by Zoe Chant
Jake just never, ever did that, and it wasn't until he didn't that she realized how tensely she'd been holding herself. How prepared she'd been to argue for her ideas, all the while starting to wonder if they'd really been good ones at all. Jake never made her feel unsure of herself.
God, she wished she'd met Jake Rowly seven years ago, instead of Brent Mitchell.
That didn't matter. Noah's father was out of her life, and had been for months now. Mabs drew a deep breath, surprised at the tremble running through her, and said, "Yeah, I think it's a good idea. I think I'll feel better with this half of the house all decently roofed."
"Okay, but I gotta warn you, Mabs. If I get started on the buttery you're going to have to bodily stop me from doing all the windows."
Mabs, standing up to dry dishes, paused at Jake's side, measuring herself against his height. "Yeah," she said dryly, "I don't think I can bodily stop you from doing anything, Thor."
"Wear that outfit again and I'll forget how to nail anything."
The silence following that remark was broken by both of them simultaneously collapsing to the floor, hands thrown over their faces to muffle laughter. Tears ran down Mabs's face and shone in Jake's eyes. His cheeks were a hotter red than she'd ever seen on another human being, and he had to wipe his eyes before finally managing to whisper, "That really didn't come out the way I meant it to."
Mabs wiped her own eyes, giggling so hard she needed to pee. "I'm just gonna...I'm gonna walk away from that, because it's either the most or the least flattering thing anybody's ever said to me and if I think about it too hard I might be mortally insulted. Oh my God. I'm just gonna, like...yeah. Oh my god."
"Me too." Jake lifted a finger like he was going to try an explanation, then shook his head. "No, I'm just gonna...I think I'll call it a night now, before I make this any worse."
"Honestly I'm not sure you can." Mabs, still giggling so hard she thought she'd better cross her legs, got up and Jake, still visibly blushing, climbed to his feet, too.
"I'm pretty sure with a little effort I could," he promised. "So...yeah, I'm going. G'night, Mabs."
"G'night, Jake." Mabs saw him out, then ran to the bathroom before she peed her costume.
* * *
If someone had told her a year earlier that she would come home every night to a visibly improving house and a gorgeous man she had a side-splittingly funny in-jokes type relationship with, Mabs simply wouldn't have believed them. A few weeks after Halloween, though, it was true every day, and she couldn't remember ever being happier.
In late November, she came home to a functional living room behind the kitchen, and finished windows. Overwhelmed, she actually sat down to cry. Jake had leaned so hard on social credit to get it done, and it worried her, but he'd seemed so sure that it was the right thing to do, that Mabs had gradually let herself be talked into it. Coming home to the last of the old, wobbly glass panes framed up as the atmospheric outer pane of new, triple-paned windows was simply overwhelming.
Both Noah and Wolf had climbed all over her, trying to reassure her with hugs and kisses. A long cuddle helped her regain her equilibrium, and then, pink-cheeked with heat, she turned the kitchen thermostat down even though it was November, proving that Jake had been right about it being worth the social credit spend. She would be paying off the loans until the end of time, but the house was cozy, her kid was wonderful, and it didn't suck to have an incredibly gorgeous man around the house to crush on, even if he wasn't interested in relationships. Unrequited lust gave Mabs a direction to expend some of that kind of energy in without actually having to worry about getting involved with somebody.
And Jake Rowly was a great subject for unrequited lust. He cooked dinner regularly, for heaven's sake, and usually left it covered on the table with an apologetic note for having been in her kitchen. He took things down off the high kitchen shelves for her, when they were both in there together, and smiled at her good-natured grumbling about tall people designing kitchens.
They'd come to a kind of unspoken arrangement that the downstairs bathroom was mostly his to come in from the barn to use. Mabs might have learned to time her morning wake-up routine in such a way as to occasionally glimpse him jogging back out of the house post-shower, sometimes shirtless.
She'd never appreciated how amazing a well-developed back could be, before that. The first time she'd done that—accidentally!—she'd spent the whole day so mesmerized by the memory of rivulets of water sliding down his spine that she'd messed up half a dozen orders at the diner, which never, ever happened. Luckily, no one had been too upset, but boy, it was like she needed a brain scrubber to stop the fantasies of tracing those droplets with her tongue, or turning him around to follow the lines of water elsewhere on his body, or maybe just somehow accidentally getting in the shower with him and—
Fortunately—or not—most of the time she was too tired to indulge in many fantasies, although it got easier as the weeks went by and they spent several evenings working on something quiet in the house. The buttery roof took shape while she was at the diner during the day, with Jake texting pictures every couple of hours when he felt he'd done something worth admiring.
Everybody at the diner wanted to see the pictures, and Sarah demanded to see them every afternoon when she picked Noah up from the library. Especially, Sarah emphasized, the selfie pics, which occasionally featured Jake without a shirt on, if it was warm enough that afternoon. Most of Mabs's conversations with Sarah on that topic went "shut up shut up shut up shut up," until Noah scolded her for saying mean words to her friend. She apologized, both to Sarah and Noah, and Noah invited Sarah over to Thanksgiving as proof that Mabs really meant it.
"I'd love to," Sarah said cautiously, eyeing Mabs to make sure it was actually all right.
"We're not having a huge party," Mabs warned. "I just want to do something for our first Thanksgiving in the house. It would be wonderful if you were part of it."
"I make a mean green bean casserole," Sarah promised. "Just tell me when."
"Well. Next Thursday."
"Okay, tell me what time!"
Mabs laughed. "About two, I think."
"I'll see you there." Sarah waved goodbye, and Mabs scooped Noah up to bring him home.
* * *
She was still wrangling Noah out of the car at home when her phone rang. Noah grabbed for it, yelling, "I want to say hi!" and she nearly dropped both him and the phone trying to deal with them at the same time. Jake, who'd been up on the roof as she drove up, came down just in time to grab Noah and set him on his feet, allowing Mabs to answer the phone just before it stopped ringing.
"Hi, hello, this is Mabs?" She mouthed 'thank you' at Jake, who smiled, winked, and chased Noah around the front yard to keep him from participating in Mabs's phone conversation.
"Hi, Mabs? This is Erica down at Heartfire Massage. You'd said you were interested in becoming a therapist, but our classes were all booked out?"
Mabs's heart knocked so hard she had to lean against the car. "Yeah?"
"Well, someone just dropped out of the course starting this afternoon. I don't suppose you can take their place?"
Mabs said, "Oh my God," so softly that Jake looked up from chasing Noah with a worried expression. Mabs, lower lip in her teeth, stared at him as she shook her head. "I don't...I don't think I can, Erica. I don't have..."
She didn't have someone to watch Noah. Except Jake Rowly was standing right there, and the truth was, Mabs and her silly crush trusted the man with her life. More importantly, she trusted him with Noah's life. She croaked, "Hang on," into the phone, and held it against her chest, cheeks flushed as she looked at Jake. "Could I...ask a huge favor, Jake?"
"Are you okay?" He stepped closer to her, big hands extended like he would support her if she needed it. "You look upset."
"No, I..." Mabs took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. "I've always wanted to be a massage therapist, see, and an opening in a class has just come up, but it's right n
ow, I'd have to go to town now, and—"
"I'd love to watch Noah, if you're okay with that."
Mabs threw herself into Jake's arms, hugging him. Literally threw, like, she accidentally threw her phone on the ground, but he caught her and picked her up with such strength and warmth she just didn't care. God, he smelled so good, and was so tall and strong, and his body felt so good against hers, and she could just wrap her legs around his hips and—
—and he put her down, smiling, and said, "Better get your phone."
"Right. Right!" Right. There was no one in Virtue that he wanted to have a relationship with. Which was fine, because Mabs had too much to do anyway. Like snatch her phone up, exhale relief that the screen hadn't broken, and put it to her ear to say, "Erica? I can make it."
"Oh, thank goodness! I thought the house had fallen on you or something. Great. Can you be here at four?"
"Yes!" Mabs did a dance as she hung up, then turned to find Jake watching her with the softest smile imaginable.
"I didn't know you wanted to be a massage therapist."
"Yeah, it's, I—" Mabs's excitement suddenly fell away into uncertainty. She put her hands over her face, trying to slow her breathing. "I always wanted to," she whispered into her palms. "I never told—I hardly ever told anybody it was my dream, and the last person I did tell..." She pressed her lips together and shook her head.
Jake waited a moment, then, gently, said, "Mabs?"
"Nothing, um. It's just...it was Noah's dad, and he...he really kind of made fun of me. More than that. He made me feel stupid for thinking I could do something like that. I'm short, you know? I can't haul people around, really, or...I don't know. Maybe it's not a good idea."
"Mabs." Jake reached for one of her hands, not making contact until she actually put her hand in his. "Mabs, it's not stupid. It's amazing that you have the chance to follow a dream. I'm pretty sure massage is a case where size really doesn't matter. You don't have to be a giant to understand how muscles work, or how to release tension points. I think it's an incredible idea. You should go for it."
Mabs looked at their entwined hands, felt the warmth and certainty not just of Jake's touch, and met his eyes to whisper, "Thank you. Thanks, Jake, I...I don't think anybody's ever really encouraged me before. And with this, it's not easy getting a steady enough babysitter to do something like regular classes, so I kind of just...wrote it off." Her smile came back, slowly, although her heart ached with a little uncertainty, still. "So thank you for this. And the encouragement. I promise I'll find somebody to watch him when I've got the class schedule. Sarah will know somebody...."
"Mabs, I'm here, I'm around, if you don't mind...he's a great kid. I don't mind watching him."
"Oh my God, Jake." Mabs had never experienced her heart melting before. Not with an adult, anyway. Noah made her heart melt a lot, but it was different when a tall, handsome, hard-bodied, insanely competent, kind, smart, funny guy just...stepped up. "Jake, you've already done so much for me already. I mean, you've been cooking dinner, for heaven's sake. And you're really good at it," she added helplessly.
Jake grinned. "I cooked today, too. Go eat. You've got a class to get to. We'll figure out the regular minding for Noah this evening, all right? I've got him, this afternoon." His eyebrows lifted. "I probably won't get much work done around the house."
Mabs, feeling much better and starting to smile again, also rolled her eyes. "I guess I'll forgive you, although, jeez, if you can't watch a cyclone disguised as a four-year-old and his pet whirlwind the four-month-old puppy and renovate an entire house in an afternoon, what good are you?"
"I have it on some authority I'm pretty good," he informed her loftily, and Mabs, opening the front door, managed to walk right into the frame.
Bouncing off, rubbing her shoulder, she croaked, "I'll have to take your word for it," and fled toward food and all the thoughts of just what Jake Rowly might be authoritatively good at.
THIRTEEN
Mabs had flung herself into his arms, and Jake had wanted to never, ever let her go. He'd had to, of course, but he thought the memory of her soft warm body in his arms might stay with him forever. All he'd wanted to do was bury his face in her hair and hold on. At least, for that moment, that's what he'd wanted, because simply carrying her upstairs to a bedroom would have needed to wait until after Noah was asleep.
Holding her, Jake thought, would have been enough.
You brought food, his wolf said with a sniff that was meant to be encouraging. Females appreciate good hunters. And you'll watch the cubs. Females like that too. The den is improving. When will you tell her about me?
Jake chuckled softly. When the time is right.
The wolf groaned. She's your mate. The time is never wrong.
"And yet," Jake murmured aloud. He went out to the porch, calling, "Your mom's eating, Noah. Do you want to eat with her?"
"MY MOM'S EATING NOAH ?" Noah shrieked with laughter and fell over, kicking his feet and pounding his fists on the ground. Wolf ran circles around and over him, licking his face and wagging his tail so hard it blurred. After a minute of theatrical hysterics, Noah jumped up and ran past Jake into the house, yelling, "Mama! Mama! Mr. Growly says you're eating Noah! Don't eat me! I'm all chewy!"
"Oh, I bet you'd be tender and delicious," Mabs said from the kitchen. What sounded like a train wreck ensued, Mabs roaring like a monster while Noah screamed happily. "Gotcha! Nom nom nom!"
"No, Mama, no! Don't eat me! Don't eeeeeeaaaaaat meeeeee!" Noah collapsed in a pile of giggles as Jake, smiling, came into the kitchen. "Mr. Growly you're RIGHT Mama WAS eating me! Help! Help!"
Jake waggled his fingers threateningly at Mabs, who laughed. "No, you can't tickle me right now, I have to finish eating and go into town. Noah, honey, Mr. Rowly is going to watch you for a couple of hours, okay? I have to go do something."
Noah, sitting at the table, said, "Okay," with the casual air of a child who felt completely safe, and Jake, who didn't really think of himself as a Grinch, felt his heart grow three sizes anyway. The Brannigan family was well and truly under his skin, and the truth was, Jake Rowly didn't want it any other way.
* * *
Noah was still eating when Mabs gave him a kiss, mouthed thank you again at Jake, gratefully, and went running off to her class. Well, driving off: running to town would take too long. The minute she was out the door, Noah gave Jake a sly look. "Can I watch some television, Mr. Growly?"
Jake laughed. "No."
The little boy stuck his lip out in a pout, but obviously hadn't expected any other answer. He finished up his dinner—or maybe it was second lunch, because at only 3:30 in the afternoon, Jake was certain Noah would want more food later—and ran outside with Wolf bouncing along behind him.
Mabs let him run around outside without immediate supervision all the time, but she'd never left Jake in charge before. His heart absolutely rattled at the thought of anything happening to Noah on his watch, so he followed him out and sat on the porch to keep an eye out. The boy and puppy raced all over the place, involved in some complicated game that Jake, a mere adult, couldn't be expected to understand the intricacies of.
Nothing had ever felt so right.
After at least half an hour of exhaustive play, Noah came staggering up to the porch, gasping, "Can I have some water, Mr. Growly?" and Jake, grinning, got up to get the kid a glass of water.
"Why do you call me Mr. 'Growly,' anyway, Noah?"
"Your voice is nice and growly," Noah caroled after him. "Can Wolf have water too?"
"Wolf has a water bowl!"
"He likes water best from a GLASS!"
So do I, Jake's wolf announced, and with the argument coming from two sides, Jake, grinning, got a second glass of water for the puppy. His wolf perked its ears at the sound of a car in the drive, much too early for Mabs to be back. Jake glanced out the kitchen window and went still as a good-looking dark blonde guy got out of his car and leaned on the front gate.
"Hey
, kid! Noah! Hey, Noah, it's your daddy! Do you remember me, buddy? Wow, you're so big! Is your mom home?" In a lower voice, not mean to be heard, the man muttered, "Oh great, a dog."
Noah, who'd been running full tilt toward the gate to greet the visitor, stopped dead halfway down the path. Wolf skidded a few feet past him, then circled back to stand at Noah's calf, his whole furry body trembling with tension. Even from the kitchen, even in human form, Jake could smell Noah's confusion and nervousness.
He didn't really think about it. He put the water glasses down carefully on the counter, wiped his hands on his jeans, and walked out of the house to stand with Noah.
Not as a man, though. He shifted as soon as he'd turned the door handle, nosing the door open and trotting down the porch steps to put himself firmly in front of the little boy and his protective puppy. He couldn't say why, except the primal force of his animal shape felt right. It even felt less aggressive, in its way. Noah's father might pick a fight with a man, try to establish some kind of unearned territory markers, but unless he was toting a gun, he wasn't likely to mess with a wolf.
And he didn't seem to have a gun. He said, "Holy fuck !" and backed up from the gate. "Jesus, Noah, get away from there, that's a fucking wolf."
Noah patted Jake's spine and bent to pick up Wolf under his front legs, showing the puppy's fat tummy to the world. "This is Wolf, and that's an inappropriate word to use around children."
Jake's jaw dropped open in a wolfy laugh, his tongue lolling. It took everything he had to keep his tail from wagging at the little boy's scolding tone, and his laugh turned into a yawn that—totally coincidentally—showed off all his long ivory teeth.
Noah's father's voice rose. "No, kid, that's a fucking wolf ! Get out of there! Get—Jesus, what the fuck is your mother thinking? You have to come with me right now, Noah."
Noah stepped forward to put his hand on Jake's spine again. "This is Mr. Growly," he said as astonishment shot through Jake, "and I don't know you. Mama says not to go with strangers."
"I'm your goddamn father, kid!"