by Aaron Oster
Sam noted that Emma had avoided saying Milly’s name, which he was quite grateful for. He really hadn’t known her long, but he’d been convinced that she’d genuinely liked him. From past experience, he knew that it would take a least a few days for him to get over her.
“Sounds about right,” Sam nodded. “But that’s where the challenge is. We know Aoife is level 8. What we don’t know are the levels of the other two. Not to mention that we’ll probably need to take out a bunch of their cronies if we want to get to them.”
“Yeah. That’s gonna be fun,” Emma said, rising from her crouch and smoothing her hair back. “But we have another problem, and one that we need to address before we go on a crusade to kill all those con artists.”
“And what would that be?” Sam asked, rising as well, and brushing the dirt off his pants.
“We need to get you some decent gear.”
Sam nodded sadly, remembering the set of Mage King gear he’d had in his bag before it’d been stolen. That just served to make him angry again, and he rubbed at his temples as a headache threatened to make an appearance. Then, he remembered the glowing blue outlines that had showed up on the gnome’s corpse the previous night.
Turning to look across the clearing, he could see that the body was still there. If he squinted, he could still make out those blue outlines, despite the bright sunlight. He hadn’t really had the heart to loot the gnome last night, but now the pain that the angry little man’s words had caused had somewhat dulled. They weren’t completely gone, but it was manageable. He was about to head over and loot the gnome’s corpse, when he belatedly remembered to check the day’s rule.
RULES OF THE DAY
Do not let your HP drop below 70%
Do not eat any stew
“What the hell?” he exclaimed, throwing his arms into the air in frustration.
“What’s wrong?” Emma asked, looking concerned.
“I have two rules, instead of one!”
“So?”
Sam stared at her, wide-eyed, but she just shrugged.
“Some days you get more than one rule. Barry explained it to me the first time it happened.”
Fuck you, Overlord!
Sam blew out a breath, allowing his temper to fade away. It wouldn’t do him any good to become all wound up over something he couldn’t control. He wasn’t in the mood of stew anyway. He was so sick of the stuff, that the mere sight of it would be enough to make him gag. The other rule would be much harder to keep, because he knew there would likely be some fighting, but he hoped that since he was going to be fighting with a team, things would work out for him.
Turning his attention back to the task at hand, Sam walked over to the gnome’s corpse and began rummaging around in his pockets. After a thorough search, he had collected several new items, all of which, he was quite pleased to have.
ITEMS FOUND!
Name: Silver Orb Durability: 62/65
Rarity: Rare Quality: Sturdy Damage: +5-8
A shining silver sphere to enhance mana-based abilities Name: Pendant of the Novice Mage Durability: 133/140
Rarity: Rare Quality: Sturdy Effect: +3 Intelligence & Wisdom Name: Ring of Endurance Durability: 104/125
Rarity: Rare Quality: Sturdy Effect: +4 Endurance Name: Ring of Fortitude Durability: 128/130
Rarity: Enchanted Quality: Enhanced Effect: +50% Resistance to Mental Manipulation Name: Mage’s Sash Durability: 50/50
Rarity: Rare Quality: Good Armor: +3
Effect: +5% Increased damage to Mage abilities
As soon as Sam finished inspecting the items, a new window popped up.
SKILL RANK UP!
Congratulations! Your Inspect skill has advanced from Beginner to Intermediate!
Inspect: If you stare at someone long enough, eventually you’ll crack open their minds Level: Intermediate 21 (5%) Effect: More in-depth information on people, monsters, and items. You may now glean more information on higher tier items
Sam was excited about the upgraded skill, and even more so about the items. He was quick to put on the rings and pendant, then pull the sash around his waist and tie it off. Picking up the orb, he mentally equipped it, then placed it in his pocket. It wasn’t exactly a comfortable fit, but it did its job. He shifted the ball around a bit, until the bulge wasn’t as visible. Turning back to Emma, he grinned, motioning to all his new gear.
Emma’s eyes roamed over him and she flashed him a grin as well.
“Is that an Orb in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”
Sam rolled his eyes, but laughed all the same. He’d finally gotten some gear that he could use, even if he had looted it off a corpse, and now felt a lot less vulnerable than he had before.
“So, I’m about to make some lovely stew,” Emma said, digging into her bag and coming out with two stew rations. “Would you can to join me on a date? I promise I won’t bite,” she said, with a wink.
“Much as I’m tempted by the culinary masterwork that is instant stew, the rules won’t allow it,” Sam said, for once actually glad for one of those damned rules.
“Oh well. More for me then,” she replied, dropping one of the packets back into her bag.
As Emma began preparing herself breakfast, Sam decided that it had been a while since he’d checked his full status. So, sitting down with his back to a tree, Sam opened it.
CHARACTER STATUS
Name: Sam Race: Human Level: 10
XP: 801/8,000
AP: 1
Class: Mage HP: 130/130 (Regen 1.3 Per Second) MP: 370/370 (Regen 3.2 Per Second) STA: 140/140 (Regen 1.4 Per Second)
ATTRIBUTES
Strength: 6 (7)
Constitution: 13
Agility: 8
Endurance: 9 (14)
Intelligence: 34 (37)
Wisdom: 29 (32)
Charisma: 21
Luck: 12
ABILITIES
Mana Shot: Beginner LV - 17 (98%) Mana Burn: Beginner LV - 16 (79%) Mana Flare: Beginner LV - 14 (11%) Mana Cloak: Novice LV - 9 (22%) Mage Bolt: Novice LV - 3 (1%) Speed Boost: Novice LV - 1 (33%)
SKILLS
Sprint: Beginner LV - 15 (84%) Stalker: Beginner LV - 13 (67%) Inspect: Intermediate LV - 21 (5%) Mind Over All: Advanced LV - 37 (9%) Mental Manipulation: Beginner LV - 13 (21%) Browbeat: Novice LV - 6 (97%) Critical Strike: Novice LV - 10 (52%) Sucker Punch: Novice LV - 9 (44%)
TITLES
Butcherer of Bunnies Punching Bag You Won’t Like Me When I’m Angry
EQUIPPED ITEMS
Clothing Farmer’s Canvas Shirt Farmer’s Canvas Pants Farmer’s Leather Boots Mage’s Sash Total Armor Rating: 10
Set Bonus: +1 Strength & Endurance Other Items Name: Silver Orb Damage: +5-8
Name: Pendant of the Novice Mage Effect: +3 Intelligence & Wisdom Name: Ring of Endurance Effect: +4 Endurance Name: Ring of Fortitude Effect: +50% Resistance to Mental Manipulation
RULE OF THE DAY
Do not allow your HP to drop below 70%
Do not eat any stew
Sam sighed as he closed his status. His Intelligence and Wisdom had almost recovered from the loss of his items, but his Luck was still crap. His Strength was still pitiful and his Agility was almost as bad, but the rest of his attributes weren’t too horrible.
The smell of cooking stew wafted over to him then, and he turned his attention to Emma, who was digging a wooden spoon into the small, steaming packet. His stomach growled lightly, betraying his hunger. Sam gritted his teeth in annoyance, suddenly feeling a lot less grateful to the Overlord. Emma, as though sensing his eyes on her, looked up from her meal and waggled her eyes brows suggestively at him. When he ignored her, she began making loud moaning sounds with each bite she took, praising the stew’s flavor and making very graphic and sexual innuendos the entire time.
Sam was nearing the end of his patience, when there was a loud squawking from overhead and Baron Von Tweet came plummeting out of the sky. A moment later, Gordon came bounding into the
clearing, panting heavily and glaring up at the bird.
“Ha! I win, Poochy!”
“I would hardly call it a race, seeing as you merely avoided all of the obstacles,” Gordon replied in an indignant voice.
“Them’s the brakes, dog. Now sit!”
Gordon, fur bristling in anger, just glared at the bird but didn’t otherwise move to obey his commands.
“A deal’s a deal. Don’t go flaking out on it!” Barry screeched, flying in a circle above Gordon’s head.
“Okay, stop!” Sam yelled, already losing his patience with the two animals. “Will someone please tell me what’s going on here?”
“I would be happy to…” Gordon began, but Barry cut him off immediately.
“This mutt and I made a deal. We race back to the clearing and the winner gets to order the loser around for a day. But now that Scruffy lost, he’s trying to flake on the deal!”
“Gordon, is that true?” Sam asked, rubbing at his temples.
“That is preposterous! I would never agree to such an agreement with that foul-beaked fiend!”
“You’re lying, Gordon, aren’t you?” Sam asked, already knowing the truth, due to his Mind Over All skill.
Gordon stared between Sam and Barry for a few seconds, before lowering his head and letting out a low whine.
“Yes.”
“You know that lying is wrong, don’t you?” Sam asked, feeling very weird to be the one lecturing, instead of being lectured to.
“Yes.”
“Good. Now you have an agreement with the bird. Never back out once you’ve made a promise.”
Gordon nodded sullenly and Baron Von Tweet let out a victory screech.
“Woo-hoo! You heard the man! On your knees, bitch!” the bird yelled, walking over and thrusting his pelvis out.
Sam face-palmed.
Really?
“Oh, Barry,” Emma called out, getting everyone’s attention.
Turning, Sam felt his heart skip a beat. Emma was smiling at the bird, much in the way a cat would smile at a mouse.
“You might have won that race, but I hope you don’t plan on doing anything… extreme. It would make me very… upset.”
Sam felt a shiver run down his spine, as a black aura seemed to flow out from Emma and wash over all of them. Sam didn’t think birds could sweat, but Baron Von Tweet came as close to sweating as was birdly possible. He quickly nodded his head, then took off, heading to perch in the trees above.
“Holy crap, Emma. You’re fucking scary!” Sam exclaimed.
“Really?” Emma asked, her expression back to normal, and her usual playful smile back in place. “Well, how about you strip for me and we can have some fun?”
Sam just shook his head and turned his attention to Gordon.
“Alright, buddy. Tell me what you’ve got.”
37
“Baron Von Tweet and I investigated the city, as per Emma’s request,” Gordon began, dipping his head in the girl’s direction.
“While there, we discovered several irregularities. The city seemed to be in somewhat of an uproar over something the guild has done. After investigating as to their displeasure, I discovered that the guild had raised city taxes by 40%.”
“Can they even do that?” Sam asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Under normal circumstances, they cannot. However, their decree was backed by a signed document bearing the King’s seal.”
“What?!” both Sam and Emma exclaimed at the same time.
“Is it possible to forge the King’s seal?” Sam asked.
“No. A King’s seal is impossible to reproduce, as it is linked to their soul. The seal was legitimate, which leads me to believe that someone very close to the King, or perhaps even the King himself, is behind what is happening in this city.”
“But it makes no sense! Why would the King have an interest in some random city? Especially since he can get pretty much anything he wants legally, as well. He is the King, after all,” Emma said.
“I am afraid that I cannot answer that question,” Gordon said. “All I know is that the guild raised taxes and that the King’s seal was on the document. We investigated further into the doings of Sirus and his gang and discovered that there will be a shipment of goods coming into the city tonight, near the southern entrance.”
“I didn’t know there was a southern entrance,” Sam said, earning him a glare from Gordon. “Sorry, no more interruptions.”
Gordon nodded, then continued his report.
“I do not know what these goods are, but I do know that everyone involved in the corruption of the city will be there.”
Sam resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the trope.
Of course they’d all be gathering to pick up some shady shipment.
“I believe that this will be our best opportunity to complete your quest to rid the city of its infestation,” Gordon finished.
“Damn, you really weren’t kidding about the whole trope thing,” Emma said. “The only non-trope here is that it’s not happening by a shipping dock.”
Sam snorted out a laugh, earning him another glare from Gordon.
“I do not know why you all keep complaining. Our illustrious Overlord always gives people a way to complete a quest, even the most difficult ones.”
Sam shrugged.
“Makes our job that much easier. The only question is how we beat them all.”
“I’m sure we’ll figure it out,” Emma said with a grin. “For now, I’d say that we should scope the place out, and see where we can set up an ambush. Maybe even set some traps.”
Sam nodded. “Good thinking. If I’m guessing correctly, this southern entrance will be unguarded and relatively out of the way, so we should have no issues there.”
***
“What the fuck is this?” Sam exclaimed.
He, Emma, Gordon, and Baron Von Tweet were crouched in a conveniently placed set of bushes, just a few hundred yards from the southern entrance. But instead of being the small and out of the way entrance he’d expected, it was even busier than the other two entrances he’d seen so far.
Teams of wagons, men, horses, and livestock moved in and out of massive gates. A slew of city guards and guild members were moving them along, making sure that traffic continued at a smooth pace. The noise that all the animals, wagons, and people made was more than enough to cover any sounds that they might make, so Sam didn’t even try to lower his voice.
“How the hell are we supposed to ambush anyone there? And how is it that we missed this?”
“The city is very large. In our few days here, you barely explored three percent of it. The only areas we visited were some shops and a place to eat. Other than that, we did not really do much else,” Gordon supplied.
“Don’t worry your cute butt about it,” Emma said. “I’m sure that once it becomes dark, this place will have completely emptied out. How else will they sneak whatever it is they have in?”
“But they won’t have to sneak it in,” Sam said, feeling like the biggest idiot under the face of the… well, not Earth… The biggest idiot under the face of Somerset.
“They own the city,” he explained after Emma gave him a confused look. “So what possible reason could they have for needing to sneak something in?”
“Shit! You’re right,” Emma said, looking surprised. “Why didn’t I think of that? I feel like it should have been obvious.”
“Probably for the same reason that I can’t lift a half-dead gnome,” he replied. “Your Intelligence or Wisdom isn’t high enough.”
Emma’s mouth formed into an O and Sam nodded sagely, feeling very wise for some reason. Emma shifted a little closer to him, as though to ask a question, and then Sam jumped as he felt a hard pinch on his backside.
“Keep your hands to yourself,” he hissed, slapping her hand away.
“Sorry, I can’t help it,” Emma said with a sheepish grin.
“What do you mean, you can’t help it? Just keep your hands t
o yourself!”
Sam then saw her hand twitch again and was quick to put Gordon between them as a buffer. Emma pouted at him, but Sam just shook his head.
“I’ll let you stand next to me when you learn to behave.”
Sam was mentally grinding his teeth.
Since when did he need to be the responsible one?
“How old are you anyway?” Sam asked, wondering why he hadn’t asked before.
“Eighteen,” Emma replied. “You?”
“Nineteen.”
“You ever did it before?” she asked with a wicked grin. “With a girl, I mean.”
Sam rolled his eyes, but refused to comment.
“No! You’re a virgin? I never would have guessed!” Emma gushed, holding a hand up to her mouth and suppressing a laugh.
Sam felt his cheeks growing warm and he knew he was blushing.
“It’s not like it’s a choice or anything,” he mumbled. “I just never found the right person.”
“Aww, you poor baby! Let me take care of you,” Emma said, trying to lean over Gordon and grab him.
Sam slapped her hands away, then turned and crawled away through the bushes, heading deeper into the forest. He felt his face burning with embarrassment, though he wasn’t sure why. Plenty of people his age were still virgins, so that wasn’t the issue. The issue was that Emma had called him out on it and then had practically offered herself to him. Sam wondered what she would do if he ever did take her up on her many offers. Would she back out, or go along with it? She was younger than him, so how experienced could she really be?
Sam blew out a long breath, then sat down with his back to a tree and stared up at the swaying leaves above. Here he was, stuck in some fantasy video game world, and he was worrying about stupid things that didn’t really matter. Right now, he needed to focus on one thing, finishing the quest and getting his shit back. Oh, and revenge. Definitely revenge.