Dante vs the Internet

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Dante vs the Internet Page 7

by H. L. Holston


  “Excuse me, Mr. Moretti.”

  Dante looked up at the young man in the ‘Spock Lives’ T-shirt and said, “Sorry, I didn’t hear you.” He was still too busy staring at Chris now picking up a female fan in a sweeping bridal-like hold and dipping the woman. The lady had to be his mother’s age, but she giggled like a teenager. Dante rolled his eyes. This was supposed to be Dante’s moment, and Chris was ruining it by being all pretty and charismatic.

  This was Dante’s life: always a bridesmaid, never the bride.

  The man in front of him cleared his throat. Dante blinked and struggled to focus.

  “I know this isn’t the DVD set, but I was wondering if you could please autograph my toy model replica of the Intrepid. It took me three months to build it-”

  Grabbing a marker, Dante reached over to sign the toy, designed to look like the ship from Space Pirates, not paying attention to the guy, too busy watching Chris pose, smile and completely wow the crowd surrounding his table.

  “No, not there!” Geeky Guy exclaimed.

  Dante jumped and the marker swiped haphazardly across the toy. He swore and looked up, hoping the guy wouldn’t be too mad. Tears welled up in the man’s eyes and Dante put his head down on the table in defeat.

  Would this day never end?

  Two grueling hours later, when his autograph line had died down and Dante’s hand ached from signing, he glanced over to see Chris still going strong. Now, his partner in crime cuddled up to two of the biggest leather daddies Dante had ever seen. Normally Dante would have been ecstatic that their fan base was so diverse, but as they pulled Chris in tightly between them, Dante felt an ugly emotion rise to the top of his Neanderthal brain.

  The men looked like they’d found the Holy Grail as Chris posed for picture after picture with them and Dante could only imagine all the dirty, nasty thoughts going through their minds as poor innocent, well-meaning Christopher allowed one of the men to pick him up in a carry reminiscent of the hold Chris had done to his female fan earlier in the afternoon.

  Hey, hey, hey, that was his boyfriend! Where was that guy’s hand?

  He excused himself to the lone fan standing in front of his table and stalked over to Chris’ table, giving Katie a dark look as he passed by her.

  Dante didn’t say a thing. He just stood in front of the three men and stared. Pointedly. For a least a minute until the guy put Chris back on the ground, gently.

  Daddy #1, who resembled a buff, young, less shaved Arnold Schwarzenegger said, “Sorry. We got a little carried away.”

  His friend agreed. “He’s just so cute. Makes you want to eat him up with a very big spoon.” The look on his face said if Dante wasn’t there, he might do exactly that.

  Oh, hell no. He knew exactly how to deal with these boyfriend stealing tarts. Digging deep into his inner actor, Dante recreated the Mafia hitman he’d once played on an episode of CSI: Miami, and narrowed his eyes, hoping he looked dangerous.

  “Hands off the merchandise, gentlemen,” he lowered his voice a notch, channeling David Caruso at his most intimidating. The guy had been a bonehead to work with, but boy could he menace the hell out of a scene. Dante just needed a pair of dark sunglasses, and everything would have been perfect.

  The two men stepped away from Chris, while his friend’s favorite eyebrow went up so high it almost reached his hairline. Chris angrily mouthed the word, “Merchandise?”

  He knew he was going to pay for that later, but he’d worry about that some other time because the Horatio Caine imitation seemed to have worked. Daddy #1 stuttered. “Brad and I weren’t being serious. Honest. We were just having a little fun. Sorry.”

  However, Daddy #2 looked anything but contrite, looking instead like he’d like to oil up Chris’ body right here, right now. In response to that challenge, Dante pushed between the two homewreckers, and quickly pulled Chris into his arms.

  Time to stake his claim.

  “Have all the fun you want, boys, just not with my fiancé. He’s all mine.”

  The decibel level of the squeals that went up from the small crowd that was gathered could have shattered glass. People patted them on the backs, shouting congratulations and best wishes. Chris stared daggers at him, clearly thinking up all the ways in which he was going to kill Dante. Katie was equally as pissed if her expression was any indication.

  He had no idea what the hell had possessed him to say such a thing, but he knew there was going to be hell to pay.

  Married?

  Chapter Nine

  Once Chris had gotten over his anxiety attack, he reveled in the fun atmosphere at the DVD signing. Normally, he held himself back at fannish events, burned once by a stalker after Double Trouble had been canceled. However, Space Pirates’ fans were a different breed, so gung-ho about the show and their love for it, Chris couldn’t help but join in on their good mood.

  An older lady and her friend came up to his table and sat the DVD set down, each of them giggling like schoolgirls. They had to be his mom’s age, but they were dressed in Intrepid uniforms, each detail down to the shoes they were wearing an exact replica from the show.

  “Hello, commander,” Chris said, indicating the rank the blonde had on her uniform. “What would you like me to sign for you?”

  Her friend, the brunette squealed, a high pitch sound that caused Chris to wince, but he smiled instead, trying to invoke Dante’s fake grin.

  “Could you please sign it: ‘To Brenda, the best commander I’ve ever had?’” She whispered, as Chris had to lean closer to hear her.

  “Sure thing.” Chris grabbed the box set and signed it quickly, handing the item back to Brenda. He eyes up her friend, who held a boxset of Double Trouble season one. Chris nearly groaned. He hated that picture of himself on the front. That was the year his front teeth had fallen out.

  The brunette said, “I know this isn’t a Space Pirates’ item, but I’ve been a fan since Double Trouble first aired and-”

  “Say no more,” Chris’ smile grew wider, “I have to take care of my biggest fans, don’t I? I won’t tell anyone if you don’t.” Then he winked at her.

  She squealed again and grabbed her friend and both women jumped up and down in excitement. Chris glanced across the aisle to look at Dante, who normally was on fire at these types of meet and greets. He loved the attention and was perplexed to see his friend scowling in his direction. He waved to his fake boyfriend and the ladies in front of him let out another shriek.

  Brenda leaned in and grabbed Chris’ hand, her expression earnest. “Judy and I are so happy for Dante and you. My son is gay and was bullied in high school for being different. Your coming out is going to make a world of difference to kids everywhere in showing them it’s okay to be gay or bisexual.”

  Now Chris felt horrible about his pretend relationship with Dante. His smile faded a bit as he replied. “Thank you, Brenda. But your son is the lucky one to have a mother who is so accepting. I wish more kids had such a loving home when they came out.”

  After looking into Brenda’s warm brown eyes, Chris reminded himself to call his agency and try and set up some volunteer work with LGBTQ youth soon. Not all moms were like Brenda. And if he was pulling this scam with Dante, then he was going to have to do something in return to rectify the lie.

  Brenda pulled out her cell phone and handed it to Judy and asked, “Could I get a picture with you? Joe, my son, will be so jealous.”

  Chris stood up. “Sure,” he gestured for her to come around his side of the table and held out his arms. He’d like to think if his mom were still alive, she would have been as supportive as Brenda if he’d really come out. She’d moved out to Hollywood with Chris when he’d landed Double Trouble after a nationwide talent search, never complaining about being a stage mom as a second surprise career. Chris’ dad had stayed in their small hometown running the family farm, visiting only during holidays. His mother had given up so much so Chris could have his acting career.

  He hugged Brenda extra t
ight, marveling at her love for her son.

  A couple of photographs later, Judy and Brenda were on their way out the door and Chris smiled at the next fan in line. As two huge leather men strolled up to his table, Chris smiled brightly. He’d always been happy Space Pirates had such diverse fans and had been a trail blazing show to have Dante’s character reveal he was pansexual in episode two of season one. They’d won a GLADD Award that year.

  “How can I help you, gentlemen?” Chris asked.

  The big blond one laughed and said, “I could make a list?”

  Chris laughed. “Should I call you ‘sir?’”

  His friend roared. “He’s got your number, Todd.” He moved closer to Chris and said, “Could we get a picture with you? All our friends will die once they hear what happened today!”

  He stood up and moved from behind his table to squeeze between the two men. Chris was no slouch in the height department but next to Todd and his friend, he felt small. As he became the meat in their rather large sandwich, he glanced over at Dante, who appeared to have trouble with one fan who held up his line.

  He waved but got a grimace in return. Chris dropped his hand and instead he turned to Todd and said, “So, do I get a toaster for coming out?”

  Todd grinned like a shark. “Baby, you can have whatever…or whomever you want!”

  Chris smirked and said, “Let’s make all your friends jealous. Picture time!”

  As he took multiple pictures with Todd and his boyfriend, Brad, Chris realized Dante was right, their fans were fun. He didn’t know why he’d been so nervous about coming today.

  Chapter Ten

  Chris arrived home before he did. His big SUV parked in the middle of the driveway, leaving Dante no choice but to park in the street. The spiteful move was uncharacteristic of Chris, but then Dante had never pulled such a dumb stunt before, so maybe he deserved it.

  He opened the front door cautiously. Chris looked up from his position on the living room floor; he grimaced in Dante’s direction and went back to playing tug-of-war with Pirate. Chris ignored Dante for a solid ten minutes, making his point very effectively by telling the dog -- repeatedly -- what an “asshole” Dante was.

  “Are you ever going to talk to me again?”

  Chris didn’t reply, instead asked the dog, “Did you hear that, Pirate, because I didn’t.”

  A couple more minutes of being ignored and Dante finally broke down. He wasn’t too proud to beg. He dropped down next to Chris on the carpet. “I should have asked you before I announced we were engaged. You didn’t agree to that and I’m the worst friend in the world for blindsiding you.”

  Chris didn’t say anything, just threw Pirate’s rope toy into the other room. They watched as Pirate chased down the toy and brought it back to Chris eagerly. The dog’s whole body shook happily, as if to say, “Throw it again!” So, Chris did just that. When the dog ran out of the room a second time, Chris stood up, his lean runner’s legs unfolding, so now he towered over Dante.

  “Apology not accepted,” Chris said, coldly. He followed the dog out of the room.

  Chris’ words hit him like a bucket of ice water. In the past, Chris had always accepted his apologies. Maybe he’d really gone too far this time. He knew he should just let Chris go and give him some time to calm down, but he couldn’t stop himself from following.

  When Dante entered the kitchen, Chris stood in front of the big picture window, arms folded. He stared intently at the kids playing in the yard across the street. His shoulders were hunched up nearly to his ears. Dante reached out, seeking to relieve the tension that Chris obviously felt.

  As soon as his hand landed on Chris’ shoulder, the other man jerked away. “Don’t touch me,” Chris spat through his teeth.

  “I’m sorry! I was just-”

  “No!” Chris held his hand up to forestall any further words. “You think you can do whatever crazy thing pops into your head, then apologize later and everything will be okay.”

  He stalked forward until his face was just inches from Dante’s. Dante had never seen Chris so angry. Face red, eyes dark and narrow, he looked to be on the edge of his control. “Well, not this time.”

  “Hey, you agreed to this!”

  “I agreed to pretend to be your boyfriend! Your boyfriend, Dante, not your fiancé. What the hell were you thinking springing something like this on me in the middle of an autograph signing and not tell me?”

  Dante put up his hands in a placating gesture. “Okay, you know I don’t plan shit. It just kind of happened...organically.”

  “Just kind of happened,” Chris mimicked Dante’s Baltimore accent perfectly. It made Dante hate Chris even more because he could do that at the drop of a hat, while Dante worked untold hours with a dialect coach to master another accent. Chris was so fucking talented. Why hadn’t this town seen that?

  During Dante’s musings, Chris carried on, obviously still incensed. “So according to you, shit just happens. You actually think that’s an excuse, don’t you?” When he was met with silence, Chris repeated, “Don’t you?”

  Dante had to admit that he did think shit ‘just happened,’ but he didn’t dare say it. He wasn’t completely stupid. So, he shrugged and smiled winningly, Charlie Sheen-style.

  “You do!” Chris stomped one foot in his anger. “Oh my god, you do! Jesus, Dante.” He squeezed the bridge of his nose and huffed. “Do you ever think this stuff through before you do it?”

  “Of course, I don’t think it through! That’s what ‘kind of just happened’ means! If I had thought it through, I wouldn’t have done it. But because I can’t build a time machine and go back and change my announcement. Can’t we just deal with it and move on?”

  Chris’ mouth dropped open, then closed, then opened again. Dante thought he looked like a stunned guppy, but he kept that thought to himself.

  “You want to move on?” Chris said. “Fine. This is me moving on.”

  He turned to leave the room, but Dante stepped in front of him. “Please don’t leave like this, Chris.”

  “Why? Are you worried how it will look in the tabloids when our engagement is called off?”

  “How could you think that?” Chris’ accusation really hurt. “I don’t want you to leave because you’re my best friend, and I don’t want to lose that!”

  “You should have thought of that before you came up with this ridiculous plan. Now get out of my way,” Chris said as he tried to push past Dante.

  There was no way Dante was going to let Chris leave the house this livid. “Not until you calm down.”

  In response, Chris shoved Dante. In trying to right himself, Dante lost his footing and slammed into the wall. He slid down it and landed hard on his ass.

  Chris’ eyes widened, but soon he schooled his features to cool indifference when it became obvious that Dante wasn’t hurt. Shaking his head, he said, “I told you to get out of my way.” With that, he turned his back on Dante and headed out of the room.

  Heat flooded Dante’s limbs and soared up into his face. He glared and Chris’ cute ass retreating, and anger flowed through his body. Low crawling across the floor, he reached out and pulled Chris’ ankle, hard. With a jerk Chris fell in a heap next to him.

  They wrestled for control; bitter words spilled from their mouths, each one more wounding than the next.

  Chris got the upper hand, forcing Dante onto his back. Through the haze of his rage, he couldn’t help recalling the last few days when they’d kissed while bickering. His dick strained against the confines of his jeans.

  Dante didn’t want to be on the bottom. With a growl, he hooked his legs around Chris’ waist and flipped him. Straddling his friend. He leaned forward grabbing Chris’ wrists and pinned them above the blonde’s head.

  He was about to call a truce when he felt Chris’ hard cock pressing against his leg. It was nice to know he wasn’t the only pervert in this screwed up relationship.

  “Well, well, what do we have here?” Dante asked in a
sing-song voice meant to torment Chris.

  Chris snarled, “Fuck you! You know it’s just a normal response to adrenaline.”

  “A normal response to adrenaline, huh? Is that what the kids are calling it now? In my day, we called this a stiffie.” Dante pressed down harder and smiled at the gasp he elicited from Chris.

  “God, you are such an unmitigated jerk. Let me go!” Chris bucked up, trying to get loose, causing Dante to issue his own gasp when Chris’ surging body brushed against Dante’s rigid cock.

  Dante let go of Chris’ wrists, but remained straddling his friend.

  The tantalizing outline of Chris’ dick pressed against the fabric of his jeans. Dante wanted to touch it so badly, and not with the quick squeeze he’d given it at The Ivy. He wanted to unzip those pants and draw it out, feel the heft of it, the silky skin. Feel it hot and slick sliding through his palm, and slowly lick at it with his tongue until Chris was a writhing mess beneath him.

  He had to bite back a moan at the thought, imagining Chris naked and hard only jacked up his own erection.

  “You want to get off me now?” Chris asked. He didn’t seem angry anymore, just spent, but Dante knew the discussion likely wasn’t over.

  “Not really. I kind of like it here.”

  “Dante.”

  “Hey, you asked. And look,” Dante said pointing down toward his bulging cock, “I’m having a normal response to adrenaline, too.” He leered down at Chris. “You want me to take care of that for you? I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.”

  “Are you fucking kidding me? You’re going with that?” Chris scoffed. “It’s a wonder you ever get laid.”

  “I get laid plenty,” Dante huffed, offended Chris thought he couldn’t get any tail.

  “I’ve seen your so-called ‘dates,’ there’s nothing to brag about unless you like the stupid and desperate type.”

  “Calling yourself desperate, Christopher?”

  “I’ll show you desperate, asshole!” Then Dante found himself on his back with Chris straddling him. A triumphant grin on his lips. Before he could ask where he’d learned that move, Chris took his mouth with a savage intensity that rocked Dante to his core. This was no timid kiss; Chris demanded a response and Dante could only surrender to the other man’s fiery hunger.

 

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