by Deb Lee
Her eyes cut away from his and she stared at his extended hand.
“Why not? It’s just a dance between colleagues.”
Colleagues? Is that how he wanted to describe it?
The way pressing against him on that motorcycle made her feel, she didn’t think being in his arms was such a great idea.
He added a raised eyebrow to the smile. “One dance, Sophie. Please.”
Oh, his compelling, Caribbean eyes. Sophie bit her bottom lip. “I don’t know. I wouldn’t want you to be caught dancing with stupid and all,” she said, referencing the gawd-awful shirt from earlier.
“Let’s just say I’m a pretty good judge of character, and stupid you are not. Or”—he grinned mischievously—“we could discuss your need to season your purse with salt and pepper.”
Sophie’s jaw dropped. Literally.
Ryan took her hand, leading her to the dance floor. He leaned in and whispered, “Just one dance. For the kids.”
“The kids?”
He nodded toward Donovan who sat at the bar with another gentleman. Donovan glanced over and feigned wiping a tear from his cheek as if they were part of a reality show. He caressed a half-empty daiquiri, complete with a drink umbrella for her loot.
“So, you doing okay?” he asked softly, releasing her long enough to gently tuck a loose tendril behind her ear.
His hand in hers made her quake, but she wanted to laugh. Okay? Sure. If you call humiliation followed by a shameful ritual that caused more pain than it relieved, then sure, yeah. “I’m okay,” she said.
Sophie closed her eyes. What are you doing? His familiar smell, touch, hold. It took her back to their days of watching meteorite showers and finding constellations, and the star he named after her. And then the jagged knife to the heart when he left her.
Careful not to delve too deeply into that moment, a moment where the thought alone made her stomach churn, she hurtled herself back to Earth. To the present where there were no painful memories of stargazing and intimacy. This was just a dance and he was still Ryan Pike, the nice guy who chose a career over her.
They stepped onto the dance floor, and he pulled her into his arms.
“You’re not talking.”
She pursed her lips.
“Hey.” His fingers curled under her chin. “Talk to me. Are you okay?”
His touch sent a wave of chills down her spine, like a warning signal. Dancing was one thing. It was safe. People did it all the time. But the way he wrapped his fingers around her chin felt too intimate, too sensual. What was he trying to do? And did she want him to do it?
No. Maybe. She wrapped a hand around his, pulling it from her face, not sure she could trust herself. “I’m good. I think I’m just tired.”
Ryan took the hint, but instead of releasing her, he pulled her tighter. “I have an idea,” he offered, changing the subject. “Later tonight there’s a luau on the Lido Deck I was going to check out. I hear a world-renowned chef prepares the food. Maybe some fresh air will help—”
“All right, you guys.” The DJ’s game show voice cracked through the microphone and his white tux with a white bowtie more than qualified him as the cheesy announcer for a cheesy game. “This just in. For those of you participating in the cruise’s fifth annual scavenger hunt, we have an extra bonus tonight only!” His voice carried the words like he was singing. “Our captain just announced a very special walkie-talkie is hidden somewhere on this ship and he will be on the other end to tell one lucky participant the location to a valuable triple-bonus find!”
Sophie’s heart flipped, and her grip on Ryan’s shirt tightened. If five grand weren’t the pot, she’d have laughed at the other passengers who hung on his every word.
“The clues to the location are as follows: Follow the trail that leads to fun, where liquid flows and stars bask in the sun.”
Sophie’s attention whipped back to Ryan, whose eyes locked on hers. His lips tugged at one side, hinting at his striking smile. “Well, looks like the crowd just thinned out a bit.”
Sophie watched as no less than a dozen bodies scrambled for the exit. One head ducked out so fast, Sophie almost missed it. But his sandy-colored head and obnoxious tuxedo gave Asher away.
Being riddles were his unspoken language, she knew if she had a chance at beating him, she’d have to let him lead her to the find.
“I have to go,” Sophie said, releasing her grip on Ryan’s shirt.
Ryan squeezed her hand. “You want to follow that crowd while they run over each other?”
“I’m supposed to meet Amy but she never showed. I’m going to look for her.”
Ryan dropped his hand, and a twinge of something swelled up in her. Dancing with him felt better than she cared to admit. But she had to try to find this stupid walkie-talkie. For the girls. “I’m sorry. Thank you for the dance.” She turned on her heel and hugged her purse tightly to her side. Heading toward the exit, she stopped in front of the freshly lacquered bar where Donovan sat perched on a stool. “Thank you,” she said.
“For what?” he asked, his voice three octaves higher than usual, even for him.
“For this.” She plucked the umbrella from his fruity cocktail. Turning toward Ryan, she watched his brows lift in confusion. Then she stuffed the umbrella in her purse and rushed out of the room to find Asher.
~ ~ ~
Asher was long gone, and everyone else scurried off in different directions. Sophie repeated the clues in her head. Without Asher, she’d have to fend for herself. But where to start? The clues said something about stars basking in the sun and flowing liquid, right?
But what did that mean? Stars clearly meant the sky. And flowing liquid could easily refer to the Milky Way. Sophie’s heart drummed in her chest and she headed for the observatory on the Panorama deck, which was the tenth floor. That’s where she needed to start.
The lingering scent of Ryan’s cologne clung to her skin like fingers hanging on a railing overlooking a canyon. Her thoughts shifted to him. She could still feel his arms locked around her. Focus, Sophie—the café.
Ryan said he’d be at the Lido Deck later tonight. Clearly the clues didn’t lead there. Everyone and their mother would likely be at a pig roasting. Or, at least some semblance of a roast, she didn’t expect the ship would allow open flames on a lacquered wooden deck, so there was no reason to meet him there.
Except that he was there.
Sophie’s heart inched toward her throat. Why did she want to see him again? He’d tortured her enough in the silence after Grandmoo’s accident. Were the endless hours spent crying in her pillow and starving herself until she nearly passed out, only to drive through a fast-food restaurant and order the left side of the menu—followed by vomiting so that she’d feel something—not enough to remind her how this ends? She’d shed enough tears over him, she didn’t plan to shed anymore. Yes, he was her first love. But the other six billion people on this planet had a first love, too. Almost none of who actually married that person. And that’s okay.
She was okay.
So what if her head spun while they danced? Perhaps somewhere in the very back of her mind, deep in the temporal lobe where Ryan lived and breathed and gave her heart a cardio workout, she wanted to believe he had changed. That he had realized it took a decade of never filling that hole to remind him what could have been.
Then again, that was her hole. Not his. And the consequence of another rejection was not worth exploring. Especially since spending one afternoon with him sent her over the edge.
Sophie’s stomach constricted. That sort of pain—the gooey, messy, first love kind—left pain so intense, she’d rather have a root canal, performed by a Captain Hook, with his eyes closed, and the crocodile still attached to his wrist than allow Ryan to hurt her again.
Besi
des, the way he made her feel now was just remnants from when she was twenty. This wasn’t real.
He was that nice guy who got along with everyone. So what if he spent the day with her? He also hung out with the others when he got back on the ship. Because he was nice, and dammit, that’s what nice people do.
Stop! Sophie’s mind raced so fast she forgot which direction she was headed. This obsessing was going to cost her the game. Time to focus. Girls, café, walkie-talkie. No more Ryan. Period.
The observatory wasn’t hard to find, but something seemed eerie. She stopped in front of a closed door with a gold-plated sign that read in black letters ‘Observatory: Open to guests from dusk till dawn,’ and it occurred to her that nobody was around. Could it be that someone already found it? No, of course not. She was the only one that headed this way. Maybe she was the only one who put the clues together. Or, God forbid, she completely missed the mark.
She tried to open the door, and found it was locked. A sign posted near the door read that the room was closed due to renovations. Believing the walkie-talkie had to be in there, she assumed it was locked by accident. She jiggled the doorknob harder, twisting it and trying to make it open. This had to be a mistake. Why wouldn’t the door open?
Unless she was wrong. But she couldn’t be. The clues clearly stated it was where the stars were basking and flowing. You can’t see more stars than through the lens of a telescope! “Open up, you stupid door!” She banged the window and threw her shoulder into the door as if she could channel the Incredible Hulk and get in.
“Can I help you?” asked a high-pitched voice.
Sophie turned. The high-pitched voice belonged to a scrawny, and very likely inexperienced crewmember. The kid had a volcanic blemish on his chin which quite possibly had its own zip code. He couldn’t be a day older than eighteen-years-old.
She pushed herself from the door and stood tall, dwarfing him by a good three inches. Maybe she could trick him into letting her in. She glanced at his nametag and said, “Good evening, Todd. Maybe you can help me. This door is locked and I would like to get inside.”
Todd craned his neck toward the sign. “It’s closed.”
Sophie tried the door handle again. “Yes, but as you can see it’s supposed to be open because I’m betting the captain placed a hidden walkie-talkie in there and I’d like to check. Just a peek, Todd.”
“Yeah, sorry, ma’am. That’s not going to happen.”
“Well, why not? I’m just asking for a minute.” Determination was like a broomstick holding her up. He had to let her in.
“Because the sign says so.” The pimple on his chin clearly mocked her.
Sophie tried to level with the guy. “Come on, Todd. I’m just asking for one minute in there. I won’t touch anything. Please.”
“Sorry. I follow the rules but I can get a supervisor for you.”
A loud cheer erupted from the Lido Deck just below them. Both Todd and Sophie shot to the railing, stretching their necks to see what was happening below.
A spotlight haloed around Asher, who was standing next to the pool Ryan had dragged her out of last night, holding the walkie-talkie high above his head. Next to him were cardboard cutouts of Leonardo DiCaprio, Marilyn Monroe, and Justin Beiber. Stars. Stars basking in the sun where the liquid flows. Oh, how did I miss that? He found the walkie-talkie because he was a freak of nature when it came to games. And Sophie spent her time trying to break into a fortified fortress.
A faint thread of hysteria caught in her voice. “No. It can’t be.”
“Well, that guy seems happy.” Todd and his zit, which grew a goatee and aged about ten years, seemed suddenly buoyant. “The observatory will be open tomorrow. Have a good night.”
Todd scampered away, and Sophie leaned against the desolate room, desolate like her hope for saving the cafe. She refused the tears that welled up. “It was a stupid game and a long shot anyway.”
“Sophie?” Ryan said.
She shivered at the sound of his voice.
He stood in the shadows of the ship’s immense fin, and for a moment she longed for his comfort. His arms strong around her, his skin soft against hers, his lips making her forget. She clenched her jaw. But fulfilling that desire was about as probable as winning the money for the café. She sunk down next to the door. “How did you know where I was?”
“I didn’t. I’m headed to my room.” He pointed toward the sliding glass doors that led to the balcony suites.
“Oh. Okay.” He needed to go. Immediately. She needed a good cry—not a purge, thankfully—and she couldn’t do that with him here. As the nice guy, if he saw even on glistening tear, he’d stay. But then what? He would leave, because his job was in San Antonio, and he would ultimately end up with another woman anyway. Her heart couldn’t handle one more ripple.
Sophie watched the ground and held her breath. Ryan’s shiny black dress shoes did not walk toward his room as expected, but rather approached her. Her feelings for him intensified with every step. She looked up and offered him a tentative smile. “Have a good night then.”
Ryan slid down and sat next to her. He didn’t say anything, but wrapped an arm around her and pulled her in to him.
And something deep inside her broke. She sobbed. Didn’t even try to contain it, but let her hurt explode all over his overpriced shirt. She was grateful the observatory was closed, because sitting in the darkness away from the crowd allowed her a moment to regroup. She didn’t let the girls down on purpose. And there was still hope. But it was one failed attempt after another. And with each letdown, she felt the café slip further away.
Ryan reached into his coat, pulled a handkerchief from his shirt pocket, and handed it to her.
“Really?” She sniffle-laughed. “You carry a handkerchief in your pocket?”
“Well,” he said into her hair, “you never know when you’ll find a pretty young lady who has something in her eye.”
Sophie relaxed her head into his chest. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” After a moment of silence, Ryan tucked his fist under her chin and lifted. “I don’t know what’s wrong, but if you want to talk about it, I’m here.”
“I’m okay. I just needed a minute.”
Ryan was silent for a moment before asking, “What are you thinking about?”
Sophie smiled. So much for giving her a minute. “I’m not,” she said. “I’m listening.”
Ryan looked around. The air was calm. The festivities below on the Lido Deck had simmered. The night was coming to a close. “To what?” he finally asked.
“To the rational voices in my head reminding me how the last time we were together, things . . . didn’t fare so well.”
“You’re the one who stopped dancing.”
“I’m not talking about dancing, Pike.”
“Now, now. No need to use my name in vain. But I think things can fare a little better given whatever was in your eye seems to have come out. It was an exciting day for you. But maybe no more kayaks for now.”
Oh, those dimples when his whole face smiles. She’d forgotten how they made her breath catch. “Right,” Sophie said. He was too close to seeing her vulnerability. “About that. The day just got to me. I’m pretty sure I can never show my face in that city again.”
“Well, I wouldn’t say that. They’d be lucky to see your face again.”
Sophie blushed. Her legs quivered. “You don’t have to be so nice to me. What happened between us was a long time ago. But I appreciate the gesture.”
Ryan blinked. He looked at the door and then stood up, pulling Sophie with him. He looked through in the window and placed his hand on the handle.
“It’s locked. I tried to get in.”
Ryan’s eyes smiled. “Then you didn’t try very hard.” He took his wallet
from his back pocket and removed what looked like a miniature toolkit.
As he tucked his wallet away, Sophie followed his hand movements to his waistline. When he saw her watching, she blushed again.
“Eh-hem, my eyes are up here,” he said, pointing two fingers to his deep blues. The darkness changed them grayish. His fingers caressed her cheek. “You have a little something right here.” He lightly brushed off a tear.
Sophie’s stomach danced and she bit hard on her lower lip, hoping to gain control of her traitor body. But she couldn’t resist a smile.
Ryan carefully put a thin, long piece of metal in the doorknob’s keyhole, carefully maneuvering his thumb and forefinger in a circular motion. He then added a second tool.
“What are those?” Sophie asked.
“A tension wrench and a pick.”
“Is it even legal to have those tools in your wallet?”
“Have what?”
“You know what I’m referring to, Pike.”
“Again, with you and using my name in vain.” After a moment a click sounded and he leaned back on his heels, smiling. “I like to be prepared.” He pushed the door open and Sophie stepped inside.
Once in the room, Sophie’s eyes ballooned at the sight. The observation deck contained what Sophie assumed were about fifteen top-of-the-line telescopes evenly spread out around the room, all pointing toward the night sky. They were black, and beautiful, and their sturdy tri-pods stood erected side-by-side, holding each telescope carefully as they dutifully guarded the night sky.
Ryan’s fingers curved under her chin again. That touch sent a merciless quiver through her.
Chapter 20
“Ryan, this is beautiful.”
“Have you ever looked through one?” He placed his hand on the curve of her back and guided her in, closing the door behind them.