Moonlight Over Muddleford Cove: An absolutely unputdownable feel good romantic comedy

by Kim Nash

  ‘The Jack situation?’ I questioned. ‘I didn’t realise there was a situation.’ I was starting to feel hot so I loosened the silk scarf around my neck.

  ‘Well, Nellie, the way you keep fawning over him and looking at him with those big puppy-dog eyes of yours really has to stop.’ She paused for effect and linked her hands together, resting her head on the bridge she’d made.

  I gulped.

  ‘I hate to see any woman making a fool of themselves and that’s exactly what you are doing, Nellie. Fluttering your eyelashes at him and giving him those long lingering looks are not going to get you anywhere. Jack has asked me not to say anything to you, but I felt that I must. I know that I can trust you to keep it to yourself. I can, can’t I?’

  I nodded nervously, looked down and fiddled with my bracelet.

  ‘The truth is, Nellie, he’s embarrassed by your behaviour!’

  God Natalia, break it to me gently why don’t you?

  ‘He feels that he has to spend time with you when he really doesn’t want to and, quite frankly, he doesn’t have the time anyway, what with his very important job and spending time with me too. And of course, there’s all the wedding plans we’re making. He’s going to be a married man very soon. You really shouldn’t embarrass him or yourself in this way.’

  Heat rose up my body and my face felt like it was on fire. I’ve never been more mortified in my life. I felt like I was back at school with those girls being spiteful and bitchy towards me. So much so that my defence mechanisms kicked in for a short while and I squared my shoulders and took a deep breath.

  ‘I’m not sure what you think is going on, Natalia, but I can assure you that my intentions towards Jack are purely as a friend and nothing else. We share a history and that’s it. I feel nothing else towards him. And certainly nothing that you are implying.’ It hurt my heart to say these words but I knew that I had to lie here for self-preservation.

  ‘Well history should stay in the past, Nellie,’ said Natalia. ‘That’s why it’s called history. It has no place here. Jack has enough friends in his life and doesn’t need any more. He told me that he didn’t know how to tell you this without upsetting you, so I’ve done it for him. That’s what life partners do. They look out for each other. Don’t you agree?’

  For the next however long I had to sit there and be pleasant to her while I tried to eat my lunch. There had been no consideration for my feelings whatsoever. She launched into her wedding plans, even though I knew she knew that Callum and I had recently had to cancel our wedding. Talk about rubbing my nose in it. She told me how she and Jack were planning to get married later that summer, in a big stately home and have the reception in a huge marquee in the grounds. She didn’t seem to be able to shut up talking and didn’t even notice that I wasn’t that interested. I just hoped that I nodded in all the right places.

  I was surprised that Val hadn’t mentioned anything to me about the wedding. Nor Jack neither. But then she mentioned that one of the reasons no-one knew anything yet was that Jack wanted to make a huge announcement at the regatta this year about their engagement and wedding plans to surprise everyone, including his parents, and he wanted to keep it a secret until then. She made me promise to not even tell Jack that I knew anything because he’d made her agree to not telling a soul and he’d be annoyed with her if he knew that she’d shared it with anyone, and especially me of all people. Charming.

  This was one of the worst experiences of my life. It made the thought of cancelling the rest of my own wedding plans an absolute walk in the park. I decided that when I got home I would get through as many of those little jobs I’d been putting off for as long as I could.

  Natalia pushed her food around her plate rather than ate anything. I wasn’t sure whether she was just doing it to try to make me look bad, or whether it was her normal eating habit. Pushing my plate to one side, desperate to get away from this awful situation, I made my excuses. As I stood to leave, she held her arms out to me and leaned in for a hug. I didn’t get a choice of whether I wanted to join in or not. Her perfume caught the back of my throat again and I pulled away as quickly as I could so that the smell wouldn’t linger on my clothes for the rest of the day.

  ‘Oh and remind me next time I see you to show you the wedding dress I’ve chosen. I simply cannot wait for Jack to see me in it. He’s just going to adore me even more. I think you and I could be the best of friends you know, Nellie. Wouldn’t that be fabulous? Oh my God! Perhaps you could be one of my bridesmaids. Well, maid of honour, you are way too old to be a bridesmaid.’ She tittered at her own joke. ‘We’d have to get you on a diet, obvs. We’ve got plenty of time though. And we could do with getting you off to the hairdresser’s and get this mousy-brown hair of yours sorted out.’ She wrapped her fingers around my hair and tugged it slightly.

  I winced.

  ‘I’m sure they’ll be able to do something nice with the colour and maybe make it more of a style instead of it just hanging there.’ She looked me up and down. ‘Yes, I’m sure there’s so much more we could do with, err…’ She circled her finger in the air and then pointed at my body. ‘This. And your wardrobe too. You look like you’re going to a funeral in what you’re wearing today. Oh wait. You are.’ She giggled. ‘You should wear that on Monday. It’ll be perfect. But your clothes are really something we’ll have to work on. Jack is absolutely right. You really are a plain thing, aren’t you? I can’t wait to get my hands on you. Some fake tan and false eyelashes will make a huge difference for starters. Oh it’ll be fabulous. You can be my little project.’ She clapped her hands together. ‘How very exciting. I can’t wait to get started with you.’

  I had intended asking her advice about the swishing event I wanted to put together, but I was determined that after that day, I wouldn’t lower myself to ask her. I felt so sad. I had been thinking how nice it would be to have a female friend around here and how we both had Jack in common. It really sounded like Jack didn’t have the time of day for me any more. That was obviously why he had been quiet with me on the way home from the social evening. Oh well. At least that would sort out my little crush on him reasonably quickly.

  ‘I’m so glad we had this little chat to clear the air,’ Natalia went on. ‘I think it needed doing. I know you wouldn’t want Jack to feel sorry for you and feel like he has to hang around with you all the time, just because you were once the girl who used to “follow him around all the time like a little lap dog” I think his exact words were.’

  Could she make me feel any worse? I didn’t think so.

  ‘And remember, not a word to a soul. This is our little secret. I’ve so enjoyed our lunch today and the time we’ve spent together, Nellie. We must do it again soon.’

  Not bloody likely! I managed a weak smile and walked as quickly as I possibly could without tripping over towards the door as I heard her yelling behind me, in that shrill, annoying voice, that she’d call me very soon. I’d managed to keep the tears away until I’d left the table but as I walked towards the door there were tears streaming down my cheeks and I just hoped I could make it to my car before I fell into a crumpled heap. I was so hurt that Jack had said those things to her. I couldn’t believe that my Jack, –well, Natalia’s Jack now – the Jack who I’d thought was my best friend, who I’d been so happy to see after all these years, could be so cruel. I thought he had been happy to see me, but it turned out I didn’t know him at all any more. He clearly wasn’t the man I’d thought he was and clearly wasn’t the kind, gentle, lovely boy he used to be. You really do live and learn.

  Once I’d calmed down enough to open the car’s roof and start the drive back to Aunty Lil’s, I mulled over all the things Natalia had said while the wind rushed through my hair. I needed the fresh air to clear my head and blow those cobwebs and nasty words away. I realised Jack must have felt obliged to be nice to me when I’d arrived because I didn’t know anyone. I banged the side of my clenched first on the steering wheel. I was such a bloody fool.
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  What had happened with Natalia made me want to go back home to Staffordshire. I needed a hug from my best mate and maybe even her mum.

  When I pulled up onto the drive, a lightbulb went off in my head. I sent Shivani a short text asking what time she’d be free later. I’d had a moment of clarity and had made a decision which I really needed to talk through with her.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  ‘Lilian’s here.’ Dom came and put his hand on my shoulder.

  From the lounge window I could see that the hearse had arrived, with a limo following behind. I took a deep breath.

  ‘Are you OK? Ready to go?’ asked Dom. ‘You can take as much time as you like if you need a little longer.’

  ‘No, I’m ready. Let’s go.’

  It had been a strange morning. People had gathered at the house for coffee and cake before heading off to the crem. Miraculously, I’d been able to avoid Jack not only that morning but for most of the weekend too, by only going out to take Norman for a walk when Jack’s car wasn’t parked next door. He’d been hovering around me but every time he came too near I managed to find someone else to talk to. I couldn’t bring myself to speak to him. Not today. I was already teetering on the edge of tears. If anyone said the wrong thing I was pretty sure my emotions would get the better of me.

  I’d asked Dom to join me in the front row of the limo, with Jack and his parents on the seat behind. I could feel Jack’s eyes boring into the back of my head but I was determined not to turn round to look at him. Val rested her hand on my shoulder, which was a huge comfort.

  I didn’t really know how to behave today. It had been years since I’d seen Aunty Lil, and the woman I remembered was different to the one many of those attending, who had been her friends in her more recent years, knew. The celebrant had popped round at the weekend to ask if I wanted to say a few words, but I felt a bit of a fraud saying something – also at being upset – when I hadn’t made much of an effort to stay in touch with her. I was still so annoyed with myself for letting life get in the way and pass me by without making an effort to repair the rift. I hated the thought that she went to her death, with us not being in touch. I should have done something about it as I became an adult, and definitely once Mum was no longer around. My shoulders felt weighed down with guilt and, more than that, I didn’t want people to think badly of me.

  Dom squeezed my hand. He really had been so wonderful throughout this whole process and I honestly didn’t know how I would have coped without him.

  The car started to travel down the road, slowly at first, with William the funeral director walking in front, until we reached the end of Aunty Lil’s street, where he got into the hearse with the driver and the procession to the crem began. As we arrived under the archway outside of the main doors of the crematorium, and William came to open the limo doors, the sun came out from behind the clouds and bathed everyone in sunshine. At the same time, a gaggle of geese flew over in perfect formation.

  William winked at me and smiled. ‘And there’s the fly-by I arranged for Lilian. Don’t dwell on the past, my dear. The sunshine shows she’s happy that you’re here now.’

  A lump stuck in my throat. ‘You think?’ I softly asked, raising my eyebrows.

  ‘I don’t think. I know. I’ve done this before remember.’

  I smiled. What a lovely thought and what a kind man to say such a beautiful thing at a very emotional time.

  ‘Ready?’ he asked.

  I took a huge breath through my nose, held it for the count of four, slowly exhaled and nodded.

  He led us into the small room, following the pall bearers, who placed the coffin on a plinth at the front. The celebrant read out a couple of poems and some funny stories that Aunty Lil’s friends had shared and talked about how much she’d done in the community over the years, particularly for the local animal shelter. While it was a sad occasion, it was also joyful to celebrate her life. A life that was evidently full of friendship, love and happiness, judging by the number of people who were there.

  As I looked over my shoulder I came eye to eye with Jack. I swiftly averted my gaze and scanned the rest of the room. As we said our final goodbyes to Lilian Eugenie Wagstaff, the curtains closed around the coffin to the sound of ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow’, which is a song I chose because she used to sing it to me when I was a girl. I then made my way outside, where I was to meet and greet everyone who had come.

  I shook hands with so many people that I’d never even heard of, with them offering their condolences to me, when I felt as if I was the one who should be offering mine to them. Dom, bless him, never left my side and was there to introduce those people he knew, which was almost everyone. I was on the verge of tears the whole time and willed myself to stay strong.

  At the pub, Mary and Bill were waiting at the doors as the cars pulled up. As we walked to the doorway, Mary shouted in a loud voice, ‘Welcome to the Cock.’ I couldn’t help but look at Jack and his eyes were sparkling and I could see the corners of his mouth curling up. He winked and mouthed ‘nice cock’ to me and I held back an urge to laugh, covering it with a cough instead.

  Once the formalities of the service were over, the atmosphere was a little more relaxed and it was lovely to meet Aunty Lil’s friends properly and hear stories about her later years that I knew nothing about. Her Pilates teacher told me about the time she first met Lil and was right at the front of the class when she did a huge stretch and farted really loudly. Apparently Aunty Lil just giggled and carried on as if nothing had happened while the whole class fell about laughing.

  Pamela from the pet shop told me how they used to go on dog walks together. Apparently Aunty Lil would shout at mountain bikers and one time when someone had appeared right behind them on a bike and just drove through the middle of them both, scaring the dogs, Aunty Lil had yelled, ‘Use your fucking bell, you tossing arsehole.’ Pamela said that it was so out of character, and that Aunty Lil had actually surprised herself, that they fell about laughing for the rest of the walk.

  The sound of a spoon dinging on a glass made everyone turn towards the noise. One of Aunty Lil’s bowling crowd was standing on a chair.

  ‘Could I have your attention, please. I hope you don’t mind, Nell, but I’d like to say a few words.’ He wobbled and steadied himself.

  Christ. I really hoped he didn’t fall off. Leonard must have been at least ninety years old and I couldn’t even begin to think about how the hell he got up there, let alone how he was going to get down, without an army of help. I could see the headlines in the local paper: ‘Ninety-year-old dies tragically giving eulogy’.

  Leonard said, ‘Lilian was a dear friend to all of us here today and we all have so many happy memories of her. So many to talk about for years to come. She was kind and generous, warm-hearted, and always there for us all, and I know I was proud to call her my friend. I’d like you all to join me in raising a glass to dear Lilian Wagstaff.’

  ‘Lilian Wagstaff!’ Her name echoed around the room as everyone toasted her.

  ‘I know how much she loved young Nell here and I’d like to invite Nell to join me in saying a few words too.’

  Oh fuck. My heart began to pound. I really wasn’t prepared for that. Panic kicked in and my natural instinct was to seek out Jack in the room. Our eyes met across the heads and he swiftly came across to me.

  I could feel his warm breath on my neck and it made me shiver as he leant in and whispered, ‘You’ve got this, Nellie-bum! You can do it. Just breathe.’ He took my hand and helped me up onto the chair next to Leonard.

  ‘Err, thank you, Leonard. I wasn’t expecting to say anything today, so forgive me for being unprepared. As some of you know, I hadn’t been in touch with Aunty Lil for a number of years and it really is the one true regret of my life that I didn’t get the chance to correct that. I hope she’d forgive me.’ I looked upwards and started to well up.

  I looked over at Jack and remembered what he’d said – breathe. He winked at me and
my heart skipped. He’d always been there for me. Lifting and supporting me. He’d believed in me when I was a girl, when I didn’t believe in myself. He grinned. I could do this.

  ‘I just want to thank you all for coming along today. It really has been wonderful to chat to you all and find out more about Lilian’s life and I’d like you all once again to raise your glasses to Aunty Lil.’

  Once more an echo of Lil, Aunty Lil and Lilian could be heard and it was so nice that they were all here celebrating her life. I vowed to never waste time again or spend time saying I wish I’d done something. Time was something that you can never get back and life was too short for regrets. I was going to make time for many more things in my life and make wonderful memories along the way.

  Natalia came up to where we Jack and I stood and linked her arm through Jack’s, smiling sweetly at me. I seemed to be the only one who noticed that it wasn’t genuine.

  I would be friends with Jack but I would never again let a man hurt me. Not the way that Callum had hurt me by leaving, when he knew that my past was a sore subject for me, or by my dad wanting nothing to do with me, and not by the words that Jack had said about me via Natalia. It was just me now. I was an orphan. I was going to look after myself and be kind to myself. And I was going to make damn sure that I was not going to live the rest of my life full of regret. I was going to do Aunty Lil proud.

  Jack offered to come back to the house with me but I didn’t want him there. I needed to be alone with my thoughts and my memories on that very poignant day. I didn’t want anyone there to try to persuade me from doing what I was going to do next.

  For the second time in my life, I drove away from Larkspur Lane in the middle of the night. This time though, there were two letters that I had to post through doors before I went.

  One was to Dom to thank him for everything he had done for me and for being a wonderful friend to Lilian and to me. I told him I’d be in touch to sort out arrangements for the sale of the house and the beach hut.