by G. K. Brady
He felt a pair of eyes on him and looked up to find Finn drilling into him with the same look he’d been giving Finn since they’d met. It said, “Don’t fuck with her, or I will carve you up with a spoon and feed you to the coyotes.” And shit, suddenly he was that guy. The user. And he was making a mess of everything.
As he glanced at Ellie, bands tightened around his chest. She glowed from inside this morning, making her even more beautiful than ever. He’d have crowed and told himself he was the reason behind that look, but even if that were true, it made him a bigger douche because last night he’d taken and taken, and damn the consequences. Consequences now staring him in the face.
After saying their thank-yous and good-byes, Dave jogged upstairs to get their bags. Sonoma appeared in the doorway and crossed her arms with a smirk. “I heard the older ladies talking about the racket that kept them up all night. Judging by the condition of that bed and how tired you look, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out what the ‘racket’ was. You two really burned up the sheets.”
He picked up the bags and turned slowly, plastering on his best deadpan face. “No clue what you’re talking about, Nome. And the reason I look tired is because I slept in my truck.”
“Liar.”
He shrugged and nudged her out of his way.
“Okay. Play it your way, Dave.” She pointed at herself. “But when your wedding day rolls around, this girl wants the credit she deserves for getting you two together.”
He stopped and sighed. “Nome. There’s nothing to give credit for. No cupids stringing arrows, no wedding plans. Just your dirty mind playing tricks on you.”
“So you say.”
He headed for the stairs. “Yeah, I do say.”
“We’ll just see,” she chortled behind him.
He was still shaking his head when he reached the truck. The sight of Ellie leaning against it like she belonged there, her eyes closed and face upturned to the sun, gave him a jolt he shouldn’t have felt. When he dropped the bags, her eyes flew open, and a wide smile lit them up.
Damn, she’s gorgeous! “Hey, didn’t mean to disturb your communing with the sun. Ready to get on the road?”
Sliding her hands into her coat pockets, she looked around and sighed. “I guess so.”
He unlocked the doors and opened hers for her. “You like it here?”
She nodded. “It’s so pretty and peaceful. No traffic, no sirens. Just nature everywhere you look.”
He followed her gaze. It was pretty. “Yeah, I can see how someone could get used to this.”
“And now that I have the boots, I can move right in!” The music in her laughter lifted on the morning breeze, tugging a reluctant smile from him.
They’d been driving for about a half hour—him brooding while she hummed along with the music—when she turned to him. “Is everything okay this morning? You seem a little, um, preoccupied.”
Shifting in his seat, he kept his eyes focused on the road. “Just tired, I guess.”
From the corner of his eye, he saw Ellie nod and slouch in her seat, her eyes fixed on the world outside her window. Shit, she was killing him. He turned and tugged on a curl. “Someone wouldn’t let me sleep last night.”
She side-eyed him and smirked. “Funny. I was thinking the same thing.”
“What? That you wouldn’t let me sleep last night?”
“No,” she laughed. “The other way around. I—”
His phone rang over the car speakers, and caller ID flashed on the dashboard screen. No missing Nicky’s name glaring at them both. Worse, he’d never changed what she’d entered in his phone when they’d first started dating. “Naughty Nicky” blazed proud and bright before he could hit the off button—which, in his erratic fumbling, turned out to be the on button.
“You there, Dave?” her voice blared across the speakers.
He punched “Off” and threw himself against the driver’s seat with an inner groan, not daring a look at Ellie, who had gone stone still. The phone rang again, and this time he hit the correct button and let the call go to voicemail.
“Wonder what she wanted,” he muttered lamely.
“If you’d answered, you wouldn’t need to wonder,” Ellie said in a voice so quiet he barely heard her.
He blew out a breath. “She doesn’t usually call me. Or get in touch with me at all. It’s not like we’re—”
Ellie held up a hand. “It’s okay. You don’t owe me any explanations.”
True, but why did that make him feel worse?
They rode in charged silence, emotions boiling and frothing inside him. There was so much he wanted to say, to explain, but he didn’t dare for fear he’d beg her to come home with him and bring color to his four stark walls. To smile for him and make his fucked-up world right again. To climb into bed and love him and never leave.
Could he have fallen for this girl this hard? This fast? He was so screwed.
When he pulled up in front of her house, she practically vaulted out the door. Before he could kill the engine and round the truck to help her, she had the back door to his truck open and was tugging at her bag.
“Hey, wait. Let me help you with—”
“Nope, I got it. I’m good.” She yanked so hard that when the bag finally came free, she nearly toppled backward. He reached out to steady her, but she shrugged off his hold as if he were some sleazeball. A quick dash of her eyes to his. “I had a great time. Thanks.” Then she spun and practically ran for her front door.
A coil of barbed wire twisted in his gut. He took faltering steps toward her, but she unlocked her front door, slipped inside, and closed it before he’d made it halfway up her walkway.
Cut her loose before you hurt her. This is what you wanted. Except it wasn’t what he wanted. And he was already hurting her. He was hurting them both. Last night had been incredible. Stars going supernova kind of incredible. How often did that happen in a lifetime? He lumbered into the driver’s seat, where he sat for a minute, trying to gather his thoughts, but they kept scattering like paper-dry leaves being pushed around by a relentless wind. Beside him, his phone buzzed with Nicky’s voicemail. He picked it up and changed Nicky’s moniker to a simple “Nicole.” Then he tossed it in the console without listening to her message, fired up his engine, and pulled away from Ellie’s curb. Chasing him was the feeling he’d just thrown away one of the best things to ever happen to him—just like he’d nearly thrown away his hockey career.
What the fuck was the matter with him?
The answer still eluded him when he turned into his complex, rounded the corner, and hit his garage-door opener. He came to a screeching halt. Parked broadside was Nicky’s black Lexus, blocking his entry into the garage.
“Fuuuuck! Can this day get any better?” He pushed a breath through his lungs.
The SUV lurched forward, leaving him a gap big enough to pull his truck inside. Before he was out of the door, she was standing in the garage bay, high-heeled boot toe tapping on the concrete floor. Without acknowledging her, he opened the back door and grabbed his overnight bag and the cooler.
“Just coming back from an overnight somewhere?” she snipped.
He finally leveled his gaze with hers. “Hi, Nicole. What brings you here?”
“Did you get my message?”
“Nope. Haven’t had a chance to listen to it yet.”
“Interesting. Too busy with her, I suppose.”
Was she making this shit up? Was she following him? No clue. “Look, I’m tired, it’s cold, and I’ve got a lot to do. Why did you call? For that matter, why are you here?” He put his stuff down and crossed his arms over his chest.
Her eyes turned glossy. “Can we go inside and talk?”
That misty-eyed look that used to rip him up was doing nothing right now except irritating the hell out of him. He picked up his stuff and told her to go inside while he closed the garage door. Jesus. What was she going to hit him with now? Whatever he might have speculated it was, he was
n’t prepared for what came after they reached the kitchen and he’d put aside the cooler and bag.
“What if I told you Benny was dead?” she sniffed.
Glacial shards needled through his veins. “What?”
“Well, if you’d pick up your fucking phone when I call!” Now her watery eyes flashed fire.
He held up his hands, palms out, in a calm-down gesture. “Hold up. Is Benny dead?” Just saying the words caused a knot to form in his throat.
She swiped at her eyes. “No, but he could have been.”
Dave ground his back molars. Temper, when it rose in him, usually went in stages, and it took time and whole lot of mad to hit each of those stages. A simmer climbed to a slow boil which, if provoked, climbed to a less slow boil. As he gaped at her, his temper shot from simmer to rolling boil. “What the hell is going on with Benny, and what the hell kind of game are you playing, Nicky?”
“He got sick, okay? I tried calling you two days ago and a bunch of times yesterday, but you didn’t call me back!”
“You didn’t leave me any messages! I didn’t see any texts.”
“Because you should have picked up, Dave!”
His head was about to explode. Had she always been like this and he’d conditioned himself to play along like a monkey on a chain? He let out a sigh of defeat. “Tell me about Benny.”
“He got into some mouse poison, and the vet had to pump his stomach.”
WTF? “Where did he get the poison?”
“I found a mouse in the garage, so I bought some and put it out. I thought only mice ate it! You always used to take care of these things. You need to come back, Dave.”
He jerked or recoiled, he wasn’t sure which. Maybe both. Was she serious? Suddenly, an old familiar feeling—one he’d shoved to the far recesses of his memory banks—wrapped itself around his throat. It was one thing to feel needed, but another entirely to be choked with the heavy chain of a boat anchor. “Where’s Benny now? And where’s Isaac?”
Her waterworks were full on; real or fake, he’d never been able to tell. “Isaac’s with his dad,” she said, “so he doesn’t know what happened, thank God! Benny’s home, and the vet says he’ll be all right, but that visit cost a small fortune.”
And there it was. She’d struck out at finding another sap with a bank account big enough to keep her happy, and she was trying to reel him back in to fill the void. No, she was trying to reel his wallet back in. “Tell me who the vet is, and I’ll pay the bill.”
“I already put it on my Visa, and now it’s maxed out.”
The Visa with a forty-grand limit. “Then send me the Visa bill, and I’ll pay that portion.”
“Why don’t you just come back and make it easier for everyone?” she whimpered.
Not easier for me. He glanced around at his four walls to ground himself in reality, to double-check that he wasn’t dreaming. “Nicky, what we had is in the past. You and I both know that going back would never work.”
She plucked a paper towel and blew her nose. “This new girl must be a lot prettier than me. You used to say I was the most beautiful woman you’d ever seen.”
He had said that, and though she’d prodded him, he really had meant it at the time. In that moment, it struck him that sometime recently, he’d wised up and realized beauty was about the whole package, not just the veneer. Right now Nicky’s veneer was wearing thin. Maybe spending time with Ellie had crystallized it for him because the woman he’d once thought was the most beautiful couldn’t hold a candle to the woman he’d just pushed away.
“You’re still beautiful, Nick,” he managed. “But I’ve moved on. You have too. Right now you’re a little shaken up and you’re looking for familiar ground. I’m not what you need. You’ll recognize it in time.” Dave Grimson, Psych 101.
He waited a few more minutes while she sniffled and wiped, anxious for her to go because he had some serious apologizing to do. “So, Nick, don’t you need to get home so you can give Benny some medicine or something?” Shit. He used to be the one to do that kind of crap.
She waved a dismissive hand at him. “You’re not very subtle, Dave. Don’t worry. I’ll go so you can get back to … Never mind.” In the past, he’d have spent hours trying to reassure her, but those days were done, so he watched her sad figure walk out the front door, climb into the Lexus, and drive off. Relief left his lungs in a whoosh.
Before he’d shut the front door, he had his phone out and thumbed a text to Ellie.
I was a dick. Can I come over and explain? Or take you to dinner?
Chapter 26
The Casual Player and Other Delusions
Ellie stared at Dave’s text. I was a dick. Maybe a little. And certainly confusing. The signals he’d sent this morning had been as jumbled as a bag full of peat moss, but she’d wanted to believe him when he’d said he was tired because it was better than the alternative: that whole morning-after weirdness when one of you was sober enough to regret the night before.
She let out a shoulder-shuddering sigh. She was a big girl, and she’d known what she was getting herself into. He was a hunky hockey player, and he’d gotten to her just like he probably got to every woman he threw a second glance. A teeny-weeny too much to drink, and she’d given in to her hot-and-bothered horny side, utterly forgetting that he was a hunky hockey player. But he had treated her like a princess last night, all night—as generous in bed as he was with his wallet—and she’d had an amazing time she wouldn’t trade for all the landscape design projects in Denver. Did she want more of him? Of course she did. Which was why she’d acted like a stupid, jealous beeotch when Naughty Nicky called.
Trying not to think about what the future might hold for him and Naughty Nicky, she reread his questions, struggling to keep a cool head while she composed her answer. Her hammering heart was making it hard to concentrate, what with the blood whooshing in and out of her ears like waves hitting the shore. One thing she did know, however, was she’d rather be comfy at home, especially if what he had to explain was going to hurt. No point in showing distress to a bunch of strangers in a restaurant.
At that thought, she gulped in a breath and thumbed, How about dinner here? I’ll show off my mad BBQ skills.
He replied immediately: Perfect. Maybe you can teach me a thing or two. What can I bring?
Whimsical Ellie—or was it Wanton Ellie?—answered: Your cowboy hat.
If she was lucky, maybe he’d wear that and nothing else. The vivid image zinged her in all the very best parts of her body, the ones a little sore from last night.
Dave: Lol. If I do, will you wear it for me?
“Ooh, Mr. Reaper,” she said aloud, hope making her suddenly giddy over what felt like them exchanging flirty texts. “Are you having the same sinful thoughts I am?” Still, he had something to explain, which sounded serious. Could have been good or bad. That’ll depend on you, she tapped right before pulling on her coat and grabbing her wallet on her way to the grocery store.
Several hours later, after showering, shampooing, and pulling on a pair of old jeans and a favorite black blouse, Ellie was seasoning asparagus spears and zucchini planks. These would join her marinated chicken breasts on the grill—if the weather held up. Outside her window, deep russets and brilliant golds stretched upward, their contrast stark against an iron fall sky. A storm was coming, and she and Dave had agreed on an early dinner for that reason. He had a morning skate and team meeting after, and he needed his “beauty sleep,” so he’d said. In the background, the Revivalists sang “Wish I Knew You.” Ellie sang along, the words striking sad chords deep inside her. What had she been doing with her life these last many years?
A knock on her front door had Casper slipping and sliding over the hardwood floor and had hummingbird wings blurring in Ellie’s stomach. She checked the time on her phone. Ten minutes before Dave was supposed to be here, so who was at her front door? As if in answer, her phone chirped with a text.
Dave: I’m a little early. Is that
okay?
Ellie let loose some pent-up steam with a nervous giggle and replied, No. You have to wait 10 mins before I open the door.
When she threw the door open, his cowboy-hatted head was bent over his phone. Several things happened at once. He raised wide eyes to her, Casper tried to climb his leg, and Dan + Shay started singing about being speechless.
Dave thrust a huge bouquet of mixed roses at her, a tentative smile playing on his face. “Appropriate song. Is my ten minutes up?”
She opened and closed her mouth. What had he just said? When he cocked his head, she waved him in. “I was teasing. Come in.”
He stepped inside, arm still extended, his hand holding the colorful flowers. She went to take them from him, and he bent down—to kiss her, she assumed—but the brim of his hat hit her smack on the forehead, knocking it from his head. He burst out with a laugh. “If you hadn’t already figured it out, my lack of hat etiquette is further proof I am definitely not a cowboy.” He ducked, picked up the hat, and peered at her. His face fell. “Did I get you in the eye?”
“No. Yes. No. Just the forehead. I’m good. You just surprised me.” Deep breaths, El. Seeing him, being so close, having those intense hazel eyes drilling into her—the sensory overload was lighting multiple tongue-twisting blazes inside her. Oh Lordy! Fortunately, she found her grin. “But I’m glad you brought the hat. Are the flowers for me?” As she took them from him, she did an inner face-palm. I’m such a dork!
He shucked his jacket and tossed it and the hat on her armchair. “No, they’re for Casper. Just don’t let her eat them all at once.” He sent Ellie a wink before dropping into a crouch and scratching Casper’s ears. The dog shamelessly rolled onto her back, exposing her belly, and kicked one of her back legs.
Can’t blame you, girl. I’d be doing the same thing if that hunk of a man scratched my ears. Ellie strolled into the kitchen and placed the flowers in the sink. As she was reaching for a pair of shears, something big and warm snuggled up to her back. Strong arms bracketed her body, a familiar man scent filled her nose, and a pair of soft lips landed at the base of her neck and started working their way north. She tilted her head to give those lips better access. “Mmm, what are you doing?” And please don’t stop.