice, but I’ll miss some of them.
“I’ll send Daniel and Eliza in. If you need anything, I’ll be at reception.”
“I’ll send my secretary if I have any urgent messages.”
Lilly backs out the door and closes it behind her. I’m tempted to tell her to leave it open, but it might take her a couple of minutes to find our colleagues.
Rising from my chair, I circle the desk and go over to the box. Brook and Blake enjoy a bit of flair, so it’s odd the box is standard cardboard. Still, I waited until I arrived in Chicago to announce my break from the company was actually a breakup. Might have taken a few days for the news to reach them. I finger the seal and consider opening it. A knock at the door draws my attention, and I step back. “Come in.”
Eliza enters with Daniel on her heels.
“Oh,” she says, spotting the box. “Another admirer?”
I laugh. “Not sure. I’ll open it later. I have a few things to go over on these files I just pulled.”
“Boardroom?” Daniel asks.
“That works,” I agree. “We can spread it out a bit better so I can show you the account progressions and inconsistencies.” Crossing back to my desk, I gather up the stack of paper files.
Daniel leads the three of us out of the office and along the hall to the boardroom. As I close the door, my gaze strays to the box one more time.
~ * ~
When I return to my office, it’s almost four o’clock. As soon as I open my door, the package greets me on the couch where I left it. With a frown, I try to lift it, but it’s heavy. Once my grip is adjusted, I get it into my arms and around to my desk. For a moment, I check over the box to see if I missed an address or a company name somewhere. Blank, apart from my office suite scrawled in black Sharpie.
In my drawers, I find a dull knife to slit open the packing tape. With a few quick movements, I slice through the points where the brown tape is keeping the contents secure. I yank up the four pieces of thick cardboard covering my surprise.
I furrow my brow, and then my eyes go wide. Inside is a large black device with a running clock that looks a hell of a lot like a bomb. My breath catches. The countdown is less than a minute and winding down too quickly. Too fucking quickly.
I can’t watch it, and I can’t seem to stop staring at the numbers running down. So fast. Too fast.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
There isn’t enough time to evacuate the building. No time to call Finn. Oh, God.
Finn.
I shove my thoughts of him out of my head. A solution. Anything. Something. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening.
Opening my desk drawers, I scan for a tool I can use to cut wires. The knife. The knife I used to open the box. Where did I put it? An agonized cry escapes me as I throw things around my desk.
My heart booms in my chest, overwhelming my ears so much I almost don’t hear the beep from the box.
My chest tightens, and I peek over the thick cardboard edge, half-afraid, half-curious.
Time’s Up. The words flash across the screen in place of the timer. There’s a loud click, and I rear back but nothing happens. No explosion.
I run my hands along my body. Nothing happened. I’m okay. A joyous laugh escapes me. It’s a dud. It’s a fucking dud.
Then a second click sounds from the box and the whole thing explodes. I scream and clutch my chest, falling back into my chair as confetti falls like rain. The colorful tornado spins and swirls to the ground.
It was a joke. I’m okay. It wasn’t a bomb. I’m okay.
My brain ticks through these realizations even as my desk chair rocks back and forth and confetti flutters around me, blanketing my office. Though the black machine wasn’t a bomb, it exploded. Whoever did this wanted me to think it was a bomb. They wanted me to sweat.
“Carys?” My secretary calls from outside the door. “Are you okay?”
“Yes!” I call, staring at the chaos of my office. I cover my face with my hands and ease my fingertips over my brows. My heart rate is returning to normal.
There’s a brisk knock.
Looking around, I take a deep breath and let it out. “Come in.”
The door opens, and two men and a woman dressed in dark suits file in. Before they have time to say anything, Lilly appears in the open doorway, panting. The internal phone lines are still broken.
“Carys,” she says. “The FBI are here.”
“Carys Van de Berg, you’re under arrest—” The lead suit continues to drone on about my rights as he flashes identification in my face. But I can’t
seem to snap into focus. Surreal. The scene is surreal, like a nightmare.
The second suit removes a piece of paper from his jacket pocket and places it on my desk. An excited buzz starts outside my door.
“What’s this?” I ask, my brain sluggish.
“A search warrant for the premises. We already have agents on every floor.”
“What is it—” I stare at him for a moment. “What is it I’m accused of doing?”
“In short? Conspiring with a terrorist organization. We’ll get into the specifics in a secure location.” The suit comes around my desk and puts his hand on my arm. “We’d like you to come with us.”
“Do I have a choice?”
A hint of a smile flickers across his face. “Just about whether we use handcuffs.”
I grab my purse and snatch my phone off my desk.
“Those things need to stay here. They’re part of the warrant,” he says.
I drop them on my desk. Hopefully, my lawyer can sort through this bullshit so I can get back to Finn and Lucas sooner rather than later.
“Looks like you were celebrating early.” He indicates the papery mess while he escorts me out of my office.
My heels crunch across the confetti as I make my way to the door. It’s 4:32. I should be signing papers, freeing myself from this place, from whatever will drag me under.
“I guess it’ll have to wait a little while,” I say when we get to the door.
The agent gestures for me to lead our exit out the door. “More like a few years,” he mutters.
His comment gets my attention, narrows my focus. Whatever has led them here, they think they already know something, have evidence to get a conviction. Ice shoots through my veins, and my hand strays to my braid, tucking in a strand.
“I want my lawyer.”
I don’t say another word until Sook, my lawyer, is sitting across from me.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Finn
When the phone beside my bed rings, I answer it before the noise wakes Lucas. He’s not sleeping well without his mother here, but I sure as hell didn’t tell her that. She would have been on the first plane back without freeing herself from her anchor of a father.
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