by Teague, AS
I’d wanted to say that so many times in my life, but I’d never done it because despite everything, I just wanted them to be proud of me. I just needed their approval. But Mel was right. If they couldn’t be proud of me, if they couldn’t celebrate my accomplishments and mourn my failures with me, then why did I care so much what they thought?
You know who did care about me?
Melanie Holstein.
I was a miserable bastard who honestly couldn’t even stand myself, and yet the woman whom I’d spent years playing cat and mouse with showed up every damn day to check on me. Despite that, the missed connections and ill-timing of it all, she had been right here by my side from the moment I’d been injured. So, why the hell was I so hell-bent on gaining the approval of my family when I had a woman and friends who were more than willing to support me?
Quinn and Griff had texted me non-stop, the messages and calls endless. I’d ignored them, because I was pathetic and couldn’t stomach the thought of team phone calls or discussing their games. It was selfish, because I knew that they were worried about me, but I just didn’t have it in me to hear the pity in their voices, the sadness in their words as they tried to tap dance around what the doctor had said.
But when the phone rang by my bed and I saw Quinn’s name flash across the screen, I decided that I’d been a coward long enough. I sucked in a deep breath and hit the button to connect the call.
“Hello?” I said, my voice gravelly.
“Well, holy fucking shit!” Quinn nearly shouted. “You’re not dead.”
“Yeah, yeah,” I grumbled. I deserved whatever shit he was about to sling my way.
“You okay?”
It wasn’t what I was expecting, so it caught me off guard, and before I could stop it, the truth tumbled from my lips. “Not even a little bit.”
“What are you more upset about? Your career or Mel?”
My brows shot up. “How the hell do you know about Mel?”
He chuckled, a deep rumble across the line. “Come on, man. You know that shit gets around.”
“Yeah, well, I’d have to say that the more pressing issue is the fact that I’m never gonna play again, not my failed love life.”
“Without your career, your love life is all you’ve got left,” he shot back.
“Gee, thanks. Glad I answered your call.”
He cleared his throat. “Look, man. I’m just shootin straight with you here. You knew the moment you got hit that you were done; you just refused to admit it to yourself. I get that. I do. If it were me in your shoes––”
“Yeah, but it’s not. You’ve still got years left to play.”
“An injury could happen to anyone of us guys at any moment, so don’t give me that bullshit. If I were in your place, I would feel the exact same way you do. The only difference is, I wouldn’t have a woman at my side, pushing me to continue on. So, get your head out of your ass and make things right. You can’t change what happened on that field, but you damn sure can change what happened between you and the woman who you’ve been after for years.”
Fuck, I hated it when Quinn was right.
He was an old soul. His childhood had been damn near unbearable. His mother had taken off when he was a kid, leaving him and his younger sister, Jamie, alone with their asshole father. He’d had talent, but because he’d lived in a poor town, there weren’t many opportunities for him to be noticed by scouts. He’d worked two jobs from the moment he was old enough to hold one to pay for college, and from there walked on and landed a starting position.
He’d become fast friends with Griff, both of them coming from similar backgrounds, and because Griff and I were roommates, I’d gotten to know him. He hadn’t liked me at first. I’d been too outspoken, too arrogant, too everything that he wasn’t. But Griff had somehow convinced him to give me a chance, and after that, we’d grown closer over the years. Shane and Trav were my boys, and I loved hanging out with them, but if I needed advice or someone to talk to, it was Quinn and Griff. And now that Griff was busy with Brooke and Allie, Quinn and I had only gotten closer.
“You’re right, dude, you are. But, man, I wasn’t fucking nice. I was a complete dick,” I lamented.
He clucked his tongue, and I laughed. “Jesus, you sound like an old lady.”
“Well, maybe you need an old lady to smack you upside the head. Where’s Sandy?” Everyone knew and loved my housekeeper, because she loved every one of my friends like they were her own children.
“Probably in the kitchen furiously scrubbing the countertops and trying to figure out a way to get me back to my old self.” Guilt pooled in my belly. “Mel’s not the only person I owe an apology to.”
“I accept,” Quinn smarted, and I chuckled, the first time in what felt like a week.
“Sorry I’ve been avoiding you and the guys. I just…” I trailed off.
“No need to explain, man. But maybe let the guys know you’re still alive and kickin’. I’m tired of fielding calls from Shane and Trav. Those two are relentless.”
They were brothers, not even a year apart, and both of them two of the biggest men I’d ever seen. They’d blocked for me in college, and it was the trust that I had to place in them on the field that led to our friendship off it.
Shane had been drafted to Minnesota right out of college, but Trav didn’t get picked up by a team until after the draft. The two of them had bounced around a bit over the years, but ironically, they both ended up playing for the NFC for the last three years, where they’d finally shown the league their worth. My linemen on the Packers were great defenders, but there were still times when I missed having those two brothers blocking for me.
I shook my head. None of that mattered anymore, because I wouldn’t need anyone to block for me again. I cleared my throat and told Quinn, “Yeah, I’ll call them.”
Quinn had always been pretty intuitive—maybe that came from growing up with a younger sister who depended on him for nearly everything—and he noticed the change in my voice. “Hey, man, whatever’s going on in your head, stop. Take shit one thing at a time. First thing on your to-do list is to kiss Mel’s ass and beg her to take you back.”
His teasing voice made me smile. “Take me back? I gotta beg that woman to take me in the first place. I’ve been begging her for my entire life.”
“Well, why you still talkin’ to me, then?”
“Good point. Talk to you later, man. Oh, and, uh, thanks.”
He didn’t have to ask what I was thanking him for. “Call me anytime, man. Any fuckin’ time.”
We disconnected, and before I made good on my promise, I shouted for Sandy.
She came rushing into the room and stopped short just inside the doorway when she saw the grin on my face.
Her own wrinkled face split wide. “Aiden, dear.”
I held my arms out, and she rushed into them, gathering me against her chest. “Honey, I was so worried,” she murmured into my hair.
“I’m sorry, Sandy.”
She pulled back but didn’t release her hold on me as her warm brown eyes met mine. “I love you like you’re my son, you know?”
I nodded. Sandy didn’t have any children, just a niece and nephew. She’d never married, which made her becoming my full-time housekeeper and nanny all the easier. But over the years, she’d become so much more than that to me, and I knew that I had become the child she’d always wanted.
She continued, “So, I’m going to tell you something that I would tell my son and not my employer.”
Oh, here it comes. “What’s that?”
“We are all allowed to have bad days. We are allowed to scream and cry and curse the gods for all of the injustices we face. But a bad day does not equal a bad life.” She smiled warmly and squeezed my shoulders. “And, honey. You have a great life. Even though one part of your life may be coming to an end, there is still so much in it that is good. And if you’re not careful, you’re going to let the good things in your life slip right through your
fingers… again.”
“I know,” I said, my head hung low like a scolded child.
She tipped my head up and arched a brow. “Well, I’ve said my piece. And that’s all I have to say, so why don’t you let me make you some breakfast and then help you to the shower?”
“Breakfast sounds great. But I think I can get myself to the shower today.”
Her grin stretched even wider. “That’s my boy.”
She gave me one more hard squeeze and loud kiss on the top of the head and then bustled out of the bedroom to get to work on fixing me something to eat.
I swung my feet over the side of the bed and stretched, the muscles that I’d barely used the last few days aching in protest, my knee throbbing.
I picked the phone back up and pulled up the text thread. I didn’t know what to say to Mel to make things right with her, but I knew that I had to try.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Mel
It had been four days since I’d told Aiden that I wasn’t going anywhere. I’d gone by every day to check on him, had spent time getting to know Sandy and reassuring her that Aiden would find a way to get past this, and made sure not to press him when he grunted responses at me.
I’d told him that I would give him the time and space that he needed, and if I couldn’t hold up my end of the bargain, then I couldn’t expect him to hold up his end either. I’d give him as much time as he needed as long as he wasn’t telling me to leave.
But with every day that passed that he was still wallowing in misery, my heart broke a little more for him. I wanted nothing more than to be able to wave a magic wand and fix his leg so that he could play again. I’d worked so hard to ensure that my small part of his recovery would be the best that it could be, so that maybe there would be a chance. But it hadn’t been enough, and now he faced the rest of his life with a career that was cut short by nothing more than a freak accident.
But I’d meant what I said; I would be his proverbial punching bag if that was what he needed, because I knew that his anger wasn’t really aimed at me. It was aimed at the situation, and God knew that I’d dealt with frustrating circumstances in my life. I knew what it felt like to have your world turned upside down and I couldn’t stay angry at him for having a hard time dealing with his new life.
I’d woken up that Friday morning, showered, and gotten ready to head to Aiden’s for my daily visit when my phone buzzed with an incoming text.
Aiden: My physical therapist quit.
My lips twitched, and I fought the urge to outright grin.
Me: I believe you told her to leave.
I carried the phone with me as I padded into the kitchen for coffee, and I’d barely poured my cup when it buzzed with his response.
Aiden: That wasn’t me. That was some asshole who looked like me.
Memories of that night came flooding back to me.
Me: He wasn’t all bad…
I watched as the text bubble appeared and disappeared for the better part of five minutes and finished my coffee. Finally, his message came through, and it wasn’t nearly as long as I expected it to be.
Aiden: Well, I still feel bad for what he said. You think I could make it up to you with dinner at my place tonight?
I breathed a sigh of relief. I’d been doing the right thing, giving him the space he needed but letting him know that I was still there and wasn’t going anywhere.
Me: I don’t know. What’s on the menu?
He could have said that it was going to be an all cheese buffet, and I still would have gone, but I laughed when I read his response.
Aiden: No clue. But there will be a hearty serving of ‘I’m sorry’ for dessert.
Me: Oh, how did you know that was my favorite?
Aiden: Be here at six.
Me: What, no limo this time?
Aiden: I could arrange that if you want.
Now, he was groveling. I considered it for a brief second, making him really work for me again, but he’d been through enough. He didn’t need me being a bitch on top of it all. And I didn’t need a limo or a fancy dinner. I just needed him.
Me: Nope. I’ll see you at six.
* * *
I took extra care getting ready for the evening and had decided that since dinner was at his house, casual was probably the way to go. I’d pulled on a pair of leggings and an oversized sweatshirt that hung off one shoulder. It was comfortable but also had just enough style that it didn’t look like I was showing up in my pajamas. Although, if we were being honest, he may have preferred that.
A few minutes before six, I pulled into his long drive, parked behind his Escalade, and climbed out, grabbing my clutch before making my way to his front door. I lifted a hand to knock when I heard yelling coming from the back of the house.
I froze.
“Landon, don’t be a jerk!” a young voice shouted. “Give it back!”
His kids were here.
Shit.
My pulse quickened and suddenly, I was nervous. Would they like me? What if they didn’t? That would be a deal breaker for Aiden, I was sure.
I debated just getting back in my car and leaving, texting Aiden that I wasn’t feeling well, but before I could do just that, the front door flew open and Sandy stood there beaming at me. “Aiden!” she shouted over her shoulder. “Mel’s here!”
She turned back and pulled me inside the door, closing it soundly behind me. “Through here, dear,” she murmured. “The boys are out back.”
I followed slowly, silently telling myself that I was being ridiculous. I was great with kids, Allie loved me, and there was no reason that Aiden’s boys wouldn’t.
Sandy led me through the expansive living room, and through the wall of windows that overlooked the backyard, I could see all three boys running around in the grass, tossing a ball around. Aiden sat on the covered patio, his leg propped up, a wide smile across his face.
It was dark, but the backyard was illuminated with lights and there was a grill smoking off to the side. Aiden turned, and the smile that was on his face grew even bigger. He motioned for me to sit beside him.
“Hope you don’t mind that the boys are here,” he whispered.
I turned my head toward him and dropped my voice. “A little warning would have been nice. I would have, I don’t know, brought them a present or something.”
He chuckled, and the sound filled me with warmth. A week ago, I wasn’t sure that I would ever hear that sound again. “They don’t need any damn presents.”
“Yeah, but maybe I need to buy their approval,” I shot back.
I looked back to where the boys were still wrestling around in the yard. They hadn’t even noticed me yet. Aiden took the opportunity to reach for my hand, but I jerked it away.
“What?” he asked.
I shook my head. “I don’t know, but, uh, maybe we shouldn’t touch each other in front of them?”
He let out a heavy sigh and then leaned toward me. “You’re overthinking all of this.”
“Well, what do you expect? I walked in blind!” I retorted. “I thought we were going to have dinner and you were going to grovel all night, and I would eventually relent and accept your apology. Now, I have to figure out how to convince your kids that I’m awesome.”
The frown that had been on his face slowly transformed into a shit-eating grin. “You thought I was going to grovel? I was expecting you to do the apologizing.”
“Me?” I snapped. “You’re the one who told me you didn’t want me. Do I need to recount the argument for you?”
He fingered a strand of my hair. “No, please don’t.”
“I can! You don’t seem to be remembering clearly.”
“I admit I was being unreasonable. But given the circumstances, I think I deserved a pass. Instead, you stood in my room and basically told me to get over it.”
“No. I didn’t tell you to get over it. I told you that you needed to find a way to move on. I was nice about it until you told me to leave.”
Aiden pushed up and slowly lowered his leg to the ground before twisting his body to face mine. “Agree to disagree?”
I didn’t have the chance to decline his ridiculous offer before the boys finally noticed me sitting there and came racing over.
“Dad! You didn’t tell us your girlfriend was coming over!” Landon said, coming to a stop in front of me.
I froze, my eyes nearly bugging out of my head, and stared at an amused Aiden.
“Well, here she is,” he said to his son. “You boys okay with Mel having dinner with us?”
All three of them nodded, and he clapped his hands together. “Great. I’ll get the burgers on the grill.”
He pushed out of his seat and grabbed a crutch before saying, “Burgers okay with you, Mel?”
I couldn’t speak but managed to nod before he sauntered off, leaving me alone with his three curious boys.
Owen sat in Aiden’s empty seat while Landon and Hunter sat on the outdoor couch opposite of me, and I racked my brain for the right words to say.
I’d met them not long ago, but it was as Aiden’s physical therapist; at least, that was what I’d thought. It seemed like he’d told them otherwise since then.
I cleared my throat and told them, “I’m not your dad’s girlfriend.”
“Dad said you were,” Landon told me matter-of-factly. “He said that the reason you’re helping him get better is because you’re his girlfriend.”
I pressed my lips together and then shook my head. “I’m helping your dad get better because I care about him, but that doesn’t make me his girlfriend.”
“But Aiden said you went on a date last week and that it was terrible, but you still had fun,” Hunter piped up, his little face lined with confusion. “If you went on a date, that means that you’re his girlfriend.”
“Nuh-uh,” Owen said. “Landon has a girlfriend, and they don’t go on dates. If you kiss a girl, it means they are your girlfriend.” Owen turned his attention back to me. “Do you and Dad kiss a lot?”