by Rawah Arja
I saw Feda stiffen. Abdul and Saff gave me a look to shut my mouth. My brothers fought and pulled pranks like little kids, but they were quick to shut me down when I went too far, as I knew I had just done.
‘What?’ I said, defensively. ‘She started it.’
‘I’ve made something of myself, Tariq,’ Feda said in a cold voice. ‘And guess what? I didn’t need someone to come along and whip me into shape. Let’s see how far you get. You and your mates are hanging on by a thread.’
‘What’s your problem? Is it that time of the month?’
Her face tightened. ‘What did you just say?’
‘You heard me.’
‘Hey! Watch your mouth!’ Saff intervened, standing up. ‘Don’t talk to her like that.’
My parents hurried inside to see what was going on, drawn in by our raised voices. Abdul wasted no time dobbing me in. Mum looked at me with disappointment. ‘Why? What kind of animal language is this?’
Aunty Salma put her arms around me. ‘You were very mean to your sister.’
‘What kind of man say things like this?’ Dad demanded. ‘Say sorry and hug her.’
‘Baba, please. I’m not a kid, and I don’t want him to touch me.’ Feda kept colouring labels like she wasn’t bothered, but I could see her hands were shaking.
Dad came closer and jabbed me on the forehead. ‘How many times I say don’t say bad stuff to Feda? Is your brain not work? What kind of man are you?’
‘Alright, sorry,’ I muttered. Feda didn’t look at me.
‘You’re lucky I didn’t use belt but you have game tomorrow,’ Dad said. ‘If I hear bad talk from you ever again, you see. You see what I do.’
I barely got any sleep that night. Not only did the couch cushions move around on the floor, but I could feel the anger still radiating off Feda and filling the room. I knew I’d lashed out unfairly at her, but I didn’t know how I was supposed to make it right.
The next morning, I took Amira to school as usual.
‘You watching me today with the monkey bars?’ Amira asked as we walked through the gates. ‘I think I can do it now.’
‘I’m sorry, Bob, not today. I’m late already for school and it’s game day.’
We hadn’t had training yesterday because Mr Archie and Mr Ahmed got called into an early meeting with some of the men in suits, so it looked like we had to play our first game with only the one disastrous training session as a team.
‘Hey, football head!’ I heard one kid yell as I was about to leave.
I turned back to see a bunch of boys beside the playground equipment pointing and laughing at Amira. She fumbled with her glasses and shuffled behind me. ‘That’s them,’ she whispered.
‘Stay here.’ I stalked over to the little shits. ‘That’s my sister you’re teasing,’ I said through gritted teeth. ‘If I hear you’ve teased her one more time, I will end you.’
They stopped laughing.
‘We’re telling the teacher,’ the kid in the middle of the pack said. ‘You can get into trouble.’
I bent down to his level. ‘See that tree over there? I’m going to hang you by your shorts, each and every single one of you, if you go near her again. That’s how much I care about you telling the teacher.’
I headed back to Amira. ‘They’re not going to bother you again,’ I assured her. ‘They’re not allowed to say that stuff to you.’
She looked at me strangely. ‘Thanks, Tariq. But…’
‘But what?’
‘Why do you get mad when those kids are mean to me, but you say mean things to Feda?’
I was staring at her, speechless, when a kid accidentally walked right into me and fell over.
‘Jehad?’ I said helping him up to his feet. ‘You alright?’
He fixed his glasses as Amira explained, ‘My brother took care of those bullies. We can play now and they won’t tease us.’
‘Really?’ he asked me. ‘What did you say to them?’
‘Yeah, what did you say to them?’ I heard a familiar voice repeat behind me.
Jamila stood there in her green uniform dress and a pair of blue-framed sunnies. ‘Don’t tell me you told off a bunch of eight-year-olds?’
‘Oh hey,’ I said, trying to be cool. ‘Nah I just said that they needed to be respectful, especially because Amira is a girl and that’s no way to speak to girls.’
Amira piped up again. ‘But yesterday with Feda, you –’
I nudged her in the back to shut her up and spoke loudly to distract Jamila. ‘Especially because Amira can’t defend herself.’
Jamila smiled at Amira. ‘Oh, I don’t know about that. Looks like Amira can defend herself perfectly well.’
I held my breath, praying Amira would keep quiet. Thankfully, she was shy around strangers and clammed up when Jamila spoke to her directly. Instead, she grabbed Jehad by the hand and they ran off to the play equipment.
Jamila adjusted her bag on her shoulder as she gazed after them. ‘They started with Jehad too, and teasing him about his glasses. I told him that he needed to be strong enough not to let them get to him, and to tell a teacher if things got out of hand.’
‘What?’ I asked, shaking my head. We were both walking towards the gates. I knew I was running super late to school, but I wasn’t going to pass on an opportunity to spend some time with Jamila. ‘He should fight back. This whole telling-a-teacher business doesn’t work.’
‘I disagree, but also, that’s not the point,’ she argued. ‘The point is helping him to develop a thicker skin and teach him that no matter what words people throw at him, they don’t reflect who he truly is unless he lets them.’
I opened the gate for her and caught the time on my watch. 8:51 a.m.
‘Oh man, I’ve got to go,’ I said reluctantly. I still had to pick up my gear and head to Punchbowl Park for the game.
She smiled and tucked her sunnies on her head before walking off in the opposite direction. ‘I’ll see you later.’
I made it to Punchbowl Park in the nick of time. All the schools and coaches had arrived to play the first round of the comp. Bright orange banners that read rugby league schools competition 2020 were scattered around the park, with freshly painted footy fields marked out. I didn’t expect it to be so serious with real referees umpiring our games and each team with their very own flag.
‘You’re late, bro,’ Ibby called out. ‘You’re the captain and you’re late.’
‘Shut up, man. I had to take Bob to school.’
Mr Archie was talking to some of the other school coaches and I noticed Mr Wilson and the A Team on the opposite side of the field. Keeping distance between us was probably a good thing. If Hunter came anywhere near me, I didn’t think I would be able to control myself, and I was in enough trouble with Mr Archie and Mr Ahmed already.
Matt and Riley stretched and Lee ran along the sidelines to warm up. Ibby and PJ tackled the blue pads with Mr Ahmed, while Huss lay on the bench, listening to his music. He hadn’t been at school for the last two days, but when I asked him where he’d been, he vaguely said he needed to ‘take care of a few things’.
‘So is he just going to sit there and not at least warm up?’ Aaron asked as he tied his laces. ‘Can we rely on Huss to play properly in the team?’
‘He’ll play,’ I said, still watching him. ‘I know Huss. He’ll never give the game away.’
‘How are we going to do this?’ Aaron asked. ‘You captain first half and I’ll do second?’
‘Okay, lads. I need you all sitting down,’ Mr Archie called out from beside the posts before I could answer. ‘I need to go through a couple of things.’ He had a whispered conversation with Mr Ahmed before they both nodded.
‘There’s been a change of plans,’ Mr Ahmed said. ‘I know we said Aaron and Tariq will co-captain, but upon reflection, we think that might get tricky, especially since we’ve only had one training session together.’
I felt my heart sink. When Mr Archie looked at me, I knew it
was all over.
‘Aaron will be your captain. You will follow his orders on the field and listen to his plays.’
Ibby and PJ’s eyes grew wide.
‘But, sir,’ Ibby began, ‘Tariq is really go–’
‘It’s not up for discussion,’ Mr Archie interrupted bluntly.
My throat felt like I was swallowing a brick. He’d seen me all week, but he’d chosen to strip me of captain in front of everyone right before our first game. He was making a point, and all I could feel was a rising tide of anger. I turned to Huss, who shrugged as if to say I should get over it.
‘It’s just a stupid comp,’ he whispered. ‘Like you even care about it enough to be upset.’
I wanted to snap at him that he’d screwed me over with his tantrum at practice, but Mr Ahmed was talking again.
‘You’ll be playing Team A for your first game,’ he said. ‘We don’t need to remind the Punchbowl boys of their contracts, and we don’t need you Cronulla boys messing around, either. Your principal assures me that any of you will be suspended for any violence.’
Five minutes to kick-off.
When the others went back to their warm-ups, I followed Mr Archie, who was setting up a table with water bottles and orange slices.
‘Why wouldn’t you just tell me at school?’ I demanded. ‘You waited to embarrass me in front of everyone.’
He didn’t even look at me. ‘You need to stop being so preoccupied with how embarrassed you are, Tariq.’
‘Why am I being stripped of the captaincy?!’ I was putting all my energy into not shouting at him. ‘You know I’m a good captain. I bet if Aaron was from here and not Cronulla –’
At that, Mr Archie, whipped off his sunnies. ‘Don’t start that nonsense with me, Tariq. You lost captain because you pretended to be a leader.’
‘Yeah, maybe at the beginning I didn’t care, but now I do. I didn’t know anything about you and thought you just wanted to make our lives miserable so I wanted to get you off my back.’
‘Stop using where you come from as your excuse, Tariq,’ Mr Archie said, his lips pressed together in disgust. ‘You don’t get to decide that you’re serious now just because I took away something you wanted. You either take things seriously, and care, or you don’t.’ He turned back to the table. ‘The decision is final. Aaron is your captain. You support him on the field and do your job.’
My job! That was all anyone could talk to me about these days. My blood was boiling and talking to Mr Archie was like talking to a brick wall. I tried to appeal to Mr Ahmed, but he also told me he was disappointed.
‘And what makes it worse Tariq is that you’re the BBL,’ he said. ‘What kind of example are you setting?’
I hadn’t realised how things could blow up in my face like this. I stalked back to the rest of the team, fuming, ready to punch Aaron in the face if he seemed even the slightest bit smug.
‘Don’t fly off the handle,’ Riley advised, strapping on his headgear. ‘Maybe it’s just a test from Mr Archie to see how badly you really want to be captain.’
I sat on the bench and felt the energy drain out of me. ‘Everything is a fucking test with that guy.’ My chest was tight and my eyes burned. I just wanted to pack up and head home, but I knew that would just make a bad situation worse.
Huss sat next to me. ‘Seriously, though, why are you losing your mind over something that’s so dumb? Who would want to be captain of this team anyway?’
‘You don’t get it,’ I said, watching the boys warm up. ‘I want this now. I want to be captain. I deserve it, and I’m a better captain than Aaron.’
Huss looked at me consideringly. ‘I’ll take care of it. Just watch me on the field and I’ll make sure you’re the captain for the next games.’
I stood up and shook my head. ‘I don’t need anything from you. You already screwed me over once. Just back off and play the game.’ He looked as though I had slapped him in the face as I walked away.
The A Team ran onto the field with black marks smeared across their faces like war paint. They grunted and shoulder-charged each other, geeing themselves up for their first match.
‘Ya Allah! Not these hayawanaat again,’ Ibby said, annoyed.
‘You know my surfboard was stolen?’ Matt told us. ‘It’s all ramped up again since camp.’
‘Hasn’t it been stolen before?’ PJ asked. ‘Do you guys not lock your houses in those richo suburbs?’
‘I was at the beach. I left it to get some water and when I came back, it was gone.’
‘Why you telling us this?’ Huss said. ‘We’re not here to save you or Riley or anyone from your area.’
Matt chewed his fingernails. ‘Why are you pissed again? Relax, I’m just telling you guys what happened. I’m not asking for anyone to save me.’
‘Enough chat,’ Mr Archie called out. ‘Let’s go, on the field now!’
Hunter and his team lined up with their arms across each other’s shoulders as the referee explained the rules. Hunter mouthed the word freak at Riley before looking at me with a smirk.
‘Twenty-five-minute halves,’ the referee said. ‘Keep it clean and good luck.’
The teams broke away, but Hunter and I were still glaring at each other.
‘I know what you’ve done to Riley and Matt,’ I said.
‘Prove it,’ he said, his chest puffed out. ‘Isn’t that what you guys said after you trashed our cabin?’
He stepped a little closer, nostrils flared. ‘You dirty terrorists will get your day, too. Just wait and see.’
Lee came between us and pushed me gently by the shoulder. ‘Not now. Coaches are watching.’
‘Piss off, Noodles. Your time is coming, too,’ Hunter said, before running off and calling his team for one last huddle.
Aaron did the same. ‘I know we haven’t trained together much, but let’s just think of it as some backyard footy. I know Hunter wants to get under our skin, but let’s be smart.’
Huss yawned loudly before walking away, not listening to the rest of Aaron’s pep talk.
‘Huss, I haven’t finished,’ Aaron called, but Huss kept on walking. Aaron’s captaincy skills were slowly falling apart and the game hadn’t even started. ‘He’s your mate,’ Aaron said to me. ‘Make sure he does his job.’
‘That’s your job, captain,’ I said. ‘He’s your problem.’ It may not have been Aaron’s fault that I’d been demoted, but I’d be damned if I was going to help him take the job that should have been mine.
The game began with Aaron kicking off. The A Team looked like a solid unit with every player getting into their position quickly. It was as if they had been one team for years. Hunter ran straight and hard towards Riley, who was smashed down before Ibby and I could make the tackle.
‘Nice headgear,’ Hunter sneered as he roughly rubbed Riley’s head.
They played the ball quick and fast and made a couple of breaks, but not enough to get past the try line. Mr Archie yelled at us from the sidelines but we didn’t understand a word he said. Anytime he was angry, his Irish accent became thick and incomprehensible.
Unlike their strong sets and long gains, our team looked like a bunch of blindfolded people running to catch a ball. Matt struggled to hold onto tackles and Lee was pushed to the ground a few times. Aaron called out instructions, which Huss completely ignored, and eventually the A Team scored two tries.
‘Huss, play the game properly,’ I shouted in Arabic. ‘Stop messing around.’
‘You said you wanted to be captain,’ he replied, also in Arabic. ‘I’ll help you.’
‘Not like that, Huss! Just play the game. I’ll take care of being captain.’
There were five minutes left to the half when we had our closest chance to score. Riley played the ball from dummy-half and passed it to Huss, who ran down the line. Aaron and I chased in support, but Huss chose to go at it alone instead of passing and got taken out.
‘I was free!’ Aaron shouted, throwing his hands in the air. ‘I
called out to pass.’
‘Why would you do that, Huss?’ I asked.
Huss brushed off his clothes and walked back to defence. ‘Tell him if he speaks to me like that again, I won’t be responsible for what will happen.’
‘You better warn him,’ Aaron said to me. ‘I let it go at training, but he’s really pushing it. You said he wouldn’t throw away the game!’
I was sick of being the go-between for Huss and Aaron. The first half had come and gone and we still had no points on the board. It was fourteen-nil and we didn’t even look close to scoring. We sat on the sidelines, out of breath and muddy while the A Team did a couple of drills on the field.
‘If you lads don’t get it together and start acting like a team, you will spend every morning with me until you get it right,’ Mr Archie warned. ‘Aaron, I need you to command more on the field. Take control.’
As much as I appreciated seeing Aaron fail as a captain, it meant that we were about to lose to a team that called us dirty terrorists, had vandalised Riley’s house, threatened Lee and stolen Matt’s things. This whole day was a nightmare and for the first time ever, I would rather have been benched than be on the field. The second half went exactly like the first: we dropped the ball, we fought and argued with each other and Huss continued to act as though Aaron wasn’t the captain.
The final score was a completely pathetic 20–0.
The A Team celebrated, shook only Aaron’s hand and walked off the field. Mr Archie was speechless with anger and headed off to watch the last ten minutes of another school’s game. I took off my jersey, lay on the ground and was trying to catch my breath when Aaron came to stand in front of me, his jaw clenched.
‘Huss ruined so many chances,’ he said. ‘Why is he even here?’
I opened my eyes, annoyed. ‘Why don’t you ask him?’
‘He’s your mate. Why don’t you do something? I know he’s doing this stuff so you can be captain.’
I stood up. ‘Bro, get out of my face before I break yours.’
He didn’t move. ‘Do something about Huss. I’m serious. I don’t know about you, but I want to win and I don’t want to get smashed like that again.’