by L A Cotton
The rest of the guys gave us a wide berth as we slowed down.
“Come on, Jase, this is me. I know you better than that and I know no girl has ever got under your skin the way she has. Tell me I’m wrong?” His brow rose.
It was my turn to smother my reply.
“Didn’t think so.” He flashed me a knowing grin.
“You like her,” I said.
“It doesn’t matter.” Asher shrugged in that easy laidback way of his, but I saw the tightness around his eyes.
He did like her.
Probably a whole lot more than he’d ever admit.
“So what’s the plan? Try and talk me into giving her a shot and then you hang back in the wings waiting for me to screw it up and swoop in and fix her broken heart?”
It was a joke. An attempt to wipe the smug smile off his face. But it backfired because the second the words left my mouth, I realized it was probably true. I would screw it up and he would be there, waiting to wipe away her tears.
“Admit that you like her, and I’ll back off,” he said. “I know it kills you seeing me flirt with her.”
“You’ve lost your fucking mind.” I barged past him and kept walking. Asher didn’t know the first thing about what I felt.
Dammit, I didn’t even know.
“Jase, man, when are you going to stop and pull your head out of your ass?”
Stopping, I glanced back, eyes narrowed to slits.
“She won’t wait forever.” He just wouldn’t stop pushing. “And yeah, maybe I will be around to help her forget all about you. Then what? You just gonna sit by and watch me move in on your girl?”
My girl?
It shouldn’t have sounded so damn good.
“You’d choose her over me?” I deflected his slip of the tongue.
“What are we, five?” He ran a hand down his face. “All I’m saying is, you’d better figure out what you want because I’m sure there are plenty of other guys just waiting to take your place.”
“Is that a threat, Bennet?” I stood taller, irritation rippling up my spine.
“You’re a dick, you know that?”
“Never claimed to be anything else.”
“Just don’t destroy her, man. She’s strong but she’s not that strong.” He moved around me, not sparing me a backward glance, while I was left standing there wondering when life got so complicated.
The answer as clear as day.
Felicity fucking Giles.
I was done waiting.
The plan was simple—lure Felicity into meeting me and fuck her clean out of my head. Because Asher was right, she was under my skin. Burying herself deeper and deeper. She’d been the one to tell me she wouldn’t play my games, yet it felt like she was running circles around me. And for as much as I wanted her, wanted to taste her lips again, to soak up the quiet that existed whenever she was around; deep down, I knew this thing between us could never work.
Me: Tonight. You, me, and every item on your list you haven’t completed.
Felicity: I never had you down as a dog lover…
Me: WTF?
Felicity: Nothing, forget I said anything.
Me: You’re so fucking strange.
Felicity: So you like to keep reminding me.
Shit. Not the best way to score brownie points. Considering my reply, I went with the truth, for once.
Me: What if I told you, I like your brand of strange?
Felicity: Hold the phone. Did Jason Ford just admit he likes something?
Me: Easy there, Giles. I said I like your strangeness... I’m not sure it’s a reason to be flattered.
Felicity: You like me.
Yes.
Yes, I do.
But I couldn’t tell her that. So instead, I went with something typical jock-asshole.
Me: I’d like you bouncing on my dick more.
Felicity: Okay.
My eyes almost bugged out of their sockets.
Me: Okay, you want to bounce on my dick? Because I’ve got to say, Giles, I’m a little surprised...
Felicity: Very funny! Okay, I’ll meet you...
My pulse ratcheted.
Me: Yeah? After school? Or now?
Felicity: Cutting class is on my list.
I smirked triumphantly. I fucking knew it.
Me: Meet me after second period, round by the locker room.
Felicity: You’ve really given this some thought.
Me: I think about a lot of things.
Her. Naked. Underneath me.
Felicity: Goodbye, Jason. I’ll see you soon.
Felicity
I’d lost my freaking mind.
It was the only explanation as I hid out in the girls’ bathroom until the hall had emptied. When a good five minutes after the start of third period had passed, I slipped out of the bathroom, ducked down the hall and straight out of one of the side entrances. My heart pounded in my chest as I crossed the lawn and went around the back of the building. But it was nothing compared to how it galloped away when I spotted Jase’s Dodge Charger, the engine humming just like the gentle hum beneath my skin.
He looked completely at ease as I opened the door and slid inside. “I didn’t know if you would come.”
“Just drive,” I clipped out, my eyes wide as they darted around looking for any sign that I’d been caught.
“Don’t look so worried,” he said smoothly. “No one will even know you’re gone.”
I threw him an ‘are you for real’ look and he chuckled darkly.
“It’s easy for you to say,” I said. “You’re allowed to do whatever you want and no one bats an eye.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t be so sure of that.”
His eyes swept over me, making me shudder and my tummy clench. But I tried to ignore his suggestive tone, the flare in his eyes.
Too late, you already gave him all the power agreeing to cut class.
“If you want to go back, I can—”
“Just drive,” I repeated.
“As you wish.” Jason smirked as he pulled off and headed out of the school gates. “You know, it might help if you breathe.”
I shot him daggers and he chuckled again.
A few seconds of silence passed and then he said, “I was sorry, about Sunday morning.”
“No you weren’t,” I replied, resigned more than angry. Jason was Jason. He hadn’t promised me anything, and I hadn’t asked for anything. So the fact I was in the car with him when I should have been sitting in third period English wasn’t lost on me. But I couldn’t seem to make rational decisions when it came to Rixon’s bad boy star quarterback.
Maybe I was more like Jenna Jarvis and the gymnastics team and cheerleaders than I realized. But they didn’t have a list. They didn’t want to live every second of senior year as though it was their last.
I did.
At least, that was my excuse for my behavior of late.
“You’re not what I expected, Giles,” he murmured, his words making me sit a little straighter.
“Am I supposed to know what that means?”
I was me. Nothing more, nothing less. Until recently, Jason had made no effort to hide the fact he found me annoying. But now he looked at me differently, talked to me in a way I never expected.
It was all very confusing.
Any normal girl might have believed it meant she was special or that she was capturing the heart of the guy she liked. I knew better. I knew you didn’t capture a guy like Jason, you were granted an audience; allowed to breathe, to talk, to be in his presence.
And for some reason, right now in this moment, he had chosen me. Given me the royal nod. I smothered a nervous laugh.
“What?” he asked as my eyes drilled holes into the side of his head.
“Nothing.”
“I can hear you thinking from all the way over here, spit it out.” The corner of his mouth lifted.
“I’m just wondering what it’s like to be you. Loved by an entire town, worshipped by
most of your classmates. Guys want to be you, girls want to...” The word lodged in my throat.
“You can say it, Giles, I won’t tell.”
“Fine, girls want to fuck you even though they know that’s all they will ever get from you.”
That made him shift uncomfortably in his seat.
Good.
Asshole.
“Maybe I’m worth the ride,” he threw back, and I snorted.
“No one is that good in bed.”
“Is that a challenge?” He glanced over at me, daring me with his dark intense gaze.
“Shouldn’t you be watching the road?”
“I don’t know, the view from here is pretty incredible.” He winked before turning his attention back to the road.
I silently screamed at my emotions to batten down the hatches because whether he knew it or not—planned it or not—Jason was knocking down my defenses one by one.
He’s Jason Ford. Jason freaking Ford. He doesn’t date.
He doesn’t do commitment.
He doesn’t fall in love.
Internal pep talk over, I smoothed down my skirt and said, “So where exactly are we going?”
“It’s a surprise.”
“I bet that’s what you say to all the girls.” I winced at how desperate the words sounded. But I had a serious case of foot-in-mouth syndrome on a good day, let alone when Jason was around to flummox me with his smooth lines and easy charm.
I waited for his reply, but it never came. Instead, he pressed his lips together as if to keep his reply from escaping.
Weird.
Silence followed. Thick and heavy; the kind that didn’t feel uncomfortable but wasn’t entirely comfortable either. I forced myself to look out of the window, to watch the town roll by, giving myself space to breathe and prepare for whatever Jason had up his sleeve.
Eventually, we began to slow, but only because Jason had turned off the main road onto an overgrown track that meandered through the trees.
“The lake?” I asked, a thrill shooting through me. He’d brought me here before, but we’d parked in the sandy lot at the entrance. Jason showed no signs of stopping this time.
“Don’t worry,” he said, “we’re not going swimming. Not today, anyway.”
The car jerked and bounced over the uneven terrain. I hadn’t been out here in years, since me and Hailee had stopped swimming at the lake a few summers ago.
“What?” Jason’s gravelly voice washed over me.
“We used to love it out here.”
“So why’d you stop coming?”
“You’re kidding me, right? The summer after you stole Hailee’s clothes and bike and she had to walk home half-naked in the blistering heat... sound familiar?”
His lips pursed.
“You were a total jerk to her.”
The car came to an abrupt stop near the water’s edge. “Yeah, well things change.”
“Do they?” I asked, desperate to know what he was thinking, to get inside his head and uncover his deepest darkest secrets.
When he didn’t answer, I whispered, “What are we doing, Jason?”
“I thought it was pretty obvious.” His lip curved smugly.
“Jason…”
“What do you want from me, Giles?”
“I want to know you. Not the Jason Ford everyone else gets to see, the real you.”
“The real me, huh?” he scoffed. “I don’t think anyone wants to know the real me. All they want is the football star, the jock, the guy who can propel them to social greatness. People want the illusion, not the real thing.”
“I do.” The words came out small.
“And what if you don’t like what you find?” His expression softened, not much, but it was there. “What if underneath the number one jersey there’s nothing but darkness?”
“I don’t believe that. You care, Jason, I know you do. About Hailee, about your friends…” About me. The words lodged in my throat. “You’re not just the conceited asshole you let everyone believe you are.”
“Let’s get one thing straight,” he said, his eyes pinning me to the spot. “I am. I’m not the reformed bad boy and I’m not looking to be changed by...” He swallowed the words and I felt myself flush with indignation.
“You think I want to change you?”
“All girls do.”
“Let’s get one thing clear, Jason,” I shot back, my voice low and sultry, “I’m not all girls.”
Heat flashed in his eyes as he leaned closer, taking the air with him. “I’ll break you. You know that, right? This, whatever this is, won’t end well.”
Run, the little voice in my head screamed, run far away and never look back.
But I didn’t reach for the door handle. Instead, my hand reached for him, twisting into his jersey and yanking his mouth to mine.
“You’re fucking crazy,” he murmured, meeting my lips halfway, attacking me with his mouth, with frantic licks of his tongue. Jason kissed like it was the final play and the whole game was on the line.
His hands wasted no time running down my body, palming my breasts through my sweater. “Off, now,” he commanded as if his words were gospel. Perhaps they were, given how quickly I helped him peel it over my head. His lips twisted in a wolfish grin as he appraised my body. “Ever been fucked on the hood of a car, babe?”
We were back to that.
Not Giles.
Babe.
I didn’t know which I hated more.
“Jason,” it was a breathless whisper, “you know I haven’t.”
“That’s right you haven’t because I’m the only guy to ever have this.” His hand glided down my stomach, finding the waistband of my leggings.
“God, I hate you,” the words flew out of my mouth before I could stop them.
His head lifted, confusion pinching his expression. “Funny, because from where I’m sitting, it looks a lot like you’d do anything to bounce on my—”
“Jason! Stop.”
“Stop?” His brow shot up. Before I could process what was happening, Jason pulled me onto his body, forcing my legs apart to straddle his thighs. “You want me to stop?” He rocked into me, his erection hitting my stomach.
“I... yes… no.” I tried to smother the moan building.
“Which is it, Giles, because you’re sending me mixed signals over here?” He continued rocking into me while his hands played lazily with my breasts.
“I can’t think when you’re...” Pleasure rippled through me. But it wasn’t enough.
It wasn’t nearly enough.
“What, babe? You need more?” Jason’s hand slid up my throat spanning my neck so that he could push me backward gently. Then he sucked the skin there.
My hands twisted harder; pulling him in, pushing him away, I was no longer sure.
“Say it,” his voice echoed around us. “Tell me you want me, want this.”
“I...” Don’t do it, don’t give him so much power over you.
“Say the words, babe.” His thumb pressed into my center, causing me to jerk above him.
“I want you,” my voice trembled, mirroring my body. “I want... this.” The words left me in a sharp exhale. Victory flashed in his eyes, the air around us shifting as an understanding settled between us.
I did hate him.
I hated that he made me feel so alive, so desired.
I hated the way he knew exactly how to kiss me, touch me, to get me to fall at his feet.
But most of all I hated how I didn’t hate him, not even a little bit.
“Relax,” he said as if he knew I was all up in my head. “If it makes you feel any better, I hate you too.” His thumb brushed my neck slowly before he chased his touch with his lips. “I hate how I can’t stop thinking about you.” Kiss. “I hate that you say the most ridiculous things.” Kiss. “But most of all I hate that Thatcher and his goon had their hands on you. I hate...” His lips touched my skin again as my heart crashed against my ribcage.
&n
bsp; This wasn’t the plan.
He wasn’t supposed to say all of this, to feed the small part of me dreaming of a different time and place. A time and place where Felicity Giles could ever end up with a guy like Jason Ford.
I waited for his words, greedy for more. But they never came, replaced with hot kisses as he dragged his tongue up and down the hollow of my throat. Disappointment flooded my chest but deep down, I wasn’t surprised. Jason would never admit the truth. That there was something between us. That this was more than just sex. And for as much as it hurt, maybe it was better this way.
His hands were all over me now, his mouth the same.
“Jason,” I said, gently tugging his hair. “Slow down.”
He lifted his face, brow arched. I took advantage of the moment, pushing my hands against his chest to move him back. Then I fumbled around to find the recline handle and pulled.
“What the fuck?” he grunted, and I stifled a giggle. Jason needed control. He needed to hold all the power. But this time, I wanted to be in the driving seat.
I wanted to drive him wild.
“What game are you playing, Giles?” he asked, his hands gripping my hips as I gently rocked above him. We both groaned, and another thrill shot through me. He was at my mercy now.
With my newfound confidence, I hooked my hands into the waistband of my leggings and pushed them down over my hips. It was no easy feat getting them off, but I managed. If Jason noticed my clumsy striptease, he didn’t comment, his hooded gaze too busy eating up every inch of my bare skin.
“Fuck, you’re beautiful,” he whispered.
Yeah, fuck. His words were like a poisoned arrow through my heart.
As if he noticed my hesitation, challenge glinted in his eye. He was ready to pounce, to take back the power and flip this whole thing on me. But I wasn’t backing down. I wasn’t just a pawn in his game.