by Kristy Marie
Sensing the newbie’s discomfort, Anniston says quietly, “Lawson, this is a safe place. We workout with our shirts off to display our scars. Our scars are badges of honor, whether they are on the inside or the outside. It’s important for you to see the strength one body can endure. Every twitch of the muscles that hold the bones steady. They are yours to control. Yours to build to be exactly what you want.”
She turns to Cade and my fists immediately clench at my sides. Cade is the hardest one for me to watch because although he knows she is mine, he wouldn’t hesitate to take her from me. He wants her. I am a dude. I know this. I also know they share a special bond. But she is, and always has been, mine. Watching her smile as she approaches Cade makes my heart ache like I’m one beat from a heart attack.
Unsmiling, his eyes are intently locked with hers.
“May I, Gorgeous?”
He nods tersely, no doubt steeling himself for the torture he’s about to endure.
She clenches the bottom of his shirt and bends her knees until her face is at his pant line.
Fuck! I am so holding back her orgasm tonight. This shit is brutal.
Inch by inch, she kisses each scar on Cade’s chest and stomach as it is revealed. His eyes drift shut and his breathing becomes harsher. Anniston wraps her arm around his back, pulling him closer to her body as she stands, but he instinctively is pulling away. Another one of his issues, I think.
It’s hard for these guys to feel loved and attractive after the hell they have been through, but she forces each and every one of them to take the love she gives them.
I, however, have no problem in this area. Wherever she wants to kiss, I am game. Whatever sweet nothings or compliments she wants to throw my way only boost my ego. Then again, I haven’t seen my entire team blown to bits in front of my eyes. I know I am not strong enough to handle that kind of trauma.
My life has been sheltered and I have mad respect for these guys, who continue to climb out of the rabbit hole and attempt to create a normal life for themselves. So, I share my girl with them, even when I want to be a jealous fuck and take her away from all this.
Cade grunts as Anniston pushes his shirt over his broad shoulder. Eyes pinched shut, he flinches when she kisses several of the angry jagged marks decorating his pectoral muscles.
“Lower,” she whispers against his heart.
He complies and kneels at her feet, lifting his arms. It’s apparent this routine is well practiced. With his chest bare, she caresses the side of his stubbled face and plants a sweet kiss to his twitching cheek. How fucking long is this going to take? Cade opens his eyes and rises, giving Anniston a hesitant smile.
She takes a step back, moving to her next victim, Lawson.
“Let me show you how beautiful you really are,” she coos at him, stroking his face lightly with her fingertips.
Lawson’s eyes close on their own.
I know, dude. That is some voodoo shit right there.
Lawson nods his consent. Ans slowly takes hold of his shirt with one hand, removing it as the other hand drags over his bare, bony chest. She doesn’t linger as she did with Cade but like I said, Cade is a special case to her.
Lawson is stripped down quickly and the guys give him an “oohrah” that he doesn’t acknowledge. He only stares forward, unmoving.
After Anniston gets the other four to strip (who have no problem, by the way), she rips off her tank top, leaving only her pink sports bra. “Begin stretching!”
Cade leads, as usual. Kiss up.
I tiptoe up the staircase, feeling pretty shitty for yelling at Cade over something I understand is difficult for him to carry out. Sleep. Since the other guys have come to live with us, we decided it was best to move everyone’s bedrooms upstairs together, turning Cade’s old room into his office. In doing that, though, Cade wakes everyone up with his nightmares.
Last night was one of the worst yet. He thrashed in my arms, screaming and threatening me to let him go. To let him leave. Honestly, with the violent sounds he was making, I was shocked Theo or the other guys didn’t burst in to help.
Cade was feral, screaming out, “I did it. I killed them because of her.” All I could do was hold him tight until the madness dissipated.
Then we ran until he stumbled, collapsing in the grass. I thought he would sleep after that, but no such luck.
So, feeling guilty or not, he needs rest.
With my ear to the door, I’m met by silence. I try the handle, prepared to retrieve my key from my jeans pocket but it’s not locked. Inside the room, I take in the well-kept space painted a masculine gray with orange accents. The walls and furniture make you feel right at home. Of all my guys, Cade is the most appreciative of his things.
Just beyond the sitting area, I take in my exhausted friend perched on the edge of the bed, head in his hands.
I take a seat alongside him and reach my arms across his shoulders and give him a slight squeeze. “How long did you sleep?”
He raises his head and meets my eyes with a weary frown. Sighing, he admits, “I didn’t.”
I rub soothing circles on his back, trying give him comfort. I hate what I am about to do next, and the way he is looking at me with dread tells me he knows he has no other options left. He’s been too long without sleep. We have gone through everything I know and I have to admit defeat and enlist medicinal help.
I stand and make my way to the small wet bar, tucked in the corner of the room. Cade tracks my movements with his eyes but doesn’t follow. Knowing he will require a little push, I request, “Come have a drink with me?”
He stares at me for a beat before sighing in surrender. His sweatpants bunch at his calves as he stands while his t-shirt screams at the seams along his expansive chest. His steps are slow with trepidation as he makes his way to the bar.
I busy myself with preparing us some chamomile tea, my favorite, and pour us a cup.
Reaching into my pants pocket, I reveal the hated blue pill. Theo and Cade loathe these. Another thing they have in common. The pill makes a clinking noise as I place it on the counter. I tip my chin to the glass of water I’ve poured him. “Down the hatch.”
Cade glares at the menacing pill with revulsion in his eyes.
“Last night was bad. You want to tell me about it?”
He shakes his head quickly. It was a long shot anyway. “No, I’m fine. It was a weak moment. It won’t happen again.”
But it will. I know it. He knows it. Love just cannot fix some things. I don’t know what all happened that fateful night in Afghanistan but I know that it changed Cade. And no matter how much it pains me to see him battle these demons on his own, I understand the need for him to work through it, keeping his secrets until he’s ready to share them with me.
“Maybe it’s time you talk to someone. I know a grea—”
“I already told you, no.”
I try not to scrunch my face in aggravation. Key word being try. “Well, excuse the hell out of me for giving a fuck about your well-being”
Cade sighs, his guilty eyes downcast. “I’m sorry. I’ll take it.”
I should be happy, wearing a victorious grin on my face. I guilt Theo into shit all the time. So why, when Cade downs the pill in one swallow, do I feel like I’m part of the problem? Allowing him to suffer in silence. Alone. With God knows what floating through his head.
“Attaboy,” I praise, but I don’t mean it. My stomach churns with the thought that I may never be able to help Cade like he needs.
I’m seconds from tears when he takes my hand with a frown, pulling me to the bed. “Come on. Let’s binge watch Fixer Upper.”
I can do that. I can love my boy, offering him my strength as he slips into the horror that controls his night. We climb on the bed, side by side, sipping our tea. Before I get too comfortable, I fire off a text to Theo. It’s Thursday, and he gets his panties in a bunch if he thinks I am bailing on him, especially with Cade.
Ans: Cade still awake. Gave him somethi
ng. Will be here a while.
Theo: The fuck? I’m starvinggggg. Can someone else rock him to sleep?
Ans: Don’t be an ass. Go get something to eat. Bring me something too.
Theo: No. Hayes and I are going to the pub to get our dicks wet.
He is so full of shit.
Ans: Sounds like a plan. Bring me a burger back. And for goodness’ sake make sure Hayes takes a condom.
Theo: You don’t want me to take a condom?
Ans: You don’t need a condom. I’m confident your assholeness will keep the whores at bay. But by all means, give it a shot. I’ll just stay in bed with Cade. All fucking night. Just in my panties.
Theo: You suck.
Ans: I’ll take my burger with everything. And fries. DO NOT EAT MY FRIES! Don’t even try to play me by lying that they fell on the floor or some shit.
Theo doesn’t respond after that. Smart boy. I toss my phone on the nightstand and snuggle down in Cade’s sheets. It’s a wonder they don’t reek of sweat, cum, and nasty balls. Oh, you have never experienced that, have you? Well, consider yourself one lucky bitch because these nasty-asses can stink up a room in a millisecond.
I sneak a glance at Cade, who is staring narrow-eyed at the TV. I quickly face away before he notices me being a mother hen. On TV, Chip is doing something absurd while Joanna is trying not to appear like she wants to knee him in the balls. The restraint this woman has is paramount. Relationship goals right there.
We are half a show in when Cade mumbles in a whisper, “Will you stay a while?”
I glance over. His eyes are heavy. The Ambien is kicking in. I take the cup from his hand and set it on the table beside mine. His head falls back against the headboard with a quiet thud.
When have I not stayed with him? For reassurance, I twine my finger with his. “Always.”
He manages a nod and I take that cue to mean he is on the verge of passing out any second now. I scoot closer and encourage him to get his legs under the sheets. By some small miracle, he complies without argument. When he’s all the way under, his head resting on a pillow, I make myself comfortable on his chest and listen to the steady thump of his heart.
Within minutes, his breathing evens out, his soft snores filling the room. Thank heavens.
I get through two more episodes of Fixer Upper before Theo texts me with his impatience.
Theo: Did the princess finally fall asleep?
Ans: Yep. Got my burger and fries?
Theo: I got the burger. All out of fries though. Who would have thought?
Ans: For your sake, I hope that’s not the case.
Theo: And you better come the fuck down here before I lose all my patience.
Ans: You are such a drama queen.
Theo: 5
Ans: You are stupid.
Theo: 4
Ans: Theo, Seriously?
Theo: 3
Ans: OMG
Theo: 2
Ans: OK, fuck! I’m coming.
I ease out of bed and pull the sheet farther up to cover Cade’s chest. He’s sleeping soundly now. With a light stroke to his forehead, a feather of a kiss to his cheek, I wish him sweet dreams.
I take one glimpse around the room, making sure everything is in order before I hurry down to Theo. These guys need order. It’s pivotal to their therapy and integration back into society. I like to make sure they have stability at all times, even if it’s just knowing their room is tidy.
Without wasting too much time debating, I leave the TV on and place the DO NOT DISTURB sign on the handle before grabbing our cups. If he wakes, it may give him some comfort and help lull him back to sleep.
Two steps at a time, I hurry down to the kitchen. My stomach has been grumbling for the past hour. Damn Theo, taking his sweet-ass time bringing me food.
Downstairs, I am greeted with chaos. I would like to tell you we all sip wine and read a book by the fire every evening, but who am I kidding. I live with six men. If they aren’t yelling at the TV about some dipshit fumbling the ball or how the other team sucks balls, they are hollering profanities at each other for being pussies. Trust me, it’s always loud in here.
I glance in the den, where I see Vic and Mason going head-to-head with some kind of video game.
“Fuck yeah, pussy! How you like them apples? Go ahead, bend over for Daddy.”
See what I mean?
“Shut the fuck up, cunt.”
I poke my head in farther and make a tsking sound. “You boys better tone down all the pussy and cunt talk. It’ll make me horny.” I flash them a smile and they bark out laughter.
In the kitchen, Theo and Hayes are engrossed in something on Theo’s phone.
“Y’all better not be watching porn.”
Theo’s face scrunches up in disgust. “Why the hell would I watch it when I’m about to make some?”
I roll my eyes at his crudeness and snatch the bag containing a shit-ton of calories and the best damn burger in the state of Georgia. “This mine?”
Theo nods his yes and gets back to his phone. Whatever they are looking at has them both enamored.
I shrug and pull out my greasy burger from Joe’s. Taking a huge bite, I moan with pleasure.
Theo’s head snaps up and his eyes lock with mine. “Hurry up.”
I smile devilishly and chew at a snail’s pace. Anticipation is everything and Mr. Do-it-right-now needs to learn a little delayed gratification.
He’s onto my game, though, shooting me a death glare straight out of hell.
With a mouthful of food, completely ignoring that glare, I ask, “Did you get your dicks wet?”
Hayes chokes, his head jerking up. “Were we supposed to? Because I would appreciate a redo, ma’am.”
Giggling, I finish chewing and gaze at Theo. He scowls for a second and then goes back to his phone.
“No, Sergeant Hayes, you weren’t. Although, I heard it was a possibility for tonight.”
Hayes shakes his head in confusion. Poor thing.
A growling noise comes from deep in Theo’s chest, catching my attention. He glowers at my burger, encouraging me to hurry. Someone is testy tonight.
When I take a teeny bite then lay down the burger, grinning at Theo, he springs from the table, grasping my hands before I have time to even wipe them. “That’s enough. You’re done.”
I’m over his shoulder in seconds, squealing my objections. Seriously, as quick as I woofed down that burger, it may come back up.
“Just in your panties, huh?”
Smack. My ass stings.
What? My panties? Oh, my text. You gotta love a jealous man. I hang on tight as he clomps up the stairs like some kind of Neanderthal. I hope he doesn’t wake Cade with all his shenanigans.
“I was joking, Theo.”
I pinch his butt through his sweats. It’s a phenomenal ass, if I do say so myself. Round, just like a beach ball. Each muscular cheek flexes as he climbs up the stairs with grace. It’s a magnificent sight, one I will never tire of.
“I’m not even wearing any underwear.” That comment is to push him over the edge. I love fucking with him and if it makes him crazy in lust… well, more fun for me. I anticipate some kind of growl or smack, but nothing comes. What the hell? Am I off my game?
Theo’s silent, pushing through my bedroom door. He sets me down, locking the door behind him. “I’ve had all I can take from you.”
Okay…that could mean so many things. I tried pushing his buttons several times today. He never budged. Obviously, he’s been holding it in.
He stalks me, unbuttoning his jeans as he circles me. “All that bullshit with Cade. Undressing him in front of me. Lying beside him in bed.” He approaches, humor no longer dancing in his eyes. The funny Theo is gone. I have poked the bear and unleashed the beast.
My throat goes dry as I watch him saunter closer. Holy shit, he’s so sexy.
“It’s train—”
“Don’t speak. You are done speaking for the day. Your mouth now belongs t
o me, Commander.”
His jeans are shoved to the floor in one motion. He takes a dominant step out of them, kicking them away. He’s hard, his dick glistening against his abs in anticipation of whatever kinky games he has in mind. I want to reach out and take it, feel what I do to him.
“Take off your shorts.”
He’s ordering me now. I don’t really love it but I’ll play his game. It’s Thursday, after all. I slide my shorts down, tossing them to the sofa.
He rushes me, slamming my body against the wall.
“Turn around,” he pants. He’s losing control quickly today. It excites the fuck out of me to break him on his Thursday.
I turn, facing the wall, my arms raised above my head like I’m about to be strip searched. Now there’s idea. Except this time, the punishment is pleasure.
My head is yanked back as Theo takes hold of my hair. It hurts but I don’t make a sound. He buries his face in the crook of my shoulder and neck, and glides his nose up the soft skin of my throat until he reaches my ear, causing chills to run over my entire body.
“I’m going to fuck every hole you have, Commander. And when I’m done, there won’t be anything left of you to share.”
“I love when you talk shit to me, Theo. Makes it so much more fun when you eat those words on my pussy.” The key to unleashing the animal in Theo is that, right there. Threaten to take his control. Threaten to be the one in charge. The competitor in him won’t allow a loss, I know this. I have always known what buttons to push. So, when he shoves two fingers in my mouth, cutting off my next words, I’m not surprised in the least.
“Suck. And if you say another goddamned word, I will fill your mouth with something other than smartass comments.”
His long digits wiggle and push over my tongue, gagging me several times. My eyes water with the intrusion but I stay silent, enjoying the crazy he’s giving me.
“Get on your knees, Commander.” He pulls my hair, forcing my head back as he kisses me sloppy and wet, his tongue replacing where his fingers once were.
Head swimming in desire, I lower to the carpet, on my knees as he commanded.