by Ellie Wade
“Very true.”
After dinner, Leni and I do the dishes and clean up the kitchen before heading outside to the porch swing. There’s a full moon casting a light glow over the ground tonight. The symphony of chirping frogs and the buzzing insects is noisier than usual. The boisterous cadence of the wildlife paired with a full belly lulls me into relaxation. Holding Leni’s hand, I rest my head against hers.
“I never thought I’d be here,” Leni states quietly.
“What do you mean?” I question with a smile.
“Living here, being with you, working on the ranch, swinging on a porch swing—all of it. You know?”
“Is ‘all of it’ a good thing?”
“Yeah, it is. It’s just different.”
“Do you miss New York?”
“You know, I thought I would miss it more.” She chuckles. “Leaving was my dream for as long as I can remember, but the reality of it wasn’t what I’d thought it would be. I’m happier now than I ever was in New York. Isn’t that weird?”
“Not really,” I scoff.
“I just wish I didn’t have a slow learning curve,” she states, absentmindedly tracing circles against my thigh.
“How’s that?”
“It’s taken me such a long time to find myself. It’s like New York was a waste. I distanced myself from Texas to find happiness, but I didn’t. I found massive student loan debt, shallow friendships, and no real growth. I mean, I returned every bit as broken as I was when I’d left.”
“Yeah, but maybe you needed to experience a life away so that, when you returned, you could be open for growth and not always wondering about the what-ifs because you already know. You did everything you’d set out to do, and through those experiences, you realized that it wasn’t what you needed. Plus, an education is never a waste. You’re an amazing artist, Len, and a lot of your talent was learned in the city.”
“I suppose you’re right.”
“I know I’m right. New York was part of your journey, and it led you back here.”
“True.”
I thread my fingers through Leni’s and hold her hand as we rock.
My body tingles, and my desire pulsates through my veins as Leni’s lips move against mine. I could make a career of this, spending the rest of my days lost in her lips, and I’d be completely happy. I muster all my willpower, and I pull away.
My eyes remain closed for a moment after the kiss has stopped, and I get my bearings. When I open them, I see her—my Leni girl. Her hooded eyes and lust-filled expression tell me that our kisses affect her in the same way they do me.
I clear my throat. “I have to get back to work,” I say with little motivation behind my words.
“No. Stay here and kiss me.”
She splays her hands across my chest, and I groan because my need for her has reached the point of uncomfortable.
“I can’t, Len,” I say, readjusting my jeans. I nod toward the window and the ranch beyond. “I have … stuff … to do.” My hormone-muddled brain is barely able to make much sense of anything right now.
“Stuff?” she questions, raising an eyebrow. “Stuff doesn’t sound too important. Stay with me. I need you,” she pleads.
Hearing her say those last three words almost makes me comply. Yet I can’t. We’re not teenagers anymore, and mortgages aren’t paid with kisses.
I shake my head. “You have work, and so do I.” I motion to the pile of paperwork on the desk of my office.
I’m not sure exactly what it is, but Leni was intently going through it when I stopped by to see her a few minutes ago.
“My work can wait.” She shrugs with a cheesy grin.
“Well, mine can’t.” I chuckle and lightly kiss her on the forehead before stepping back. “I’ll see you in a little bit.”
“Okay.” She nods. “My lips will miss yours while you’re gone.”
“All of me will miss all of you.”
I leave my office and walk out to my truck with a huge grin on my face.
The past few weeks with Leni have been nothing short of awesome. We’ve fallen into a comfortable routine. She works on ranch stuff for about half of the day and paints in her studio the other half. I visit her at both places when I can, and our lips get lost in one another. In fact, a lot of our time together is spent kissing. I just can’t get enough of her.
The two of us always eat dinner with Mimi, and a few times a week, my parents join us. I think Mrs. Turner loves having the extra people around to feed. My parents love the time to see me. With ranch commitments and Leni, I haven’t seen them as much lately.
Our evenings are spent walking around the open land, hand in hand, or tucked away in my makeshift bedroom in the barn, making out like crazed teenagers. If there were an Olympic medal for restraint, I would win gold, hands down.
I want Leni more than I want my next breath, but I haven’t let it go all the way—yet. For some reason, I can’t. I suppose, given our history, I’m just waiting for the ball to drop. I know I shouldn’t be, but this girl has broken my heart several times before, and that isn’t something I can forget. If I had Leni in every way possible, if I felt what it was like to be inside her, and then she ran, I don’t know how I’d recover from that.
I know I’m being an idiot. The girl of my dreams, the one I’ve loved since I was young, is begging me to have sex with her on a daily basis, and I refuse. I’m not a prude when it comes to sex either. I barely knew the names of some of the girls I was with in college, yet that didn’t stop me from screwing them. But Leni isn’t just some girl; she’s the girl. For me, she always has been, and the instant her beautiful greens, wide and surprised, greeted me in front of my truck a few months back, I knew she’d be mine. I just need her to know it, too.
She’s still whispering dreams of leaving and making it out in the world. I want her to realize that she’s my world, and it’s crucial that I’m hers as well. I can’t leave the ranch. This is what I’m meant to do with my life. Leni is meant to be an artist, no doubt. But she can be one here. She can have a beautiful life here. She needs to stop chasing happiness and just live in it.
“Oh my gosh!” Leni squeals, her eyes bright with excitement. “I haven’t been here since …” Her voice trails off as we both undoubtedly think of the last time Leni came to the river.
“Since you were thirteen,” I answer for her, remembering everything about that day.
“Yeah.” She nods. “Not a great memory, huh?”
“Don’t sweat it. It was a long time ago. We’re different people now. Plus, that wasn’t the last time you stormed off on me. I kind of got used to it.” I smile, nudging her in the side.
She turns to face me. “You kept coming back, every summer, multiple times. It was like you couldn’t take a hint,” she teases before her words ring more serious. “Why didn’t you give up on me? I was so horrible to you.”
“I could never give up on you. You were the answer to my dreams before I even knew to dream them. You were my favorite person in the world, and I just hoped that, if I tried hard enough, you’d come back to me.”
“And I did,” she says softly.
“Did you? Are you mine, Leni?” My voice lowers as I swipe a lock of her hair behind her ear and step in closer.
Her body leans in as her green eyes stare into mine. “I am.”
My heart beats loudly at her words, and hope fills my chest. I want to believe her; I do. I wish I weren’t waiting for something to go wrong, for the inevitable end … but I am. Loving a girl like Leni over the years has given me some trust issues—at least, with her.
“I know we’ve only been dating for a few weeks, but I’ve known and loved you most of my life. I understand why I acted the way I did. I’m not the same person I was when I got here. I’m not the same girl I was in New York. I’m not the same girl I was when we were young. I’m not going to hurt you, Liam.”
She wraps her arms around my neck, and we pull each other into an embrace.
“You are so gorgeous,” I say before pressing my fingers against her waist and pulling her into a kiss. Reluctantly, I release her and reach down to the bag I brought, pulling out some sunscreen. “Would you like me to get your back?” I ask, holding up the bottle of SPF lotion.
“You even remembered sunscreen?” She shakes her head with a grin.
I shrug in acknowledgment. “I know that your shoulders burn easily.”
Leni holds my stare with hers. She bites her lip and studies me, a thoughtful expression crossing her features. “You’re too good, Liam.”
She turns away from me and grabs her hair, pulling it to the side. After squirting some of the lotion in my hand, I rub it into her skin, my hands gliding over her back.
“Is ‘too good’ a compliment?” I drag my palms over her shoulders and down her arms.
She nods. “Absolutely.”
“All right, then I’ll take it.” I pop the cap back onto the lotion and drop it into my bag.
We make our way to the old oak tree at the bank of the river. The rope that we used to swing from still hangs from a long branch.
“Are you sure this is safe?” Leni asks. “This rope has been here forever.” She skeptically eyes it.
I give it a couple of hard tugs. “Completely safe. Want to wager a bet for old times’ sake? See who can go further?” I ask, raising an eyebrow.
Leni’s eyes light up, and she bites her lip with a nod of her head. “Hmm,” she says, pressing her index finger against her lips. “I think we should. But what should it be?”
“Well, I think we’ve outgrown our wagers of the past.” I chuckle, thinking back to some of the things we used to bet. I no longer have any interest in making Leni clean out a horse stall or have her give me the rest of her pack of gum.
“Definitely.” She giggles before turning more serious. “But there is something I want that you aren’t giving me.”
Tingles run up my spine at the thought of being inside Leni. “You’re going there?”
She nods. “Yep,” she answers, making a popping sound at the end of the word.
“Okay, if I go further … you stay in Texas.” I lay it all on the line.
“Liam,” she sighs. The tone of her voice causes my hopes to plummet.
“Forget it.” I wave my hand and smile. “Um … if I win, you buy me some gum—and not just any kind. Big League Chew.”
“Oh my gosh! I haven’t seen a pack of Big League Chew in years!” she exclaims. “I forgot all about our obsession with it. Do they still make it?”
I shrug. “Honestly, I’m not sure. But they have to, right?”
“I hope so. Though it’s not going to matter since I’m going to beat you anyway.” She shoots me a wink and reaches out her hand. “It’s a deal then.”
“It’s a deal.” I shake her hand.
I plant a quick kiss on her lips before jogging back a few feet and running toward the rope. I grab hold and swing in the air before releasing when the rope is at its highest point. When I surface from the water, I see Leni catch the rope. After ensuring that it stays still, she copies my previous movements and swings through the air with a shriek.
She rises from the water, a couple of feet in front of me. She’s grinning wide as she swims a few strokes toward me and throws her arms around my neck. “So not fair,” she protests.
“Oh, it’s fair,” I say as she circles her legs around my waist. “When we get back, you’d better start your search for my gum.”
“You’ll get your gum,” she promises before her lips find mine.
We have just as much fun swimming in the river as we did when we were kids. Except, now, I can kiss her, and that makes it a hundred times better. And, if I ignore the nagging voice in my head, reminding me that she still wants to leave, I could say that I’ve never been happier.
Leni and I lie on our towels on the bank of the river, staring up through the leaves of a tree. The bright blue sky peeks through the swaying branches.
I sit up. “I have a surprise for you.”
She crosses her legs and faces me. “What?” she asks eagerly.
“Well, I’ve been making some calls to a few friends from college. One of my friends knows the owner of an art gallery in downtown Austin.”
Leni sits up straighter, her eyes going big. “Yeah?”
“So, I contacted the owner, Frank, and told him about your work. I sent him a few photos. He’d like to meet with you.”
“You’re lying! No way! What? When? Seriously?” she shrieks.
I throw my head back in laughter. “Seriously,” I say through a grin. “I have his information back at the house. I’ll give it to you when we go back. I’m not sure what will come of it, but it could be good, right?”
“Yes!” Pure joy radiates from Leni as tears roll down her cheeks. “It could be great!” She shakes her head. “I can’t believe you did something like this for me. You’re too good to me. This is so amazing. I just can’t …” She chokes on her words.
I lean in and swipe my thumb across her cheek. “I would do anything for you. I love you, Len.”
“I love you, too,” she says. “I don’t deserve you, but I love you.”
“You deserve everything. I’d give you the whole fucking world if I could,” I tell her.
If only I could give her the world, then maybe she’d stay.
nineteen
Leni
I can barely breathe as I look around the beautifully lit space. This studio is simply gorgeous, and I’d be lying if I said that my framed pieces didn’t make it even better.
Thanks to Liam’s connection, I met with Frank a month ago with my portfolio in hand and my heart on my sleeve. I tried to play it cool, as if meeting with art gallery owners were a normal occurrence in my life. Thankfully, Frank made me feel so comfortable, and he truly loved my Texas-themed canvases, stating that he thought there was a huge market for them. I held in tears when he offered me my own show. Standing here now, with my work on the walls, I still can barely believe that it’s real.
“I’m so proud of you, Leni girl,” Mimi says beside me.
“Thank you for being here, Mimi.”
“I wouldn’t have missed it for the world, my girl. These are some of your best pieces to date, I do believe.” Mimi nods her head in approval as she scans the room.
“I think so, too,” I agree. “I guess Texas isn’t all bad. Apparently, it makes for some great inspiration.”
“Oh, my girl, you’ll get there.” She pats me on the back. “You’ll get there.”
I’m about to ask her about her meaning when Frank joins us.
“It’s showtime,” he tells me. “Are you ready?”
“Yes!” I’ve been waiting for this moment my entire life. My own show!
Frank heads to the front of the studio to open the doors. Liam appears and hands me a glass of wine.
“Thank you,” I tell him as I take him in. I can’t decide if he’s more attractive in his Wranglers or the black suit he’s wearing. “Gosh, you clean up nice. You are hot,” I say before blushing when I realize that Mimi is still standing beside me.
“I’m going to walk around,” Mimi says with a grin.
I can’t help but laugh.
“And you look beautiful, as always.” Liam softly kisses me. “I’m proud of you.”
“Thank you,” I tell him for probably the hundredth time.
“Knock ’em dead, baby.” He squeezes my free hand before leaving my side.
I make my way toward the people now entering the studio.
I greet the guests as they come in. I thoug
ht I’d be more nervous than I am. Everyone is so nice and interested in hearing about my art, inspirations, and techniques. Turns out, it’s really easy to talk about my own pieces. I know they’re good, and I just feel proud.
“Oh, sugar, we need this one for the baby’s room,” a woman says in a thick Texan accent.
I walk over to her and her husband as they stand in front of the canvas that I named Hope.
“I love this one, too,” I say to them.
It’s one of the few non-landscape pieces that I have in the show. It’s a close-up of the new calf’s face with emphasis on her soft nose and deep brown eyes. Baby cows are one of the cutest animals in the world. It was fun to paint her.
“Oh, it’s just darling. Are you the artist, dear?” the woman asks.
“I am.”
“Such a fantastic job. Do you have any others of baby animals? A horse or a piglet?” she asks.
“My wife is obsessed with decorating the nursery with baby farm animals,” the husband tells me with a chuckle, nodding toward her belly.
My eyes drop to the round belly that the woman has her hand on. “I don’t, but I could paint some.”
“Oh, I’d love that. We will definitely be getting this one, and I’d like to hire you to paint some more, if that’s okay.” She looks toward her husband. “Oh, sugar, I also want the one with the barn and the sunset over there. It will look great above our mantel. Go buy them before someone else does. Thank you, baby.”
She takes my business card, and I take hers, promising to touch base this week about the other paintings she wants. The feeling is surreal. Someone is commissioning my work. It’s unreal.
The night flies by in a blur. I talk so much that I feel like I’m about to lose my voice, and I’ve never felt happier. Frank is a true genius. He marketed the event so well, and traffic has been amazing the entire night.
“That, Leni, is what we call a success,” he says with a grin after he closes the doors behind the last guests.
“Oh my gosh. It was, wasn’t it?” I clap my hands together.
“We sold every piece.” He smiles wide.