by Rawah Arja
‘That’s so good, Nintendo,’ PJ said. ‘I know you say some weird stuff but I respect ya man.’
‘How about you, PJ?’ Captain Black asked. ‘Anything you haven’t told anyone?’
PJ’s big brown eyes suddenly looked small. ‘My boys know everything about me. They’ve always had my back.’
Mr Archie tilted his head towards the Shire half of the circle. ‘These lads don’t know you yet.’
‘Ummm. Well, I play guitar and sing at my church with my Grandma Ceci.’
PJ’s Grandma Ceci was always super chill, and spoke softly to the point that if you didn’t concentrate really hard, you’d miss everything she said. She took care of PJ since his mum went to jail about a year ago and baked us banana bread when we hung out. Grandma Ceci sang us songs while PJ played his guitar and was always one of the first volunteers to cook at our school events alongside my mum.
‘Anything else you want to add? Maybe about your family?’ Captain Black asked when PJ shook his head.
PJ had only spoken about his mum a couple of times, and both those times he had broken down and cried. When he got the news that she’d been caught with drugs and had her sentence extended, he completely lost it and started throwing chairs around the school hall. Mr Ahmed was the only one who had been able to calm him down.
‘Alright, who’s going next?’ Mr Archie asked when it became clear that PJ wasn’t going to share anything else.
‘Does it have to be deep?’ I asked. I’d been lucky my whole life with my family and friends. I had no hidden depths like my friends did.
‘No,’ Mr Archie said. ‘You share whatever you feel comfortable with.’
‘Wait, what?’ Ibby said skewing another marshmallow on his stick. ‘I thought it had to be serious.’
‘It’s okay, lad. The point of this gathering is to get to know each other on a deeper level and show that we’re all going through our own difficulties and challenges,’ Mr Archie reassured him. ‘It’s also about trying to find ways to communicate. If you talk about things and get them off your chest, you’re less likely to want to punch people in the face.’
We laughed, then Captain Black looked at me from across the fire. ‘How do you feel about your school possibly closing?’
‘Me?’
He nodded.
‘Obviously I don’t want it to, but it’s not in my control.’
‘Really? It’s not in your control?’
I could feel the tension now. He wasn’t smiling and his eyes never wavered from me. Why was he asking me these questions? What about the other boys?
Mr Archie added some more wood to the fire. ‘What would you do if you saw the gates shut for the last time, chained and locked, and you could never see your teachers or your friends again?’
I was quiet for a minute. ‘Everything I know about myself and my life revolves around that place. If it closed down, I’d be no one.’
I could feel the boys stare at me in silence.
‘Do you know what it feels like to wake up and read the stories in the news about how there’s no future for boys like us, or that we’ll never be anything but criminals. Do they know what it does to us? How it affects us? How little parts of us believe them when they say we’re nothing?’
My hands were shaking. I had planned to share something about wanting to play for the Bulldogs but something just snapped in me under Captain Black’s pressure. ‘I’d be broken if the school closed.’
Mr Archie sat beside me. ‘You are more than what they say about you, lad. I will do everything in my power to see you graduate from the place that will make you the man I know you can become.’
My eyes felt hot and I nudged Huss to go next.
‘Sometimes the teachers do my head in, but wallah, I’d be shattered if the school closed, too. I wouldn’t see these boys every day and eat manoush.’
‘What’s manoush?’ Matt asked.
‘The best morning pizza, bro,’ Huss said licking his lips. ‘Like, the cheese melts in long strings and the fatty oil runs down your hands. It’s the best.’
Captain Black looked at Aaron. ‘What about you, kid? Wanna let these boys know something about you?’
Aaron took a deep breath. ‘I never wanted to join this competition but my mum forced me to.’
The boys laughed.
Mr Archie sat back in his spot across from me. ‘Lad, you should’ve seen what I had to go through to get these boys to agree. Actually, come to think of it, most of you didn’t want to be here.’
‘You can give me more than that, kid,’ Captain Black said.
Aaron looked around at each of our faces, stopping at me. ‘I’m here because my mum thought that getting out of the house and trying something new would get my mind off the fact that my dad died five months ago in a car accident.’
The fire crackled. Aaron looked at Captain Black. ‘Is that enough for you?’
Captain Black looked over at the rest of us. ‘You guys have any questions for Aaron? Seems to me that he’s not really communicated much with any of you this week.’
I’ll admit it was good to see the instructors grilling someone other than me for once.
‘So, you’re friends with Hunter?’ PJ asked. ‘That shithead ranga who’s always on at Riley and Lee?’
Aaron dropped his gaze and began to fidget. ‘Our families –’
‘Come on, mate,’ Matt interrupted. ‘You were closer than “oh, our families work together”. That excuse got tired a long time ago.’
Lee piped up. ‘Pretty sure it was you who came up with that shitty “Snow Boy” joke, wasn’t it?’
‘Seriously?!’ Ibby asked. ‘And you’re all still so nice to him?’
Aaron stood up. ‘Okay, I’ll own that. Hunter and I were mates for a long time. And yeah, I did a lot of stuff with him that I’m really not proud of.’ He looked over at his schoolmates. ‘I was…I wasn’t a good captain.’
‘You were a bully,’ Riley said quietly.
Aaron nodded. ‘I know I should’ve done this a long time ago but…I’m sorry, man. For calling you that stuff. For all of it.’
‘What changed?’ I asked, curiously. He looked at me, not understanding. I gestured between him and Riley. ‘You know. These guys were only worth bullying before, and Hunter was worth your friendship. What changed?’
Aaron went quiet for a minute. Mr Archie had just opened his mouth to end the silence when Aaron finally found the right words.
‘I guess lately I’ve been thinking about what kind of person I want to be.’
‘Because of your dad?’ Ibby asked.
Aaron shrugged. I got the feeling he was all talked out for the moment. Riley went over to stand next to him, hand outstretched.
‘It’s all good, mate. No hard feelings.’
Lee nodded as his two teammates shook hands. ‘Water under the bridge.’
‘Yeah,’ Matt agreed. ‘Just don’t be a shithead after all this, yeah?’
Mr Archie nodded with approval. ‘Well done for taking ownership of your past, Aaron. And I’m equally impressed with you other lads accepting his apology and moving past it.’
Huss had the weirdest expression on his face. ‘That’s it? “Sorry” and it’s all good?’
‘Words can have a big impact, boys,’ Captain Black said. ‘You have to think about what comes out of your mouth, because once words are set free, no matter how big or small, they have power.’
‘But we’re just joking around,’ Ibby said. ‘People call me fat all the time but I just ignore it. Like, I accept it?’
‘Why?’ Mr Archie asked. ‘You don’t need to accept anything you don’t want to.’
PJ poked his stick in the fire. ‘I don’t like it when people call me coconut. It makes me feel dumb. But I don’t want to be the guy that chucks a sook because someone says stuff.’
Captain Black stood up and walked around the campfire. ‘Mr Archie mentioned respect to you boys when we started this exercise. Did you ever thi
nk that it also extended to respecting yourselves?’
‘Self-respect doesn’t mean chucking a sook, PJ,’ Mr Archie said. ‘It’s about recognising your own power and your own worth and not letting anyone tread on that.’
‘So, what do I do?’ PJ asked. Ibby sat up, also eager to know.
Captain Black looked at Mr Archie and smiled. ‘Well, I’m glad you asked. This is the perfect opportunity to start to develop a sense of worth.’
‘At camp?’ Huss asked, dubiously.
‘At your age,’ Mr Archie explained. ‘This stage of your life is what can make or break you, what sets you apart from those who make the right choices or those who give into their anger and their disadvantages and end up trapped in the same cycle as those who went before them.’
‘So, we should talk about what’s bothering us?’ Matt asked.
‘Yes,’ Mr Archie said, looking directly at me. ‘Don’t be the lad that sweeps things under the carpet, then explodes and goes into a rage. You’ll only end up hurting yourself and your team.’
After all of that deep and meaningful pep talk stuff, it was Matt’s turn.
‘I love surfing. When I catch a wave, I feel like I’m on top of the world. It’s the best feeling being in the water.’
‘I hate the water,’ Huss said.
‘Nah, dude, I love it. It’s not just surfing for me. It’s…freedom. I feel like I can do anything when I’m in the water.’
Last but not least came Riley.
‘Um, besides chasing ghosts, I love to draw.’
‘What?’ Ibby shuddered, and hunched his shoulders. ‘Ghosts?’
‘It was a joke, Ibby.’
The boys cracked up and it was the first time I saw Riley actually laugh properly. He took off his beanie and placed it beside him. ‘You’ve all seen my hair now so I guess there’s no point in this being on my head.’
‘What do you like to draw?’ Aaron asked.
‘Mainly trees. I know it’s weird but –’ He stopped for a second, looking over at Aaron. ‘I don’t want to keep bringing it up, but when you and Hunter started, you know, I would sit under trees and just sketch. It’s what calmed me down.’
Aaron stared at the ground.
‘Part of dealing with your anger is also dealing with the guilt when you’re confronted,’ Mr Archie explained. ‘It’s your past now, Aaron. Don’t make it your future.’
We talked a little more about trying to come together as a team, about training and how it would all work. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, Mr Archie would pick up the boys from Cronulla in the morning for training and drop them back at their school. Fridays would be game day, and because our school needed help with our image, Mr Archie had fought for the games to take place at Punchbowl Park.
‘More positive news for the area,’ he said.
We headed back to our cabins and slept like the dead. We had done so many activities during the week but not one of them had been as draining as the campfire counselling session. It took a different level of strength to let people know how I felt, and then there was all the stuff the other guys had talked about. It was a lot to take in. Knowing that Aaron’s dad had died recently sort of made sense of why he had been acting like such an ass. We weren’t best friends now and we probably would never be, but I didn’t feel the need to punch him so badly anymore. Of course, Huss wasn’t convinced and thought that this comp and Aaron were both fake. He was still only here so Big Haji wouldn’t see him expelled.
The next morning, our things were packed and we were waiting for the bus when Mr Archie called Aaron and me over.
‘I know you lads didn’t get off to a great start, but I’m proud of what you shared last night. You both stepped it up and the boys responded to your open and honest leadership.’
We both nodded, trying to figure out if there was a ‘but’ coming.
‘But…’
Of course.
‘But I must say that during the work on Ben’s farm, I thought you lads were going to break and confess you brought the firecrackers,’ he said. ‘I’m not going to lie, I’m impressed.’
‘Impressed with what? We didn’t do it,’ I said.
Aaron agreed. ‘We were all sleeping.’
Mr Archie nodded a few times and smiled. ‘I did one last sweep of the bush around Team A’s cabin. I think this belongs to one of your teammates.’
He handed me Riley’s inhaler.
Aaron and I stared at him, trying to figure out where he was going with this.
‘Let’s just say, you both now owe me,’ he said, still smiling. ‘You will have a few, shall we say, extra responsibilities, and since both of you want to be captain, you’ll have to take one for the team.’ He walked off like nothing had happened.
Without speaking to each another, Aaron and I headed over to Riley, who sat with his eyes closed.
‘I think you might need this,’ I said, handing over the inhaler. He sat up. ‘Where’d you find it?’
‘In our cabin,’ Aaron swiftly replied. ‘You must’ve left it there when you were packing.’
The bus – and crazy Beth – swung wildly into the parking lot. It looked like her driving skills hadn’t improved over the last few days.
Chapter 14
Saturday morning, I had hoped to relax and chill and sleep in my own bed. Unfortunately, Aunty Salma had other plans. While I’d been away at camp, she had decided that her mounds of luggage needed more space, so my brothers and I were forced to vacate our room and cram themselves into Feda and Amira’s room. Abdul and Saff shared an old mattress on the floor. My bed was made out of different couch cushions from the living room, which slipped and slid around on the cold tiles during the night. It was ’aab – rude – not to accommodate guests, my parents said, even if it meant my brothers stepped on me during the night every time they went to the toilet.
Welcome home, Tariq.
‘My bed is literally being used for her makeup,’ I said to my brothers as I tried to fix the cushions back in place with a fitted bedsheet. ‘Why didn’t you guys fight back?’
‘Tozz feek,’ Abdul said, annoyed. ‘While you were off on holidays, we had to totally rearrange the house and set up the perfect lighting for her billion selfies.’
‘So we have to sleep like this until she leaves?’ I protested. ‘How the hell did she bring everything over here in the first place?’
‘I’m sleeping!’ Feda snapped.
‘Alright, alright, stop yelling.’ Saff tried to calm things down.
‘We have to get up anyway. I think we’re taking Aunty Salma out.’
Without warning, Amira jumped from her bed and landed on me, her knee driving deep into my guts.
‘Seriously, Bob?’
‘Me and Uncle Charlie have almost sold out of our jars of honey,’ she said, her hair tangled around her like a lion’s mane. ‘Khorloo said that you can sell some at school.’
‘Huh? How am I supposed to sell black market honey at school for that crazy embarrassment of an uncle? A pillow came flying across the room and hit me in the face.
‘Don’t talk about Khorloo that way,’ Feda said, now awake. ‘He does a lot for you.’
Another two pillows flew my way. ‘Don’t be a gronk,’ Abdul said.
‘He’s been copping enough shit from Aunty Salma without getting it from you, too,’ Saff added.
‘Yeah, yeah, but I don’t have time to help him out. There’s this footy comp and the poetry thing on top of everything else. Bob, you know I would, but I don’t have time to sell honey for your business.’
She crossed her arms and scrunched her face. ‘You’re not my favourite anymore.’
Abdul and Saff popped up from their mattress, each trying to take the newly-vacated spot as Bob’s favourite.
‘Ya Allah, fine!’ I said, giving in. ‘Alright, I’ll help you.’
She kissed my face a few times before bouncing onto Feda’s bed. ‘He said yes,’ I heard her whisper.
‘No one can sa
y no to you, habibti,’ Feda whispered back.
Now that Aunty Salma had settled in, it was time to take her sightseeing using my parents’ ‘List of Places to Take Imported Lebanese Family’. On today’s agenda was the Royal Botanic Gardens.
The morning was as crazy as usual, with Mum in a panic and Dad trying to stuff the car with unnecessary things. We fought over the bathroom, and Amira clawed her way through to get in there first.
‘I’ll sneak you some Nutella.’ Abdul tried to strike up the first bargain in the weekly bathroom negotiations.
‘Don’t listen to him, Bob,’ Saff said. ‘He can’t even reach the cupboard.’
‘I’ll take you to Bunnings to sniff the fumes in the paint section,’ I offered.
No movement. Weird, because that usually worked.
‘C’mon Bob. I already said I’m going to help you sell some honey,’ I tried once more.
Feda pushed me out of the way. ‘Step aside, you morons. Bob, I’ll let you wear my makeup and help you straighten your hair.’
‘That’s the dumbest deal ever,’ I said, trying to inch closer to the door. ‘You know she hates that stu –’
Amira opened the door just enough to pop her head out. ‘With glittery stuff on my eyes, too?’
We stared at her in shock.
‘Some boys said I look like a boy.’ She opened the door a little more. ‘They said my head looks like a football.’
‘Who are these boys?!’ Saff demanded.
‘Where do they live? What do they look like?’ Abdul added. ‘We’ll kill ’em!’
Feda rolled her eyes. ‘Chill out, they’re eight-year-olds.’
‘But why does she like girly stuff now?’ Saff asked.
Abdul shook his head. ‘It’s too early for Bob to be into that stuff. Next minute, she’ll be on Instagram.’
‘Relax,’ Feda said. ‘It’s just some makeup. It’s not going to hurt anyone.’
While my brothers and Feda argued about what Amira should and shouldn’t like, I leaned closer to the door. ‘I’ll speak to Ibby, PJ and Huss, and we’ll make sure those boys never tease you again, okay?’
We all eventually managed to get dressed while Aunty Salma painted her nails. Abdul and Saff were furious because my parents made them wear the same red Adidas shirts and black shorts. It was my dad’s latest genius move to establish peace in the house.