by L A Cotton
Usually after a game, the adrenaline lingered. The high of the win or low of a defeat pulsing through my veins like a synthetic drug. But we’d done it. We’d won the title with a near perfect season. All the pressure had melted away, and I could finally relax.
I’d really done it.
“One more drink and then I think we’ll head out,” Felicity said, as if she had a direct line to my thoughts.
I fucking hoped she didn’t.
Because there were things she didn’t know yet.
Decisions I’d made that would affect us both.
“We can stay,” I said. There was no pressure here. No guys chanting my name or fans wanting autographs. These guys knew me well enough to keep me grounded, to give me space.
And I fucking loved them for it.
Felicity
“So, you and Griff?” I waggled my brows at Elodie across the table.
“Are just friends.” She pursed her lips, pretending to finish up the notes she was making.
“Friends who spend almost every night together?” My brow arched.
“Griff is...” She let out a long breath, tapping her pen against her lip. “He’s complicated.”
“Aren’t they all? But the season is over now.” The Quakers had ended with a perfect season, only making their title win all the sweeter.
“I’m happy to see where it goes, but I’m not under any illusion it’s the real deal. Besides, Griff is a jock, his eyes will wander eventually.” My stomach twisted and she paled. “Oh shit, Fee, I didn’t mean...”
“I know.” I did. She was firmly in the Jason/Felicity fan club.
“You guys are okay, right? Things seem... good.”
“We’re fine.”
Elodie smiled. “And you have your weekend away to look forward to. New York in December will be so romantic.” She let out a dreamy sigh.
“Yeah, it will be nice.” I was looking forward to seeing Hailee and Mya and spending some quality time with them without the pressure of classes. “I can’t believe the semester is almost over.”
“And we survived.”
“We did,” I said around a smile. I didn’t doubt that my sessions with Darcy had a lot to do with my improved grades, but I was still relieved. I only had a couple more papers to submit before I was officially done for the holidays.
“Is that the time?” Elodie frowned. “I need to go.” She collected up her things and stuffed them in her bag.
“Hot date?” I snickered.
“Griffin is taking me to The Gridiron for burgers.”
“Romantic.”
“We can’t all be you, jetting off to New York for a weekend of romance.” She stuck out her tongue before moving for the door.
“Hey, Elodie,” I said as she grabbed the handle.
“Yeah?”
“I’m really glad I talked to you that day in class.”
“Yeah.” She beamed. “Me too.”
Elodie left and I got comfy on the sofa. Grabbing my cell phone, I noticed I had a new text from Jason.
QB#1: Need to talk... are you home?
Me: Yeah. Elodie just left. Is everything okay?
QB#1: I’ll be home soon.
My brows pinched. If Jason wanted to make me worry, he’d done a pretty good job of it. By the time I heard his key rattle in the door, I had a giant pit in my stomach.
Sitting forward, I waited for him to enter the apartment. “Hey.” I searched his face for any sign of what was wrong, but he wore a mask of indifference.
“Hey,” he said weakly, dropping down on the couch. Before I could ask what was wrong, Jason pulled me into his arms, burying his face in my shoulder.
“Jason, what is it? What’s wrong?” Dread snaked through me.
His body trembled beneath my fingers as I held onto him as tight as he held me. Nudging him away with my shoulder, he finally straightened to look at me. “Coach called me.”
“He did?”
“I’m in, babe... I made the final four.”
“The Heisman Trophy?” My eyes grew to saucers. “Oh my god, Jason, that’s amazing.”
“I think I’m in shock.” Another shudder rolled through him.
“Hey.” I cupped his face. “You deserve this; you deserve it so much. Oh my god, your dad is going to freak.”
“I already called him. He got all choked up.”
“Well, yeah he did.” I smiled. No one wanted this more for Jason than Kent Ford. “I thought you were coming here to tell me something bad.”
“What?” Jason’s brows furrowed. “What would I be—” his expression fell. “Us. You thought I was coming to talk about us.”
“Honestly, I don’t know what I thought, but you were so certain you wouldn’t make the final cut.”
“Come here, woman.” He anchored his hand at the nape of my neck and guided my face to his. “What do I have to do to show you that me and you… we’re endgame?”
“Jason...” I averted my gaze to escape his intense stare.
“No, babe. You need to hear me when I say it’s you.” He forced me to look at him. “It’s always going to be you.”
“I love you, Jason,” I said, because it was true. It would always be true.
No matter where the future took us, my heart would always belong to Jason Ford.
Jason
“Good evening and thank you for joining us. Without you, the fans, college football and the Heisman Trophy would not be what they are today. I’m honored to be here this evening, representing the Heisman Trophy Trust. Congratulations to this year’s finalists for their incredible feats on the field this college football season. We have so enjoyed watching you and following you in this year’s Heisman race…”
The Heisman Trophy Trustee’s voice was drowned out by the blood roaring between my ears as I sat beside the other three finalists. My heart was beating like a bass drum in my chest, my palms were slick, and sweat beaded across my brow under the glare of the lights as the Trustee continued her speech.
“And now it’s time to welcome a new member into our Heisman family. It is my pleasure to announce this year’s winner…”
Time slowed down. I never expected to be here tonight. I never expected to be announced as a finalist… but now I was here, now it was a possibility, I wanted it.
I wanted it so fucking much.
“Jason Ford, University of Pennsylvania.”
Cheers erupted behind me as I stood and shook hands with the other finalists, hardly able to believe my ears.
I'd won.
I'd fucking won.
“Congratulations, man,” one of them said, but it all became white noise to the thrum of my heart in my chest.
This was… I had no fucking words.
Nothing.
It was a good thing Cameron and Asher had helped me write an acceptance speech just in case… because, fuck.
I moved toward the aisle behind me and my dad grabbed me, pulling me into a bear hug. “I’m so proud of you, son. So fucking proud.”
“Thanks, Dad,” I managed to choke out over the giant lump caught in my throat.
Denise was next, her overpowering perfume making me cough as she enveloped me into a hug. “Congratulations, Jason. I know what this means to you.”
We’d had a tenuous relationship when she and Hailee first moved in with me and my old man. Right up until senior year, I’d wanted nothing to do with her or her daughter. But as I moved along the line to my stepsister, I could no longer imagine not having her in my life.
“I’m so proud of you.” Hailee hugged me, and I let her. Because I was no longer that same boy who had tormented her, and she was no longer the girl who rubbed me the wrong way.
“Get over here, bro.” Cameron and Asher pulled me into a big group hug. The three of us silent as we acknowledged this moment.
The two of them had been there for every high, every low. They had seen me at my best, my worst, and every shade in between. And their loyalty and friendship had
never faltered, not once.
Before I broke away, Ash grabbed my neck and pulled me close, “Now you go up there and own it, you hear me?” He shot me a wink, stepping aside to let me kiss Mya’s cheek.
“Go get her, tiger,” she whispered.
Felicity was waiting on the end, tears brimming in her eyes as she watched me close the distance between us. She looked stunning in the jade-green dress that fell over her curves like a silk waterfall.
“You did it,” she breathed as I hauled her against my body, not caring we were in a room full of people, live on national television.
“I couldn’t have done it without you.” I couldn’t explain it to her, but Felicity grounded me in a way that no other could. Her wild spirit and empathy, her passion and insecurities, everything about her anchored me. I needed that.
I needed it more than I’d ever realized.
“Go,” she nodded to the stage, “they’re waiting.”
Stealing a kiss that barely touched my bone-deep need for her, I looped back around to the other row of chairs to shake hands with my coaches.
“Never doubted you for a second, son,” Coach Faulkner said, giving me a rare smile.
“Thanks, Coach.”
“Now get up there and do Penn proud.”
With a swift nod, I made my way to the stage. “Congratulations, Jason.” Someone guided me to the podium where the trophy was situated. I curled my hands over the bronze sculpture and lifted it in the air to hair-raising applause.
My heart beat so hard I felt a little lightheaded, but I couldn’t wimp out now. This meant everything… everything to me. Placing the trophy back on its stand, I pulled the scrap of paper out of my pocket and looked out over the crowd.
“This is… wow. I should warn you now, I perform much better on the field.” Emotion welled up inside me and I inhaled a shuddering breath, but the gentle laughs from the crowd settled my nerves. “I want to thank my team first. At the beginning of the season we lost our captain, Lincoln Manella, and Coach Faulkner asked me to step up as captain.”
“Hell yeah, he did,” Asher yelled, and everyone chuckled again.
“The team didn’t only accept my leadership, they respected it. My O line: Gio, Klein, Macca, Treyvon, Austin, Louis, Paulie. Those guys have been unbelievable this season and I couldn’t have done it without them. All my teammates have supported me and made this possible. I want to thank my coaches for guiding me right and keeping me grounded. For imparting their knowledge and pushing me to work harder.” I gave an appreciative nod in the direction of Coach Faulkner and his team.
“I want to thank the team at Heisman for everything this weekend. For allowing me and my family to be here. It’s an honor to stand on the same stage with some of my childhood idols.” I glanced at the line of previous winners standing tall, all here to celebrate this moment. “I want to thank my dad, for pushing me to go harder, faster… for showing me what it takes to be the best. To my stepmom and sister, for being here today despite our history. My friends, my brothers in all the ways that matter, for always having my back. I’m so grateful. To the other finalists here tonight, it has been an incredible experience sharing our journeys and being in the company of such talent.”
Taking another deep breath, I steeled my spine. “Earlier in the season, someone suggested that I could be in the running for the Heisman Trophy, but I dismissed it. No way a kid out of a small town in Pennsylvania, playing for an Ivy League team, was going to end up here tonight. But here I am.” Another round of applause washed over me and I soaked it up. “So to anyone sitting at home, thinking it will never be them, that they will never make it… play harder, work harder… love harder, and the rest will follow.”
My hand slid into my dress slacks pocket, my body vibrating with restless energy. I felt like I’d been standing up there for an hour, not ten minutes. But there was still one person left to thank.
Rubbing a hand over my jaw, I forced down the wave of emotion threatening to bring me to my knees. “Before I say goodnight, there’s someone else I need to thank tonight.” My eyes found her down in the audience. “Two years ago, I believed the only way to get to the top was with rigid determination and narrowed focus. I won’t sugarcoat it; I was a bit of an arrogant ass. But then Felicity barreled into my life and showed me it didn’t have to be like that. Love doesn’t make us weak, it makes us strong. Football will always be the dream, always. But what’s a dream without a pretty girl by your side and a future laid out before you?”
I left the stand and walked along the far aisle to Felicity. Her eyes widened, filled with fresh tears. “J- Jason, what the hell are you doing?” She pressed a hand to her mouth as I dropped to one knee and presented her with the ring box I’d been carrying all evening.
“Felicity Charlotte Giles, you once permanently inked my stamp on your skin, but what I didn’t tell you that day was, you’re permanently tattooed on me too. You own me, babe. And I wasn’t kidding when I said we’re endgame.”
Mya and Hailee let out little shrieks of approval as I flipped the lid.
“So, what do you say, Giles? Want to really make this a night to remember and say yes to marrying me?” The words coiled through me, filling me with so much emotion I had to blink the tears right out of my eyes.
“You’re crazy.” She slid off her chair, kneeling with me.
“Crazy about you.” I grinned. “I know this season has been hard. I know the next two seasons will probably be equally as hard. But I thought that maybe if you’re wearing my number as well as my ring, it would help you remember that I’m all in, babe. I’m so fucking in.”
“Yes,” she cried. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”
I’d won a ring once. A championship ring in my senior year of high school. It had meant everything to me at the time; but this, right here, sliding the princess cut diamond band onto Felicity’s finger showed me it was nothing compared to this moment.
Because no matter where my football career took me; no matter if I entered the draft and landed a spot with an NFL team, it would be nothing without this girl by my side.
Football was the dream.
But Felicity?
She was my endgame.
Part II
Junior Year
Asher
“I can’t believe it’s junior year already,” Mya let out a small sigh as the six of us sat around the electric fire out on the terrace on the roof of our building. Summer was slowly retreating, giving way to the crisp mornings and cool evenings.
It had been a crazy year. Jason and Felicity had gotten engaged after he won the Heisman Trophy, seven months ago. Their relationship had only gotten stronger after he put that ridiculously big diamond on her finger. I couldn’t speak for Cameron, but I felt the pressure. We were still young—we still had two years of college left—but I wanted that.
I wanted to bind Mya to me in all the ways that mattered.
She’d rip me a new one though if I even tried to get down on one knee. She wanted us to enjoy life, to make the most of college and classes and football. If anything, I was the Flick in our relationship; wondering when this smart, gorgeous, humble girl was going to slip through my fingers. But I wasn’t about to confess that to her or my friends, so I pulled her closer and kissed her hair, reminding myself of how fucking lucky I was.
“You ready for another season?” I asked Jase.
“You know it.”
It had been a summer of football camps, some time visiting my folks and Mya’s aunt back in Rixon, and a week at the Hamptons.
“You think the Wolverines can go all the way this season?” I asked Cam.
He gave me a half-shrug. “Who knows?”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“Ash,” Hailee warned, and I frowned.
What the hell was happening right now?
“Xander got upset when we left,” Cam blew out a long breath, running a hand down his face. “He said some things.”
“Shit, man, I didn’t realize.” Xander was almost seven and he adored his older brother to the point where he struggled with Cam being away so much.
“It’s just hard, ya know? I want to be there for him, but I’m not always going to be around.”
“It’s not your fault.” Hailee rubbed his arm.
“Sorry for being a dick.” I apologized.
“Nah, it’s not you, it’s me,” he murmured.
Being an only child, I didn’t get what it felt like to carry the responsibility of a sibling, especially a little kid who had already been through so much.
He still had nightmares about his mom being sick, even though everyone thought he was too young to remember. I’d only seen Xander a handful of times since we graduated, but the last time I’d seen the little guy, he’d seemed lost. Wearing a vacant look, he’d barely smiled unless his big brother was giving him his full attention.
I knew Cameron carried a lot of guilt over leaving. His heart torn between the girl he loved and the little brother he wanted to protect.
“But your mom is okay, right?”
“Yeah, she’s fine. But she and my dad are both at a loss about what to do with him. He’s so... different.”
“He’ll be okay,” Hailee said. “As soon as we can, we’ll bring him out to Michigan and show him the sights again.”
Cameron leaned down and kissed her. “Thank you.”
“Are you excited about classes, Mya?” Flick asked, changing the subject to safer shores.
“I can’t freakin’ wait. Although I wish it was senior year so I could jump into field practice.”
“I’m not going to lie, I’m a little scared about clinical practice.”
“Nah, babe.” Jason hooked his arm around Felicity. “You’ve got this.”
“And hey, at least tutor boy will be around to help you if things get too much.” I smirked and Jase flipped me off.
“Really, you went there?” A low growl rumbled in his chest.
“Joke. I’m joking.”
“Yeah, well it doesn’t matter,” Felicity said. “Darcy graduated. He’s no longer at Penn.”