by R.H. Proenza
GONE
"Lori, what is it... what happened. Oh no, did my ring get you in trouble with Lillian's mean mom?"
"No, Ray. It's not jur ring... nobody know about that. It's... it's..." Huge tears started running down her cheeks. "My brother come from Cuba this week. And now we have to move for my brother job. We are moving far away... to Tampa... far away. I have to... to leave you, Ray!" she said, her words catching in her throat with a pitiful squeak.
It was a kick in the stomach to him. How could this be possible? He had just found the love of his life, the only one he had ever felt this way about, and she was being taken away! How could this be happening?
"Ray, I... I don't know what to say. I am sorry... so sorry... so sorry..." she said between sobs. Lori turned and walked away, before he could say anything, leaving him with despair on his face. The knot in his throat and the tightness in his stomach didn't measure up to the heartache he was already feeling. Ray walked away, almost forgetting where he was going or where his next class was.
They both passed the day in a daze, absorbed in the sadness that had befallen them. He had not even been able to ask her when she was leaving. Finally, during one of the breaks in the hall, she told him it would be right away. As early as the following day. Again Ray felt winded by the news. No time to say proper goodbyes...no time for more kisses, no time for anything.
"I have to see you at the end of the day. Can you tell the teacher you have to go to the bathroom? That you have an ‘emergency', you know, during your last class?"
"Yes, I can do that." They chose a meeting place under a stairwell, completely isolated from everything. When Ray got there, Lori had just walked up. They got up against each other, arms around each other. All they could do is look into each other's eyes, hers with tears, and him still with a knot in his throat. "I will write ‘jew' letters every day, and seal it with a kiss!" she said, remembering the currently popular song by Neil Sedaka on the radio. He placed his lips on hers and they burned together as she shivered a little.
"Ray, ‘ju' make my heart beat like crazy. Let me, um, give ju, um… here, I have to show ju.." She took his hand and placed it over her heart as he placed his lips again on hers again. She held his hand at there for a minute then slowly pulled it down to her breast. A little moan came from her throat, as did from his. He had never intimately touched a girl. Was that a marching band base drum he was hearing? NO! It was his heart beating, and it was deafening in his ears. He caressed her gently, lovingly, dizzy with emotion as she held his hand in place. By now she understood why this made her moist "down there." Her knees felt weak. The feeling was incredible, especially since she felt a change in him, down there, too.
Suddenly they remembered where they were and parted lips. Trying to catch her breath, she said "Ray, I wanted to leave ‘ju' something, a love memory, so ‘ju' not forget me. I have no ring to give to ‘ju', so I give you just – ME, -- esta cubanita [this insignificant Cuban girl]. And jur ring, I..."
"FORGET YOU? NEVER, NEVER!!" he said breathlessly. "No! You take my ring with you. I will feel every time you touch it." He could tell she wanted to return it but stopped her in time. "Lori, I wanted so much to collect more kisses from you and store them in my heart!" His eyes watered as she walked away sobbing, loving his sweet words as always.
That night when he called to hear her voice again, Ray was told she could not come to the phone by Lillian's mom; that she would see him tomorrow. This would be a flagrant lie! The next morning Lori did not come with Lillian as she usually did. Lillian walked up to him with a sad face. "Ray, I know how much you liked my cousin. She talked to me about you a little. I'm sorry to tell you, Lori had to leave. She left last night. I'm so sorry." And, she was gone. Just like that, Lori was gone from his life.
The next two days Ray kept looking through the school halls as if he could her find her. Maybe she had not really left. Maybe there had been a change of plans with her brother and his job. He looked around every corner uselessly, knowing the stupidity of that. When he arrived at the place where they had last kissed he choked. He knew he had to stop looking for someone who wasn't going to be there.
Days passed as he walked in darkness, and miraculously a letter from Lori was waiting at home for him. The back was covered with lipstick kisses and the letters SWAK - Sealed With A Kiss. He closed his eyes took in the scent of her lipstick. With heart beating fast and hands shaking he carefully opened it and read and reread the letter several times. It told of their fast departure, and how much she already missed him and ended the letter with another lipstick kiss inside. He placed his lips on her lipstick. He felt the ache of sadness in his stomach. The scent of her lipstick made his eyes moistened again.
Time passed as they shared letters back and forth. His heart would skip a beat every time he saw the lipstick kisses and SWAK on the envelopes. Soon Lori's words began to change. Ray noticed they began to become less "warm"... more like pen pal words. Time stretched between letters, and then one appeared in the mail with a large lump inside. As he was opening it he already knew it would be his ring.
He opened what he knew to be a sad letter. "Ray, I think is a good idea that I return your ring. Is not fair to you. To us. Is better this way because I am so far away from you. Is better like this." There were more niceties in the letter until her last sentence. His breath caught in his throat as he read it: "I met this boy and...." Ray didn't remember much after that. He walked to the backyard for fresh air, to soothe the stab in his heart that was hurting so much.