by L A Cotton
“Together, me and Jenna weren’t...”
Fuck.
Bell’s.
“That wasn’t what it looked like.”
“You mean you didn’t take her back to the storeroom and fuck her?” Her eyes darted away. “Could have fooled me.”
My spine stiffened; the urge to argue with her strong. Felicity was only half-right; I hadn’t fucked Jenna that night, but she had given me head.
Shame was a feeling I was unfamiliar with, but it didn’t dull the impact.
“I didn’t fuck her,” I said, as if it mattered.
“Whatever, Jason.” She looked at me again. “This, us, it’s all a game. And like I said the other night in your bathroom, I’m not sure I want to play anymore.”
The bathroom. Shit. That had been a mistake. I was drunk and angry and she was right there, my own personal punching bag.
Rather than acknowledge that clusterfuck, I inched closer, erasing the sliver of space between us. “You sure about that?”
Felicity’s lips parted on a soft intake of breath. “What are you doing, Jason?” Her voice trembled.
“I thought it was obvious. I’m here because I couldn’t stand the idea of Thatcher hurting you.”
“Because you’re jealous.” It didn’t come out sassy this time.
“I’m not…” Rubbing the back of my neck, I mulled over what to say next. When really all I wanted to do was kiss her. After all, didn’t they say actions spoke louder than words?
“You’re so fucking beautiful.” My lips hovered dangerously close to hers. It would have been so easy to crash my mouth down on hers. But I wanted to savor her, to taste every inch of her skin.
I wanted to lose myself in her, and that disarmed me.
“Your eyes are so dark,” she said. “It’s like they’re black.”
“They say the eyes are the window to the soul. So what does that say about me?”
“I think it says you’re deadly.” Felicity leaned into me, our noses brushing, lips almost touching.
“Deadly, huh?”
We moved closer still.
“And dangerous...”
“Definitely dangerous,” I echoed, tasting her. Once. Twice.
“Don’t prove me wrong, Jason,” her words slammed into me but I didn’t have time to process them, because her mouth sealed over mine and I knew the game had just changed.
And I wasn’t sure of the rules anymore.
Felicity
Jason was in my house.
It shouldn’t have been the only thought consuming my mind as his lips trailed over my skin, nipping and sucking, but it was.
Jason was here.
Because he was worried.
About me.
I didn’t know what to do with that.
I wanted to store it for future reference; to lock it away for the next time I needed to remind myself he wasn’t just a conceited asshole. But I knew it was a dangerous thing—to let myself believe this meant anything more than right here, in this moment. Jason belonged to Rixon. He had the hearts of almost every single person in our small town. There wasn’t room for mine too. Yet, I found myself falling down the rabbit hole anyway.
Somehow, we managed to make it upstairs to my room without breaking contact. Our clothes scattered in a haphazard trail from my door to my bed which looked better than ever with a half-naked Jason Ford sprawled over it.
“Come here.” He crooked a finger at me, pushing up on his elbows to watch me. When I reached the bed, he shuffled to the edge, planting his feet on the floor. “You always sleep in a Raiders t-shirt?” He fingered the oversized blue and white shirt, pulling me until I stood between his legs.
“I’ll take the fifth,” I said around a coy smile.
“You will, huh?” His hands painted a torturous path up and down my legs, every time inching higher until his fingers were brushing the apex of my thighs. “I like you in Raider colors.” His eyes glittered with lust, but I tried hard not to read between the lines.
Don’t get sucked in.
Don’t fall for his bedroom talk.
Don’t let this become more than it is.
“But I think I prefer you like this.” He pushed the shirt up my hips, all the way over my body until it was bunched around my shoulders. I pulled it off the rest of the way, baring myself to him.
“Perfect,” his voice was strained and I loved it. Loved that I affected him so much because God only knew, he made me melt.
The old me, the me before senior year, wanted to ask a million questions.
What did this mean?
Did he want me or just hot anger-fueled sex?
Did he feel even an ounce of what I felt for him?
But the new me, the girl with a senior year bucket list, stuffed down all the doubt and willingly walked into the lion’s den. Because deep down, maybe I did want my chance to tame the beast.
Jason smoothed one of his hands up my stomach causing me to shiver. “You like that?” He asked huskily, staring up at me with a lazy smirk. “What about this?” His fingers closed around one of my nipples, pinching, and a bolt of pleasure shot through me.
“Oh God.” I tried to swallow the moan building, but his touch was like kryptonite.
His other hand joined the party, rolling and plucking until my knees began to buckle.
“Jason, stop, I can’t...”
“Too much?”
I nodded, my body melting against him. Before I could catch my breath, he’d pulled me onto the bed and rolled me beneath him. “Do you have any idea how much it turns me on knowing no one has been here?” He slid his hand between us, cupping me. “Except me.”
Jason pressed a finger against me, rubbing me through my damp panties. I wanted him to pull them to the side and touch me, really touch me, but he seemed content in taking his time. Teasing me. Driving me wild.
He rocked back, standing at the foot of the bed. His tight-fitting boxers left very little to the imagination and I almost came right there when he grasped himself, squeezing roughly.
“Jason...”
“What do you want, babe?”
Everything, I wanted to say. But instead, I squeaked, “You.”
Eyes dark and hooded, he climbed back over me, kissing me deep and hard. Our tongues danced a fast-paced rhythm, tangling and swirling together until I wasn’t sure where I ended and he began.
His hard length rocked against me, making me wetter, needier. My sexual experiences left little to be desired compared to this. Jason was barely even touching me and I felt him everywhere; my synapses firing off in all directions, heat swimming in my veins.
My hand glided down his hard abs, cut to perfection from hours and hours of physical conditioning. But when I grazed his dick, Jason snagged my wrist, pinning it to the mattress at the side of my head.
“Patience,” he said against my lips before diving back into the kiss. His tongue stroked every inch of my mouth before he moved to my jaw, drifting down the slope of my neck and along my collarbone. I writhed against him, desperate for him to end the sweet torture. But something told me he was only just getting started.
The thought both exhilarated and terrified me.
On a normal day, Jason was a lot to handle. Too much. But like this—half-naked, his skin pressed up against my skin, his mouth latched onto my neck, his hands curled into the flesh on my hip—he was lethal.
Jason broke the kiss again but only to move down my body. He dipped his tongue into my navel, swirling it around. Something so insignificant wasn’t supposed to feel so erotic, but it did. My toes curled, my body aching to be closer to him.
“These need to go,” he whispered against the inside of my thigh, dragging my panties down my legs. I was naked now, fully exposed to the guy I knew would never give me everything I needed.
Everything I wanted.
But I couldn’t find it in myself to care, not with his mouth hovering over my most intimate place. “Has anyone ever kissed you here?” he as
ked huskily.
“N- no,” I panted.
He grinned wickedly before diving for me. His mouth and tongue hot and heavy as he licked and stroked. Jason pressed a finger inside me, then another. I moaned, his name falling from my lips like a prayer.
“You taste so fucking good.” His other hand trailed back up my body, resting between my breasts, pinning me to the bed as he dived back in, eating me with an intensity that had me moaning and bucking off the mattress.
But Jason was a tease. Pulling away every time I almost fell off the edge. Taunting my warm skin with tiny kisses along my inner thighs, rewarding my cries with a deeper press of his fingers. My hands fisted his hair, desperately trying to move his head to where I needed him most, but he was strong.
And I was a breathless wrung out mess.
“Jason, please...”
Finally, he relented, attacking me with his mouth, his tongue licking and flicking my clit with fervor. My body began to tremble, the force of my orgasm tearing through me before I had time to prepare myself.
Jason climbed back up my body, licking his fingers clean before tracing them over my lips. “See how good you taste.” I sucked one into my mouth, high on the lust burning in his eyes, the carnal growl rumbling in his chest as I tasted myself on his finger.
“I think I’m dead,” I breathed out, barely able to form words.
“They don’t call me God for nothing.” He smirked before kissing me, long and deep and painfully slow.
“I want to feel you,” I yawned, my hand drifting down his cut abs.
“Later,” he insisted, rolling off me and tucking me into his body, my back to his solid chest.
“Are we spooning?” I asked, confused he wanted to cuddle rather than have sex.
“You’re exhausted,” was all he said as the weight of what had just happened settled over us. After a couple minutes of silence, I asked, “Jase, what are we doing?”
He stiffened behind me and I half-expected him to get up, yank on his clothes, and make a run for it. But he didn’t. His lips pressed tiny kisses along my shoulder, stirring a fresh wave of desire in my tummy.
“That feels so good,” I whispered, tilting my head to one side.
“You feel good.”
Three little words that took root in my chest and exploded into hopes and dreams and things I knew better than to want with him.
Oh God. What had I done letting him into my house?
Into my heart?
I closed my eyes, trying to rein in the panic swimming in my veins. My mom had always told me to wait, to give myself to the right guy. The guy who would protect my heart, keep it safe, and treat it with respect.
And here I was, in bed, selling my soul to the devil. Because even though I wanted more, even though I wanted him to say this was the start of something, I knew better.
Jason Ford was a beautiful disaster waiting to happen.
And I was right in the eye of the storm.
My eyes fluttered open, and I stretched, my muscles still drenched in pleasure.
“Jason?” I smiled around his name. “Did I fall to—”
Crap.
I bolted upright, the stream of light like a bucket of icy water. It was morning, which meant—
“Felicity, baby, are you awake?” Mom’s voice filtered through the door.
“Jason?” I whisper-hissed, my eyes darting around the room, hoping I might find him hidden in the closet.
He wasn’t of course.
There was no sign of him. No puddle of his clothes on my floor and the slightly indented sheets beside me were already cold.
Jason had left, and it had been awhile.
“Flick, sweetheart, are you awake?” A knock sounded on the door, before it clicked open and Mom’s head appeared.
“Hi, Mom.” I gave her a weak smile, pulling the sheet up around my body. “How was date night?”
“Oh, you know your father, it was all very nice.” Code for they went to their favorite restaurant, ate their favorite meals, and then moved on for dancing at their favorite bar.
“One of these days, you should surprise him.” The words spilled out.
“Surprise him?” Her brows pinched. “I’m not sure your father would appreciate that. You know he doesn’t cope well with change.”
“It was just an idea.” I ducked my head, feeling silly suddenly. I never commented on my parents’ relationship. They were happy, content in their life together. So what if they liked routine?
“Are you okay?” Mom asked. “You look a little... I don’t know... sad.”
“I’m fine, Mom, just tired.” I yawned for effect.
“Are you seeing Hailee today? We miss her.”
I miss her too. I swallowed the words. We hung out all the time still, ate lunch together at school every day, and did all the things we did pre-Cameron, but she had someone now.
Someone who wasn’t me.
“I’m not sure. I think she said something about hanging out with Cameron and Xander.” Cameron’s baby brother was the cutest and he’d taken a real shine to my best friend. But then, who wouldn’t?
“You could go with them? Just because she has a boyfriend now, doesn’t mean—”
“Mom,” I sighed. “It isn’t like that. I’m happy for her. She deserves this.”
“Oh, sweetheart, I didn’t mean... Of course you should be happy for her. I just meant, I remember what it’s like to lose your best friend to a guy.” She gave me a warm smile. “Your day will come, Felicity. High school can be a confusing time. But soon you’ll be in college and I’m sure you’ll meet a nice, intelligent young man who will sweep you off your feet.”
“Like Dad swept you off your feet?”
Her eyes lit up. “Exactly. Guys in high school have a lot of growing up to do. Why date a boy when you can wait a few months and date a man; am I right?” She winked playfully.
“Oh God,” I grumbled, throwing a pillow at her. “Get out of here. It’s too early for this.”
“Okay.” Her soft laughter washed over me. “But if you hurry, I’m making bacon and eggs.”
“Sure thing, Mom.”
She left and I sank back down against the pillows, trying to ignore how much her words affected me.
Grabbing my cell off the nightstand, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Maybe this was the start of my fairy tale? Maybe this time I would get my prince?
But when I finally looked at the screen, there was nothing.
Maybe Jason didn’t want to wake you? I knew better though. Jason had bailed when things got too intense. Yet again, he hadn’t let me touch him. He hadn’t wanted to have sex with me. He hadn’t even bothered waking me to say goodbye. Because he was keeping me at arm’s length. He’d given me so much last night, but he refused to give me the one thing that I really wanted.
His heart.
Jason
“So what happened?” The first words out of Cameron’s mouth weren’t a surprise. Of course he was going to want to know what happened with Felicity. But what was I supposed to tell him when I still didn’t know what the fuck had happened?
“So you did go over there?” Asher added, shooting me a sly grin. “I knew the excuse about your old man was a lie.”
“We talked,” I deadpanned, loading more weights onto the chest press as Cam got into position.
“Talked.” His brow went up. “You expect us to believe that?”
Shrugging, I played it cool. They didn’t need to know Felicity and I had shared a moment. Whatever the fuck that meant. Or that I’d held her like she was the most fucking precious thing in the world. Then as soon as she had fallen to sleep, I’d hightailed out of there without so much as a goodbye because I’d panicked. Because for the first time since Aimee, things felt quiet. There was no expectation crushing my chest; no weight of the team, of winning State, there was just me and a girl and silence.
They didn’t need to know that at all.
“Believe what you want; it�
��s the truth. She told me exactly what happened with Thatcher and his goons and then I left.”
“Right,” Cameron said, leaning down on the bench. “And I’m not head over heels in love with your step-sister.”
“Really?” It was my turn to raise a brow. “You’re really going to throw that shit in my face?”
“It’s in your face whether I throw it or not.” He blew out an exasperated breath. “Hailee and I are endgame. The sooner you get on board with that, the easier things will be on all of us.”
“Endgame. You think you and her are...” Fuck. I couldn’t even say the word. I knew he loved her; knew she felt the same... but endgame?
From the look of complete seriousness on Cam’s face though, I had underestimated just how deep his feelings ran.
“I’m following her to college, man. You think I’d be doing that unless I plan on putting a ring on it one day?”
“Fuck off,” I said. “Now I know you’re yanking my chain because there’s no way in hell you’re seriously suggesting one day you might—”
“Marry her?” A faint smile tugged at his mouth. “Serious as a heart attack.”
Asher snorted and I levelled him with a hard look. “Are you hearing this?”
“Oh I’m hearing it and I can’t say I’m surprised.”
I groaned, spotting the bar for Cam. “But we’re too young for all that shit. We’ve got our whole lives to settle down.” It wasn’t even on my radar yet.
Girls were a commodity, something to help me unwind after a tough game or a grueling training session. Besides, I didn’t have time to worry about anyone else; not when I had to prove myself at Penn next year.
So why did you go over there, jackass? I ignored the little voice rattling round my head. I could be worried about Felicity getting caught in the crossfire without getting attached. It didn’t mean anything, except my heart wasn’t as black as everyone made it out to be. She was Hailee’s best friend, and innocent in all this shit with Thatcher.
That’s all it was.
“Hailee grounds me,” my best friend said as if it was the simplest thing in the world. “When everything was falling to shit, and stuff with Mom was at its worst, she was there. No questions asked. Not because I wear a Raiders jersey or because she sees me as a meal ticket.” He flopped back on the bench, heaving a deep breath. “I’m lucky to have her.”